Edward’s Diary (False Alarm)

February 20, 2011

Dear Diary,

“Be safe, Jacob!” I listened as Bella called from the family room downstairs. I cringed internally. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Sure, sure,” another raspy voice mumbled back – Jacob – along with two big thuds from his feet hitting the tile as he strode out the door to leave for patrol; an unnecessary precaution from the wolves, but something I didn’t object to.

Bella sighed again, and I had an overwhelming urge to race down the stairs with my inhuman speed and take her in my arms. But I didn’t; I planted my feet where I was, chastising myself for my own irrationalities.

Bella was mine, my wife, and I knew better than to be jealous, dare I say. Of course Bella loved Jacob, but not more than she loved me. It was my stupid, unforgotten human emotions. I had no logical reason to be jealous, even taking my past history with the dog in consideration. Nevertheless, Jacob had imprinted on Renesmee…

I cringed again at the thought. Why my own daughter? I had yet to get over the fact.

My daughter, whom Bella had given birth to while she was still a fragile human, is growing up more rapidly than ever. At about four years old, she gives the impression of your average thirteen-year-old, except Renesmee is nowhere near average. She has a more superior knowledge capacity than any of us had ever anticipated, even Carlisle. If normal human parents thought their kids were growing up too fast, they should take a good look at Bella and me. Especially now that Renesmee is starting to become of age. Undeniably, the thought of my little girl growing up scared me, and it was coming fast.  But despite my worries, I am anxious to see how she’s going to turn out. She is already a beautiful young girl.

Jacob is pretty damn lucky.

My family and I now live in New Hampshire, and, I guess you could say Jacob lives with us, too. He has a cabin a few miles down the street from our mansion with other wolves, Leah and Seth Clearwater, but he visits so habitually on a daily basis that you’d believe he actually did live here. We’ve been here about three months or so, and I am relieved that everyone had gotten the time to get comfortable and at ease in our new house.

As I thought through everything that was happening, Bella appeared right at the doorway, looking as beautiful as ever. I still don’t have an understanding about how I was fortunate enough to have her in my immortal life. She had saved me, one way or another, from my own depression. That was just a few years ago, yet it seems like a lifetime.

She seemed curious. “You all right?” she asked me.

“I’m fine,” I replied, smiling at her. I noticed the light in her now slightly-dazed eyes as I did so. Dazzling her. I was an expert at that.

She snapped her expression back to normal just as she realized what had occurred. If she were still human, she would have been as red as a tomato – but that was back then. Her new body was no longer warm, no longer had blood running in her veins. I laughed, and took her stone body in my arms, kissing her head.

“Brooding as usual?” she teased.

“Not brooding,” I told her, “for I have nothing to agonize over. A more accurate term would be ‘having abstractions.’”

She laughed a little. “Too many minds to read?”

“With one exception,” I said, gesturing to her grandly.

“Somewhat,” she whispered, gripping my hands tightly. Images of me and her together filled my mind. Giving me a piece of her mind – a trick she had learned from Zafrina, during her last visit, and around the time period of our encounter with the Volturi face-on again. She showed me images of every time we had ever kissed, ever – from her foggy human memories that she had dug up, which were still blurry, to the more recent ones, which were crystal clear.

I understood what she was hinting at, and I pulled her face up to mine.

We kissed for a while, and I allowed myself to lose my thoughts in her. I could still see everything she was thinking. Eventually, the rest of my family began to notice.

Huh, someone from downstairs thought. Jasper. At least they’re better than Emmett and Rose.

Aw, though Esme. I’m still so glad Edward found Bella. Love never ages… And then she started thinking about Carlisle and her kissing as well.

Dude, come on, Emmett thought to me directly. Don’t be boring, get some more action!

I smiled at that, my lips were still locked with Bella’s. She felt my lips turn up against hers, and pulled back. “What?” she asked, a slight grin forming on her mouth as well.

“Emmett’s bored with us,” I told her, and heard a faint growl in Emmett’s mind as he heard. I smiled bigger.

“Maybe we should be a bit more entertaining,” she thought, peeking up at me through her lashes.

Alright, alright, I’m out, Emmett thought hastily at that while he jumped off the sofa to find Rose, who was in the garage.

Emmett wasn’t the only one who’d heard. Grumbles from the few unappreciative members of my family, and smiles from the more courteous, like Alice and Esme.

I grinned and held her shoulders back at arms length. “Later tonight, my love,” I told her. “I promise.”

She smirked, and something about her expression through her golden eyes told me that she couldn’t wait.

Suddenly, a loud thought came through to my head. Alice.

Edward, she called to me, knowing I would hear. The tone of her thoughts was strained. Where’s Nessie?

My breath caught, and my eyes widened as I searched through all the thoughts around the house. It wasn’t even fifteen minutes ago Renesmee had told me and Bella that she would be outside. Lately she’d been interested in various sports, and I had gone out to buy her a brand new volleyball for practice last week.

But I couldn’t hear her now.

“Edward?” Bella said, seeing my alarmed expression.

I flew out the door and down the stairs. “Nessie’s gone,” I snarled under my breath as I scanned the back yard. No Renesmee. How could I have missed that? Where was she now, if she was far away enough that I could not read her mind?

Edward! Alice thought again, and her thoughts twisted around a vision of the future she had just had. It was literally nothing; a gray wall she couldn’t see around. And there was only one thing that could cause that…

“Edward! What happened?” Bella cried out, squeezing my arm.

I was infuriated, but I managed to growl out one word.


Quickly, Bella, Alice and I ran down the road that led to Jacob’s cabin; the first place we could think of. Sure enough, the putrid scent of wolf came to our senses as we approached it, and I could just barely start to hear the thoughts of Jacob. There was another person there as well, and I breathed out a sigh of relief as I recognized the thoughts as my daughter’s.

My relief was almost immediately replaced by fury. I bursted through the cabin doors, and Jacob and Renesmee, who were near the back window, jumped at my sudden arrival.

“What’s going on here, Jacob?” I hissed at him. He seemed surprised.

“How do you mean?” he asked. He was holding a white volleyball in one hand and a ball pump in the other.

“I thought you were leaving for patrol, Jake!” Bella exclaimed.

“I was, I was!” Jacob stood up and came nearer to us. “But when I came outside, I saw Renesmee playing volleyball—”

“My ball was flat,” Renesmee cut in.

“And I brought her back here to get my ball pump. What’s the big deal?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“That would explain why I couldn’t see her,” Alice whispered to herself.

Comprehension dawned on Jacob’s face as he identified the problem. “Oh.”

“You had us worried, Nessie,” I told her, and she looked at me with an apologetic expression.

Jacob rolled his shoulders back. “I’ve got to go now.” He strode out the open door without another word.

“I’m sorry,” Renesmee apologized. “I forgot Alice couldn’t see past Jake.”

“Or that I couldn’t hear you from all the way down here,” I added.

Bella walked up to her, and brushed bronze ringlets from her face. “It’s okay, honey.”

“Daddy?” She gazed at me with big brown eyes. I wondered how much longer I had before she’d stop calling me “daddy”. “Will you help me learn how to serve the volleyball?”

“Of course, Nessie,” I said, smiling at her. And with that, I took her hand and we all raced back to our home.

Other than the brief moment of unwarranted fear for my daughter, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Esme invited the wolves over for dinner, as always, because everyone knew Jacob and Seth couldn’t cook, and Leah didn’t bother with it. They ended up roasting hot dogs over a bonfire in the back yard, and later made s’mores.

I’m not exactly sure what I was thinking when I couldn’t find Nessie. All I knew was that she was with Jacob, and that she was far. It gave me a right to worry.

Jacob isn’t saying anything aloud, but he’s not regretting what he did. Of course he didn’t realize we’d be worried sick because he brought Nessie with him, but lately things have come to a bit of a rivalry between me and Jacob. Since Renesmee’s really starting to grow up, Jacob’s noticing her body’s physical changes now more than ever. His thoughts can be loud.

I hate to seem so domineering over Nessie, but I can’t help it. She’s my only daughter, and I want to keep her preserved and protected for as long as possible. And I know that soon, as she becomes older and older, she’ll start wanting to make her own decisions.

I must end this entry now. I have a promise to fulfill to my Bella tonight.


Be My Friend


I am a quirky, geeky, nice-ish, perfectionst eighteen year old sociopath. (On second thought, that was not a good way to start.)
I am addicted to Sherlock, Star Trek, Star Wars, Dr. Who, Dracula, Thomas Hardy...basically anything that has to do with literature or science.I love reading and food. I am precocious and loyal and absolutely love my fans! ( I am glad to say I have'em!)
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