Dear Diary (Reveal)

Charlie didn’t take it so well.

In fact, he is pretty much in disbelief. It was expected, though. I had a difficult time actually saying what I am. Oddly, when I tried to say the word vampire to Charlie, it got caught in my throat, wouldn’t come out. Edward had to finish my sentence for me. Then, after Edward blurted it out, I actually considered denying it… until I realized how crazy that would have made Edward seem. It didn’t help that Charlie asked Edward to repeat himself, four times.

The funny thing is, when I say that I’m a vampire out loud, I start to question my own sanity. All the myths and stereotypes I heard growing up left me with a distorted view of what a vampire really is. If I learn to let go of those preconceived notions, I think I will start to accept – and more readily believe – that I am, in fact, a vampire.

The whole time we were explaining ourselves to Charlie, Edward could, of course, read his thoughts. This was very frustrating for me because I wanted so badly to know what Charlie was really thinking. I didn’t want to make him scared or uncomfortable in anyway. Edward shot me the odd reassuring glance  to let me know everything was okay, thankfully.

Charlie spent the majority of the conversation with his hand wrapped tightly around his Rainier beer, his knuckles turning whiter than mine. A few beads of sweat drizzled down his face, and his chest heaved up and down as his heart rate sped up.

Once we finished talking, we asked him if we could step outside in the back yard, while the sun was still shining, to show him how our skin glistens. He said he’d “rather not.”


We went outside anyway, though. His curiosity got the best of him, and he followed us. I was wearing a loose fitting, short–sleeved peach colored dress, cut just below my knee. As soon as I stepped out into the sun, Charlie’s eyes lit up and his face had so many inexplicable expressions.

I was petrified.

Again, Edwards mind–reading would have come in handy for me. I didn’t know if Charlie thought it was beautiful, or completely horrific. Then, he said it, he answered my question as though he could read my mind. “Bells, you’ve always been my beautiful little girl. This though, this is angelic. You… you’re gorgeous.”

Finally, relief.

Then Charlie collapsed.

Edward was on the phone to Carlisle, seemingly before Charlie even hit the ground. Later Edward explained he heard Charlie say he was feeling “extremely light–headed” in his thoughts.

I was extremely worried about Charlie, but I was more upset over the fact that I couldn’t do anything for him. I couldn’t risk getting that close to him. I still don’t know my own strength.

One wrong move, and I could kill Charlie.That thought scared me more than anything.

Edward and I hadn’t been hunting in a while, either. My throat felt like sandpaper that had been lit on fire. I knew I had control, for the most part, but I didn’t want to risk anything.

Luckily Carlisle arrived very shortly after Edward had called. Charlie was slipping in-and-out of consciousness the whole time, saying things that didn’t make sense. Carlisle worked his magic and had Charlie back in the house, in his bed, sipping some sort of fluid that had electrolytes in it.

For obvious reasons, I decided to hold off on telling Charlie about Nessie. One thing at a time. Before we left, though, we explained to Charlie that he couldn’t tell a soul. And, I gave him a brief description of the Volturi. He was half–listening to me and half glancing quickly from Edward to Nessie and back to me in disbelief. I told him to rest and figured I would tell him the rest once he recovered from the shock of everything.

I kissed him on the head, then left.

Carlisle stayed behind for a few hours to watch over Charlie, even though Charlie claimed to be “just fine.” Though all of this was very dramatic, the real drama didn’t start until Edward, Nessie and I returned to the Cullen house. I have a few things I need to take care of right now, but I will write again soon and let you know exactly what happened once we got back from out visit with Charlie.