mydarrling


Making Peace

May 31, 2010


Dear Diary,

Bells really did come through for me. Well, as much as she could, anyway. Bella is very stubborn, but I’ve recently learned that so is Edward; on the subject of his daughter. Not that I wouldn’t be.

I slept easily that night, knowing that everything was almost at peace. Besides Edward hating the fact I imprinted on his daughter, that is. I mean, he can read my damn mind, can he not see that I love her? Or the fact that I would never hurt her. I know it sounds corny, but she completes me. I know that sounds like it would come off of a Hallmark card, but really. That’s pretty much the definition of the word imprint for us. Our soul mate. Nessie happens to be mine, and I want Edward to open his freaking eyes and see that.

When I went to the Cullens’ house today, I didn’t run into any of them, but I found Bella outside. She was playing around with this thing that you download books onto. She’s such a geek.

“Hey, Bells.” I said, easily taking a seat on one of their patio chairs.

“Hello, Jake. How are you? Did you heal up okay?” She asked, her brow slightly furrowing. I nodded.

“Yeah, it’s all better. How’s…Edward?” I whispered his name, wondering where he was. I wasn’t scared of him, but I wanted to ask Bella what happened after he left, without him overhearing. She rolled her eyes.

“He’s teaching Renesmee some song on the piano.” She told me. I breathed a quiet sigh.

“What’d he say?” I asked cautiously. She sighed.

“Well, of course he’s not happy about it, Jake.” She said.

“Duh, Bella. But…is he…okay with it?” I questioned. She thought for a moment, before nodding slowly.

“Yes, I guess you can say that. He doesn’t hate you right now. It’s been reduced to highly disliking you.” She stated.

“Like that’s new.” I muttered. She looked at me with sympathy.

“He’s going to let you have a relationship with her, but he needs time to adjust. I would advise to take it slow with her.” I sighed.

“Bells, you really think I wouldn’t? She’s practically only fifteen. I mean, really?” I asked, appalled.

“Don’t get mad. I know you wouldn’t do that. I was just saying.” She shrugged. I grimaced, and leaned back in the chair.

“Jake!” I heard a squeal, that sounded like a peal of bells. I glanced up, and saw Ness tackle me. I laughed, and wrapped my arms lightly around her for a second, and watched Edward walk outside stiffly, nodding in my direction. I nodded back, and he sat beside Bella; glaring at the ground. I let Ness move to a chair beside me, trying to make it more comfortable for Edward.

Edward, you know by now how much she means to me. I thought. Well, I screamed mentally. Edward winced, but then nodded.

Then why are you acting so upset? I thought, not so loudly. He shrugged.

“She’s almost everything to me.” I heard a soft whisper leave his mouth. I frowned, and willed him with my mind to look up.

“You don’t think I know this?” I asked him. He shrugged, and Bella got up, grabbing Nessie’s hand.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s go.” Bella said. Ness tried to protest, but Bella gave her stern a look. Ness stomped after Bella inside, and I turned my attention to Edward.

“Edward, I know you can read my thoughts, but I don’t think you get it. Nessie is my imprint. That means no matter what, I want her happy, healthy, and loved. I would do anything in my power to keep her safe, and protect her. She is the center of my universe, the only thing that truly matters to me. I love her with all of my being, and I would die for her. She is my one true love, or I guess you could say soul mate.” I said, without tripping over one word. Edward stared at me unwavering, and I stared back.

“I know, Jacob. But she is my little girl.” He whispered. I cleared my throat.

“I might not have kids, but I see that it is hard to let your child grow up. I know this is hard for you, but it had to happen sooner or later. Besides, she’s not completely grow up. She’s still your little girl, and I am positive she always will be.” I said, my voice clear, and strong. Edward sighed, and laid his head in his hands.

“It’s too hard for me too let go.” He murmured.

“Edward, I’m not asking for you to let go. You never have to let go. Just…loosen your hold a bit, and let her have room to grow.” I said. Edward looked at me through bleary eyes.

“You’re really thinking philosophically today, aren’t you?” he asked. I thought for a moment.

“No, I’m just saying what needs to be said.” I told him. Edward nodded.

“I never have actually hated you…I just hated the situations at the time. You’re actually a nice acquaintance.” He said. I rolled my eyes.

“Just say the word friend. And…ditto.” I answered. Edward chuckled, and it sounded slightly…relieved?

“Yes, Jacob. I feel relieved. I am relieved to have everything put behind us.” He said. I smiled.

“I’m glad too, Eddie.” I replied. He mock-glared at me.

“As long as you don’t call me ‘Eddie’.” He said, using finger quotations around the nickname. I laughed, and breathed deeply.

“Go on, Jacob. I know you’ve wanted to see her.” Edward said, gesturing to the door. I grinned, and made my way inside the house, and into the kitchen. It was vacant, which didn’t surprise me. With the only person who ate was Ness, it was rarely used. Esme knew better than to leave the fridge empty, though, and kept it fully stocked for my use. Esme rocked when it comes to food.

I grabbed a Coke, and some chips, and walked into the living room. Ness was in there with Bella, and they were watching some chick flick on the monstrous television that took up almost the whole wall. I sat at the end of the couch, and crunched on some chips, and gulped down some soda. Bella laughed at me, and excused her self, after giving me a knowing, but stern look. I rolled my eyes at her, and as soon as she left the room, Ness flashed over to my side, and cuddled into me.

“Mmm, I missed you.” She sighed. I smiled, my heart melting more and more as the seconds went by.

“I missed you too.” I whispered into her hair, smelling her pomegranate fragrance that I knew so well.

“Is my dad okay with…us?” She whispered. I grinned.

“He actually is.” I said. She turned to look at me, and smiled widely, her eyes sparkling. I lightly traced her jaw, and she leaned into me, softly touching my lips. This kiss was less rough, and erratic than our first. It was slow, and passionate, and I was glad that I was the one kissing her, instead of that tool. My skin tingled from wherever she touched, and I felt like I was slowly, melting into the sofa.

How in the hell did she get so good at kissing?

Pulling back for air, she gave me a wistful look, and kissed my nose.

“I love you.” She said breathlessly.

“I love you too, Renesmee.” She blushed, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

She caressed my cheek, and slowly turned around, so that she sat comfortably leaning against me.

Even now, writing this, my cheek is tingling from her touch, and my heart aches from being apart for the night.

That’s all for now. I’ll talk to you later,

-Jacob

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