(Jacob’s Diary) Proposal

September 25, 2010

Dear Diary,

I have never been more nervous in my entire life than I was earlier today.

Today was the day of the ‘date’ I planned. My dad left yesterday, leaving me my mother’s ring and a “good luck.”

Alice had went to make the finishing touches on the setup, and I was ironing my pants…again. Ness was at the Cullens’ house, and in two hours I was going to pick her up. I was discussing my plans with Bella and Edward while ironing, and Edward of course scowled the whole conversation. He’s so protective.

“Awww! Jake! I never knew you could be so romantic!” Bella giggled, clapping her hands. Edward rolled his eyes.

“Well, she’s worth it,” I said, directing my comment at Edward. He shrugged and I grinned widely.

“Um, well, me and Edward ought to go home and clean our room,” Bella said, breaking the awkward silence, and winking at Edward.

I swallowed the bile that rose in the back of my throat and my face scrunched up.

“Go, get out of my house, you pervy leeches,” I said, shivering in mock disgust. They both grinned and walked out of my front door. I turned my iron off, and grabbed my pants before walking into my bathroom, shaking my head. They’re so damn weird.

I paced back and forth in my bathroom, nervously running my hands through my hair. Everything was coming so fast, and every breath I took, made my body tense up. I’ve never been this nervous before.

I realized how much I was sweating so I took a damp washcloth to my face, but I realized that I might as well take a shower. I don’t want to propose to the love of my life with stinky pits. I hopped into the steaming hot shower, hoping it would ease my muscles a little.

When I first stepped in I hissed at the scalding water hitting my already too hot skin, but then relaxed into the misty spray. Another reason why I love Esme. When she remodels houses, she puts in these real expensive shower-heads that spray from all different angles and it hits all the stressed muscles. It feels nice after patrolling, and all this added on stress has tensed me up. Ah.

I spent about an hour in the shower, just standing there rehearsing what I would say. I also just sat there and tried to relax a bit.

In the end, my muscles were relaxed, but I wasn’t.

I got out and dried off with a fluffy towel that was hanging on the towel rack. I took a deep breath. Aw, hell. I’m really doing this.

I shrugged my shoulders,  telling my self to get a grip before pulling on my white t-shirt that I was going to wear under my dress shirt, and the black jeans that I was wearing. Alice told me to style my hair and, hell, I listened to her opinion. I got a glob of hair gel and ran it through my hair making it acceptable. I looked at myself in the mirror from all different angles to make sure there wasn’t a hair out of place.

Satisfied, I pulled out my shaving cream and razor and I started shaving my face, making sure it was soft and smooth. When I finished, I went and drank a glass of hot chocolate. What can I say? I need all the comfort I can get at a time like this. I gulped it down and then picked out the little marshmallows and ate them. I felt a little better after that. I had about twenty minutes until I had to pick Nessie up, so I put my cup in the sink then walked back into my bathroom.

Grabbing my shirt off the hanger, I brushed it off to make sure it was wrinkle and lint free. When I saw that it was, I pushed my arms through the arm holes and buttoned it up. Alice told me not to tuck it or it would look too formal. I decided once again to follow her advice. I made sure it fell right and I was happy with the outfit choice.

It was a tight white dress shirt that fell right at the top of my fitted black jeans, and I was going to wear my favorite white and black Nikes. When I tied the laces, I stood up and adjusted my clothes then brushed around my hair once to make sure it looked okay. I took another deep breath and walked out of the bathroom then out of my door that leads to my garage.

When I got in my car, I breathed slowly and popped all my knuckles before even starting the car.

I pulled smoothly out of my garage then drove the few seconds to the Cullens’ house. I got out almost robotically and blinked a few times before I knocked timidly. Bella opened the door, grinning manically. I nodded at her and she let me in.

“She’ll be down in just a minute, Jake,” Bella said, clapping her hands. I sat on the couch and waited for a few minutes. When I looked up at the stairs, Ness was walking down them. My jaw unhinged and the breath in my lungs came out in a wheezy gasp. Her bronze hair was pulled up in an up-do and several pieces fell to frame her face in curly tendrils. The other curls made an elaborate bun thing. She was wearing minimal makeup but her eyes were huge and brown with excitement, fringed with beautiful black lashes and her pale skin glowed softly.

She was wearing a deep forest green dress that fell right at her knees and was fitted all the way to her hips flowing outward from there, showing of her soft curves and hourglass figure. It was a sweet heart neckline and she wore the butterfly necklace I gave her on her third birthday that had an emerald in the center of the wooden butterfly. She wore green gladiator sandals with a dark green ribbon that came around her ankle and tied in a bow. She was so beautiful.

I stood up immediately, clearing my throat and nervously walking towards her.

“Renesmee…you look so beautiful,” I whispered, and she blushed deeply.

“So do you,” she said, and then turned an even brighter red. Bella went into the other room, trying to give us some sort of privacy, I guess.

“I mean, handsome,” she rushed out, shaking her head. I laughed, feeling some of the nervousness drain out. Being nervous around her is impossible.

“Shall we?” I asked in a fake English accent, holding my arm out to her. She giggled.

“We shall,” she giggled, and looped her arm in mine as we walked out to my car. I let her in and ran to my side before starting the car.

The whole ride there Ness sang along with the radio, her voice so much more angelic than the person singing the song.

When we got there, I let her out and gently took her hand.

“The lake?” She asked curiously.

“It’s the closest I could get to a beach,” I said, and she kissed my cheek.

“You’re so sweet,” She replied with angelic smile, and I blushed like the nerd I am.

“Oh my gosh! This is beautiful!” She exclaimed when the table that me and Alice set up came into view. It had candles and two plates of fettuccine alfredo and a side of caesar salad sitting delicately in the middle. She skipped over to it and I pulled out her chair for her and she sat down before I pushed her in, causing her to giggle. Once I took my seat, we started eating the food that Alice prepared and I laughed when Ness finished before I did. She blushed. Guess she was hungry.

“Sorry, but when you give me my favorite food, I’m going to eat it,” she said giggling and I nodded, my mind on other things.

“I, of all people should understand,” I said, and she laughed her pretty chiming laugh.

“So, do you want to take a walk on the beach?” I asked, a trickle of nervousness seeping in my stomach. She grinned.

“Yes! Just let me take off these sandals,” she answered, untying the little bows and slipping them off to show her small and delicate feet, perfectly manicured.

Ness walked over to me and I took her soft hand in mine before we started slowly walking along the shore line. Alice said that she would sit the ring about sixty yards away from the table, so I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and slowed the pace a bit.

“Oh, the sunset is so pretty,” she acknowledged softly, and I nodded.

“Yeah, I picked a good day for this,” I said, and she kissed my cheek again.

“This has been so sweet. I love you so much,” she breathed, and I looked nervously down at the sand. I saw the pink clam that Alice showed me. It was sitting right in the sand, so I bent and picked it up.

“Look at this,” I said, handing it to Ness. She smiled.

“Oh! It’s a little clam, let’s see if it’ll open,” she said smiling brilliantly and I went down on my knee, right when it popped open. She looked inside of it and then looked at me,her eyes filling up with tears. She kept looking at me, and then back at the ring.

“Jake…” she whispered, her voice hoarse.

“Renesmee Cullen, I love you so much. You’re my imprint, but you’re so much more than that. You are everything to me and I want you to be mine more than anything. You are my happiness and pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane… I just love you so much. Please, marry me. Let me be the one who gets to wake up next to you. Let me be the one to have the right to kiss you whenever I want to. Please let me be your husband.” I said, staring up at her, and she had her and over her mouth.

“Yes!” She whispered, grabbing my head and pulled me up to kiss her.

I was standing again and I was holding her small face in my hands, kissing her with so much passion that I had been holding in for so long.

“Oh my god. We’re getting married!” She squealed once we pulled away momentarily for air. She started spinning around in the sand and I grabbed her from behind and spun her up in the air.

“Thank you so much for saying yes,” I whispered in her ear. She turned around in my arms to face me.

“All of this to propose? I would’ve said yes if you took me to McDonalds!” She said, and I half rolled my eyes.

“You honestly think that I would take you there? Hell no! You’re worth so much more. I honestly wanted to do more, but I didn’t have enough time to prepare something more elaborate without you getting suspicious,” I mumbled, and she smiled.

“I love you, Jacob,” she said with certainty, kissing me softly on the lips. I pushed the ring on her finger and looked back up at her.

“I love you too,” I said, and she finally took a good look at the delicate gold ring that held a small assortment of diamonds.

“It was my mother’s,” I said, and more tears filled her eyes.

“Jake, oh my gosh. This is literally the best day of my life.” She stared directly in my eyes and I beamed.

“You don’t even know,” I told her, guiding her back to my car after grabbing her shoes and my keys. Alice would come and clean up.

Ness sighed softly when she climbed in my car, and I floated to my side, before getting in.

The ride back to her house was blissful. When we got back I opened her door and I walked her to the door of the Cullens’ house.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly, so delicately.

“Thank you for everything…I love you so much,” she whispered against my lips. I kissed her again softly, almost unable to let her go.

“I love you more,” I challenged, and she rolled her eyes before reluctantly disentangling her arms and softly walking in the door. I sighed, and slowly walked back to my car. I was in a trance, my mind was moving slowly and when I finally got home, I just had to write this down.

This event cannot go undocumented. I feel so happy, like I’m floating an inch above the ground. You ever get that feeling, where you’re so happy that nothing in the world matters and you just feel like you drank a whole damn bottle of happy juice? Well, for me, it’s multiplied by a million right now.

For now though, I’m going to go to bed. I’ll write again soon. Sweet dreams everyone – because I sure as hell know I’ll be having good dreams tonight.

- Jacob

Hey Twi-Lovers! Ahhh, so sorry for the uber long wait…AGAIN, but life is hectic right now.

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