June 6, 2010
I was feeling pure serenity as Jacob and I laid our bodies on the grass adjacent to the teeny pond near my house. We had kissed so many times that Jakey had to call it to a halt, on account of my father’s wishes. I wish I could touch and breathe in him more than was allowed.
Kissing made me feel passionate and loved. The way his lips always crushed into mine was a feeling like no other. Heck, a marching band could be playing five feet away, buzzing their tune into our ears and I wouldn’t see it. Wouldn’t be able to hear it either. And when he cupped my cheeks with those firm palms of his, I felt giddy and excited, like a child in a candy store.
I envied his beautiful brown eyes, that glistened under the radiant sun. He had said my eyes couldn’t compare to other girl’s eyes, and I knew he loved me and only me, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. I mean, just looking at his eight pack made me embarrassingly drool. Yeah, his freaking eight pack! I didn’t want him to know that his abs were in my perspective his main attraction because I didn’t want to be teased. Not that he ever would, but if he doesn’t know then I can save myself from embarrassment. I wonder what he found most attractive about me. What was there about me that I could compete with against him, a eight pack god?
Another thing that made my heart skip beats is when he calls me “honey.” It makes me feel special and wanted, like I was his honey. It was perfect because it wasn’t as gushy and mushy as “buttercup” or bare like “sweety.” That title was the perfect ingredient to make me blush hard.
I’m still deciding over whether it embarrasses me or not to do that, blush in front of him. But I figure, it’s my way of saying I enjoy being with him, it really does show my affection. Every time he calls me “beautiful” I really feel it inside, but in order to cease the blushing and mushy feeling I always hesitantly deny his compliment. I really do adore him calling me beautiful, and do believe it, not vainly though.
“Can you keep a secret?” I asked, knowing very well he would. He nodded, staring into my so called “unique milk chocolate brown” eyes.
“Well I don’t really like my piano lessons. It has nothing to do with my father, it’s just the lessons itself. The piano. The sheet music. I know the best music doesn’t come from Mozart.” Jakey seemed quite shocked when I revealed the truth to him. He was accustomed to me being “daddy’s little girl” and following his footsteps.
“Well Ness, I think maybe you should tell your father this lightly…I mean it might be hard for him to accept.”
“I’m not sure how he’ll take it. He might be disappointed, but he might also be ok with it. I mean if he wants what’s best for me then he should let me do what I want to do…..”
“Which is . . . ?” Jacob asked, curiously urging me to splurge all.
“I enjoy my time playing the acoustic guitar. Piano is ok, but it’s just not my tune, not my melody, not my rhythm of choice.”
Jacob just nodded as if understanding the situation in which he had never encountered before. He twined his strong hands into my slender ones.
“Do you know how to play the guitar?” He twirled my curls.
“Well no. In fact, I’ve never held a guitar before, but I’m eager and totally committed to learning. I was thinking of teaching myself. Or maybe my dad could, I mean he does know how to do everything, that is if he likes the idea of not teaching me to play the piano.”
“Hmm . . . I think you could do it, teach yourself how to play that is. A girl with your intelligence can do anything. You have passion Ness, I see it.”
I brushed his cheeks as if in need of support and encouragement to finish my revelation speech.
“I guess I inherit his musical talent and ability, just not in the piano field.”
“Renesmee,” He never called me by my full first name unless he had something important to say, that I’d known ever since I could speak.
“You should tell your father at your next piano session. I don’t want you to suffer in boredom your father encourages you to participate in,” I rolled my eyes, trying not to laugh.
“I solemnly swear on my mother’s . . . oops.” We both chuckled, somewhat guilty, but it was nice to laugh.
“I’ll tell my father tomorrow at my next, and hopefully last piano lesson, I promise.”
And with those last words said by the pond, he kissed me one last time for the night. I relished in the kiss, as I wouldn’t get one until the next day.
Jacob has to eat his dinner now, but I promise to write back soon and tell you all about my yearning for playing the guitar confession to Edward.
With love (always),