Alice’s Diary — Thankful

November 26, 2010

Dear Diary,

Edward and Bella decided to join the Thanksgiving party at Sue’s, so it was pretty quiet around here today (I’m thankful for Sue and Charlie bringing each other peace and joy, and being Renesmee’s other set of grandparents). The rest of us, unencumbered by our usual entourage of fuzzy friends, mostly stayed inside to celebrate with our other halves (I’m thankful for the truce that keeps us safe from angry werewolves).

I say “mostly” — Carlisle, having taken the day off, went on a vampire-style picnic with Esme (I’m thankful for my amazing, wonderful, loving, supportive parents). No plates, glasses, or silverware needed; just animals to hunt, and a blanket to … rest … on afterward.

When I’d had my fill of celebration (I’m thankful for Jasper Whitlock, and having had more than half a century to somewhat get used to his beauty), I interrupted Emmett’s playtime and requested his presence in the living room. We had to set up the puppet show before Ness got back.

For those who don’t know about Punch and Judy, they’re just old hand puppets who crack jokes at each others expense and bonk each other on the head from time to time, within a small booth meant to be the stage. We just used one of the cardboard boxes from the jet-skis to make our booth, and then I hung the obligatory red curtains on each side of the “stage” opening (I’m thankful for leftover rags from Bella’s old wardrobe, if you can even call it that).

Our puppets were pretty awesome; I had painstakingly painted each of the “Indians” to resemble members of the wolf pack, including Jacob as Squanto (I’m thankful for Jacob’s well-timed imprinting on Renesmee, keeping her safe from those angry werewolves I already mentioned). The “pilgrims” included Carlisle as the leader, and the rest of my family as the other settlers.

I re-arranged the living room furniture in a semicircle around the puppet show, and waited for everyone to get back home.

Esme and Carlisle were first to return, and Esme, a beatific smile on her lovely face, immediately went to the kitchen to make another batch of pumpkin-raisin cookies (I knew they wouldn’t last an entire 24 hours). Carlisle came into the living room to see what was going on, and burst into laughter when he saw his mini-me puppet with its black and white pilgrim hat (I’m thankful for endless resources and my ability to predict stock market trends so we’ll always be able to do anything we want).

Rosalie sauntered down the stairs when it became clear that Emmett wasn’t coming back up, and draped herself over a white leather armchair. I smiled when I saw what she was wearing; it was an outfit we’d picked out together – a Burberry London plaid sheath with transparent Christian Louboutin pumps outlined in black zippers – and it kind of matched my outfit, a Chloe plaid minidress with Alexander McQueen crystal-studded pumps (I’m thankful for beautiful clothes, and beautiful family members to dress in those clothes).

Everyone else began to gather in the living room, too. While I waited for Bella, Edward, Ness and Jacob to arrive, I snuggled into Jasper’s lap and leaned my head against his broad shoulder, inhaling his unique scent. The rest of my family paired off, too, with even more smiles and PDA than usual (I’m thankful that all of the people I love have found their true loves, too).

FINALLY they showed up, and surprise, surprise, Jacob went straight to the huge platter of freshly baked cookies, despite having just consumed a massive Thanksgiving feast according to my spy Renesmee (I’m thankful for the sheer miracle of Renesmee). She showed me him piling food on his plate, emptying the plate in seconds, and going in for more, giggling as she replayed it for me. In my thankful, positive mood, I merely shook my head with a tolerant giggle, and bit back any insults I would normally have made.

After quickly brushing some dried leaf bits off Nessie’s wine-colored Prada velvet Mary Janes (if only they came in MY size!!), I beckoned to Emmett and we began the show.

“The First Thanksgiving,” we squeaked in unison (you can’t do a puppet show in your normal voice) from below the lip of the “stage.”

“On the first Thanksgiving,” Emmett began, using Jacob/ Squanto to narrate, “the pilgrims arrived in an unfamiliar land, with no idea how to survive the harsh winter.” Here, I made my Carlisle puppet and as many of the other “pilgrims” as I could clutch in my other hand “walk” into the scene. Jacob whooped with laughter when he saw the striking resemblance, and I heard Bella begin to giggle too.

“It’s so cold! Where are all the animals? What shall we eat?” I had my pilgrim-puppets say, jiggling each one to indicate the speaker.

“Don’t fear,” Carlisle-pilgrim replied, “with God’s will we shall find a way.” My imitation of Carlisle’s voice was so dead-on, the last half of his line was drowned out by laughter from the peanut gallery audience.

Just then, Jacob-Squanto came bobbing into the scene. “You must harvest the plants in order to survive,” he boomed out in Emmett’s imitation of a Native American accent (cringeworthy but still hilarious; I’m thankful for the fantastic sense of humor my family has).

“But how? What plants do we eat?” Carlisle-pilgrim asked seriously, as the other pilgrim puppets bobbed their heads and knocked into each other.

“I will show you,” Jacob-Squanto replied, spreading his puppet arms and smacking Carlisle-pilgrim in the face with his puppet fist. Our audience giggled obligingly.

The other “Indians” came into the scene, crashing into each other in their excitement as they threw dried corncobs at the pilgrims’ heads. “These are for eating!!!” Emmett made the Seth-Indian say in a high voice, to resounding laughter from Jacob and Ness.

“You can eat this, too!” the Leah-puppet yelled, throwing a small paper turkey at the Bella-pilgrim.

Finally, with much bumbling about and head-bonking, the pilgrims and Indians all “sat down” to a Thanksgiving feast.

“We are no longer hungry thanks to you,” declared the Carlisle-pilgrim, whacking Jacob-Squanto on his back. Emmett quickly threw a bit of dried corn to look like Jacob-Squanto choked it out.

“And we are glad to have new friends,” replied the Sam-puppet, “who will always remember our help and in their gratitude, will never do us harm.”

At this, my pilgrim puppets looked at each other rather exaggeratedly, knocking heads a few times, before the Alice-puppet replied, “I don’t see that happening!”

Amid laughter and applause, Emmett and I stood up and shouted, “The First Thanksgiving!”

XOXO Aiice



This entry was written by Erin MacMahon. She was the former writer of Alice's Diary before Rachel took over. Although Erin is no longer a writer at we wish her nothing but the best and are so very happy to have met such a true talent!
©Erin MacMahon

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