July 16, 2010
With all this time I was spending with Jacob I missed my mom. I couldn’t ignore her, after all she was my mom who raised me. I also found that I couldn’t ignore the feeling that we haven’t been bonding enough. I really wanted my mother to know from me that I was missing her presence, not from my father who with no doubt was reading my thoughts now. I had nothing to do today, and I hoped that remained the same for my mom’s schedule. Jacob was patrolling most of the day and it was my father’s turn to hunt.
So I faintly tip-toed down the stairs to the living room, not wishing to disturb the peacefullness of the silence my mom fostered up reading her book. Even with my attempt, I knew she could hear me. And so could the others in the house.
She gazed her attention to me when I was near with a warm smile plastered on her face.
“Is something wrong, Nessie?” Her face formed a worried crease.
“No, momma. I just thought today would be a great day to…do something!” I responded with as much excitement I could. Would my mother really want to turn me down?
I had no idea what to do with her anyway. I don’t think we could do a spa sort of thing or paint fingernails. My mom wasn’t into shopping either. And if we were going to do something together, we both had to like it. I considered a movie, but that was too bland. And now I think I was over thinking this because my mom didn’t even agree to do anything, yet.
“Of course we can. What do you want do?” She shut her book closed, awaiting my reply. I still had no idea, but at least she was willing to spend time.
When I was little my mom just cuddled with me and played like you would with a child, but now I was older. What could we do that we both liked? There was reading, but my mom was just doing that now.
“To be honest I have no clue.” And I shrugged, helplessly, somewhat embarrassed that I made an invitation without an objective.
“Let’s take a walk, then.” My mom offered. I was very grateful because a walk was exactly what I needed. My mom and I could talk, perhaps learn new things about each other in fresh air.
“So, what career is it that you wanted to pursue? When you were a student, I meant.” I was trying to avoid the word “human” in case anything negative would come up from that word, so I used “student” instead.
“I don’t think I actually know or remember….” She pursed her lips, trying to remember her human days.
“Well definitely not a doctor or a nurse for sure, didn’t you mention once that blood made you sick?”
“No, it was your father actually who noted that once, but your right, the medical field was and is certainly not fit for me,” She glared at me as is remembering something I wouldn’t understand.
“I always shied away from blood until I was pregnant with you, you know. I had to consume what you needed…and desired. And that was blood. So instead of craving things normal mothers craved like unhealthy foods, I craved and needed blood to sustain me. I didn’t like the idea of drinking blood at first, but when I needed it, I forgot about my grudge against it.” I wasn’t sure whether I should be ashamed that I made my mother drink something that had made her sick, or proud. I mean, didn’t drinking blood before becoming immortal train her? My mother didn’t seem to notice my distraught and said her explanation positively.
“So, how are your guitar lessons going so far?” She questioned, remembering my father’s bitterness on the subject.
“They’re going swell. Dad already taught me two songs, now; Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Miss Mary Mack. We’re progressing, well I am. I really enjoy spending my time with him and my guitar. I named her after you.” My mother’s eyebrows wrinkled into confusion.
“My guitar, I meant. I hear that musicians name their guitar, a connection thing. Only, my guitar’s name is your maiden name. I like the sound of Swan, so I kept it.” I grinned a crooked smile, a natural expression. I can form a regular smile, but I have to think about. And my mom shot a smile right back, but it wasn’t crooked like Daddy’s.
“Why don’t you have a crooked smile like Daddy’s?” I had to get to the bottom of this once and for all. The logical explanation was that I inherited from dad, but I just wanted to clarify it.
“Because I can’t. You carried on your father’s lovely crooked grin. I absolutely love that grin, and I wish I had it.” So I was right. I found that I inherited many of my father’s qualities than my mother’s. One could only see her chocolate brown eyes in me. Sure I had Grandpa Charlie’s curls, but that wasn’t my mom’s.
We had been walking for quite some time, but I wasn’t tired. I wanted to get into the groove of long hikes. According to Alice I have “model genes,” but I’d still like to spruce up my figure with some physical exercise. And I favored jogging, running, and hiking in the woods, but I had to be with a werewolf or vampire that my parents trusted at all times. It was just too dangerous for me to be on my own, even on trails near humans. Being indoors with a treadmill wasn’t going to cut it. The massive, titanic evergreens captured my interest and imagination. I loved the outdoors, the coldness of winter. The way snow melted on my nose and in my mouth. The way I always won snowball fights against Jacob. Well, I really liked the rain, any cold wet thing. Maybe it was the way I was raised, maybe it was just my personal preference. It didn’t matter.
One thing caught my eye as the sun crept its way out of the heavy, gray clouds. It was the reflection of my mother’s engagement ring, sparkling in the dead and severely wet covered forest. Of course my mother’s skin glittered too, but I was used to that. I never really took a good glance at the ring. It was simply beautiful. The way the tiny diamonds spotted the oval was simply gorgeous, like my mother.
Sure I’ve seen pictures of my mother as a human, courtesy of herself. She explained that she was using her parent’s graduation presents, a camera and an album. The pictures were held in an album that hid somewhere in the attic. And may I add my mother was a stunning human, nevertheless of what others might have to say.
“Renesmee,” She checked her watch.
“Are you getting hungry? It’s past noon…” She stared, waiting for my response.
I shook my head no. Ok, I was kind of lying because I was a little hungry. I could of pulled it off, except for the rumble in my stomach.
My mom chuckled and ushered me to the house, rushing to the kitchen.
“It’s alright mom, I can prepare my own food.” But she wouldn’t let me get up from the kitchen island stool.
She cooked something I’d never eaten before, a dijon mustard chicken sandwich. Which I must compliment was cooked miraculously compared to roasting a turkey in the oven for hours. Not one word was said as I chowed down on the dish. This was my way of complimenting the cook.
“You didn’t have to deny your hunger for me, Nessie.” She added with a chuckle. It was good that she wasn’t taking it the wrong way. I loathe lying to my mom, but I find I don’t spend much time with her. And what she said was true, in a way I was still spending time with her. But communication wasn’t flowing when I was eating.
Just then Alice popped up, flaunting a new Dolce and Gabbana dress, can you believe it?
“What do you think?” Alice frozed in a Heidi Klum pose.
“Nice,” My mother announced, almost in an artifical sense as if this didn’t meet her concern. (Which it didn’t).
“It’s fabulous, and very dashing!” I said to ease my mother’s “compliment.”
“Want to try on some new clothing I bought, Nessie?” Alice asked, hopping up and down, practically dancing with…excitement.
“No, thanks. I think I’ll chill with my mother today.” I pointed to my mom.
Alice’s face developed a deep frown, but she soon got over the rejection because she sprinted away all jolly like nothing had happened. Boy is Alice one unique and animated figure.
As I devoured and savored the very last bite of my sandwich, Rosalie marched her way into the kitchen.
“Well I just came to let you know that I’m leaving to go hunting with the boys and Esme. I’ll return with them.” My mom nodded, acknowledging Rosalie’s departure.
My mom cleared my plate off the table and cautiously placed it in the dishwasher. It was easy for her to break plates, even when she didn’t have any intention of doing it. This was the same for all the vampires.
“Mom, you beat Rachel Ray and Emeril Lagasse on cooking. Didn’t you stop cooking a long time ago? Seven and a half years to be exact?” I remembered Grandpa Charlie complimenting my mother’s fine culinary skills when she was human, but wouldn’t these skills be none if the practice of cooking was forgotten?
“I still watch T.V., and once you’ve learned something as, or was important in life you never forget it, really. Cooking is pretty simple. And that recipe is really easy to make. Want me to teach you?” Did I? Of course I wanted to learn this, Jacob would be flattered if I made this!
So for the next hour she went through step-by-step of the recipe and all the basic info. I mean, who knew a vampire would teach a human (well half-human anyway) how to cook?
We then settled down in the living room, chatting for a few hours like old friends at a reunion or something.
“Mom, is it true that Alice and Rosalie put together some sort of a baby book for me?”
“Why, yes that is true. Wait here and I’ll go get it.” My mom darted for the attic.
When she came back, she was carrying a fat book, a pink one. How many pictures did Alice and Rosalie take? How much money did they spend on it?
“Well here you are after birth….” I looked like an average baby, but I had the familiar pale white skin. I was so tiny, but beneath each picture was a caption stating my age. It was only after one week of birth that I appeared as a toddler to the eye.
And as I was taking a shower I thought about all the things that had occured during the day with my mom. I discussed things I knew about her, and learned some new things. And in a new experience, a mother-daughter day. A day I didn’t have with my mother in a long time. Well I was pleased with today and I want more. I want to learn more things about my mother and her past and personality. I realized I knew more about daddy than her. Sure I was a “daddy’s little girl,” but that did not serve as an excuse for not knowing my mother. I’m an awful daughter.
“Mom!” I hollered for her presence as I climbed under the plush covers of my bed.
She came exactly only five milliseconds from my cry.
“Yes, dear? Is something wrong?” she checked.
“No, I just wanted to thank you for making me lunch and dinner. And just for spending your time with me today. And more importantly, I wanted to let you know that I love you, momma.” I added a gentle grin.
“I love you too, Renesmee.” And with that she tucked me in like she did years ago, and planted a good night kiss on my forehead.
I could now sleep serenely, with respect for my mother established. I could now sleep, knowing that my mother knew I wouldn’t switch her for any other mother in the world. I hoped she received that message.
Time to sleep,
-Renesmee Cullen <3