April 19, 2009
Rosalie and Renesmee went hunting together today, alone. It was hard to pry Nessie away from Jacob, but Rosalie . . . well, has a way with words. She can leave even Jacob speechless, sometimes.
Her love for Nessie is immeasurable, though. Rosalie can fill some of the void that plagues her existence by having Nessie around. The main reason Rosalie dislikes being immortal is because she will never be able to birth her own child, be a mother. For that, she has an excessive amount of resentment towards me.
I managed to enter this ceaseless life with a child. I managed to become an immortal, to live forever with the love of my life, Edward, and still have a child. She wasn’t so lucky. I get that, and that’s why it makes me happy to see Rosalie light up when she’s around Renesmee. Sometimes, though, I feel like it’s a tug of war between Jacob and Rosalie. The thing is, Rosalie will face disappointment again one day once Nessie reaches her full maturity, when she’s seven, like Nahuel,–the half-human, half-vampire that Alice found to prove to the Volturi that Renesmee wouldn’t hinder or harm our kind in any way.
Like Nahuel, Renesmee will look and think like a fully mature girl when she is just seven years old. Her mental and physical growth rate is vastly accelerated. If Renesmee chooses to marry Jacob once she reaches full maturity, that’s her choice. Of course, we’d be gone from Forks by that time, too. With Renesmee’s almost painfully obvious growth rate, we should think about leaving Forks soon. But that will be a whole other diary entry.
Right now, Rosalie is being quite obvious about her plan to prevent Nessie from marrying Jacob. She’s already expressed that she doesn’t believe it’s right, for a werewolf and half-vampire to spend the rest of their lives together. We are each other’s natural enemy. I get that. This is different, though. Jacob can’t help the fact that he has imprinted on Nessie. All he knows is that he needs her in his life for as long as he lives. He would do anything for her, too. But if Rosalie had it her way, Renesmee would marry a vampire, or another half-human, half-vampire.
As Renesmee grows, which is seemingly everyday, Rosalie is getting more and more possessive of her. She spends more time with her now than ever, and conveniently tries to take her away when she’s with Jacob. Edward read Rosalie’s thoughts, too. She’s been thinking a lot about Nahuel, and how he would be perfect for Nessie. She even asked Alice some questions about him the other day. She wants to find him again in a couple of years, when Nessie is more mature, and spend some time getting to know him. Like I said, her plan to keep Jacob from Marrying Renesmee is obvious.
The hard part is keeping Rosalie’s plot a secret from Jacob. Once he imprinted on Nessie, that automatically meant he would do everything in his power to be near her. Anything. If Jacob discovered Rosalie’s intention, he could quite possibly try to destroy her, to keep her from interfering with him and Renesmee.
Lately, Edward has been snapping at Rosalie, more than usual. He wants her to know he will do whatever it takes to ensure Nessie ends up with who she decides. All we want is for her to be happy.
Right now, she’s happiest when Jacob is around. Her cheeks plump up into a rosy blush, her smile doubles in size making her eyes sparkle, and when she touches her tiny hand to my cheek I can see that her thoughts are almost completely consumed by Jacob. She tells us, too. She talks mostly about Jacob, and is otherwise quite shy. I wonder where she got that from.
Most importantly, when Jacob isn’t around, she wishes he was. He wishes he was, too. His thoughts are exhaustively about Nessie. Edward used to constantly listen to Jacob’s thoughts, making sure he didn’t have any undesirable future intentions. Jacob’s thoughts are always pure, though. He genuinely just wants and needs to be with Renesmee. Edward and I both trust him–more than anyone.
For now, we’re going to keep a close eye on Rosalie to make sure she doesn’t succeed at keeping Nessie and Jacob apart. Nessie did come from Edward and I, though, so I can trust that once she’s matured, she’ll make her own decisions, like I did . . . no matter what they happen to be.
Will Write Again Soon