Alice’s Diary — War

October 17, 2010

Dear Diary,

Well, we’re back home in rainy, dark Forks. What a contrast to the paradise of what I’ve dubbed “Whitlock Waterfall” … but, still, I’m glad to be back with my family, with Jasper at my side!

Apparently while we were gone, someone did a pretty good job of convincing Bella that having this cabin is going to be so much fun. Because as soon as we got within a mile of the house, we could hear riotous laughter from Emmett (as usual), Renesmee, Jacob, even Edward and Bella.

“They’re having fun without me?” I cried, speeding up. Jazz burst into laughter and accelerated his own pace.

“An oversight I’m sure they’ll be glad to correct,” he drawled between chuckles.

As we arrived in the backyard, I scanned the scene before me in a millisecond. Emmett had purchased an entire case of several different types of water guns, and had all of the family jet-skis lined up, ready to be transformed. The laughter I’d heard was probably based on Emmett’s own jet-ski – originally camo-painted in shades of blue, it was now almost entirely covered in weapons.

Swivel-mounted machine water guns … let’s see, there were a total of four … covered the front of the jet-ski, barely leaving enough space for the handles to steer with. Long, tubular water cannons protruded from the back of the jet-ski, with double-barreled water guns attached to both sides via retractable cords. I was only surprised Emmett hadn’t found a way to attach weapons to the underside of his vehicle.

In the 3/8 of a second it had taken me to assess the situation, my siblings had all looked up at Jasper and myself with huge, goofy grins, and began to welcome us home. I instantly forgave them for starting without me.

With one arm around Bella, and my other hand clutching Renesmee’s, I waited just long enough for them to finish saying hello before I interrupted. “So when are we heading up there?” I asked excitedly, squeezing Ness’s hand (gently).

“You guys just got home!” Emmett reminded me, leveling a speculative stare in Jasper’s direction. Oh boy. I knew that look.

Sure enough, Emmett began to let loose with his trademark booming laugh. “Desperate for a distraction, huh, guys? What’s wrong, didn’t get enough -”

As he held up the power drill and revved it suggestively, Jasper calmly slid behind him, and in one lightning-fast motion, he had Emmett’s arms trapped behind his back, the power drill buried in the forest some hundred yards away. The rest of us giggled appreciatively.

“And I’ll thank you not to share that type of commentary within my daughter’s hearing range,” Edward added dryly, as he handed the drill back to Emmett.

Anyway …” Bella sighed, rolling her eyes at me. “We’re not going up there right away -”

Emmett snorted his disapproval, already back at work on his jet-ski.

” – because … there’s been enough excitement around here lately,” Bella explained patiently. Her gaze rested on Nessie as she added, “I just want everything to go back to normal for a little while.”

“Yeah, but once we finally do get up there, it’s gonna be awesome,” Jacob burst out, panting over the box of water guns. I scrunched up my nose; who had invited him?

Edward concealed his smile perfectly as he commented, seemingly out of the blue, “Naturally, Jacob, Seth, and Leah will be going with us … as their main goal is to protect Renesmee.” I stuck out my tongue quickly so nobody else would see.

At this point, Rosalie sauntered out of the house in a cashmere dress and vintage Chanel pumps. Nice!

“Welcome back,” she greeted me, with a brief but sincere hug. She smiled and waved to Jasper before turning back to me. “So, you made it just in time to watch the dog decorate our jet-skis.”

I snickered as Jacob replied without missing a beat, “Don’t worry Blondie, I’ve got a box full of mirrors to attach to yours.”

Rosalie bared her teeth at him, then dismissed him with an imperious wave of her perfectly manicured hand. “Anyway, as I was going to say before Fido started barking at the squirrels … I’ve made a few slight alterations to the engines.”

“Hell yeah!” Emmett boomed, pumping his fist in the air. I winced as the power drill barely missed Jacob’s chin. Although, come to think of it, even if it had made a hole in the guy’s face, it would heal in minutes anyway!

Edward rubbed his hands together, a familiar gleam in his eyes as he gazed at the jet-skis. Watching him, I automatically scanned to see what he was imagining.

The backyard blurred around me, and was replaced with a vision of the lake. My vantage point was in the middle of the lake – on my jet-ski I assumed, though I was looking up and to the side, so I couldn’t tell for sure. What I could see was my brother, skidding across the water in his souped-up vehicle, with an almost evil look of victory on his face as Emmett yelled angrily and shot water at him from a few yards behind.

Coming back to the present, I realized I was smiling like a total maniac as everyone but Edward stared curiously at me.

“Where’d ya go, Alice?” Jacob asked casually, reaching for a machine water gun. Emmett snatched it away at the last second.

Edward looked more like a demon than the angel Bella considers him to be as I cleared my throat to buy time. “Erm … I was just watching a little game … looked like water wars,” I replied vaguely, biting back the laughter that was bubbling up inside of me.

Just then, I heard a car turn into the driveway.

“Oh, good, Carlisle and Esme are back,” Bella said eagerly, whirling around and disappearing.

“She wants to teach Renesmee how to cook steak and baked potatoes,” Edward explained, frowning slightly at Jacob. I sniffed the air as the car doors opened. Yep, I could definitely smell the canvas bags we used at the grocery store, along with the tang of raw meat muffled by butcher paper.

That didn’t sound super fun to me, so I stayed where I was. I knew Carlisle and Esme would come outside to welcome Jasper and myself home anyway. And in the meantime …

“Pass me one of those cannons, would you?” I demanded, already seated on my purple and black jet-ski. Emmett obligingly threw it at my head, and Jasper appeared at my side with the tools.

It was definitely going to be a fun night.

XOXO Aiice



This entry was written by Erin MacMahon. She was the former writer of Alice's Diary before Rachel took over. Although Erin is no longer a writer at we wish her nothing but the best and are so very happy to have met such a true talent!
©Erin MacMahon

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