Carlisle’s Diary ~ Looking Back Part II ~The Date

April 22, 2013

Dear Diary:               

       As I was writing the entries, Esme walked into my study. She didn’t say a word. She looked at the diary, then at me. She smiled. I then noticed that she was carrying something in her hands. I looked at it and realized it was her diary. It was my turn to smile, though I’m sure I was already doing just that.

      I can’t help but smile whenever she’s near. Esme’s diary and mine are quite different-looking, and yet each convey our personalities perfectly. Hers is a beautiful hunter green suede with golden lettering and a design like that of a forest. Mine, though also suede, additionally has leather and is brown and burgundy. It was so sweet for Edward and Bella to get both of us these beautiful journals to chronicle our daily lives in. Esme was very excited when she received hers on our anniversary. I have to admit, I wasn’t sure what to do with mine. Until now.

          As I looked at her beautiful eyes, she sat near me and opened her diary to a blank page. She was going to write her next entry. Usually she sits outside on the swing that is attached to one of the big trees we have in the backyard. Today though, she wanted to sit with me. I’m definitely not complaining. The best part of our relationship is that we don’t have to say anything to each other and we still know what the other is thinking and feeling. So as I watched her pen start to fly over the page, I got back to the entry I was writing.

          Where was I? Oh yes, I had just asked Esme to go out with me. Oh boy. Talk about a heart pounding moment. I shook my head and let my thoughts drift back to that day.

November 5, 1921

“Esme, will you do me the honor of going out with me?”

        I waited tensely as what I had just asked was digested by Esme. Her beautiful eyes went wide and, if she could have blushed, I’m sure she would have been as red as a tomato. I was still holding her chin and was looking at her with so much longing that she knew she had to answer me. Finally she stammered out a “Y-Yes-s,” and smiled.  I hugged her, and she giggled. It was the cutest giggle ever.

          I felt like I was a teenager. Talk about walking on cloud nine. My heart soared into the heavens. I could do this. I could make Esme happy.

“Do you have a place in mind?” she asked.

I thought for a moment. Since she had only recently been transformed, I knew she wasn’t ready to interact with humans just yet so after thinking for another fraction of a second.

“How about a picnic in the woods?” I said.
“Wait, but vampires don’t eat human food.”
I laughed. “Who said anything about human food?”

I could tell she was extremely puzzled. But I had already figured it all out in my head. I asked her if tomorrow would work for her and she nodded eagerly.

“Wonderful. I’ll get everything ready and come and get you.”

I was beyond ecstatic. I was going make this a picnic she was never going to forget!

November 6, 1921

       I’d been running around like a mad man making sure everything was perfect. I knew Esme was up in her room getting ready. I was wondering what she was going to wear. As vampires we don’t get cold, so even when it seems like cold weather for humans, we can wear summer clothes. Of course we don’t when we are in the presence of humans so they don’t start wondering about us.

       But I digress, so I finished getting the location all set and flew to get Esme. I knocked on her door and waited. I was surprised to find myself breathing heavily. I didn’t really need to breathe let alone like I was running out of air.

Then the door opened…..and Esme stepped into the hallway.

       She absolutely took my breath away. She wore her hair under a mesh barrette. She had on a yellow dress with white polka dots and a slim white belt at the waste. The dress fell just below the knees and she wore white shoes with little bows on top. Very minimal makeup but enough to make her eyes pop. I don’t know anything about makeup but I know that I would remember what she wore and how she looked for the rest of eternity.

“Esme, you look radiant!” I exclaimed.
She looked down quickly and smoothed out her dress a bit.
“Thank you Carlisle. I’m glad you like it.” She smiled.
“Shall we go?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”

       I took her by the arm and tucked her hand into my arm and we walked down the stairs and out of the back door. Then we ran, with her following my lead. It didn’t take long for us to reach the location I had preselected. Her breath caught as she looked around.

     Before us was a little patch of earth, with trees all around and a little brook nearby. I had placed candles in strategic locations to add to the glow of the place. I let her walk around and look at the picnic blanket and the book that was lying on top of it. Before she sat down, I retrieved the little gift I got her. I walked over to her with it behind my back. I then handed her the bouquet of red roses. She gasped.

“Oh Carlisle! They’re beautiful! You didn’t have to!”
“I know that. I wanted to. And their beauty doesn’t compare to yours, my dear.”

      She looked down again and then at the flowers. She took a deep breath, inhaling their aroma. She briefly closed her eyes. I was doing a little dance in my head while I watched her enjoy the simple gift. I wanted to give her so much more but didn’t want to frighten her with the extravagance. I figured there was plenty of time for that. I put my arm around her and turned her around so that we could walk over to the blanket and sit down. After she was comfortable on the blanket, she looked over to the book I placed there and asked:

“What’s this?”
“This is a little photo album I’ve had for many centuries. I wanted to show you a little bit about me and how I’ve come here. I’m a lot older then you. I was born and transformed in the 1600s.”
Her eyes grew wide. I smiled.

“Yes, Edward teases me sometimes about what an old man I am. But when you’re a vampire, age doesn’t really matter. I know that if I took away the whole vampire thing, you are actually older than me by a few years I believe.”

       I saw her do the calculations in her head. When she caught me staring, she looked down. She did that a lot. I wonder what she’s so embarrassed about. She’s absolutely perfect. I opened the book to the first page that was a drawing of me as a baby. She ran her fingers over the picture.

“Carlisle, you were such a beautiful baby. It even looks like you still. I mean not that you look like a baby….” She stammered off into silence.

I laughed and shook my head. “No no, I know what you meant. Esme please feel at ease with me. You can say anything you want. It’s ok, you won’t make me angry, I promise. And you’re right. I do still look the same though a lot older.”
She exhaled a breath in a “Phew” type of move. “I’m sorry Carlisle. I’ll try.”
“Stop apologizing! It’s okay. Be at ease.”  I smiled, my most relaxed smile.
“Yes, I know. I will. I’m s–….”  Then she giggled.

       And then I did something, I immediately was regretful and fearful of. I figured the only way I would get her to stop apologizing was if I kissed her. And I did.  Nothing long but just a sweet small kiss. The feel of her lips was like connecting to heaven. They were as soft as a feather pillow or the clouds in the sky. I didn’t want to stop but knew I had to. When I pulled away, I was instantly afraid I’d gone too far too fast. What if I scared her? What if she wasn’t ready for it? What have I done? I stared at her with what must have been real fear in my eyes.

“Esme, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s too much too soon, I know.”

I swallowed hard. A big gulp.
Then she did something I was totally not expecting. She put one finger to my lips to shoosh me. Then she took a deep breath and said:

“No, please don’t apologize. That was…very nice. You have been an absolute gentleman this whole entire time. I’m ready to move on. And I think… I know…..I’m ready to move on with you.”

I wasn’t at all sure I had heard correctly. Especially not that last part. Esme was ready to move on? With me??? As I struggled to wrap my mind around all that, all I could do was stammer out:

“Are you sure???”

Now it was her turn to nod and shake her head at me with a little giggle. I will never get over how adorable that giggle is.

“Yes I’m sure. I’ve been trying to figure out how to thank you for all you’ve done for me. I . . . I’m very nervous when it comes to talking about my feelings. But I have a feeling that you and I feel the same for one another. And that kiss was very nice.”

      She looked down again. Meanwhile, my thoughts were going a million miles a second. She took the opportunity of my silence to move a little bit closer to me. I looked into her beautiful eyes. I thought I was going to drown in that gaze of hers and had to shake myself mentally to focus on what I wanted to ask and do.

“May I kiss you again?”
“Yes. You don’t have to ask permission.”

And we kissed. This one was deeper and more passionate. I still consider that being our first real kiss.

       I was so lost in thought about that date and that kiss, I didn’t realize Esme had finished her diary entry and had moved closer to me so she could read what I was writing.  I only felt when her hand touched my face and I looked over to her. She had that little glint in her eye. Then she kissed me on the tip of my nose and giggled. That did it. I grabbed her and kissed her hard. Lord knows us not needing air, came in really handy in these kinds of moments.

Our blissful moment was interrupted by a knock on the study’s door. I broke the kiss at the same time as Esme, we both smiled at each other and I said:

“Come in!”

The door opened and my beautiful, wonderful granddaughter came in. She was only 6 years old but looked like a 14 or 15 year old. Nessie looked at us both and sheepishly retorted:

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”
“No not at all honey,” Esme said to her with a broad and loving smile.
“Nothing that can’t be finished later,” I mumbled mischievously under my breath.
“Oh okay! Good! Grampa Carlisle? I was wondering if you could tell me a story?”
“What kind of a story would you like for me to tell you, Nessie?”
“Well, Jake and his dad have told me the stories about the Quileute legends and where their family comes from. I was wondering if you could tell me the story of how you became a vampire and what your life was like.”

      I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that she asked. But I was surprised to see Jacob behind her. He smiled and also entered the study. Both of them sat cross legged on the floor in front of me. I took a deep breath, stood up, and walked over to a little shelf in the other corner of the room. I opened the little door and took out a book. I smiled to myself as I remembered sharing this book with my love on our first date. Now I was about to share it and its stories with our newest generation; one of them being our so-called enemy but in reality just a part of the family.

I walked over to the two kids sitting on the floor, handed Nessie the book, sat down, took a deep breath…..and started thinking back.
Way back
To the very beginning.

~Carlisle Cullen

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Hi my name is Olga, I live in the USA, and I'm the writer of Carlisle's Diary. I also published a poetry book called "Out of the Abyss" which you can buy in paperback and/or kindle by clicking 'HERE'. I have a ton of hobbies like scuba diving, singing, dancing, and writing poetry to name a precious few. I also speak Russian as I was born in the USSR/Belarus.

I'm very honored to be a writer for this amazing and exceptional character and be part of the Bella's Diary family. Furthermore, I am very thrilled to get to know all of my fans. I look forward to speaking to each one of you. xoxo
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