Dear Diary (Deliberation)

April 2, 2009

Before I knew what was happening, Edward gave me a quick half–kiss on my forehead, then flew out the door and into his car. It didn’t even take me a second to figure out what he was doing. Edward was going after Baylor – to try to destroy him before he could make it to Volterra and tell the Volturi about Charlie’s understanding of what we are.

I couldn’t let him do this alone.

I couldn’t let anything happen to him because of me.

I was out the door within seconds after Edward, just making it into his car before he took off. Though he demanded I stay behind, I knew there was no way I could do that. Between the two of us, I am the newborn, and therefore the strongest, after all. I planned to use my shield, too, which Edward seemed to have forgotten about.

I noticed a yellow porsche behind us, weaving in-and-out of cars, trying to catch up with us. Alice was coming to help. It was relieving to know she would be with us. Her visions would be more than helpful.

Or so we thought.

As time went by, we realized, somehow, that Alice couldn’t see where Baylor was, only what he was doing. For instance, if Baylor was in Volterra, Alice would not be able to see that, but if he was hunting, running or boarding a plane, she could see that. Though Alice could see what Baylor was doing, there was zero indication as to where he was doing it. All she could see was Baylor, nothing else. This must have been part of Baylor’s block. The same one that prevented Edward from reading his mind.

Almost instantaneously, a frustrated, nearly lethal look took over Edward’s perfectly sculpted face. He became enraged. Not over the fact that I told Charlie and posed risk to our family, but because he believed that Baylor was sent to us, from the Volturi.

Edward believed Baylor’s entire story was fabricated, and that he was really a new vampire, turned by someone form the Volturi coven and sent to us to find a reason for the Volturi to Battle us, again. It was clear that the Volturi were still angry about being outnumbered during our last run in.

It all started to make sense. As a human, Baylor must have stood out to the Volturi somehow, which intrigued them. Once they turned him, and realized Aro couldn’t read his mind, they knew Edward would not be able to either, so they sent him to Forks to investigate and observe us; looking for some reason to come back to Forks and battle.

Once we got to the airport, Alice parked her car and glided swiftly into the back seat of Edward’s car. With a half grin, she handed us each something familiar-looking.

Our passports.

What would we do without Alice? Then, in her always optimistic-sounding voice, she made something clear to us. “We can’t destroy Baylor. If we do, the Volturi will know that we’re hiding something, which will bring them back to Forks. Even if they didn’t find out about Charlie knowing, they would want to try to destroy us for killing someone from their coven.”

Alice was right.

All hope of stopping the Volturi from finding out was diminishing, fast. We didn’t have much time. Another battle was about to ensue, and this time, they had the help of Baylor, a strong, ferocious newborn. We didn’t have anybody. I already knew there was no way I was asking anyone for help. This was completely my fault, and I would have to fight my own battle. Plus, I already knew Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper wouldn’t even consider helping me – not this time.

Alice couldn’t get a vision of where Baylor was, but she could see that he was hunting, a human. Baylor wasn’t really a “vegetarian,” either. While he was in Forks, he hunted only animals because of the Volturi’s orders. Of course they wouldn’t let him hunt humans, not here, while trying to make us believe he wanted to become a vegetarian.

We sat in the car for a few moments, deliberating, coming up came up with a few different options, but everything kept leading us back to destroying Baylor. Finally, Edward made the decision.

He decided to take the risk.

We would try to catch up to Baylor, and destroy him before he told the Volturi about Charlie. Our assumption was that once the Volturi discovered Baylor wasn’t coming back, they would either assume he ran away from their coven or that he was destroyed by a Nomad. And, if in the end they did suspect us, we would just have to battle it out.

At least if we catch Baylor – and destroy him – there would be a slightly smaller chance of a battle taking place, and most importantly, Charlie’s life wouldn’t be in jeopardy if Baylor never got the chance to tell the Volturi about his knowledge of what we really are.

In the meantime, Esme and Carlisle were watching over Charlie, just to be safe. I can’t – no, make that  I wont, let anything happen to him. I’ve asked Esme and Carlisle to not mention anything to Charlie. I don’t want him to be affected by this in anyway. I told Charlie about what I am so that I wouldn’t have to lie to him anymore. Now, I’m still lying, and I’ve posed a lot of risk to my entire family, Charlie included.

It seems like I am never going to stop causing problems for the Cullen’s.

No matter what I do, though, Edward is always by my side. He keeps telling me this isn’t my fault. He sees how much regret I feel from all of this. Edward believes that the Volturi would have found anything on us. Any excuse to battle us. If it wasn’t me telling Charlie, it would have been something else.

For now, I have to go. I plan to let you all know the final outcome as soon as everything has settled. My life is completely chaotic right now, but I will write another diary entry soon.

Stay safe everyone.



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Hey there! My name is Autumn and I wrote Bella's Diary. I'm also the website's owner/creator.
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