(Jacob Black’s Diary) Permission

August 22, 2010

Dear Diary,

I was off of patrols yesterday, so of course I spent most of it with Ness. We went over to Leah’s house to rehearse places, and everything. Me and Ness would walk down the aisle and then separate and go to our places, yada, yada, yada.

It took about two hours to perfect everything; it was harder to do it because we were rehearsing in Leah’s backyard, not the pond behind the Cullens’ where the ceremony was going to be held. And, of course, we had to take extra time to explain it to Paul…it’s hard to get anything through his thick head.

When we finished, everyone ate some fried chicken, and then all scattered to go wherever the hell they felt like. Ness and I left, and I ended up having to drop her off at the mall where Alice was waiting. She didn’t want to go, since I was off patrol, but I still had tonight – and her and Alice had been planning this for a while.

So, Ness reluctantly left, but her face brightened when Alice started telling her about some D&G, or D&J sale. Whatever those over-priced designer’s call their ‘fashion lines’. The whole drive back to the Cullens’ house, Ness’s sweet pomegranate scent was still hanging in the air, making my mind slow down a bit. Taking a deep breath, I got out of the car, and went inside the Cullens’ mega mansion.

I’ve thought about it; I don’t want to wait until Ness’s next birthday. All this marriage stuff with Leah’s wedding, and me losing control in the car with Nessie made me realize that I want it sooner. I want to be tied to her in any way possible, and I want to be her husband so bad it’s weirding me out a bit. The bond that I feel with her…it’s so damn indescribable. I feel so many emotions with her. She makes me feel happy, sad, scared, sensitive, loved. It’s a whirlwind of feelings, and it’s pretty confusing.

When I walked in the Cullens’, I knew then that this would be the only time I would get to talk to Edward, without anyone overhearing. So, I walked in with confidence, though it was fake. On the inside, I was scared as hell. Do you know what it feels like, asking an overprotective vampire father to have his daughter’s hand in marriage? Yeah, pretty frigging scary.

I took three deep breaths, and walked in the house, trying not to fidget. Esme was cooking, and smiled at me from the kitchen before I found Edward sitting on the couch with Bella.

“Uh, hi, Edward.” I rushed the words out. Edward looked up, his brows furrowed in confusion, and I tried my best not to think about what I was going to ask him.

“Hello, Jacob. Is there anything you need?” he asked, clearly trying to dig around in my head. I nodded.

“I was wondering if we could, um, take a walk? So we can talk,” I said, my voice cracking at the end. Edward got a curious glint in his eye, and Bella was biting her lip, confused.

“Yes, of course,” he answered.  ”I’ll be back soon, love,” he told Bella, and stood up easily from the leather couch. I rocked back on my heels, and shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans. Edward walked beside me to the door, and followed me outside.

Once we made it to the crisp air, I breathed deeply, and Edward watched me.

“What is it, Jacob?” he asked, sounding concerned. I bit the inside of my cheek, and looked at him, straight in the eyes.

“Well…I almost went too far with Ness the other day,” I said, and his eyes tightened the slightest.

“Yes, I actually heard her thoughts when I came back from hunting. But, you guys stopped yourselves, so it’s none of my business – and it’s not my place to punish either of you,” he said softly, and I nodded.

“Well, see, I had a plan. I was going to wait until her next birthday, but I’ve decided I want to do this sooner,” I said, and breathed through my nose, when the snow started falling again slowly. Edward waited for me to continue.

“I want to ask her to marry me.” The words tumbled out of my mouth jumbled and fast. Edward’s face turned to understanding, a glint of anger, and then acceptance.

“And, how soon are you planning on asking her, Jacob?” he asked, his voice impassive. I took another deep breath.

Well, I was thinking around March…I know how much Ness loves spring, and I was thinking the wedding could be in May…?” I said nervously. Edward nodded, and looked down for a minute.

“Well, Jacob, I don’t want my baby girl to grow up…but, she has, sooner than I would have liked, but there’s no stopping it. She’ll be matured soon enough, and I saw this coming. As hard as it is for me, I give you my permission to propose,” he said, looking back up and directly into my eyes. I nodded, and smiled.

“I love her so much, Edward. I promise you, I will never mess it up.” I over-pronounced each word, looking at Edward straight on.

“I know, Jacob. I can see it, I can hear it,” he admitted, pointing to his head. “But, if you ever do anything close to hurting her…you’ll be patrolling in a wheelchair.” I laughed. He joined in, and then clapped me on the back.

“You’re a good kid, Jacob. I’m glad that you imprinted on her…I mean, I find the whole process beautiful, and I know that the connection is so deep that I can trust you with her,” Edward added. The look on his face wasn’t happy, but at least it wasn’t angry. Relief flooded through me, and I smiled the whole walk back.

Once we were inside, Edward went to play the piano and I walked into the kitchen, relief still strongly radiating through me the whole time. I sniffed the air, and my grin grew even wider. Esme made some of her amazing beef stew. That stuff is so damn good, I can eat a whole pot of it.

On the counter I found a humongous container full of it and it had a little sticky note with my name on it, stuck on the top. I grabbed a coke, and a spoon and wolfed down half of the stew. I was gonna keep the rest for later.

I heard a car come up the drive and I knew it was Alice and Nessie, so I put my spoon in the sink and made my way to the garage to greet them. Esme was hanging a picture, so I hugged and kissed her cheek on the way to the door leading out to the six car garage connected to the house. She smiled at me, and I walked out to the garage. I stood off to the side, and the door started opening automatically. Alice’s purple Nissan 350z pulled in smoothly, and the engine turned off quietly.

I waited for Ness to get out, and she sprinted over to me, and jumped up on me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

“Hey, Jake!” she said, then kissed my cheek softly. I smiled at her.

“Alice? Did you give her one of those twenty dollar coffees again?” I asked, and Alice grinned then shook her head.

“Jake, I’m just excited to see you! I missed you,” Ness said, kissing me quickly, before jumping down.

“I missed you too, honey,” I said, stroking the side of her face slowly.

“We bought some great clothes, didn’t we Ali?” Ness said, turning to watch Alice closing the trunk of her car. She had about forty bags on her arms.

“Yes! Yes we did! I can’t believe I forgot all about the sale they were having at Jimmy Choos! Thankfully, all the good heels weren’t gone,” Alice sung, grinning mischievously, skipping back inside as if she wasn’t carrying an extra one hundred and fifty pounds. I rolled my eyes and Ness grabbed my hand.

“So, what did you do while I was gone?” Nessie asked, her eyes probing my face curiously.

“I hung out with your dad, and then ate a bucket of Esme’s awesome beef stew,” I said, proud of myself for such quick thinking.

“You hung out with my dad?” She asked, her face turning incredulous.

“Yeah, we watched some television and stuff,” I answered, fidgeting. Ness nodded, but still looked skeptical. Thankfully, she shrugged it off and we walked inside the house, hand in hand.

The rest of the day passed, and me and Ness watched movies, played games, and talked. I’ve never related to someone so well. I was glad I didn’t have patrols today, because I’ve learned that there is nowhere in the world that I would rather be than with Nessie. I’m feeling a lot more confident about the decision I made to propose earlier than I had planned. I love her. So much. And I don’t want to wait. I want to be the man called her husband. I want to make her breakfast in bed, and spend every second of the day with her. And now that Edward ‘approves’, I don’t feel scared about anything anymore.

I went home in a dreamy state, and smiled the whole time I took a shower. I’m pretty sure I slept the whole night with a huge grin on my face.

Well, I’m leaving now. I have patrol in about two hours, and I want to spend some more time with my future wife.

- Jacob

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I know that this entry didn’t have any steamy makeout scenes, and whatnot, but this was a filler, and it needed to be posted for the story to be the same. Thanks for reading, and I promise steamy entries are in the soon future! :)

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