Alice’s Diary — Lakeside

Dear Diary,

I love this cabin!

Or should I say, “this property.” We haven’t spent a lot of time inside yet this week; there aren’t enough bedrooms for everyone and the wolves, who actually sleep, were given preference on those. Edward, Bella and Ness got another room and Rosalie and Emmett claimed the master suite.

I don’t mind. I’ve been outside pretty much nonstop since we got here! It is so lovely at night, with the moon reflected on the lake … on Sunday Jasper and I snuggled up together on the roof and just stared at the picturesque scene for hours.

And during the day, nobody is inside. Even for meals – Esme made sure to bring grill-friendly food for the humans, so hot dogs, hamburgers, steak, etc that they’ve eaten hastily in between patrols and games.

Speaking of games, I love my jet-ski so so so much! The others complain that my being so small gives me some sort of weight advantage, I don’t ride as low in the water and I can get up to a pretty fantastic speed. It’s nothing like the speed at which I can run, but then, I can’t run across the water so whatever.

Now, when Emmett bought all these jet-skis, guess who he missed? I mean, it’s not our job to buy werewolves jet-skis, but it would have been a nice gesture. (Maybe; or maybe they would have been offended or something. Who knows with them!) There would just be room along the dock for a few more … and we could always add on to the dock.

So anyway, those guys can only go out on the water when one of us isn’t using our own jet-ski. Usually, one of them will be sleeping, another will be patrolling, and another will be eating; but occasionally they take a break to have some fun. At least, Jacob and Embry do; Leah either isn’t interested or doesn’t want to appear interested.

Yeah, Embry’s here instead of Seth. Jacob really wants Seth to stay in school, so he has been patrolling around school hours, which, to be honest, doesn’t make much of a difference anyway since the kid still has homework and sleep to fit into his schedule. Anyway, there was no convincing Jacob to allow Seth to take a week off school to come up here – I know, because I heard the whining and the refusals.

Embry isn’t as – can’t believe I’m saying this – fun as Seth, but he’s not so bad either. Emmett seems to really like him, or at least he likes competing against him! He’s always challenging Embry to jet-ski races, or feats of strength, or …

Oh, Emmett. I should have known to get rid of those fake spiders when I saw the way he looked at them. But I didn’t, and Emmett smuggled them up here. I don’t think he had any specific plans for them at first, or I would have seen it coming. I’m sure he had some vague ideas for pranks, but once he got into this friendly rivalry with Embry, his inner evil genius was awakened.

Basically, the two of them are in a prank-off – is that a word? No, I guess not. They are trying to out-prank each other – that’s not a word either. You get what I mean though. After Emmett decorated Embry with fake spiders while the poor kid was sleeping, it was on “like Donkey Kong” as Embry shouted.

Emmett doesn’t have the vulnerabilities Jasper, Edward and I have – because of course, our talents become vulnerabilities when pranks are involved – so Embry has had to get really creative. One night he crept down to the water and filled Emmett’s waterguns with honey – that was wasteful, but hilarious. Watching Emmett try to shoot us with honey glopping out of the guns and dropping straight into the water … oh, the look on his face!! Embry was actually pretty clever about it; he came down to the dock smeared with honey from breakfast, so Emmett wouldn’t notice the smell when he got to his jet-ski.

Then Emmett harassed Edward into finding out what Embry is afraid of, and the next day he ran to the nearest grocery store to buy some crabs (yes, crabs) which he saved until the next time Embry was going into the lake. He set the crabs free right behind Embry and then tapped him on the shoulder. The goofy kid didn’t even realize they weren’t alive … he just went “GAAAAHHH!” and started splashing around maniacally.

I don’t know what Embry’s going to do next; Jacob already talked him out of stealing hairs from Rosalie’s hairbrush and smudging her lipstick on his collar … Emmett wouldn’t find that funny at all. And neither would Embry, when he was recovering in the hospital.

I just wish we had a ballet area here, but Bella says, “It’s a vacation, you’re not supposed to practice.”

I could only blink at her. Does she really still not understand that dancing is fun?

It’s okay, though, because Nessie is having plenty of fun with other things. Like zipping around the lake with us, or with “her Jacob,” shrieking and giggling as she nails us with her guns (she’s got great aim); and exploring the little bay we’re in with Bella and Edward; and watching movies with us at night until she falls asleep. She even got to go up to the mountaintop with Jacob-the-wolf, and then wanted us all to go up there for a picnic.

I don’t know how that’s going to go, but we’ve said we’ll do it tomorrow. I’m trying to picture ripping into a mountain lion while the humans eat their potato salad … we’ll see.

Tonight though, I am working on some new games to play with our water toys. Synchronized jet-skiing, jet-ski lacrosse, if I could figure out how to make an obstacle course on the water I would! This was the best idea Emmett has ever had. It’s like if my Porsche had a rocket launcher attached to it!

I gotta go, these diagrams aren’t going to draw themselves. I’ll report back later!

XOXO Aiice

PS: I haven’t found the villain yet – the person blocking my vision of the recital. I’ve asked Edward to eavesdrop on everyone’s thoughts, and I’ve casually mentioned ballet shows, but it looks like it must be someone who isn’t here. I will find out when we get home!