Carlisle’s Diary ~ The Secret (Michelle’s POV)

June 8, 2013

Dear Diary:

       Ringing the door bell and waiting for someone to open up was really hard. I had no idea how Ness or her family would take my news, my secret. I’ve had this secret for a long time. I mean, technically it wasn’t a secret as my parents and the other Watchers knew. But ever since the Cullen family has come into our lives—including the wolves—and Nessie became my best friend . . . well, it became a secret.

Nessie opened the door, obviously surprised to see me. I took a deep breath and stepped into the house. My parents had wanted to come with me to support me, but I wanted to do this myself. I was, after all, an adult. Yes, I was seventeen when I was chosen, but that was 500 years ago. So I guess you could say I’m around 517 years old.

       I saw the whole Cullen family, plus the wolves, in the living room sitting around. They looked up and welcomed me inside. I sat down on the couch and Ness came up and sat next to me looking concerned. Boy, I hoped they were open minded people.

Carlisle spoke first. “Michelle, do you want us to leave you and Nessie alone?”

“No . . . I mean what I have to say . . . you all need to know. Or rather, I want you to know. Everyone else does.”

“All right then, whenever you’re ready. No rush,” Carlisle said with a comforting smile.

I gulped, then started talking. “Well, I know that Nessie has been feeling like I’m keeping something from her and that I don’t trust her enough to tell her. And half of that is true, and that’s the first part. I do trust you Ness . . . I’m just scared that what I have to say, you won’t accept, and I’ll lose you as my friend,” I said, looking down.

“No way! You haven’t killed anyone in cold blood or harmed someone have you?” Nessie asked me.

“Of course not! Why would you even ask that?” I asked, surprised.

“Because that’s the only thing I won’t accept about you Michelle . . . other than that anything you tell me, I’ll accept.” She spoke surely. I, on the other hand, was not so sure . . . but I knew I was stalling. I had to just spit it out.

“Stop stalling, Michelle. Whatever it is, we can take it,” Leah said. She was sitting on the other side of me.

“Yeah, I am stalling, aren’t I? Well, Nessie you have been noticing that I have been on the phone a lot, texting and speaking with someone. I have. I’m guessing everyone has been thinking I have a boyfriend. It’s something like that. I actually . . . um . . . have a girlfriend. I like girls instead of boys.”

There was silence as I knew they were digesting it.

“So you’re saying you’re a lesbian, basically,” Alice said softly. There it was: the “L” word I was afraid to speak out loud for fear of the reaction. And here Alice just said it.

“Yes, Alice. I am a lesbian,” I said, holding my breath and waiting for their reactions.

“That’s it? That’s the secret you were afraid of telling me . . . telling all of us?” Nessie all but screeched.

I nodded, pressed my lips together. “Yes.”

“OMG, Michelle! I don’t care who you date or who you like or what your preference is! I was scared that you had another best friend or something!”

“No way, Ness! You’re my only best friend,” I said with a small smile.

“Oh goodie!” she clapped her hands like a little girl and everyone laughed. I still had no idea how the rest of the family felt.

That part was answered by Rosalie out of all people. “Michelle, I think I can speak for the rest of my family when I say that it doesn’t matter to us. We accept everyone, regardless of whom they like or who they marry or who they are. I’m sure the wolves feel the same.”

The wolves smiled agreeingly.

“I mean, come on Michelle, you were afraid to ‘come out’ to a bunch of wolves and vampires? Doesn’t that seem a bit strange that you’d think we wouldn’t accept you because of who you like to date?” Seth pointed out.

“Seth is right, you’re in the middle of a supernatural cluster-fuck—pardon my French—and it’s kinda par for the course for things to be different around here,” Jacob explained, and everyone laughed again.

       Then Nessie hugged me, followed by Leah, Seth, Jacob, and everyone else. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe it! Or maybe I could. I had been thinking of the worst-case scenario for so long, I never thought about the best possible outcome; that they would actually be all right with it. That Nessie wouldn’t abandon me. I had dealt with homophobia years ago, and since then have been very careful about disclosing that part of my life. But the Cullen family and wolves have become a part of my extended family, so I felt like I had to tell them. Especially now that I had a girlfriend in my life.

“So—tell us!” Nessie said, bringing me back to the present.

“Tell you what?” I asked with a blank stare.

“Tell us about her! What’s her name? What’s she like? Duh!” Nessie rolled her eyes

“Oh, okay. Well, she’s also a Watcher and I’ve known her for the last 15 years, but we’ve only been seeing each other for the last 5. Her name is Kim and she lives in Oklahoma. She was very close to that killer tornado in Moore. Obviously she got the hell out of dodge, but she has also been a volunteer with the Red Cross—so she was one of the first on the scene. That’s how we met originally, through the Red Cross. She is 307 years old. So I’m older in that caliber, but she was chosen at the age of 27 so she looks older,” I explained.

“Oh wow, that’s really cool! Will we ever get to meet her?” Nessie asked curiously.

“Yeah. She said she would come up here once she’s no longer needed in Oklahoma. With all of these tornadoes, it’s a crap-shoot really.”

“It is tornado season,” Jasper explained, speaking for the first time. I almost forgot he was in the room.

I yawned inadvertently. It was time to wrap up the night. “All right, it’s definitely past a lot of people’s bedtimes, apparently. So let’s go get some rest everyone,” Carlisle said, clapping his hands together.

       We all got up and Nessie hugged me; I hugged her back. I was very grateful to have met her. Everyone else then lined up to hug me, and Emmett joked that it looked like the receiving line for the president.

I was ready to fly home. Ness and her parents were walking back to their cottage and the wolves were making their way back to theirs. As I stepped outside, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I flew into the air with a huge smile on my face and was ready to get some sleep; stress-free for the first time in a while. It was good to get stuff off your chest.

A picture of Kim and I is below. Hope you like it, and her. She’s very special to me.


~Carlisle Cullen

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Hi my name is Olga, I live in the USA, and I'm the writer of Carlisle's Diary. I also published a poetry book called "Out of the Abyss" which you can buy in paperback and/or kindle by clicking 'HERE'. I have a ton of hobbies like scuba diving, singing, dancing, and writing poetry to name a precious few. I also speak Russian as I was born in the USSR/Belarus.

I'm very honored to be a writer for this amazing and exceptional character and be part of the Bella's Diary family. Furthermore, I am very thrilled to get to know all of my fans. I look forward to speaking to each one of you. xoxo
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