Renesmee’s Diary~What now?

January 13, 2014

Dear Diary,

My elbow connected with her jaw just as her arm smashed into my abdomen. I flipped around just as I landed on a tree, the air knocked straight out of my lungs. I stood up quickly, holding my side, and saw Amelia a little ways away on the ground. I took a sly step forward and looked closer. She wasn’t moving. I walked swiftly towards her and nudged her with my foot. She jumped up and spun, landing about twenty feet away. Her balance was greatly lessened by her missing arm but she was managing. I stood my ground in a fighting stance, waiting for her next move. She knelt into a crouch and growled. I snarled back. Did that menacing, skin crawling sound come from me? It took us both by surprise but I quickly regained my composure. 

“We can keep this up all night, Renesmee, but we both know who will win. I will fulfill my masters wishes of your death, and my brethren will take your retched family with you,” she said, smiling and gesturing towards the house. I glanced in that direction and my jaw dropped in horror. A part of the house was in flames and hooded figures were fighting my family. I saw my father trying to fight two of them off Mom. Emmett and Rose were holding their own against three of them. Alice and Jasper were tag teaming about four or five of them. Grandpa and Gran were themselves fighting a ton. Then I saw Jacob. He was battling the man from before. The man was holding him back, trying not to hurt him. No, he was playing with him. The man looked bored and tired. Jacob reared back and growled, launching himself at the man again. Right before Jacob’s jaw smashed down on the man’s head, his arm snapped out and grabbed Jacob around the throat. Jacob made a choking sound and wiggled helplessly. The man tightened his grip. Just one flex of his hand and—  

“Jacob!” I screamed, running to help him but I was thrown back onto the ground. Then Amelia picked me up by my throat and lifted me clear off the ground. She laughed darkly as she squeezed her fingers over my windpipe. No air was getting into my lungs. She thought she had won but with my new vampire abilities, I didn’t need as much oxygen as I used to. I plastered a fake horrified expression on my face and struggled against her fingers. I forced what I hoped was a convincing painful sound out of my mouth. She laughed again. That’s when I kicked her as hard as I could in her chest. She released me and stumbled backwards. I landed and spun around, roundhouse kicking her again in the chest. She was launched into a tree and her head snapped back against the wood. I ran to her and wrapped one hand around her throat, the other I placed on the top of her head. She grabbed uselessly at my arms but I pulled and dislocated her head from her shoulders. I yelled in triumph and threw the tangle of brunette hair into the forest. Breathing heavily, I turned to find Jacob a few yards from me. He wasn’t moving. The man was now fighting Dad and Grandpa. I couldn’t think straight. Was he dead? Oh, god no. I ran to him and threw myself down on the ground next to him. He was still in wolf form. I placed my hand over his heart and waited. His chest rose and fell and I could feel a faint heartbeat. I breathed in a sigh of relief and tears ran down my face.

“Jacob. Jacob, shift back. We have to figure out what’s wrong with you. Please. Please Jacob,” I whispered, afraid to nudge him. He grunted in pain and nodded his head a fraction. A minute later Jacob was lying on his back, human. His breathing was shallow and ragged. He didn’t open his eyes. I took off my jacket and my T-shirt, leaving me in only a tank top. I tossed my jacket over the lower half of his body and began checking for injuries. He had a ton of bruises and cuts, the worst of which were on his upper chest and arms. I pushed gently on his chest and he cried out in pain. Broken ribs. Just how many, I had no idea. He had a huge gash on his shoulder that I tied over with my shirt. I wasn’t a doctor so I really couldn’t tell if any of the bruises were for internal bleeding. We needed Grandpa but he was busy. I got up and gently pulled Jacob to the nearest tree and laid him next it, out of the way of the fight. I needed to help my family but I couldn’t leave Jacob. I snapped my head up as a chorus of howling came from the east. I stood just as they burst through the trees. All of them launched themselves onto the nearest hooded figures and began ripping them to pieces. A black wolf and a tan wolf came rushing towards me and Jacob. Sam and Leah. 

 ”He’s hurt. I think he might have some internal bleeding, definitely a few broken ribs. I don’t know what to do,” I whimpered, gesturing towards Jacob. His eyes were scrunched up in pain. I turned back to them. They were in human form now, pulling on some clothes. Leah came beside me and placed her hand on my shoulder. Sam began inspecting Jacob.

The fight continued behind us as I stared at the only man I would ever love. He was in so much pain, I couldn’t stand it. I began to sob quietly into my hand. Then, I felt another hand on my shoulder replace Leah’s and I turned around to find my mother, dirt-splattered and mud-stained, but otherwise unharmed. Tears streaming down my face, I stepped into her arms and let her rock me. A few minutes later, I stepped away and she kissed my forehead. I’m sure if she could cry she would have been.

The fight was over.

I looked around to see two fires with purple-black smoke emitting from them. The only hooded figure that was left was the man from before; Emmett, Jasper, and Dad were steadily holding him down. Grandpa had taken up post with Jacob and was fixing him up as best as he could with what medical supplies he had. Rosalie and Alice were putting out the house fire with water from the kitchen. It looked like Alice and Jasper’s room and the living room were the rooms gone now. Alice wasn’t happy. None of us were, but all of Alice’s clothes had been destroyed. She was pissed, to say the least.

About five minutes later the fire was out and you could see that about a quarter of the kitchen had been demolished, too. My family was all tattered and covered in soot and dirt. They were perfectly fine; the fire had only singed them a bit thanks to their vampire skin, but their clothes were ruined and their hair was a mess.

I focused on Jacob when I heard him cry out in pain as six of the Quiloute’s, including Embry and Sam, picked him up to carry him into a safe part of the house. The rest of us followed, some of us breaking off when we entered the foyer to start cleaning up the wreck of the living room. I continued to follow Jacob into his room, which had been constructed about 4 years ago when it seemed that Jacob might want to spend nights here to be closer to me. It said a lot about his love for me that he would rather smell vampires 24/7 than be away from me for too long. I smiled internally but my face just wouldn’t cooperate. I was still in a state of despair. They laid him down gently on his bed and Carlisle wheeled in a cart of more medical supplies and began administering doses of morphine into Jacob’s arm. The smell of it filled my nostrils. Would he be all right? God, this was all my fault. I held back another sob but some of it spilled from in between my lips. Sam looked over at me. He motioned for the other wolves to leave the room and then he addressed me. 

 ”He’s in a lot of pain, Nessie. There’s some internal bleeding, as you said their might be, and he may need surgery. No wolf has ever had to have surgery before and we don’t know how this will effect him. He survived about half of all the bones in his body being broken a while back, though. He is strong. Go to him, let him know you’re here. You’re the only thing keeping him tied to this world. Trust me, I know,” Sam said, tapping his head.

I nodded. I stepped passed him and walked to the opposite side of the bed, keeping out of Grandpa’s way. I took Jacob’s hand and squeezed gently, kneeling down onto my knees. His eye’s fluttered open a fraction. He smiled at me. 

 ”Renesmee . . . I’m so . . . happy you’re safe,” he whispered. I gasped softly. He was worried about me. God, this was so wrong. He’s in so much pain and I’m the cause of it and he still is worried about me. I pushed some if his hair out of his face.

 ”Shh, I’m fine. Jacob . . . I’m so . . . sorry. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry,” I choked out through sobs. I laid my head down on the bed. He lifted his hand and my face with it and made me look at him.

“Renesmee, I told you that I would keep you safe. I have succeeded. I’ll . . . be fine. I love you with all my heart, my love. Always have, always will,” he said, and then he closed his eyes. Tears spilled down my face, soundlessly.

“The morphine’s kicked in. He’s unconscious now. Renesmee, I know you want to stay with him, but I need to perform the surgery. I will try my best,” Grandpa told me, putting his hand on my arm from across the table. I looked at him, and back at Jacob. I softly kissed him on the cheek and stood up. As I walked out of the room, I stopped and took one last look at Jacob. I walked into the living room and began picking up things and tossing them into a trash bin.

“Nessie, stop. Go outside, we’ve got this,” Gran said, gesturing outside. I ran outside into the dawn and watched the sunrise. A new day. Would it be the last I could stand living? Their was no world without Jacob. . . . I couldn’t do it. I sighed. I sat down on the porch swing and waited.



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