mydarrling


Renesmee’s Diary~Our Love

February 9, 2014


Hey readers! Just letting you know that this entire entry is the flashback I was leading up to in the last entry :) Enjoy!

Dear Diary,

I turned around in the mirror surveying the long ivy-green dress I had slipped on a few minutes ago. It was gorgeous. It had a little dark green frill on the side. My long auburn-gold hair was curled and hanging over my left shoulder. I didn’t look half bad. I heard something behind me and turned to find Mom and Dad standing in my doorway.

“You look magnificent, Renesmee. Absolutely stunning,” Dad whispered. Mom sighed. I smiled widely and looked at the clock. Quarter to seven.

“When’s Jake getting here?” I asked. Jacob was my best friend. I’ve known him for over five years now. Since I was born. I just entered high school as a junior a few months ago. With my accelerated growth I had to kind of skip a couple grades, but my brain made up for it. According to my dad I was smarter than most adults.

Anyway, tonight was the annual Prom, the first dance I’d ever been to. Jacob had volunteered to escort me. It was going to be so much fun! I’m madly in love with Jacob. He has no idea, of course. I’ve kept it secret for so long. Jake is a werewolf and he has a special person out there for him somewhere called an imprint. I would be devastated if he left me for someone else. So I’ve kept it all a secret. But I was going to Homecoming with him tonight, as friends.

“In a few minutes. I can hear his motorcycle now,” Mom said, her voice a little scratchy. Vampire’s voices only get like that when they’re trying not to cry. I walked over gracefully in my heels and hugged my mom tightly.

“You do look beautiful, baby girl,” she huffed into my shoulder.

“Thanks, momma,” I said. She kissed my cheek and I walked out of the room and down the stairs. The rest of the Cullen’s were waiting in the living room. They all gasped and ahhh’d at my appearance. Alice wasn’t surprised, seeing as she was the one who picked out the dress and she had also done my make-up and hair. They all hugged me and exited the room.

Mom and Dad had stayed upstairs for some reason. I heard Jacob’s Volkswagen about thirty seconds before he came into view through the plated glass window.  I stepped into the kitchen and out of view, my cheeks flaming. What was I thinking? I couldn’t let him see me like this. He jumped out and walked up the steps. He was dressed in a very fitting suit and he looked like . . . well he looked like a man. Not that he didn’t always look like one, but he looked more masculine. More handsome and rugged. If it was possible for him to get anymore so than he already was. He sidled into the house with a bouquet of red roses and my face flushed an even darker shade of red. I knew he could hear my heartbeat, but he was being nice about it and pretending he didn’t.

Pictures of Renesmee and Jacob’s outfits are below along with the roses he got her.

“Nessie? Where are you?” he asked, knowing perfectly well where I was. I took a deep breathe and stepped out of the kitchen. I walked slowly to the edge of the couch, Jacob was on the other end. His face was . . . surprised. He was just staring at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Oh, who am I kidding? I probably had food stuck in my teeth from dinner.

“Renesmee . . . you . . . amazing,” he mumbled under his breathe, but I still heard. The blush from earlier that had dissipated crept back up into my cheeks. I couldn’t breathe for a minute but then I gained my composure and smiled at him. He smiled back.

“Thanks, Jake,” I said, smiling even bigger. I walked around the side of the couch right as he did and we walked toward each other. He handed me the roses. I took them hovered my nose over them, inhaling deeply. They smelled heavenly. I set them in an empty vase on the table.

“Ready to go?” Jake said, holding out his hand to me. I took a step and put my hand in his. He squeezed it and my heart constricted in response. We walked to his car and he helped me into it. Then we drove in a comfortable silence.

“Nervous, Ness?” he pressed as we turned into the school parking lot. I shook my head and smiled playfully at him. I was relaxed. This was going to be fun and I wasn’t going to let my feelings for Jake keep me from having a good time with him, as friends. Good thing no one knew Jacob because if they did they would probably be wondering how in the world he still looked the same as he did five years ago. I chuckled under my breath. He looked over at me with the cutest puzzled look but he didn’t ask. We parked on the far side of the gym. We still lived in Forks, and we would have to leave very soon, but not until I finished my senior year of high school next year. This was my first chance to see how school life was like and I loved it. Grandpa was getting antsy, too. He hadn’t worked at the hospital for almost two years now. The rest of the staff were starting to acknowledge the fact that he wasn’t aging so he had to resign.

“Come on, Nessie. I have to show you something before we go and have fun,” Jacob said, getting out of the drivers side. He rushed over to open my door and he helped me out. It was my turn to look puzzled but he just guided me to the forest edge next to the school, a weird little smile playing at the corner of his lips. He held my hand and helped me through a quiet cluster of trees. Mercifully, we didn’t find any mud or any foliage that would ruin my dress. I then saw a bright light ahead. We walked slowly toward it and then we broke through the trees to a large pond. The moon hung high in the sky, illuminating the trees and the water, making it sparkle like a thousand diamonds. It was beautiful. Jacob pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. When he let me go, I stepped back. He was acting strange. He had hugged me before, he had held my hand before, hell he had even kissed my forehead before, but this was different.

“Renesmee, I have something to tell you,” Jacob whispered, staring off into the water. He looked worried, scared. I stepped back toward him and put my hand on his cheek and forced him to face me.

“What is it, Jake? What’s wrong?” I asked, worried.  Jake had never acted like this before. It was scaring me. Jacob had always been my rock, the person that kept me safe. Now he looked so fragile . . . like one gust of wind could blow him over. He gazed into my eyes and I saw something spark. He leaned down. My breathe caught in my throat and my heart began beating faster and faster as he came closer to me. I gasped just as his lips met mine, and then I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. He curled his arms around my lower back and held me. I couldn’t breathe at all. I began to feel faint, and just before I thought I might pass out, he broke the kiss. I breathed in a gulp of fresh air and let my arms fall from his shoulders . . . but he held on to me. I grasped his forearms to keep steady.  I was blushing so bad. I looked away to hide it. He grasped my chin with his thumb and forefinger and tilted my face up so I could see him. He was smiling. A blazing, beyond-happy smile. I couldn’t help but smile back. I laughed and he laughed, too.

But then I remembered what I had told myself. Jacob could leave me one day and I would never be able to recover. The smile fell off my face just as fast as it had gotten there. I sighed. Jacob’s face faltered.

“Renesmee, I’m sorry. I should have asked permission to do that. It’s just . . . I can’t help it,” he explained, sounding awestruck as he gazed at me. He pushed some stray hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek.

“I don’t understand, Jacob. I don’t want my heart broken,” I whispered, looking away.

“Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I would never, ever in my life hurt you. It’s impossible,” he promised, determined.

I sighed again. “Yes, Jacob, you will. If we do this, if we try and make this work, I could end up like Leah and be heartbroken when you find your soulmate.” I bowed my head as the enormity of what I’d said hit me.

“Look at me,” he commanded. I stood still for a moment before I allowed my head to rise and my eyes to meet his.

“Renesmee, you are my imprint. You are my soul mate, and I’m deeply in love with you.” His voice cracked a bit and his eyes blazed with a thousand emotions.

I stood there, my mouth ajar and just stared at him. He waited for me to say something. Then my mouth curved into a smile. And I hit him square in the chest.

“Ouch! What was that for?” he said, chuckling. I laughed out loud and smacked him again in the arm.

“You’ve had me thinking you were going to find someone else and leave me in the dust for so long! I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember and after all this time I find out that I’ve been worrying myself sick for nothing?” I said, incredulously.

Jacob just stood there looking smug and extremely happy.

“You’re in love with me, too?” he asked softly, pulling me back to him. I blushed at this affectionate act. All the more loving because I knew his true feelings for me. I nodded excitedly. He yelled and picked me up off the ground. My eyes were wide and my laugh was loud as he twirled me around in a circle. Then, he set me down and kissed me hard and long.

“So, Renesmee, would you like to be my girlfriend?” Jake asked me when he let me breathe again. My face split into a crooked smile and I rolled my eyes.

“Of course, Jake,” I told him, and kissed his cheek. He smiled until I thought his face would crack and then he led me back to the Prom.

The memory flickered and then I was staring at Jacob now. He didn’t look much different except that he could have gotten hotter. That same smile I just saw in the memory stared back at me and I smiled back. Then, he leaned forward and kissed me softly. God, I loved this man.

Love,
Renesmee

 

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