Dear Diary (Human Emotions)

February 2, 2009

From time to time, human emotions encapsulate me. If it weren’t for Zafrina —my friend from the Amazonian Coven—I don’t know if I’d be able to show Edward those emotions. She helped me realize my capabilities, and taught me to use them to my full potential.

Edward loves it when I do let him in. Somehow, however, I think he’s quite happy not knowing everything. It’s foreign to him, exciting. I guess it keeps him wondering, which isn’t something Edward is used to. Mostly, I’ve used my ability to show Edward how deeply, truthfully, and overwhelmingly exultant I am to be a part of his world. A world that I, at one point, never understood. A world that is mine now, forever.

I brought Renesmee to see Zafrina as I had promised. Zafrina adores our little angel, almost as much as Jacob does. Zafrina gets a kick out of seeing Nessie’s thoughts, especially when she sees how prominent Jacob is in all of them. Although she will never completely understand Jacob’s imprinting on Renesmee,  she does see that, when those two are together, they make each other smile, they make each other laugh. Edward sees it as well, and he is so grateful for the protection Jacob offers his little nudger.

When Jacob isn’t visiting Nessie, he’s in La Push, back in Billy’s house. Billy is happy to have Jake back there, back home. Everything in Jacob’s life has changed drastically, too. I mean, becoming a werewolf, fighting off vampires to defend other vampires, imprinting on a half–vampire half–human, and finally being able to be present in the same room as Edward without wanting to tear the paint off the walls is a fair amount to deal with. 

Jake’s happy now, though.


Most importantly, he still sees me as Bella. The same girl he used to make mud pies with when we were little. I still see myself the same way, too. I mean, apart from the speed, incredible strength, my shield, and, of course, immortality . . . but you get  the point.

I’m going to sign off for now. I will write again tomorrow. Edward told me today that he has a “big surprise” for me. He’s full of surprises. I will write all about it tomorrow. Wish me luck. . . .You know how weird I get when it comes to surprises.



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