September 19, 2010
It’s been awhile since I’ve written in you, sorry. My schedule was crammed with packing and unpacking. Yes, it’s true, we’ve left Melody Key. We arrived back at the Cullen mansion literally five minutes before my mom’s birthday, or so I was told (I was asleep). I insisted that someone awake me to be there in the moment, but of course my father ignored that simple request. Hmmmmph, like sleep is more important than my own mother’s birthday, please.
“Ness, we’re not celebrating her birthday until the afternoon. You’ll sleep until noon,” I denied that completely when my father spoke of it. But we both knew he was right before it happened, anyway. It was just me who slept through my mom’s birthday, but the entire pack and imprints, drained of their energy from the traveling and packing, too.
Mom was all I could think about. I worried because I know I shouldn’t have taken part in her “surprise birthday party.” It was her birthday and an acceptable present from me was just my attendance. But there wouldn’t be a party without presents and other goodies.
Alice insisted we keep the “Bella birthday tradition” since she declined it so much. Don’t get me wrong, these birthday parties aren’t to torture my mom, but to keep her “alive” Grandma Renee and Grandpa Charlie still live so we feel that we should keep her “human-ness” alive as long as my grandparents still live. (We also just enjoy my mom’s polite rejections: ‘Alice you shouldn’t have….’ ‘You really didn’t have to do this…’
Since I switched to the guitar from the piano, I can now write songs for my mother. Trust me, my mom’s wishes of priceless gifts are more difficult to come up with than prepare. And I’m not just referring to writing a song, but coming up with a priceless idea. Alice is the only one who disregards my mother’s wishes, but she is excused because of her personality. Everyone else just fishes for cheap, yet admirable items.
In my song I wanted to feature the highlights of my life with her (excluding my birth, hehe). I had to express my love and utmost appreciation for the woman who sacrificed her life for mine.
So as exasperated and as weary as I was….I strummed away on my guitar, exploring every lyric option to which ever tune struck my mind. There are no words to describe song writing, really. Or at least the way I write songs. My mind wanders of into adrift, an unexplainable sea of words that float. And which ever words fare better than the other in a particular order, they are written.
Divine images of me hugging my mother’s legs sprang into my thoughts…and then bursts of pleasant memorabilia. I infused all of this into my momma’s birthday piece, stretching it out to perfection. I had expressed everything I wanted to say, to let her know in this song. A simple “I love you” was not enough, at least not for me, especially since my momma deserved far more.
“Once a lovin’ is not enough for the heart
Especially when we descend in life on this part
Momma I love you,
forever and always
Just wanted you to hear that from me…….
your daughter Nessie
You’d hold me tight while daddy was gone
You’d hold me with love ’till dawn
You thought I was the precious gift………”
Today Bella turned turned twenty-seven. She looked and acted the same. Even her dull, casual aura remained the same as it always was. But the fact was, nothing was the same. Alice was slyly preparing for the party, creeping in and out of rooms instead of her usual dance. My father had pushed my mother towards hunting so Alice could arrange the final touches to the “surprise birthday party.”
Alice decided to not go ”low-key” to spare my mother some unwanted attention.
“If the decor is dazzling, the attention will lay on my display, not Bella.” For once one of Alice’s…er ideas made sense and was very generous, for well Alice, anyway.
Rosalie assisted Alice every step of the way, catering to her every need (Although Alice did practically everything). Rosalie didn’t have the best relationship with my mother, but they were sister-in-laws. Aunt Rosalie had no problem helping out with special events, even for Bella’s Birthday.
My Aunt Rosalie was a misunderstood character, that’s all. People might see her as cold or harsh, but she’s not really. And if I went through Aunt Rose’s grim life experiences, I’d be just the same. Not to mention that Bella exchanged her mortality with choice, something my aunt deeply wishes she had. For Rose’s strong armor to put up with all that, I envy her.
“It’s time, it’s time! Everyone file around the fountain!” Alice ordered, pleating her lavender BCBG dress. The fountain wasn’t your average water fountain, but a chocolate fountain, trickling luscious milk chocolate galore for the humans. A three tier cake laid as the center piece in the middle of the dining room.
As much as I believe Jacob was anticipating my mother’s entrance, I couldn’t help but giggle at him gaping at the edibles, and then at me. Alice had allowed me to dress myself since it was my mom’s birthday and she knows my momma wouldn’t want it any other way. So I flaunted a floral sundress and put my cowgirl boots to use.
“Happy Birthday!” Everyone cheered. One would conclude that my mom was in a horror film rather then the enchanting scene with that aghast expression.
My father was the first to reach her, ushering her towards the crowd. He was whispering things in her ear, probably trying to comfort her from the shock and attention.
“Happy Birthday, mom!” I reached her next, giving a warm hug.
“I see you’re wearing my present,” she commented, eying the pearl beauty wrapped around my neck.
“Happy Birthday, Bells.” Jacob cut in, exchanging a bear hug with my mom (who could now handle them). “Time for presents! Everyone grab your presents.” Alice sang, snatching her own item. It seems Alice would be running the show.
The pack and imprints, excluding me and Jacob, made a homemade dreamcatcher necklace and a snowglobe that featured a howling wolf. My mother graciously accepted the gifts, shaking the snowglobe once for good measure.
Alice offered her’s next. My mother gingerly took the cherry red box laced with white ribbon. As much I craned my neck over the white tissue paper I couldn’t make out the gift. “Thanks, Alice, you really shouldn’t have….” My mom revealed a golden friendship bracelet loaded with charms. “I have mine, see!” Alice waved her wrist in the air. It was a corny, yet thoughtful gift. Alice truly was Bella’s best friend and the bracelet permanently depicted that. “Well wear it, silly!” Alice inisted, giggling to my mom’s unending modesty.
Jacob as usual racked up a carving he had made himself. Although, this one is unique. The carving was a represenation of my mother’s beloved 1958 Ford pick-up truck.”Thank you Jake, I guess I haven’t lost my truck after all,” she chuckled, this time giving him the bear hug.
Rosalie and Emmett somehow managed to get their hands on Jane Austen’s original “Sense and Sensibility” novel. Note to self: Ask mom if you could borrow that, hehe. Carlisle and Esme purchased a vintage armchair for my mother to “read in.” For a senior citizen piece of furniture it was in stable condition. Maybe I could test it out first?
Jasper contributed an authentic Teddy Bear from the early 1900′s. I guess the Teddy would perfectly accompany my mom’s oak bookshelves. My father had two parts to his gift. Part two I shall not say or that may result in major gagging or vomiting, hehe. Part one however, consisted of a weekend getaway to Forks to “bring back memories.” The getaway brought “part two.”
My birthday present was left for last on purpose. Alice had already grasped my guitar before my mother had thanked Jasper. I made sure to relax all the tension in my muscles before taking center stage.”I’ll be singing a song I wrote in honor of my mom.” And with those final worlds I began plucking through strings of the wooden instrument with pure pride.
A deep breath, and I sung the lyrics I had written. This was it, the moment of truth. Only the sound of the encouraging plaudits kept me going and I even finished with a crooked smile to my mom’s delight. I was already tearing up like an infant, wrecking my makeup…..I’d have to go have a visit to Alice later as she wouldn’t let this fashion faux paw go unhinged. Once again I embraced my mother with a heartfelt hug to calm the tears. “I love you, momma. Forever and always.”
Time to party (or wash my face),
Please join the “Renesmee’s Diary” family on Facebook HERE
And please follow me on Twitter here (Nessie’s Diary): HERE
Ask me stuff on Formspring here (RenesmeesDiary) HERE
Send me any feedback you may have at my new email here: email@example.com
YouTube channel HERE (NessCullensDiary)