May 8, 2011
June 8th 1917
It’s been 6 years, 5 weeks and 1 day since I last wrote in here. Each time I have picked up my diary to write, I’ve noticed my last entry, well, my last comment: “Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the man of my dreams.”
He most certainly was the man of my dreams, for many years. Still is. Nobody has ever lived up to the feelings I felt when I met him. When I felt his ice cold hand on my leg. Maybe it’s me being overly-analytical, but I would personally rather wait until I feel that again. If I am ever lucky enough to feel that emotion again.
Unfortunately, my parents don’t feel the same way.
About a year ago I approached my parents, telling them that I would like to move somewhere out west to become a school teacher. I hadn’t decided on the exact location yet. I just wanted to get out on my own for a while. I was tired of being the only person my age unmarried.
My father, however, didn’t believe that it was respectable to be unmarried in a different area. My father had a different idea. A friend of the family, Charles Evenson, had been showing an interest in me recently. Personally, I’m indifferent to Charles. He seems nice enough, but I most definitely don’t feel with him the way I felt in the presence of Dr. Cullen.
My father insisted that Charles would be a suitable husband and refused to support a family and me. Begrudgingly I eventually agreed to marry Charles.
Our wedding is set to be on July the 8th this year. Only 1 month left! I’m not excited about marrying Charles, and I know this isn’t how I should be feeling. I should be so in love that my heart wants to jump out of my chest every time I see him. I should be so excited that I am getting married in a month.
But I’m not.
I know I’m a little on the older side of getting married. Evie and Harry have been married for 5 years now and have 3 children. Pearl and Edwin are also married and have been for 4 years. They have 2 children and Pearl is pregnant again. I always wanted to wait, but my father insists – and I must do what my parents want, so I will try. Hopefully I will learn to love Charles.
Now I know you want to know what my wedding dress is like so here goes. I only hope that my description does it justice:
My dress is beautiful, yet simple. The great thing about it is that it can be worn again. It has long lace sleeves with very delicate frills around the wrists. It’s ankle length with the same light frills around the bottom, and it is covered in the most beautiful lace. My Veil is made from the same lace that covers the dress, and reaches to the floor.
I shall write again soon…
Love, Esme. xxx