August 17, 2009
Renee’s visit was the biggest struggle Charlie has had to face since becoming a vampire. Even being trapped in the airplane on the way to Volterra with a bunch of blood-filled humans—when Nessie was kidnapped shortly after Charlie was turned—wasn’t half as much of a struggle for him. Renee’s scent is incredibly intoxicating to Charlie, so enticing.
With regular hunts and by keeping a safe distance from Renee, Charlie was able to control his thirst, thankfully. Edward and I stayed at Charlie’s house for the duration of Renee’s visit, too, just in case. Renee slept in what used to be my room. Edward and I pretended to sleep in the living room on the floor, while Charlie pretended to go to his room at night, but would sneak out the window to hunt, or go to the Cullen’s house. Edward and I would often take turns leaving, too, to check on Nessie. We know she’s safe with our family, but we miss her so easily.
Renee is an extremely light sleeper, which is something I had forgotten about. I do vaguely remember when I used to live with her she would sometimes wake up a few times throughout the night, either to get a glass a water, use the washroom or just turn the TV on in an attempt to make herself sleepy. She has an eccentric mind, and it keeps her up at night sometimes.
Charlie didn’t feel the need to wear his contacts in the middle of the night, when Renee would be sleeping. He can’t stand wearing them during the day, so the night was his time to be free from them. He had no problem putting them in, but it was annoying. Each pair seemed to dissolve at different times, too, leaving Charlie worried they would wear off before he noticed.
I heard Renee clumping her groggy body down the stairs and pretended to be in a deep sleep. Edward was beside me, his eyes shut tight, his body almost too still. I heard her rummaging through the cabinets, the ones she painted years ago, looking for a glass.
“There’s food stuck to this. Gross.” Renee sounded disgusted by Charlie’s glassware. Edward and I laughed softly, making sure we didn’t make any noise. I heard the tap running and her glass filling up, followed by a heavy gulping sound. She placed her glass in the sink, then made her way back upstairs. I jumped to my feet instantaneously when I heard Renee’s loud scream at the top of the stairs. A deep growl escaped from Edward, and in an instant we were by Renee’s side. Her eyes were wide, terrified.
“Charlie, what is wrong with your eyes? They’re blood red!” Renee’s eyes were wide with fear, erasing any signs of grogginess and she tried to take another step backwards, but was already pressed tightly against the wall. She looked as though she wished the wall would suck her in. Edward later confirmed that those were her thoughts, exactly.
I couldn’t tell if she was more afraid of Charlie’s eyes, or how fast Edward and I got to her. Her eyes darted between the three of us: vampires, all completely still, not breathing, crouched in a very inhuman position and our lips pulled over our top teeth.
One look at Charlie and I could tell his throat was in more pain than ever before. I knew he wouldn’t be able to explain his eyes to Renee, he could hardly look at her. I tried to pull Charlie out of this one. “Dad, go take those contacts out. You look scary, and why are you up anyways? Go to bed.”
I forcibly grabbed Charlie’s forearm and pulled him into his room. We quickly placed a pair of the dark brown contact lenses in his eyes and returned to the hallway, where Renee was still wishing the plaster on the wall would turn to putty and drag her in.
“See Mom, he just had contacts in. During a routine eye exam, Charlie was told her needed reading glasses.” I hesitated, trying to think of a solid story. Renee wouldn’t believe just anything. “The Forks Police Department requires you to wear glasses or contacts if your vision isn’t pretty much perfect, and the guys on the force gave him the red contacts as a gag gift when they found out he needed glasses.”
I have gotten much better at this lying thing. I guess I haven’t had much of a choice, though. Charlie hasn’t even been with the Forks Police Department since he got shot, but we made Renee believe he was just off for the weekend, for her visit. More lies. More guilt.
To my surprise, Charlie took the story home, answering any questions Renee would probably have. “Well, I ran out of my prescription lenses and couldn’t sleep—so I was going to read the new issue of ‘Ultimate Fishing.’ I could hardly read a word, and wanted to see if the red lenses would help at all. They didn’t, so I was going to head to the washroom to take them out and go back to bed.” Charlie’s voice sounded factual. He finished with an apology. “Sorry I scared you Renee. Didn’t mean to.” He grinned, and Renee’s eyes lit up. Edward’s lips curled up in disgust. Charlie’s beautiful grin made Renee remember things about Charlie that Edward didn’t want to hear.
Renee went back to bed, and Charlie went back into his room. Edward and I went back to the floor in the living room. I could tell that Edward had something on his mind. His eyes were focused on the ceiling and his eyebrows were pulled in closer to his eyes. It took a minute, but I finally got him to talk.
“Bella, Renee is thinking a lot about divorcing Phil. She’s not happy anymore. She’s tired. It seems as though she can’t keep up with his young lifestyle anymore. What’s interesting, though, is that she seems to be missing Charlie . . . a lot. She’s hopelessly attracted to him, I’m certain of that.”
Edward looked confused. He was confused by life. The one’s you love the most always seem to reappear when it’s too late. Charlie and Renee couldn’t be together again no matter how badly both of them wanted it. Charlie would kill her. He doesn’t have the years of discipline behind him that Edward had before falling in love with the human version of myself.
Edward began to think of how close he came to losing me. He turned his gaze from the ceiling onto me. “Bella . . . do you know how lucky I am that I wasn’t too late? It seems as though in life, second chances are sparse. But I got my second chance. I don’t think Renee will get hers, though.” He looked away, his face looked sad and somewhat frustrated by human nature.
I reassured Edward that I would have given him a million chances. Obviously my love for him is unconditional. Renee’s love for Charlie wasn’t unconditional from the start. She can get a divorce but, although Charlie loves Renee, he knows her love for him was never strong, it was never unconditional. Of course, that won’t stop Renee from trying. She’s already scheduled for another visit. She wants as much space from Phil as possible right now.
I’ll update you all on her next visit. We are all hoping this will be the last trip she plans to take to Forks for a while. We’ve had to put off our move, and Carlisle is getting impatient. People are getting suspicious and we need to leave.
On a happier note, Edward and I celebrated our wedding anniversary a few days ago (August 13th). I had one of the best times of my life, and although I asked him not to, Edward spoiled me more than ever before. Stay tuned for my next diary entry, and I’ll tell you all what we got up to for our anniversary!
EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ here!