mydarrling


Esme’s Diary (Chapter 3: Wedding Day)

May 9, 2011


ATTENTION: Before any of you read on I want to let you know that this chapter is explicit, and not suitable for those under 18… I have warned you, so please don’t shout at me if you do continue to read on. –Niki


Today is my wedding day and my mother is currently running around trying to finalize all the details. My father is wandering around the farm trying to stay out of my mothers way. Me? I’m sitting on my bed thinking.

I know I am doing the right thing and obeying my parents wishes, but a small part of me can’t help but think about Dr. Cullen. What he’s doing? Does he think about me at all? Probably not. I was just one of many patients that he had treated during his time at Columbus hospital.

“ESME!!!” My mother shouted, snapping me out of my thoughts and back into the real world. “Come on, we have to get you into your dress. You don’t want to be late for Charles now do you?” my mother asked….. (little does she know)

“Coming mother,” I said, dragging myself off of my bed and walking into my mothers room to get into my dress.

“Your father has the horse and cart ready,” mother assured me, rushing from one side of her room to the other, as if she were frantically looking for something, even though she didn’t actually pick anything up. She was flapping. Plain and Simple.

“Ok Mother! I’m nearly ready, stop flapping.”

I shall write about the wedding this evening.

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Good Evening,

Well, I have done as my parents wished and become Mrs Esme Evenson. Charles looked smart at the alter. The service went without a problem. All too soon we were pronounced Man and Wife. We left the church together and then went onto the reception. Charles had explained to me that – as I was his Wife now – I was to be respectable and obedient. Therefore I was to stay by his side all evening.

Charles spent the evening celebrating with his friends and family and drinking quite a lot. I hadn’t noticed him drinking before, but we were celebrating I guess.

My father had surprised me by providing some champagne at the reception. I took a glass of champagne looking forward to my first taste of the bubbling liquid. As the fizzing liquid hit my lips Charles turned round and glared at me. I could see in his eyes that he obviously didn’t want me drinking, so I placed my glass down on the table and returned to his side.

That evening when Charles and I entered our new house I was slightly nervous. This would be the first time I would ever have ‘been’ with someone. I had heard about it from Evie and it sounded so romantic. Evie had said that it would hurt a little but to not worry as it does get better.

Whilst I was undressing and getting ready for bed, Charles entered the room. My heart started beating, not because I was excited though. I was nervous and scared. There was an air around Charles, my heart was telling me something wasn’t right. I wanted to run, I don’t know why but I did.

But I couldn’t move, my feet felt like bricks.

Charles walked towards me, an evil glare in his hazy eyes.

“As my wife Esme, you are to do as you are told, when you are told. Do you understand me?” Charles said rather aggressively.

“Yes Sir,” I mumbled.

I jumped as Charles’ fist hit the table. “Damn it woman, speak up when I am talking to you.”

“Yes Sir,” I said louder, fear flowing through my veins. This isn’t right, this isn’t right. This is not how Evie said it would be.

“Now, I want you to take all you clothes off and to lay on the bed,” Charles demanded, with that evil glint in his eye. He was smirking. I wasn’t laughing, I was scared.

I removed my wedding dress, stockings, shoes.

“Leave the veil on,” he ordered.

I Left the veil on and removed everything else, doing as he said so that I didn’t anger him any further.

Laying on the bed, I tried my hardest to cover myself with my hands, embarrassed that I was completely naked and he was still fully dressed.

He stood up and removed his clothes. He stood at the end of the bed and forced my legs apart. Climbing onto the bed, he removed my hands, covering my dignity, and forced them above my head.

“Charles, Please! It’s not meant to be like this,” I begged, longing for the loving, romantic encounter that Evie had explained.

“Just be quiet and enjoy it Esme,” Charles said, glaring at me again. As he said this he smirked, his eyes widened and then he pushed himself into me.

The pain was unbelievable. It felt like I was being split in half. I knew this wasn’t right. Evie would’ve said something. I started crying. My crying seemed to please him. It didn’t take long. Charles rolled off of me and told me to stop crying and go to sleep. I tried to muffle my sobs in the pillow and once I was sure he was asleep I went downstairs.

The tears flowed freely then. I sat down on the sofa, pulling my legs up under my chin. I choked out the sobs and winced at the pain between my legs. I hated this, hated what my life had become, and it had only been the first day. I was to spend the rest of my life with this… this monster. The thought of him made me cringe, made every inch of my skin crawl. But this was the life I had surrendered to. I had done as my parents wished, and now I had to live with that choice.

I had to tell you what had happened. I will write again soon.

Love Esme xxx

 

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