Internal Battles

June 26, 2010

Dear Diary,

Apart from me giving Demetri glares from behind his back, I try my best to be nice, for Ness’s sake. Carlisle was so happy that Demetri has stuck to his new diet for three weeks now, and everyone has started trusting him more.

I still don’t though, mostly because he seems to spend most of his time with Nessie. I know it seems possessive but I still don’t like him. When he looks at her, it seems as though he is fighting an internal battle with himself. I try my best to cut in whenever they are around each other, but I still have to patrol, and lately it’s been harder to considering Kim and Jared’s wedding is tomorrow. And with Demetri living there, it’s not like I completely make sure they never see each other.

It seems as though I’ll never catch a break.

Earlier today, Ness was watching the football game with Emmett, and I sat down beside her easily. I had patrolled for five hours, and had to patrol again in two hours, so I was very thankful for the Cullens’ soft leather couches, there waiting for me to lounge on.

I felt Ness’s small hand cover mine as I leaned my head back and let out a loud sigh.

“Are you tired?” Ness asked, rubbing circles in my palm. I nodded.

“Yeah, I can’t wait for Kim and Jared to get married and get this freaking wedding crap over with. Double patrols suck.” I told her, and she leaned her head against my shoulder. I rested my eyes, and was almost completely relaxed when Emmett bellowed something about one of the teams cheating. I groaned, and Nessie giggled.

“Em, try to yell a little softer.” She said, and Emmett rolled his eyes, and turned his gaze back to the television intensely.

Ness started kissing my neck, and it intoxicated me enough to forget my surroundings. I buried my hands into her hair, and she kissed up my jaw to my lips, and I caught her lips with mine, and felt the familiar tingle run through me.

Ness bit my bottom lip, and I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up, and there was no surprise to who it was.

Demetri smiled sheepishly, and looked at Ness.

“You asked to see my book collection the other day, and I was wondering if you would like to now.” He said glancing nervously between us.

Ness smiled, and nodded, before getting up. She adjusted her shirt, and followed him up the stairs. She gave me an excited look, before leaving me to sit there, dumbfounded.

Nessie shared a love for books and literature, just like her mother, so it was logical for her to agree right? Why the hell did he have to interrupt then? Could he have not waited? I’m tired, and was aching to be around Ness as much as I can before my next patrol, but no, he had to whisk her away to look at books. Books. I sighed, and leaned back on the couch. Emmett was still sitting at the other end, completely unaware that anything just happened. Feeling frustrated and hurt, I walked into the kitchen, ready to stuff my face. Esme stood in there, wiping down the counter, and I grinned at her while getting a leftover turkey leg out of the fridge.

“Hello, Jacob. How are you?” She asked, smiling. I know I’m supposed to dislike all vampires, there is no way in hell I could ever dislike Esme. She was the best cook ever.

Tired.” I muttered, and chomped down on my turkey leg. She nodded sympathetically.

“Yes, with all the wedding plans making you patrol doubles, must make you tired. I was going to make you some pre-made meals so you can heat them up to allow you more time to rest, and less time cooking.” She said, and I walked over to hug her softly. Her sickly sweet smell invaded my nose but I couldn’t help but like it that her cold arms patted my back maternally. Ever since my mom died, this was the first person to try to take care of me like a mother would, and I was glad to have her. Even if vampires are my natural enemy, I have really bonded with everyone in this family. It’s like their my extended family, and it’s nice, considering the only family I have is my dad, and my sisters. I see Rachael since she lives with Paul ten minutes away, but I never see Rebecca who still lives in Hawaii with her surfer dude husband.

I thanked her and left the kitchen with my turkey leg, realizing patrol was in twenty minutes. Nessie wasn’t back yet, so I went up to Demetri’s room to tell her goodbye.

When I opened his door softly, she was staring at a book in her hands with a look of wonder, while Demetri stood a couple of feet away from her, waiting for her reaction.

“This is an original copy of ‘Jane Eyre’?” She asked, and when he nodded, she squealed. I watched her run and hug him tightly, thanking him over and over again.

This time, I was the one to clear my throat. Nessie and Demetri both looked over at me. Ness extracted herself from Demetri’s embrace, grinned widely at me.

“Jake! Demetri gave me an original copy of ‘Jane Eyre’! Is that not amazing?” She exclaimed, and I nodded stiffly. She squealed again, and hugged him again. Demetri smiled, and it was all I had left not to claw his throat out. He snaked his pale arm around her waist, and I had to muffle the monstrous growl threatening to come out.

“Well, I’m gonna leave now, I have to patrol again.” I said, and Ness frowned at me.

“Again? Hmm. Okay, well I’ll see you tomorrow before the wedding?” She asked, and I nodded. She walked over to me, and hugged me tightly, fitting perfectly in my arms. She pulled back a bit to kiss me, and lingered her lips there for a few more moments before pulling back with a small smile on her face.

“Goodbye.” She whispered, and I kissed her forehead. I looked over her head, and saw Demetri busying himself with a box of books, and I watched him for a minute. Demetri finally looked up; he must’ve felt my gaze boring into his back.

“Bye, Demetri.” I said lowly, and he nodded at me with acknowledgement before turning back to his books. Giving Ness a chaste kiss, I walked out of Demetri’s room, restraining myself from taking Ness with me. I hate that she is in the same room as him, let alone his room. Even if Edward can read thoughts, I’ve heard you can keep him from hearing certain things, and I still am weary to Demetri’s intentions. Grinding my teeth, I jogged the short distance home. I drank half of a two liter of root beer, and spent the remainder of my time telling this diary everything about my day.

Kim and Jared’s wedding is tomorrow, and I’ll update you on it afterwards. Talk to you later,

- Jacob

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