Dear Diary (Drama: Vampire Style)

I should have mentioned it to them… all of them. I didn’t want Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper or Baylor to become angry with me, so I didn’t tell them of my plans to let Charlie know about what I’ve become.

Alice, Esme, Edward and, of course, Carlisle were the only ones I told.

After Edward called Carlisle to come help with Charlie and his fainting episode, Carlisle then called Esme at the Cullen house to let her know he would be late. He briefly explained what had happened to Charlie. Esme was on the home office phone thinking no one could hear her when she asked Carlisle, “Does Charlie know about Bella now?” Followed up by, “He fainted after she showed him her skin? Is he okay?”
Rosalie overheard the entire thing.

Great.

My return to the Cullen house after that was less welcoming than the very first time I had ever visited, as a human. As soon as Edward, Nessie and I walked through the door, I heard a low heinous growl. Alice glided over to us and whispered the words I was afraid of: “They know.”

I didn’t have a second to ask Alice any questions before Rosalie was face-to-face with me, her lips pulled over her perfect teeth. Edward and Alice crouched in front of me, Edward letting out a deep, threatening growl. It’s odd how they’re all so quick to forget that I’m technically stronger than any of them, because I am a newborn. No matter what, though, Edward will eternally feel protective of me.

Rosalie didn’t give me a second to explain before she started to interrogate me.
“What will you do when the Volturi find out, Bella?”
“Did you even think to run this past the rest if us?”

Then the last question, and this one hurt. “How could you risk your own daughters’ life like that?”

Edward’s voice echoed off the white walls as he lashed back at Rosalie. Somehow, this turned into a brawl between just the two of them. But I couldn’t let it be this way. This was my fault. I began a feeble attempt to explain myself, but Edward’s voice drowned mine out and Rosalie wouldn’t even look at me, anyway.

Jasper, Emmett and Baylor were completely siding with Rosalie, and even questioned my commitment to the family. Esme and Carlisle swiftly leaped down the stairs at this point, and Carlisle asked that we discuss this in a more “respectable manner.”

Rosalie kept going with the jabs and questions, though. She was unrelenting, to say the least. “Why should we respect Bella when she can’t follow a simple rule?” she hissed, her eyes refusing to leave my face as she spoke.

I tried and tried to reassure them all that Charlie wouldn’t tell a soul. I tried to explain how hard it was to have a living human family member who I had to lie to every single day; how hard it was to no longer be able to spend much time with Charlie, and to have no explanation for him when he simply asks me why.

I could see Emmett was beginning to moderately understand my points. He placed his arm around Rosalie, who was still giving me that cadaverous glare. Jasper was clearly enraged, too. Lucky for me, though, Alice was quick to rebuttal anything he said, in my defense. Alice was great at seeing both sides of everything.

Edward was half–arguing with people’s thoughts, and half arguing their actual spoken words, which got confusing.

At one point everyone was growling over each other, no one listening to one another, when Nessie slowly walked towards Rosalie and placed one hand on her cheek.
Rosalie’s face slowly relaxed, her eyes seeming less lethal, less threatening. Edward had already read Rosalie’s thoughts and mumbled three quick words out loud: “Nessie is scared.”

In what seemed like a fraction of a moment, Baylor hurried upstairs, Alice and Jasper went and sat in front of the television, Emmett and Rosalie stormed off into the garage, and Carlisle and Esme took Nessie into the backyard and called Jacob to come be with her.

Edward and I stood in the front lobby of the house, stunned, staring at each other. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t take it back. Charlie already knew.

In one instantaneous move, Edward placed his arm around me, holding me in his tight, protective grip. I placed my head on his shoulder and let him into my mind. I needed him to see how truly horrible I felt for any danger I’ve caused Cullen’s, and how regretful I was for posing any danger on our beautiful little Nessie. Our angel.

I just wish they could have seen and placed as much trust in Charlie as I did. I’d been back to Charlie’s house, and gave him the long version of our story – once he was sitting down, of course.

He wont tell a soul. I know he wont.

Another thing, too, is that Charlie’s line of work has required him to keep numerous secrets from the towns’ people on many occasions. He’s used to keeping secrets. Besides, he knows we could all get destroyed if word got out; Charlie would never do anything to cause that to happen. I’m his daughter, he wants to protect me.

Before I could finish my train of thought, Baylor almost silently flew down the stairs with the one small khaki colored bag he had brought with him, walked past Edward and I – without even glancing at us – and flew out the door.

Alice daintily walked back into the lobby from the T.V. room, her eyes focused, her body graceful, yet tense. I swiftly glanced at Edward, who was giving Alice a knowing stare. Alice was having a vision and I knew it wasn’t good.

Alice and Edward took me outside, where no one could hear us, and told me that Baylor was going to the Volturi.

To Be Continued…

-Bella

Dear Diary (Reveal)

Charlie didn’t take it so well.

In fact, he is pretty much in disbelief. It was expected, though. I had a difficult time actually saying what I am. Oddly, when I tried to say the word vampire to Charlie, it got caught in my throat, wouldn’t come out. Edward had to finish my sentence for me. Then, after Edward blurted it out, I actually considered denying it… until I realized how crazy that would have made Edward seem. It didn’t help that Charlie asked Edward to repeat himself, four times.

The funny thing is, when I say that I’m a vampire out loud, I start to question my own sanity. All the myths and stereotypes I heard growing up left me with a distorted view of what a vampire really is. If I learn to let go of those preconceived notions, I think I will start to accept – and more readily believe – that I am, in fact, a vampire.

The whole time we were explaining ourselves to Charlie, Edward could, of course, read his thoughts. This was very frustrating for me because I wanted so badly to know what Charlie was really thinking. I didn’t want to make him scared or uncomfortable in anyway. Edward shot me the odd reassuring glance  to let me know everything was okay, thankfully.

Charlie spent the majority of the conversation with his hand wrapped tightly around his Rainier beer, his knuckles turning whiter than mine. A few beads of sweat drizzled down his face, and his chest heaved up and down as his heart rate sped up.

Once we finished talking, we asked him if we could step outside in the back yard, while the sun was still shining, to show him how our skin glistens. He said he’d “rather not.”

Typical.

We went outside anyway, though. His curiosity got the best of him, and he followed us. I was wearing a loose fitting, short–sleeved peach colored dress, cut just below my knee. As soon as I stepped out into the sun, Charlie’s eyes lit up and his face had so many inexplicable expressions.

I was petrified.

Again, Edwards mind–reading would have come in handy for me. I didn’t know if Charlie thought it was beautiful, or completely horrific. Then, he said it, he answered my question as though he could read my mind. “Bells, you’ve always been my beautiful little girl. This though, this is angelic. You… you’re gorgeous.”

Finally, relief.

Then Charlie collapsed.

Edward was on the phone to Carlisle, seemingly before Charlie even hit the ground. Later Edward explained he heard Charlie say he was feeling “extremely light–headed” in his thoughts.

I was extremely worried about Charlie, but I was more upset over the fact that I couldn’t do anything for him. I couldn’t risk getting that close to him. I still don’t know my own strength.

One wrong move, and I could kill Charlie.That thought scared me more than anything.

Edward and I hadn’t been hunting in a while, either. My throat felt like sandpaper that had been lit on fire. I knew I had control, for the most part, but I didn’t want to risk anything.

Luckily Carlisle arrived very shortly after Edward had called. Charlie was slipping in-and-out of consciousness the whole time, saying things that didn’t make sense. Carlisle worked his magic and had Charlie back in the house, in his bed, sipping some sort of fluid that had electrolytes in it.

For obvious reasons, I decided to hold off on telling Charlie about Nessie. One thing at a time. Before we left, though, we explained to Charlie that he couldn’t tell a soul. And, I gave him a brief description of the Volturi. He was half–listening to me and half glancing quickly from Edward to Nessie and back to me in disbelief. I told him to rest and figured I would tell him the rest once he recovered from the shock of everything.

I kissed him on the head, then left.

Carlisle stayed behind for a few hours to watch over Charlie, even though Charlie claimed to be “just fine.” Though all of this was very dramatic, the real drama didn’t start until Edward, Nessie and I returned to the Cullen house. I have a few things I need to take care of right now, but I will write again soon and let you know exactly what happened once we got back from out visit with Charlie.

-Bella

Dear Diary (No More Lies)

I have to tell him.

At some point, I know he will find out anyway. And, after seeing Jacob literally burst into wolf form right before his eyes, I don’t think it should surprise him – too much.

Charlie needs to know.

He needs to know the whole story, he needs to know what I am. I can’t keep coming up with excuses about my appearance, Nessie’s extremely fast mental and physical growth rate, and my cold, stone body. I can’t keep coming up with excuses as to why I can never be out in public on the rare sunny day we have here in Forks. Most importantly, even though he’s asked to remain uninformed, I can’ keep lying to Charlie.

Edward said he would come with me. I know I’ll need support on this one. I’m going to bring Renesmee, too. He needs to understand what she is.
I never thought the day would come, where I’d have to sit my Father down and explain to him that I’m his vampire daughter. The worst part, though, will be explaining how I ended up like this. I can’t say how Charlie will react to the fact that Edward was the one who turned me, under necessairy circumstances, of course.

Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny during the afternoon. I plan to tell Charlie then. I want to bring him into the backyard and step into the sun, so he can understand fully what I am. It was important for me to wait until his heart was fully recovered before I told him. And now he’s “healthy as a horse,” as he likes to say. Although, after tomorrow, I’m not so sure how good his heart will be. I will definitely have to make sure he’s sitting down… and that he’s had a few Rainier beers into him, too.

I will write again soon and let you know how he took it. I’m hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst.

Write again soon.

-Bella Cullen

Dear Diary (Be Safe)

“There was a piece of white paper folded on my seat. I got in and closed the door before I unfolded it. Two words were written in his elegant script.”

‘Be Safe.’

I was visiting with Charlie today. This time alone. I figured that, since Sue wouldn’t be there today, we could spend some one-on-one time together, alone. I no longer worry about being alone around humans, either. Especially not my family. I could never hurt Charlie. Somehow, his scent isn’t the most appealing to me, anyway. Needless to say, though, I did go hunting with Edward yesterday as a precautionary measure.

Charlie is doing quite well now. He’s walking around, smiling and even cooking for himself. Sue left a few simple recipes on his fridge. She knows how easily he can lose his way around the kitchen.

My visit seemed extremely brief, to me. Though, in reality I stayed with Charlie for about three hours. Time really does go by expeditiously when you have all the time in the world. Literally, all the time in the world. I vaguely remember that, as a human, time would seem to crawl by; it almost seemed as though it were moving backwards some days. Those were usually the days I was looking forward to seeing Edward at school the next day, though. Time couldn’t go by fast enough when I knew I would be seeing his angelic face.

Before I left Charlie’s house, I went upstairs to the bedroom that was mine when I lived in that house. For some reason, a surge or unexplained energy came over me and, all alone in my old room, I couldn’t help but smile.

I carefully sat down on my bed and ran my fingers over the purple comforter that was neatly draped over the mattress. I looked around the room, slowly, taking everything in. I had never noticed the room badly needed a new paint job until now, of course. My old computer sat there on the work table I used to sit at, where I’d either study or compose emails for Renee – to keep her informed on my life in Forks. This usually consisted of me trying to make her believe I didn’t mind it here, though at the time I very much disliked Forks. I loathed Forks.

After sitting for a minute on my old bed, and taking in my old human scents, I decided to go into my closet to see what kind of memories I could dig up from in there. Not surprisingly, I found a shoebox that was full of things which had sentimental value to me. I had always been a bit of a hoarder.

Once I opened the box, nothing seemed familiar. My human memories were rather vague in that moment, and I couldn’t piece together who or what most of the items in the box came from. Trying to remember why I had a brown shoelace – with 3 knots tied in it –  stashed away in the shoe box was an impossibility.

Before I closed the shoe box, which was almost falling apart, I shifted everything on top over to the side in an attempt to steal a quick glimpse of what was in the very bottom of the box, still trying to recognize something, anything.

Folded, in the very bottom of the box, was a white piece of paper. My curiosity got the best of me and I snatched it up in one swift movement, then unfolded it quickly, though carefully. On the piece of paper read two words:

“Be Safe.”

For a moment I didn’t know why tears weren’t pouring down my face already. You’re a vampire now, an immortal, you don’t tear up, I told myself as I unnecessarily inhaled a large gulp of air. Inside, though, I was overwhelmed with numerous inexplicable emotions.

I remembered the day Edward left that sweet note in my truck. Alice had brought my truck to school for me because Edward was my ride that day, but he had to leave in the afternoon to go hunting because he was planning on taking me to the meadow; he was going to reveal himself to me the next day.

He wanted to make sure he hunted before being alone with me in the middle of the meadow.
I remember, though a fragile human, feeling so safe with Edward. I remember his note making me feel like someone would always be watching out for me. And, I remember how it felt to love him, as a human. Funny thing is, I always felt safer, stronger and almost invincible compared to other humans once Edward was in my life. It’s now scary to think of how unaware I was of my state of fragility. How unaware I was of his strength, what he was capable of.

Still crouched on the floor in my old bedroom, I closed the shoe box and kept the white paper in my hand. Almost instinctively, I brought the paper to my nose and breathed in the scent. I could smell Edward on it. Though only slight, it was enough to make a smile creep up on my face before I even noticed.

My smile quickly retracted once I began to remember how excited I would get when Edward would come through my window in the middle of the night to watch me sleep, or how each touch was an epic occurrence that would make my heart seem as though I were wearing it on the outside of my body. I remembered how he would be there waiting for me before school in the mornings, with that beautiful grin of his, as excited to see me as I was to see him. And, though extremely vague, I remember the first time his lips pressed against mine. So smooth, so hard, so sweet smelling. Again, I had to remind myself that vampires don’t tear up as the vague memories of my human life revisited me.

There are a lot of things I do miss about being in a relationship with Edward as a human. From what I recall, I got a rush from the danger and unpredictability of our relationship. I loved how gentle he had to be with me, though at the time it could get frustrating. Most of all, I miss the way the blood would rush into my cheeks when he gazed into my eyes, and my heart would pound once he spoke. These things are so foreign to me now. I will never feel my heart race again, or feel the warmth overcome my face from embarrassment.

I miss it.

In return, though, I got so much more. I gained a spot in the only world I know, a world with Edward. I always remind myself of that. I get an eternity with the very boy who made my heart race. I got to have a beautiful daughter with Edward. I get to be intimate with him, anytime I want. It was all definitely worth it.

I placed the paper in the chest pocket of the shirt I was wearing, shoved the box back into the closet, took one last look around at my room, then flew down the stairs to say goodbye to Charlie. It was getting late and I wanted him to get some rest. I also wanted to get back home, to hold Edward in my arms as tightly as possible. I missed him, more than I had in a long time. I felt the need to be in his arms for some reason. Finding the sweet note he had written me made me fall even deeper in love with him.

I didn’t know how deeply I could possibly fall, but I kept on falling.

For now, I’m going to go up to the Cullen house for a bit with Nessie, Edward and Jacob. Esme and Rosalie would like to spend some time with Renesmee.

I’ll write again soon, as I always do.

-Bella Cullen

Dear Diary (Moody)

Emmett and Rosalie enjoyed their hunt with Baylor today. They all seem to get along great. Emmett loves the early spring, when the bears are coming out of hibernation and are more irritable than ever. Though not a challenge for him, Emmett likes to hunt grizzly when they’re more vicious, moody.

Once they were finished hunting, they all came back to the Cullen house, where I was, along with Renesmee, Edward and Jacob. I was a little hesitant about Baylor meeting Jacob, but – aside from one small ‘bloodsucker’ comment under his breath – Jacob was relatively welcoming. Well, as welcoming as Jacob could be after finding out there was yet one more vampire residing in Forks now.

To my surprise, Baylor was extremely comfortable around Jacob, aside from his nose crinkling once or twice. We can’t help being repulsed by the smell of werewolves; similar to how the werewolves find our smell pungent.

Although at first Jacob was unnecessarily protective of Nessie around Baylor, he did become more relaxed as they conversed. It was nice to see everyone getting along, though.
I have to admit, at first, I thought things would be really different with Baylor here, but really, it feels the same. He is almost like Edward’s replacement. Emmett likes to goof around with him a lot – they act like brothers already. The only issue between Emmett and Baylor is that Baylor loves grizzly, too. This could get competitive. Good thing Emmett likes a challenge.

Alice has already seen great things for Baylor. She had a vision of him finding love, even. For some reason this thought scares me – the thought of him potentially falling in love with a human. I wont worry about the future, though. For now, I want to enjoy each moment as it comes.I’ll leave the future to Alice to worry about.

Edward is a little bit moody today. Though he is trying to understand Jacob and Renesmee’s relationship, it’s still hard for him to watch Nessie grow closer and closer with Jacob. She is growing closer to Jacob than she is to Edward now, and naturally, this is making Edward become slightly unhinged. We’re both aware of the fact that the unavoidable is going to happen, eventually. Jacob will – one day soon – become Renesmee’s husband.

The funny thing is, I don’t think Edward would choose any other person in the world to take his daughter’s hand in marriage. It’s not Jacob that gets Edward upset. It’s just that he feels as though his daughter is slipping away, faster-and-faster as the days go on. Neither of us expected for her to grow up so fast. Her intelligence is astounding, her growth rate is shocking and her presence in our lives has been a blessing. Her presence will always be here, she will just be forever bonded with Jacob. Like Edward, I cannot think of another person who I would rather see my beautiful little angel with. I know Jacob will always keep her safe, keep her happy.

In order to ease Edward’s tension, I often remind him of the fact that Charlie had to watch me slip away from him and into Edward’s arms, indefinitely. Then, he had to deal with my suspicious, rather alarming appearance change.

“I know, Bella. You’re right. It’s just a different feeling from anything I’ve felt before. I’ve never been… a Dad. It takes some getting used to.” Edward leaned in towards me, his breath dancing on my lips, and softly pressed those perfectly sculpted lips of his to mine. Though cold, I felt like I was on fire, as I always do around Edward. He has a way of igniting a flame inside of me; different, of course, from the scorching flame in my throat that flames up when I’m near human blood.

For now I’m going to go spend time with Nessie, Jacob and my love, Edward.

Will write again soon.

-Bella

Dear Diary (Getting Acquainted)

I had a chance to spend some one–on–one time with Baylor. Edward also had his chance. Not surprisingly, Edward and I have different opinions about him. Maybe it’s my eternal optimism, but I really like Baylor. He seems genuine, interestingly complex, and quite gentle.

Edward questions his motives, of course. When Edward is unable to read someone’s thoughts, he becomes intrigued, yet annoyed. He isn’t used to having to work to understand people. It’s not that Edward thinks Baylor is bad, he is just being cautious.

When Baylor and I spent time together, he told me all about his mother, about how he was turned and the human memories he manages to recall from his past. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I already knew about his mother and how he was turned – from Edward, through Carlisle’s thoughts – so I listened to his story, again.

Baylor was very friendly, and seemed sincere. I told him my story, and of course couldn’t help but talk about Edward, my love. I even explained Renesmee to him. It took some convincing, but I think he finally understands. He had never heard of a half–human, half–vampire.

Now he has.

Nessie seems to like Baylor a lot, too. She showed him her thoughts. They were of her and Jacob, of course. This brought up some questions that I wasn’t ready to answer.

“Who is this boy she’s showing me, Bella?” Baylor asked, intrigued.

Great.

I wasn’t quite sure how to get him to understand this part. I began to tell him about the Volturi, and their attempt to attack us, and kill Nessie. From there, I explained that, prior to me becoming a vampire, I had a good friend who I loved dearly, named Jacob. I explained how Jacob helped me when Edward left, then just came out with it.

I sucked in a deep breath before I spoke, letting the words out with the air. “Jacob… is a wolf.”

Baylor’s expression was actually calm, almost knowing. One of his eyebrows raised out of interest, so I continued, feeling more confident this time. I explained to Baylor that Jacob has imprinted on Renesmee, and what that will entail. He asked a few questions, but didn’t seem shocked.

I thought about it for a moment, and realized that after everything he has been through, realistically, nothing should shock Baylor anymore. I mean, his mother got turned into a vampire, who then turned him into a vampire. Really, I think he’s used to this world of ‘mythical’ creatures.

I was really happy I had the chance to spend time with Baylor. He is part of our family now, after all. Emmett and Rosalie are going to take him hunting tomorrow, to get acquainted. Emmett should show him an interesting time. He has a way with opening people up and making them feel like family, almost instantly.

For tonight, Edward and I are going to be spending the night alone. Nessie is actually with Sue, at Charlie’s house. Sue said she thinks Nessie is contributing to Charlie’s healing process greatly, and wanted to have her there, to keep Charlie smiling. He adores Renesmee. So does Sue.

I’m off to spend all night long talking, laughing and cuddling with Edward. Sometimes I feel like so much is going on that we forget to take time for ourselves. He is my world, and I am so grateful to have found him. Everything between us still feels new and exciting. Edward does something everyday that makes me fall more in love with him. Right now, he’s looking at me with with the most mesmerizing look on his face. His eyes are a golden butterscotch and his grin is lovingly turned up on the right side. I’m going to go now, have some fun with my love. My life.

Write again soon.

-Bella

Dear Diary (Brother)

Charlie has been home for a couple of days now and his recovery has been smooth. Renesmee has been visiting with him often; she really knows how to bring a smile to his face.

He loves her.

The feeling in Charlie’s arm is coming back much faster than expected, and his infection is completely cleared up. He does, however, have to remain on antibiotics to ensure the infection doesn’t come back. Dr. Carlise’s orders.

I’m so proud of Charlie. I have never given him the credit he deserves for his incredible ability to overcome tribulations in life and walk away with a smile on his face.
For now, Sue is staying with Charlie every night. She cooks for him, and cleans. She has been an incredible help and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. They seem to get along really well too, and Charlie seems to always light up when she’s around.

Aside from watching over Charlie, something rather strange happened yesterday. When Edward, Nessie, Jacob and I were visiting with Carlisle and Esme, a man wandered to our door. He was a rather scruffy man, with good looks hidden under his ragged hair and dirty nails. His face was beautiful.

Porcelain.

His body was lean, yet very strong looking. We recognized immediately that he was one of us, he was a vampire. Carlisle had spoken intently with him in the lobby, while Edward listened to Carlisle’s thoughts. Oddly, he couldn’t hear the man, who calls himself Baylor.

Edward tried, focused… and nothing. Baylor was like me, Edward’s gift of reading minds didn’t work with him.

Regardless, Edward was able to see everything in Carlisle’s thoughts. Baylor came to the Cullen’s because he wanted to be a “vegetarian.” He told Carlise his story of how he was turned. Like me, he was turned for his protection. His story was truly astounding, even after everything I’ve encountered in my life.

Baylor’s Mother was turned one night after her shift at a local pub in Arbridge, a village in Essex, England. She was a single mother, working late most nights to make enough money to support her and Baylor. She was described by Baylor as ‘young and beautiful,’ and as he continued, he explained how many men were interested in her, but she did not want a relationship after going through so much affliction with her recent divorce.

There was a man, however, who watched her every night as she walked home on a small trail through the shallow forest. This man admired her from afar without her knowing.

The man was a vampire.

The night that Baylor’s Mother, Keira, was turned, the young vampire who turned her explained that he loved her and wanted there to be a way for him to have her. He constantly watched her from afar, never approaching, in fear of hurting her. In fear of killing her.

Once turned, she adjusted quickly to her new life as an immortal. This wasn’t the life she had asked for, nor the life she wanted – but it was the life she would have potentially been stuck with forever.

She did not love the vampire – who’s name was Aiden – who did this to her. As soon as she could, she left him… for good.

Extremely strong, and confused about her state of being, Keira made the decision to return to her son, Baylor. She had explained everything to him and promised to keep him protected, no matter what she had to do.

Baylor stayed with his grandparents for two years after his Mother had become a vampire. They had fabricated a story about how Keira could no longer take care of Baylor and had to get out of England to find a better paying job. At night, though, Keira would come into Baylor’s room to chat. They would laugh and they would tell each other stories.

Baylor and his Mother were extremely close before she was turned, and that bond never faded. Keira loved her only son more than anything, and he loved his mother in return with the same amount of ardor.

Baylor was just about to leave for university when the Volturi found out about him and his knowledge of our kind. Similar to my story, they ordered that he be turned, or they would have no choice but to kill him. Keira knew what her only option was; she was to save her son.

After Baylor was turned, sadly, it wasn’t long before his Mother was destroyed.

Aiden – the man who turned Keira, admired her – had come back for her, now that she was no longer a ‘new born,’ and no longer obtained the strength that came along with being a new vampire. He caught her while she was in the forest, on a hunt, and explained that he was overwhelmed with the guilt of taking her human life away for his own needs, his own wants. He also told her that he loved her too much to bare being in this world without her. After Aiden had destroyed Keira, he went to Baylor – knowing that he was a strong young vampire – and told him the story of what he had done to his Mother. Completely enraged, Baylor tore Aiden apart, then burned all the pieces.

This was exactly what Aiden wanted, too. That was the point of his visit with Baylor.

Now that Baylor is alone, without his family, without anyone, he wants to be part of the Cullen family. He explained that he has never tasted human blood before. His Mother only drank the blood of animals, and taught him to do the same once she turned him. Though it is a struggle most days still, Baylor believes he can find the guidance he needs from Carlisle.

Baylor wants a family more than anything right now. His life has been far from ideal, and he needs direction from someone loving and experienced. He had heard about the Cullens from his Mother, actually. She told him their story and mentioned that it would be a safe and exciting option for them if Carlisle would have them. Now all alone, Baylor was trying to do what him and his Mother had planned.

Carlisle told Baylor that as long as he could take the time to get to know each of the other family members, and as long as he was serious about being in a loving ‘vegetarian’ environment, that he would be more than welcome to join the Cullens.

Baylor thanked Carlisle profusely, and assured him that he would do whatever it took to be a part of the Cullen family.

One thing, however, that Carlisle forgot to mention, is that us Cullens are friends with the wolves. This is something that will come out soon enough, along with Nessie’s story.
For now, Baylor is taking turns getting to know us all. Other than a brief introduction, I haven’t spent any time with him… yet. As soon as I do, I will give you an update and let you know what I think of my new brother.

Baylor is going to be in the same position that Edward was in when everyone else in the house was paired up. He is the only one who doesn’t have a love.

For now.

That could change. Just like it did for Edward.

-Bella

Dear Diary (From Mother To Daughter)

Edward could see how much I’d been hurting over the past while over Charlie’s shooting. He could see every emotion flow through me, from confusion, to anger. He could also tell how hard I was trying to conceal those emotions, to keep them hidden from Nessie. I never want to make her worry.

Earlier today, Nessie showed Edward and I her thoughts. When she touched us we saw her, Charlie, Jacob, Edward and myself gathered in Charlie’s living room. Charlie looked healthy and happy. We were all laughing and having a good time. It was a simple thought, but it brought a smile to my face. To see Charlie back to his normal self, to see us all together like that, it felt good.

Edward was very grateful for the thought, too. When I hurt, he hurts. I wish it wasn’t like that. I wish he didn’t feel my pain, but that is all part of giving yourself to another person. I gave all of me to him and he gave all of himself to me.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Edward walk into the room with my old rocking chair. The one that used to sit in the corner of my bedroom at Charlie’s house.

It looked different.

He had the chair refinished, and the words, “From Mother To Daughter” carved into the back panel. It looked as if he used a machine to carve the words, but he had completely done the whole thing himself.

The writing was so perfect. So smooth. So… beautiful.

Edward didn’t take his eyes off me when he said, “From one angel, to another. I made this for you, Nessie. It was your Mother’s.”

My expression must have been animated, because Edward flashed that crooked grin at me and raised one eyebrow. He had a playful, yet curious expression on his face. I let him into my mind to show him how much this meant to me. He spoke again, in a voice that seemingly gets more musical with every word. “This chair brings back great memories of the nights I used to have to watch you in your sleep to get close to you, Bella. Though I am quite fine standing, I enjoyed sitting in this chair because it had your scent on it. I thought it would look great in Nessie’s room, and maybe –if Jacob can fit – he can sit in there and watch her, like I used to watch you.”

Nessie was already rocking in the chair, smiling and twisting her head back to examine the carved words on the back. She ran her little fingers over the words and smiled. This meant more to me than I could express. And, most importantly, it would hopefully distract Nessie from my roller coaster emotions for the time being.

I gave Edward three soft, slow kisses on his chin, then thanked him one more time before heading over to the hospital to visit with Charlie for the last time before he would be released.

Carlisle said Charlie’s infection was all cleared up, and his wounds were healing nicely. He had color back in his face, too. His arm was still a little bit numb from the bullet that hit him in the shoulder, but Carlisle said that, with time, the numbness would fade and he would regain full strength in that arm.

I will be picking Charlie up in the afternoon. I spent last night watching him sleep, and fighting the scorching hot knives that were stabbing my throat, or seemed to be. The scents that flow through the hospital are tortuous, but being by Charlie’s side was the most important thing to me. Besides, I always felt safe knowing I had Carlisle there to help me when temptation became too much.

I have to run now. Edward and I are going to go decorate Charlie’s house with a “Welcome Home” banner, balloons, cake and a new flat screen T.V. we bought for him. He will be resting up on the couch quite a bit, and his old flat screen wasn’t very big, plus it was becoming outdated. We want him to feel like he’s part of the baseball game when it’s on. I think he’s going to be happy.

Will write again soon.

-Bella Cullen.

Dear Diary (Update)

I couldn’t see straight when Carlisle told me that Charlie had flat lined.

He only flat lined for a quarter of a second before Carlisle was able to bring him back, though. Dr. Cullen works wonders. He is the most amazing doctor around, and I am truly so thankful for him.

The bad news? Charlie has an infection where the bullet was lodged. He is taking antibiotics and Carlisle is keeping a very close eye on him.

We all are.

I am so grateful for Sue, too. She has been with Charlie the entire time, never leaving his side. When she thought no one was watching, she would begin to lightly cry while holding his hand.

Charlie sleeps most of the day, in his hospital bed. He has to stay there until the infection clears up. It’s important for him to relax and for his infection to be monitored closely.

I’m so grateful that my Dad is still alive. If he only knew what I did to the people that did this to him. If he only knew what I was. I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell Charlie that I am his vampire daughter, and that Nessie is his half-vampire, half-human granddaughter. I’m a bad liar, always have been. I think if Charlie were to ever ask me about it, I would be honest. I know that no matter what, he would love me. Besides, Alice had a vision of him finding out in the near future. I know it’s forbidden, but Charlie wouldn’t ever reveal what he knew. Not if he knew it could hinder us in any way.

My Mother, Renee, went back to Phoenix this morning as soon as she found out that Charlie would be okay. She had obligations there, with Phil. During her visit, I avoided her as much as possible. I knew she would notice my changes. I knew she would question me.

And she did. “Bella, your face is somehow more pale than usual. And you look like you’ve been working out a lot. And what’s with your eyes?”

Oh boy.

I really began to appreciate Charlies ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ motto. Basically, I just told Renee that I’d been working out with Edward, and mentioned that we had bigger things – like Charlie – to worry about. She could tell I didn’t want to talk about myself during this tough time, and quickly let it go.

Thankfully.

Edward, Alice and I are due for a hunt soon. We’re going to go out tomorrow once Esme, Nessie and Jake come for their shift at the hospital. We’re all taking shifts, and pretending we have to go home to sleep. We have to try to remember to do human things, and fit in with normal human behavior.

Right now, though, I’m going to grab Nessie and Edward then head over to be with Charlie. Carlisle said his heart rate speeds up when he senses that I’m there. It makes him happy. I will keep you posted on Charlie’s progress, of course.

I have to run now. Edward is giving me that look that somehow instantly melts my granite-like body. The one that tells me he wants to kiss me really bad.

-Bella

Dear Diary (Anger)

I could not help it. I was so angry at those horrible punks for putting my Dad through this. Having to see him so lifeless, laying in his hospital bed, unable to do anything… it hurt me so much.

The bullet had shifted a little closer to Charlie’s heart, and Carlisle confronted me with an option. His option? To turn Charlie. Even though I don’t need to breathe, I somehow felt out of breath, so confused, so… angry. I couldn’t believe it had come to this.

I… killed the criminals.

I hate that word, and I am so mad at myself right now, disgusted by my lack of self-control.

After Carlisle told me that Charlie might not make it – unless we tuned him into a vampire – I started to feel numb. I somehow felt boiling hot, like my face was burning up… like my chest was on fire.

I lied to Edward and told him I had to leave the hospital for a while because the smell of fresh blood throughout the building was causing my throat to burn. It wasn’t, though. I was actually tolerating the sweet aroma very well.

I told Edward I was just going to go back to Charlie’s house to gather my thoughts and get away from all the human scents. Where I really went, though, was to find the criminals. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I never put much thought into it. I just knew I wanted revenge for what Charlie was going through.

We had finally gotten a description of the men from witnesses. One was short and thin with black wavy hair down to his shoulders. The other was medium height with a medium build and shaggy brown hair covered by a baseball cap. They were seen driving back in the direction of Seattle in a black older-make SUV, later found out to be a 2000 Cadillac Escalade.

I had the license plate number too, thanks to a very helpful witness. I was off to Seattle, looking for the criminals while a heated anger surged through my body. I drove around aimlessly in my now like-new 1953 Chevrolet pickup truck. I tried to talk myself out of it, but the more I tried, the more I wanted to find them and rip them apart. Even the classical music that swam softly through my trucks’ speakers couldn’t help clear my mind of the masochistic thoughts.

Finally I saw it, the black SUV, parked outside of what looked like an abandoned old locksmith store. The faded, almost deteriorated sign read ‘Emergency Locksmith Services Available,’ and it was half hanging off of its place just above the door that had a ‘Closed’ sign in it.

I got out of my truck and tried to stay calm, remembering how much harm I could cause now, so easily. After numerous attempts at tapping on the glass, I began to bang quite hard, almost cracking the glass. Finally, a short dark haired man approached. I clenched my jaw and rolled fists instinctively. As soon as he opened the door I pushed him out of the way, careful not to use too much force.

The man fell hard to the ground and yelled some obscenities at me. I didn’t really hear much of what he said; my anger overcame me before I knew what was happening, like I had never thought possible. The witness report stated that the other man with the shaggy hair and baseball cap was the one who shot Charlie.

He was the one I was after.

He was standing there, right in the middle of the abandoned room with a confused taking over his face. Probably wondering how someone so small had the power to knock over a grown man with one swipe of my arm.

I wasn’t concerned with what he was thinking, though. At that point, I just kept seeing Charlie’s weak, pale face. And I kept hearing Carlisle’s voice telling me that Charlie might die, or have to be turned if the bullet shifted anymore.

My throat burned, but I didn’t want their blood.

I couldn’t stand the thought of having a criminals blood inside of me. What I wanted was to make them pay.

“I believe you shot my father,” I hissed. “Wrong move.”

Before I even had a second to think, I was holding the medium-built man by the throat. All I could say was ‘you shot my father’… then with one swift movement, I tossed him into the wooden rafters. The short black-haired man tried to sneak up from behind me, but I turned and before I knew it I had him in my arms and was effortlessly tossing him into the glass door at the front of the building.

Both men were bleeding and my throat burned as though someone touched a hot curling-iron to the soft flesh. My body was stiff; I felt like I was made of concrete, so solid and almost-indestructible.

I sprung effortlessly from the ground up to the wooden rafter and grabbed the shaggy-haired man by his head, then began to snap it – once to the right, then to the left. It was so easy for me. I had never felt the full extent of my power until then. I had never been an angry young vampire until Charlie got shot.

Even when the Volturi came, I was angry, but unsure of their intentions – which kept me steady. This was different. Someone I love actually did get hurt.

The man fell lifeless through the rafters and thudded to the ground. The short man was bleeding in a mess of glass, yet still managing to yell, ‘Who are you? You can’t be a human.’ Then he said something that made me completely lose any small bit of control I had left. ‘Your father deserved what he got, you’re a monster. He created a monster. He deserved it. Cops are monsters too!’

I narrowed my gaze to him, then flew down onto him, tearing his limbs apart, fast and in a malicious manner. I couldn’t control myself. For the first time since becoming a new vampire, I lost control.

I killed two humans. Two feeble, fragile humans.

I burned their bodies before I left, and tossed the remnants under the floor boards. I sat in my truck for a few minutes and thought. I didn’t feel guilty for killing the humans who harmed my father. I felt guilty for lying to Edward, and for putting our family in harm. The Volturi shouldn’t find out it was one of us who killed the two men, but I worried that someone saw me. What if someone knew I was more than a human? That I wasn’t normal.

Before I knew it, a yellow Porsche whipped around the corner and Edward flew out of the passenger side, with Alice not far behind, flouncing from the drivers side.

Great.

Alice saw me in her vision and told Edward. It wasn’t hard to figure out.

Edward opened my door and hugged me. I was afraid he would be mad, but all he said was, “I love you Bella. You need to know that what you did doesn’t make you a monster.”

Edward is the meaning of unconditional love. He loves me, no conditions, no questions. I told him that I didn’t think I was a monster for killing the men who harmed Charlie, but for lying to him. He assured me that he understood.

He knew how angry I was.

He also told me he was thinking of finding them himself, but Carlisle had talked him out of it and said he would take care of it himself, like he did the man who tried to attack me in Port Angeles.

We drove back to the hospital where the rest of the family was, keeping Charlie company. Carlisle was working, keeping everyone updated on Charlie’s condition. They were getting ready to operate. Carlisle wanted to know, before he operated, if I would approve of having Charlie turned should something go wrong.

I told him no.

This isn’t the life Charlie would want. He wouldn’t understand it. The simple things in life made Charlie happy – like fishing, steak and cobbler from the diner, watching me grow up, baseball and beer. He wouldn’t understand this life. Plus, I want to know that if he does go, that he will be up there, watching over me. Hopefully reserving a spot for my soul, should I leave this earth one day.

I’m going to go now. I’m heading back to the hospital to spend the night with Charlie. Pretending to fall asleep. Trying to look human. I will update you all on Charlie’s progress.

Keep Well.

-Bella