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August

1st

Dear Diary (Farewell Fred. Hello Broken Banister.)

I wondered what would benefit Edward more; keeping my shield draped around him so he wouldn’t feel nauseated, or taking the shield off, and allowing him to feel repulsed in exchange for having to hear Fred’s thoughts about Renesmee. It was clear that whatever Fred was thinking was not something a father would like to hear about his daughter.

“Listen Fred,” Edward began. “I have a gift, too. I have the ability to read your mind. So please do me the extraordinary favor of keeping your thoughts about my daughter to yourself, or you might get a taste of what Victoria’s newborn army had to endure when we ripped them all apart… limb for limb.”

Fred cringed, embarrassed. “My apologies. I wasn’t aware that you were the mind reader. I know you have some very gifted members in your clan, Riley informed us all, of course. I will keep that in mind and try to keep my thoughts pure around you.”

Renesmee was blushing and glaring at Edward at the same time. Even while she was glaring, she still looked charming and innocent, somehow. Edward raised one eyebrow then rearranged his entire expression, leaving me to assume that Nessie was giving him a small piece of her mind through her thoughts.

Everyone seemed awkward, so I spoke up to try and break the tension. “So…Fred, you said you came here to see us. Is there something we can do for you, or…” I trailed off, noticing that Edward and Renesmee were still making faces at each other.

“Will you two please stop with the mental arguing?” I hissed, shifting my eyes between the two of them. They were having a normal father-daughter argument; Nessie sharing her displeasure with Edward through her mind, and Edward, in return, making the ‘I’m warning you’ face. I should say a normal vampire father-daughter argument. Mortals don’t argue using their thoughts, of course.

“I’m sorry love,” Edward said, his beautiful eyes meeting mine. “If you could hear the things she is saying in her head though.”

I shot Renesmee a calculative glance, and she grinned. She looked so much like Edward when she grinned. Her beauty was equal to his, just different. I couldn’t help but think of how normal we actually were as a family, despite our obvious differences from mortals. In a way, I guess it felt good, comforting, to see Edward and Renesmee arguing like a father and daughter normally would.

“I came to ask you about Bree,” Fred finally responded, answering my question, and breaking the tension. “Well not just about Bree. I was also hoping you could educate me a little on the higher power, the vampire law leaders.” He asked the question as if he were afraid of the answer, his expression wavering between curiosity and apprehension.

I suspected he heard about the Volturi. About the control and power they hold. I wondered what Riley had told them. Probably a bunch of lies. When I thought about the girl, Bree, I felt hallow. I felt a slight clenching, tightening, where my heart used to beat. I couldn’t help feeling guilty – those newborns were created because of me. They were created because Edward destroyed Victoria’s love, James, to save me. It was my fault that Bree had her human life revoked, then was later destroyed.

Edward’s lips went flat and all the expression drained from his beautiful eyes. He looked distant and finally spoke, his voice cold, bleak. “We tried to help the girl. Bree.” He choked out her name and his eyes searched for comfort in mine. I moved closer to Edward, and grabbed Renesmee’s hand to keep her close.

“There was nothing we could do,” Edward continued. “The Volturi simply don’t make exceptions. She asked me to be nice to you, Fred. She figured out I was the mind reader and told me everything she could through her thoughts… before they destroyed her. She cared about you.”

Fred darted his bright red eyes to the side and held them there, staring at nothing. Thinking. I heard a low hiss escape his lips, which was followed by Edward squeezing my hand unnecessarily hard.

“Don’t even try it, Fred,” Edward warned.  “They are malicious and will kill you without any thought at all. Bree is gone and there’s nothing we can possibly do about her destruction. Going to the Volturi, to confront them, will get you destroyed, too. I understand that you’re gifted, but there are far too many of them – and to try to fight them for something that is unchangeable, for Bree, is just…” Edward looked down and his voice trailed off. He didn’t want to insult Fred, but it was true;  attempting to take on the Volturi, for something that was already over with, was not rational.

A cold rain began to pour through the leaves in the tall trees above us and the smell of freshly drenched earth washed through my nose. The rain felt like silk dancing down my granite skin and made my long hair fall completely flat, clinging to my cheeks and back.

Renesmee batted the rain water off her big beautiful eyelashes, then placed one hand to my cheek to show me what she was thinking:

Fred seems lonely, mom. He doesn’t have anyone, and because of his special gift – which I seem to be immune to – it will be difficult for him to meet other immortals. He can’t be alone forever. I think we should offer him a place in our family. It’s not his fault that he is what he is. This must be such a lonely way to live. Please, mom.

Fred watched closely as Renesmee communicated through touch, and raised one eyebrow, confused. “So, do you guys even need to talk to communicate then? This is pretty weird… I mean, you’re all communicating in front of me, and I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

Edward ignored Fred and responded to Renesmee’s plea. He already heard everything, of course. Mind reading.

“After the things I heard Fred thinking about you, Renesmee, I don’t think Jake would appreciate him being part of our family. You know how much fighting that would cause. Jacob has imprinted on you. He will forever be protective of you and you know that.”

“Wow. I’ve got a lot to learn,” Fred said, looking as through he were trying to follow people who were speaking a completely foreign language. “Imprinted? So, I take it this is a vampire thing I don’t know about then?”

“Actually, it’s a wolf thing,” I started, wondering how crazy Fred was beginning to think we were. “It’s a long story…” I opened my mouth to continue, but Renesmee  interrupted me to respond to Edward’s comment about Jake. This time she said it out loud, as if she couldn’t bear to hold it in. She erupted and her soft, melodious, child-like voice now stern and somewhat cold.

“So I’m supposed to live my entire life, an eternity, worrying that Jacob will be upset if I so much as look at another male? I love Jacob, more than anything, but I should not have to deny myself of my desire to help someone out.” She pointed to Fred, who was darting his eyes between the three of us, his face smothered in confusion.

Edward relented, understanding where Renesmee was coming from, to a certain degree. After all, he refused to live his life based on what others wanted from him. He met, and fell in love with a human – which nearly turned his entire family upside down. A lion falling in love with a lamb, and likewise. But Edward wasn’t living for anyone else, he wasn’t existing to seek approval from others. Nessie shouldn’t, either. Imprinting isn’t an arranged marriage. She is still free to do as she pleases.

Fred was staring intently at Renesmee, and this time he looked more puzzled than awe-struck. “She has blood running through her,” he said, nodding. “I can smell it, but it does not appeal to me. Yet, she was able to show you her thoughts through touch, and she is the daughter of two immortals. I’m confused. Is she a human, or…”

“She is half human, yes.” I said, thinking of how to explain this one. “She still drinks blood, though. And she is strong. She grows, but is supposed to stop soon. She is part vampire, part human. We hang around a werewolf a lot, too. He lives in our backyard. That might be why you’re not overly attracted to her smell.”

Fred’s blood red eyes widened and he cocked his head to the side, puzzled. “H-How?”

“Again, it’s a long story,” Edward answered coldly. “We have a lot of long stories.” He was grinning now, that grin that could make even my rock hard body feel like jello.

“I see I have a lot to learn about our kind,” Fred admitted.

I wanted to help Fred, too. He was basically left in this world with no direction. No friends and no family. His one friend, Bree, was destroyed. He was given a gift which would be helpful in some situations, but repulsing people seemed like more of a curse than a gift in this already lonely world of his.

I decided that I was going to ask Fred if he would like to make an attempt at adapting to the ‘vegetarian’ lifestyle, but he started speaking before I could get the words out.

“And just so you all know, I am not here to join your clan. I don’t want to try to fit into anything. I don’t know what the girl told you through her touch, but based on your response,” -he glanced at Edward- “I can tell it had something to do with me joining your family. I truly don’t believe I could live as purely as you all do. I know I wouldn’t have the strength. I truly just wanted to hear it from you that Bree would not be coming back. I wasn’t sure how those things worked, exactly. I also wanted to know what my chances of confronting the higher power…”

“The Volturi,” Edward interrupted. “They’re called the Volturi.”

“Yes, the Volturi.” Fred corrected himself.  “I wanted to know what my chances of confronting the Volturi would be, given that I have a special talent. But I don’t want to join you. Besides, I wouldn’t want to be make any wolves mad, or interfere with their imprinting… whatever that is.”

Fred was being honest. He really didn’t see himself living as we do. It’s in his nature to hunt, and kill. Human blood keeps him strong and it’s what he is used to. This life, if you can call it that, was already confusing enough to him. Having to resist human blood would only complicate things more for him. I could still see the vacancy in his crimson eyes, though. It bothered me. I could feel his suffering and his emptiness. He seemed like a nice guy and I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been like as a human.

The least I could do was leave Fred with some advice before he took off, back into his lonely, disordered world. “If you choose to continue on alone, we wish you the best. And about the Volturi, you have to make sure no one ever finds out about our kind. Ever. Never expose yourself to the humans. If, for some reason, you create another vampire, you must control them. Make sure they don’t get out of hand. Any risk of exposure to our kind will end you.” I paused and thought for a half second. There was one more thing I should tell him.

“Don’t let the Volturi know you’re gifted, if you can help it. They will try to have you join them to make themselves more powerful. They’re corrupt and all they care about is power. And blood. Before you go, know that if you need us for anything, or you would like to try living as we do, we will help. We wanted to help Bree. She wanted to be helped, too.”

“Thank you,” Fred answered, shifting one foot as if he were about to run in the other direction. “But I don’t think I need help. I’m not doing anything that isn’t in my nature. Killing for blood is what we’re made to do. It’s what keeps us alive.”

Renesmee bit her bottom lip as if she were trying to hold back from saying something. She could see that Fred wasn’t getting the point and wanted to say something about it. I liked that she was beginning to develop strong opinions that she stuck by.

“Yes, and for humans it’s in their nature to eat animal meat, but vegetarians are some of the healthiest humans,” Renesmee began in a factual tone. “Some humans believe that it is completely unethical to kill anything that is living and breathing. Because they are only weak humans, they cannot kill an animal in the way we can when we hunt. We can do it so fast that they don’t even know what happened. But humans have to cause some degree of pain in animals to eat them, so some choose not to. This is how we see humans. Sure, we can kill a human fast enough so they wouldn’t feel pain – but the pain of their absence is still left for their loved ones to feel.”

Edward moved closer to Nessie and put his arm around her shoulders. He was as proud as I was. She was so incredibly compassionate. She understood why practicing control was so important. Why humans deserved to live. She was conceived inside a human, and is half human, so I figured she would always have a natural compassion for them.

Edward tried to keep his voice casual. “We aren’t trying to preach to you, Fred. Do as you choose, of course. We just see that you’re incredibly confused and don’t understand your options. Renesmee only wants to let you know that abstaining from human blood is in fact an option.”

The pouring rain turned into a soft drizzle and the sun began to set. Fred smiled, a polite friendly smile and nodded once. “Thank you all for your time. You helped me a lot with the information you’ve given me. I know how to keep myself out of trouble now – and have learned some interesting things about what we’re capable of. I’m going to be on my way now, though. For now, I will continue to exist in this life the only way I know how.” He paused and looked at each of us, holding his gaze slightly longer on Nessie. “Besides,” he continued, still smiling playfully. “I prefer bright red eyes to golden ones.”

And he was off.

Renesmee’s shoulders slouched and she let out a frustration filled sigh. She felt connected to Fred. I figured she liked him because she was immune to his special gift. Listening to her thoughts, Edward confirmed that she felt as though that meant something. Like there was a reason she did not feel repulsed by him.

“I’m sure I’ll see him again. One day. Maybe,” Nessie whispered. “Can we go back now? I want to see Jake. I miss him.”

We ran back home and to our surprise, Renesmee told Jake everything. She even told him that she found Fred ‘charming’ and ‘good-looking.’

“He’s a killer, Nessie,”Jake replied in disapproval, and jealously. “Why would you want to have a pale, blood suc…” Edward cut him off with a low growl.

“Well, he’s gone now so I don’t really care anyway,” Jake half-snarled. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Looks like I’ll have to make sure I come everywhere with you for now on Ness’. To protect you from the bloodsuckers and their spells. Seems like they have the ability to wrap anyone around their finger.”

Nessie rolled her eyes and smiled, her brilliantly dazzling smile, then laughed at Jake. She understood. She knew he had gone through losing someone, me, to a vampire in the past and that he was petrified of it happening again. She didn’t want to break his heart again, and she did love him. Edward tells me that she can even picture herself being with him. But, she doesn’t have to clean up my mistakes, either. She doesn’t have to be with him just so he wont be heartbroken.

Right how, though, Renesmee just wanted Jacob to tuck her into bed. “Give it up Jake,” she said through a smile. “And come tuck me into bed, will you?” With one swift movement, he lifted her up into his arms and carried her to her room, placing her on the bed as if she were a delicate, fragile package.

Edward and I kissed her goodnight, then left Jake alone to tuck her in. We were almost all the way down the stairs when Edward stopped, froze on the spot, and ripped the banister up, bending it like a pipe cleaner. So effortlessly.

“He kissed her on the lips” he said through his teeth. “And sh-she liked it. She kissed him b-back.” His eyes were clenched tightly and he was still holding onto the now broken banister. I half laughed to myself and mentally started thinking of when it would be raining next; we needed to go banister shopping.

-Bella

 

February

13th

Adorable Fan Video For Bella’s Diary!

A Bellasdiary.com reader made this sweet video for me and I had to post it! Thank you soooo much for this kare3423 – it really means so much to me that you thought of us! I love  it :)

XO

January

24th

BellasDiary.Com At The Official Twilight Convention: Toronto (Canada)

I am soooo excited to announce that BellasDairy.Com is going to have a panel at the Official Twilight Convention in Toronto, Canada! I will be there giving a presentation (which I’m still figuring out the details for) and meeting and chatting with all the other Twi-Fanatics in attendance! This really is so exciting because it’s my chance to finally get to interact with some of you and meet some of the amazing readers :)

Celebrities expected at this location are: Kellan Lutz, Charley Bewley, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon, Bronson Pelletier and Chaske Spencer!

For info and to buy tickets for the Toronto Twilight convention CLICK HERE! For info on a convention near you CLICK HERE!

This is one event you wont want to miss! Here is the blurb about Bella’s Diary on the Official Twilight Convention website:

I will keep you all updated on my presentation – and, if YOU have any ideas of what I should do for my panel send them to me at: contact@bellasdiary.com

November

29th

Dear Diary (Forever A Cullen)

Charlie’s brand new Cullen crest is in the form of a ring, similar to Carlisle’s, yet different enough to be able to tell them apart. I think, somehow, the ring makes Charlie feel more whole. This entire change, and introduction into a world of mythical creatures, has taken it’s toll on him. It left him trying to find his place, forever, in this world.

I know he wonders what he’s going to do with himself for so long. He worries about finding someone to spend eternity with. Edward tells me, of course. He tries to stay out of Charlie’s head as much as he can, but sometimes, I ask him to check in to make sure everything is okay. Especially when Charlie is being quiet.

A sense of belonging washed over Charlie’s face when he opened the box that held his ring. His bright red eyes seemed warmer, despite their eerie color. One side of his mouth curled up as he examined the ring before putting it on and I could tell he way happy, peaceful. He had been alone for so long, and now, he’s surrounded by a family who will always be there for him. He will never have to be lonely, and he knows that.

For Renesmee, it made the most sense to get her a bracelet, just in case one day someone wants to add something to it. Her link-clasp bracelet is 18k white gold, and glistens like an icicle against her pale skin. We discovered that she really loves the snow, so along with her Cullen crest charm, Edward got her a snowflake charm with round brilliant diamonds on just the tips of the snowflake. The bracelet is sweet and subtle. Perfect for her age.

If you asked me if we should give Jacob a Cullen crest of some sort, I wouldn’t even have to think about it. Yes. I would give him one in a heart beat. It’s not up to me, though. I haven’t been part of this family for nearly as long as the rest of the Cullens, and I wouldn’t ever want to offend them. They have a lot of pride in how they live, and I understand that. It’s difficult living the way we do, as ‘vegetarians,’ always fighting an intense urge to tear peoples limbs apart and have them as a snack.

Jake hasn’t ever had to feel the moral struggle; the burning, blazing fire in his throat reminding him of how easily he could tear up any human and drain their aromatic blood without wasting even the smallest drop. He struggles with what he is, too, but it’s different, less of a moral struggle.

I kept my thoughts to myself and let the Cullens deliberate for as long as they needed to. When I suggested we include Jacob, Carlisle didn’t seem shocked—in fact his face was blank, almost as though he had been expecting my proposal. I asked nicely. Actually, it was more of a suggestion.

When Carlisle asked me to come into his office, I bit my lower lip, anticipating the worst. Although it’s not my decision, I really hoped, for Jake’s sake, that they agreed to officially make him part of the family. I told myself not to show my disappointment if they decided against giving Jacob a Cullen crest. I wouldn’t want them to feel bad for their decision.

When I walked into the office Carlisle was standing over his desk looking down, his statuesque body still, motionless. He didn’t look up at me, he just grabbed a black box off the desk and started speaking, still not making eye contact with me.

“Jacob, well . . . when he transforms into a wolf, all of his belongings get shredded. Esme and I picked out this Cullen crest charm for him to attach to the string he keeps around his ankle, that way it will stay with him.” He finally looked up at me and smiled, twisting the box in my direction to show me the charm.

It was perfect. The hook was large and looked durable. And the crest itself, it had more of a warm, golden-color over it–almost as though someone painted gold flecks onto it. I picked it up out of the box and noticed it was a lot heavier than everyone else’s. Jake would need something stronger, something that would stay together, even after a long trek through the woods.

Edward came into the office as I was looking over the crest, examining every little detail. His half grin made him look conflicted, and he probably was. Edward can’t help but find it somewhat unusual that a werewolf has become such a prominent part of this family full of vampires. He trusts Jacob, but he worries, too. He worries about what could happen if Renesmee decides one day that she doesn’t want Jake around. Or, if she decides to have a relationship with a different boy when she’s older. I worry about that too. I don’t want Jake to get hurt anymore. I think I did a good enough job of that myself.

For now, we are just taking everything day by day. But while Jacob is here, and while he’s making Nessie so happy every day, we all consider him part of the Cullen family. Rosalie might not be completely sold, but, well . . . we never exactly expect her to be the most cooperative to begin with.

We all filed into Jacob’s little house in the back, and I kept the small black box hidden to my side. Carlisle spoke up first and let Jake know how much we all appreciate his presence in our lives.

One by one we all told Jacob how appreciative we were, and I think it confused him. While Alice was talking, Edward mumbled something under his breath about Jake’s thoughts. “He thinks we’re buttering him up to let him down softly. He thinks Carlisle and the rest of us have decided not to give him the crest.” Edward smiled and it seemed to light up the tiny living room we were all crammed into.

Finally it was my turn to talk and the words seemed to flow boundlessly from my lips. I covered everything I could remember about my human life, and of course, everything we’ve been through together since. I love Jacob, and he knows that. It’s not the kind of love you feel when you want to be with someone; it’s the kind of love you feel when you know you always want that person in your life, as a best friend.

After too much talking, I finally uncovered the black box I had been hiding to my side, wedged between Edward’s body, and mine, then tossed it over to Jacob.”It’s from all of us.” I couldn’t hide the excitement in my voice. I scanned the room quickly to catch everyone else’s expressions and noticed even Rosalie smiling.

Jacob popped the lid up and his eyes grew about twice their normal size when he saw what was inside. Time goes by quickly when you’re an immortal, but somehow, it seemed to take forever before Jacob finally said something. We all waited, without interrupting, for him to talk, but nothing. He just stared down at the charm in the box with his now gigantic eyes. Finally, Renesmee went over to him and sat down next to him, looking up with the most angelic smile I’ve ever seen.

Nessie brought Jacob out of his moment of silence, and as he snapped the box back shut, he let us know exactly what he was thinking. “I love it. I really do. I had to think for a minute, about what the rest of the my family would think. I still have to consider them, a little. But I guess after leaving them to move with a bunch of vampires, nothing else could really shock them anyway. Thanks, everyone.” Jake looked over at Edward and added a little jab. “Since I imprinted on your daughter, I guess I’ll be a permanent fixture in this family anyway.” His smile was warm, contrasting with Edward’s icy expression.

Edward still hears nothing but pure thoughts in Jake’s head, so he knows he doesn’t have to worry. Nessie is getting a lot taller now, and her features are maturing a lot, but Jacob still knows he has to wait until she is fully mature before he even thinks about seeing her as anything other than mine and Edward’s little girl. His intentions are pure, he doesn’t need to be reminded, and Edward and I like it that way.

Once we were back in the Cullen house, Carlisle explained to me that he didn’t have to think twice about giving Jacob a crest. His concern wasn’t ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ it was what they would get him that would be durable enough for Jake’s lifestyle.

I am blown away every day by the Cullen’s ability to be so accepting.

Alice made a good point, too. “He doesn’t eat humans, so he’s more than welcome in this family.” Her eye lashes flitted and she danced into the next room with Jasper. She does make a good point. Jacob isn’t harming humans. In fact, no one from his family is harming humans, they’re saving them.

Nothing feels different. It’s not like now that everyone has their Cullen crest some sort of huge change has occurred. But the family does feel more whole. The crest symbolizes devotion to this family, to the ‘vegetarian’ way of life, and I feel like now, we all have something to show for our continued restraint. It feels good.

-Bella

*Thank you to Debbie. D for the inspiration behind the crests!

 

November

10th

♥Hey everyone! I just wanted to make a quick post about a couple of things to do with the site.

1. AFFILIATES: I have cleaned up my affiliates list and am now accepting ‘Elite’ and ‘General’ Affiliates! Please keep in mind that we only accept 100×35 buttons. I have so many sites apply that I can’t accept because a) they will send a HUGE button that wont fit in my side bar or b) they don’t link me. Today I went through and removed any affiliates that were no longer linking me (please have the courtesy to tell me when you remove my link) and sites that no longer exist. To apply, click here.

2. NEW SITE: I am in the process of creating a NEW SITE for Robert Pattinson fans! The site is called RobertPattinsonNews.Org and you can preview it here. (keep in mind it’s not finished). The site will basically update fans on everything RPattz so that once the Twilight Saga is finished, you can still follow your favorite heartthROB! :)

3. DIARY ENTRIES: I just want to reiterate that there is no set date in which an entry is released. Please don’t get upset when you don’t see one by Tues’ or Wed’ – it has just been by chance that for the most part they’ve been posted by Tuesdays. With the release of New Moon and all the promotional coverage, the entries might become less frequent. I also don’t want to run out of ideas – quality over quantity type of thing, you know?

4. THANK YOU: I have been so busy over the past while that I haven’t had a chance to simply say ‘thank you’ to everyone who reads the entries, or even just comes to check out the news. I really appreciate all of your support and am SO happy that there are so many people who share an interest in this beautiful story told by Stephenie Meyer! There will be more contests coming up so that I can give something back to at least some of you, the awesome supporters!

5. CONTEST: We have a contest currently, and YOU could win a LIMITED EDITION $100 New Moon gift card of your choice. 5 Runner Ups will receive a $25 limited edition card of their choice! CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO ENTER!

Good luck to all those who enter!

There is definitely more, but I will have to write a new post sometime soon when I think of it!

Thanks for reading!

P.S. November 20th is SOOO close *jumps up and down*

August

24th

Dear Diary (Switzerland)

“I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are…well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.”

Zürich Switzerland; it’s the most beautiful place I have visited, ever. Actually, Switzerland in its entirety is beautiful. Everything from the city full of art galleries, and shopping that Alice would kill for . . .  literally, to the alps and the country side with sparkling rivers, isolated mountain valleys, hills covered with woods and vineyards . . .  I could go on forever.

When Edward and I first arrived, we went directly to a chalet that was secluded, literally, in the middle of nowhere. He told me not to ask any questions, grabbed my hand and we ran up the mountain. I could see every pure white, sparkling pellet of snow. The icicles hanging off the tree branches were perfectly smooth, glassy.

The chalet was beyond words. I thought I felt my lifeless heart come back to life for a second. The exterior was impressive, but had nothing on the inside. As soon as we walked through the door, my nose was flooded with the smell of oak. The entire chalet was done in oak with huge windows that looked out on the snowy mountain. It was huge, too. I wondered what anyone would do with so much space.

I let Edward into my mind, so he could understand how blown away I was. I knew nothing I could say would possibly explain how completely beautiful I thought the chalet was. I was pretty much speechless, too, which made it difficult to even attempt to say anything.

After I picked my jaw back up, I grabbed Edward’s hand, feeling his perfect, long fingers lace around mine, and I walked with him though the interior to explore everything. When I got to the master bedroom, I stopped at the door, somewhat embarrassed by the bouquet of flowers in the middle of the bed. When I looked down, I felt even more embarrassed by all the flower petals dotting the floor. They literally covered the entire floor. I couldn’t see the oak wood anymore, just petals. Every petal looked like it had been part of a different flower. I saw tulip petals, rose petals, begonia petals and a bunch of others I didn’t recognize.

Edward knows I don’t like presents, or big celebrations. When I saw the large object wrapped in pale blue foil paper with a silver ribbon on top, I bit my lower lip, jutting my jaw out enough to show Edward I wasn’t pleased by him going against my wishes. We promised each other that we would spend time together alone for our anniversary, and that it wouldn’t include anything that came in gift wrap.

“I didn’t buy anything, Bella. I don’t like putting you in a bad mood, so I’ve learned to curb my appetite for buying you extravagant things.” He paused, glancing at the present, then around the room. “I didn’t even pay for this chalet, actually. It belongs to the Denalis. They knew it was our anniversary and told me they would be more than happy to let us borrow it. I didn’t pay a dime for whatever is under the wrapping paper, either,” he promised, grinning that perfect grin that will forever melt me.

I sat on the edge of the bed and sniffed the flowers. The sweet smell was almost intoxicating and much stronger than I anticipated. Edward placed the large gift on my lap and smiled. “Happy Anniversary, Bella. I love you with everything I have in me. I hope you’ll always know that.” He softly placed the piece of hair that was dangling in my face behind my ear to get a better view of my expression. I didn’t look him directly in the face, in fear of turning into butter. I might be inhumanly strong, immortal and indestructible, but Edward has a way with pulling at my heart strings, always.

With one tear of the wrapping paper I could already tell what the gift was. A painting. I tugged the rest of the paper off and tossed it to my side so I could examine the painting that was outlined with a beautiful rustic frame. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the perfect face looking back at me from the oil painting. It was Edward, and his crooked grin. Somehow he looked even more beautiful than ever looking back at me from the painting. I almost didn’t even notice that I was painted next to him, and Renesmee was on his lap. I had to look twice when I saw Jacob in the painting, standing behind Edward, looking down at Renesmee. “Switzerland” was painted in beautiful writing across the top of the picture. I was speechless, again.

“Bella, one of the many things I admire about you is your ability to make a decision and stick to it. You decided to move to Forks, and didn’t leave just because it was cold, wet and miserable. You decided you loved me, and never stopped. You decided you loved Jacob, as a friend, and didn’t change your mind. If it weren’t for you being ‘Team Switzerland’ this whole time, we could have lost everything when the Volturi came to battle. Without the werewolves, who knows what could have happened . . . and Nessie wouldn’t have the one person in her life who makes her the happiest. You don’t have to hang the painting up, but I wanted to show my appreciation, regardless. I love you Bella. I love our family. Happy anniversary.” Edward touched his perfect lips to my shoulder, letting his kiss linger longer than usual.

I love the painting. It’s the most beautiful piece of art I’ve ever seen in my life. Once the shock wore off my face, I thanked Edward, over and over, then placed the painting in a safe spot to make sure nothing happened to it. I knew I was going to put it up in our cabin as soon as we returned to Forks.

Edward and I hunted, to make sure we would be able to endure all the mouthwatering humans that would be flooding the streets in the city. We looked around the art galleries, once the sun set, and of course I didn’t see anything even comparable to the painting Edward had given me. I found out later that one of Edward’s old friends, who I haven’t met, was the one who painted my beautiful picture. He, too, is a vampire. Although I haven’t met him, Edward plans to introduce me sometime. I’m happy I will eventually have the chance to thank him in person.

Our anniversary was perfect. We took advantage of our time alone to bond in ways we can’t always do at the cabin, with Nessie and Jacob there. Lets just say Edward ripped all of the pillows in the master bedroom at the Denali’s chalet. I might have ripped one or two as well. We replaced them with different ones before we left, though.

We are back in Forks now. Alice had a small party planned for our anniversary when we got back. It was nice to have everyone together, reminiscing on all we’ve been through together. This has definitely been a far from normal life, but I wouldn’t take back one second of it. I am happy to be part of this world of “mythical creatures.”

-Bella

EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ here!

XO

May

27th

Dear Diary (Beautiful Nightmare)

Hey everyone. As promised, I have typed out an older diary entry for you. The following entry is from before my life completely changed – before him.
-Bella

Even on days when I’m feeling more down than usual, the smell of fresh cut grass and the hot pavement below my feet seems to brighten up my day, somehow. The rare breeze blowing from the leaves of the fully bloomed trees feels almost euphoric against the smoldering heat. The best thing about phoenix, though, is that it’s a vigorous, booming city – full of opportunity.

I’m going to miss it.

But I’ve made up my mind. After thinking it through–and changing my mind a few times–I’ve finally decided to move to. . . Forks. Even the name is boring. Plain. Simple. I know this is going to make my life miserable. I won’t have the blazing sun pouring over me anymore, or the smell and sight of fresh flowers in Renee’s garden to cheer me up. Instead, I’ll have overcast days filled with rain and snow. 

Great.

Last September my mother, Renee, got remarried. Her new husband’s name is Phil, and he’s slightly on the young side. . . but she’s happy. Phil travels a lot. He’s a baseball player – minor league. While I know Renee is trying to manage a balancing act between Phil and me, I can see that she’s not happy when she’s away from Phil – so I’m sending myself to live with Charlie, my father. I’m going to pretend to be happy about it, too.

Charlie has had an extremely hard time with his divorce from Renee. Though so many years have passed, he’s never moved on. Last time I visited Charlie in Forks, he still had their wedding photo up. I think he loses himself in his work, to try to keep his mind off the painful void. Charlie is the Chief of Police to the people of Forks. Chief Swan. I can already picture everyone referring to me as “The chief’s daughter” once I move to Forks.

I don’t move for another month. I’m giving myself enough time to say goodbye to my life here. I want to soak up every last ray of sunlight that I can. I want to lay on the grass in my backyard with a book, and look up to see the cloudless sky. I want to take in the city. The noise, the energy. I love it here – if I could bottle up a little piece of the city and bring it with me, I would.

Although I don’t have a lot of good friends, there are a couple of people I will miss. I’ll miss my lab partner, Alex. We’ve never hung out together after school or anything, but I would consider Alex one of my best in school buddies. He’s a great lab partner, too. Today we had to separate slides of Whitefish Blastula cells into the appropriate phases of mitosis they represented. Although this would have normally been an exceedingly boring task, Alex made it fun by making corny jokes about mitosis. I’ve never liked Alex ‘that way,’ though. He’s a little on the nerdy side for me. I’m not sure what my type is, actually, but I know he’s not it.

The hardest goodbye I’ll have to prepare for, of course, is Renee. She’s pretty much more of a friend to me than a mother. . . and I’m going to miss her. I want to spend some time with her before I move. I want to make sure she’ll be okay without me, too. I know she has Phil now, but he’ll be busy. I just want to make sure her erratic, sometimes anomalous, nature doesn’t get her in trouble. I promised her I would keep in touch as much as I can. And I plan to.

This is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Starting a semester half way through isn’t exactly ideal. Becoming the 358th student at Forks High doesn’t excite me, at all. Leaving my favorite summer clothing behind and replacing it with thick coats, boots, and sweaters isn’t exactly ideal, either.

Right now, I have a lot of questions. I wonder if I’ll make friends in Forks. How welcoming everyone will — or won’t — be. I wonder if everyone is going to look at me as the big city girl trying to adjust to the small town lifestyle. I wonder about boys, too . . . although I highly doubt I would ever fall for someone from Forks. While visiting Charlie during the summers, I definitely noticed that the boys in Forks were not the same as the boys from Phoenix. The way they dress, the cars they drive, their lifestyles . . . almost nothing is the same.

I already had a nightmare about moving. The dream itself is somewhat vague, but I’ve been getting flashes of it all day, reminders. In the dream I was in Charlie’s backyard in Forks, reading a book on the picnic table. Out of my peripheral vision I saw a tiny black-haired girl run past me, so gracefully. I jolted and sat up, looking for traces of the tiny, perfect girl. The dream gets more and more vague at this point, but while scanning my backyard for the tiny, almost oddly pale-skinned girl, instead of finding her, I saw an equally pale boy standing directly in front of me, maybe ten feet away.

He was beautiful.

Pale, but somehow it made him even more perfect. Though the dream was vague and he was almost a fog-like image to me, I could see that his eyes were a burning crimson. I didn’t move, blink – didn’t even breathe. I just sat there, still, watching his beautiful face. Even though his eyes were eerie, his face was angelic. Right before my dream ended, the distinctively beautiful boy spoke. He knew my name, too.

“Bella, stay in Phoenix. You’re safer there. Stay where you’re safe. Please.” The foggy vision of the beautiful boy vanished with each word.

When I woke up this morning, I didn’t think much of it. But for some reason, as the day progressed, I found myself thinking about it more. Actually, I’ve thoroughly analyzed every aspect of the dream, but still can’t make sense out of it. My dreams never make sense, though.

The funny thing is, Forks has a population of 3,120. I’m sure it’s much safer than Phoenix. What could happen in Forks? I could slip and fall in a puddle, maybe. Or perhaps get belted in the head with a chunk of hail. Honestly, though, Forks is a safe place to be. My safety in the tiny town of Forks, with my Father as the Chief of Police, is the least of my worries.

I’m off to sleep again now. It’s actually somewhat embarrassing, but I’m hoping to see the beautiful pale boy in my dreams again tonight.

Goodnight.

-Bella Swan

 

May

18th

Dear Diary (Awkward)

Charlie’s eyes were still ablaze with the same eerie-looking shade of red that developed once he was turned into a vampire. For some reason, Charlie’s eyes didn’t seem to be fading, at all. In fact, they somehow seem to be getting brighter, almost glowing in certain lighting.

I understood Sue’s completely panic-stricken expression. I expected it. I didn’t expect Sue to catch on as quickly as she did, though. Before Charlie had a chance to say anything, she clasped one hand over her throat and wrapped the other partially around her waist. Charlie took a long, graceful stride back once he noticed she was afraid.

Sue’s eyes were fixated on Charlie, who was now peering down at the floor, not knowing what to say. I was too confused to say anything. I couldn’t tell if Sue wanted to stay to hear what Charlie had to say, or if she was going to start backing out the door.

Edward must have heard something positive in Sue’s thoughts, because he welcomed her in despite her mortified expression. She didn’t answer to Edward’s invite, though. I don’t know if she could actually hear us — she seemed to be in a cloudy shock-like state.

Without looking up, Charlie repeated Edward’s words. “Would you like to come in, Sue?” He looked as though he was cringing, afraid to hear her response.

Sue was finally able to catch a deep breath before she responded, letting the air out with her words, making them sound like a loud whisper. “You–you’ve become–a vampire.” She rushed over the word “vampire,” almost as though she felt ridiculous to say it.

I understood.

To this day, I sometimes still have to question my sanity when I hear the world out loud.

Charlie slowly lifted his head up, eventually meeting Sue’s eyes. She took in another deep breath, and held it – waiting to hear what Charlie was going to say. Charlie was still waiting for her to respond to his question, but could see she had no plans of stepping inside a house full of vampires.

He re-worded it this time. “Well, Sue, if you’ll come inside I’ll explain everything to you. I won’t hurt you. I promise. If it’ll make you more comfortable I can go get Jacob. We can send someone else to watch Nessie.” He moved his eyes back down to the floor, not knowing what to expect.

Sue came inside. It was as though hearing Jacob’s name made her feel more comfortable, soothed her. Her shoulders relaxed and her eyes retracted back to their normal size. The hand she had wrapped around her neck was now pressed flat against her chest as she checked to see if she was still alive, still had a heart beat. Probably she thought she was dreaming.

Although we wanted to give Charlie and Sue alone time, to talk, it would be far too risky to leave him with her right now. Charlie was a newborn, dangerous. We gave Charlie more space, though. Even let him stand as close to Sue as he wanted. He seemed like he had his thirst under control. It was obvious that Charlie was more worried about what Sue thought, rather than what she might taste like.

I stood just in front of Edward, leaning against his granite chest, his arms wrapped around my waist. Although I was trying to listen in on what Charlie and Sue were saying, I kept getting blinded by Edward’s intoxicating breath against my ear. Every few minutes he would softly press his smooth lips against the tip of my ear, kissing me subtly, making my rock-like body feel as though it was turned back into weak human flesh. I broke myself out of his embrace when I heard his velvet voice whisper, “I love you, Bella.” Those words mixed with the feeling of his cool breath in my ear were too much for me to handle at that moment. I may be strong, I may be able to beat Emmett in an arm wrestle, but Edward is my weakness.

When I snapped out of my intoxicated state I noticed Emmett, who was standing to my left, grinning at me, moving his eyes brows up and down. I wanted to go over there and toss him out a window. I looked back up at Edward, who’s lips were curled up on one side and couldn’t help but laugh. Emmett sure knows how to embarrass me.

When I heard that Charlie was finished reiterating his story for Sue, I focused my attention back on her. I wanted to see her reaction to the seemingly preposterous story Charlie had just told her.

To my surprise, she didn’t seem shocked. Uneasy, maybe, but not shocked. For the first time, Sue glanced up at each and every once of us, keeping her eyes on me a few seconds longer than the rest. I forced a smile, wishing I knew what she was thinking. I don’t like surprises, or suspense. At least I knew she wasn’t going to pass out or have a heart attack.

Cautiously, she placed one shaky hand on Charlie’s knee and smiled. The smile didn’t touch her eyes, but it was genuine. I could tell she was calculating her words before she spoke them.

As she spoke, each word came out carefully. “Charlie, I care about you a great deal. You know that. Despite everything, I want to maintain a friendship with you, to the best of my ability. I can see that despite your differences, you’re still a great person . . . well–vampire, now.” She half smiled immediately after saying that word, then continued. “You can call me anytime, and once you’ve become more adapted to your new life, and you are sure of your control, I would like to get together, to see you again.”

Charlie grinned, and his voice was more alive this time when he spoke. “I would like that, Sue. Thank you for coming, you know, to see me.” He moved his head almost awkwardly from side to side. It was like watching two teenagers getting to know each other. It was painful to watch. But I knew he was happy, and I knew Sue was, too.

Sue seemed pleasantly surprised by Charlie’s new and improved appearance as well. Although it was the last thing I wanted, I noticed Sue’s eyes scanning Charlie, from top to bottom.

Right before she stepped out, she gave Charlie an ego boost. “You look good, by the way. I mean, the eyes are . . . well, you know, but otherwise you look great.” She put her head down and walked quickly out the door, seemingly embarrassed by her compliment–or sensing that it made Charlie feel embarrassed. He called out a quick, “Thanks, Sue. You too,” but she was already out the door.

Once Sue was gone we all went out separate ways, trying to lessen the tense, awkward vibe. Emmett and Rosalie went into the garage. Alice and Jasper went into the back yard, while Carlisle and Esme went upstairs. I invited Charlie back to the cabin with Edward and I, so he could visit with Nessie.

As soon as we stepped in the door Nessie reached out for Charlie with a big, angelic grin on her face. Jacob asked how it went, and I responded with a sarcastic, “Well, nobody got eaten.” Jacob rolled his eyes, trying to fight back a smile.

I am happy to say that I can end this entry on a happy note. I’m with my family, and happier than ever. I honestly can’t think of a time where I’ve felt more content, more elated.

Stay tuned for the next entry a week from today. It’s actually going to be an old diary entry I found in a diary I brought with me from Phoenix. The entry is from before I moved to Forks, before I met Edward.

-Bella

 

May

11th

Dear Diary (Charlie & Sue)

“I haven’t seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?”

-Aro

Jacob hasn’t left Nessie’s side in days, except to go home to change his clothes and check in with Billy and the pack periodically. He was lost without her. We were all lost without her.

Each one of us has taken turns blaming ourselves for everything that has happened. But now, I know it was bound to happen no matter what. The Volturi were desperate for our attention. Desperate for us to become part of their coven.

Edward, Nessie and I have been spending most of our time in the cabin, keeping an extra close eye on Renesmee–with the help of Jacob, of course. I was somewhat perplexed when I heard Nessie say that she likes Aro. She even went into her room and came out with the priceless, ostentatious necklace he gave me as a wedding present, dangling through her tiny fingers.

At one point, she placed her delicate-looking hand on my cheek and showed me Aro’s gleeful face. Conceivable . . . considering how insidious Aro is. Rosalie, who was also visiting, snorted at the mention of Aro’s name, then snatched the necklace from Renesmee’s hand and threw it–with a great deal of force and disgust–out the front door of the cabin. Rosalie isn’t fond of Aro, either.

I don’t know which direction everything would have gone if it weren’t for Charlie. This would be the second time he’s saved us from the Volturi since being turned. Impressive. I don’t know what is more impressive, though: Charlie saving us from the Volturi, or Charlie wanting to continue some sort of a relationship with Sue Clearwater.

The pack decided to avoid telling Sue about Charlie, about what he’s become. They saw how her face lit up when she would see him, and how captivated she was by him. They didn’t want to hurt her. They didn’t want to scare her. We all fabricated a story about Charlie becoming sick, and said he had to stay with Dr. Cullen until he was better. She wanted to visit Charlie, of course, so the pack told her that what Charlie had was extremely contagious to humans. Charlie missed Sue a great deal, though.

To everyone’s surprise, he called her.

At first she went off into a worried babble, asking one question after another. I could hear Sue through the receiver, but even if I didn’t have inhuman hearing, I would have still been able to tell that she was interrogating Charlie by his quick responses. “Yes. Mhm. I’m fine. Don’t worry. Healthy as a horse.”

When Charlie told Sue he wanted to see her, just before hanging up, I froze momentarily, not knowing what to think of it. It’s strange how I had no problem constantly putting myself in danger with Edward when I was human, yet the thought of Charlie seeing a human terrifies me.

Maybe it’s because I know that Sue and Charlie couldn’t become what Edward and I have.

Maybe it’s because I know that someone could end up getting hurt–not only physically, but mentally, too.

Maybe because Sue is family to the werewolves, which would undoubtedly be wrong on so many levels.

Then again, who am I to say what’s right and what’s wrong? After all, I turned in my human life to become a vampire so I could be with Edward forever.

Charlie went hunting before he met with Sue, as a precaution. He asked that she meet him at the Cullen home. Jacob stayed back at the cabin with Nessie, while Edward and I stayed with Charlie, along with the rest of the family. We needed everyone there, to make sure Sue remained safe. We trusted Charlie, of course, especially after he managed to control himself on the plane ride to Volterra, but you have to always play it safe with our kind.

This is a different case. Charlie had feeling for Sue before he became a vampire. We didn’t know what to expect.

I could see the sun just setting behind the trees; it looked like flames spreading through the forest. It was one of those rare sunny days in Forks, but I didn’t mind having to stay inside all day. I was in good company. The company was about to grow, though, and I wasn’t sure how I felt when I heard the soft knock on the door. I knew it was Sue, and I was secretly wishing I would have been blessed with the ability to disappear.

Edward slid his hand around my waist and I grabbed it then squeezed it a little too hard. He managed to put my fears to rest, like he always does, when he rested his perfectly smooth lips on on my ear and whispered, “Don’t worry, Bella. She’s excited to see him . . . she’s expecting something much worse, actually. She’s worried he’s going to tell her that he never wants to see her again. She’s simply confused.” He concluded with a gentle kiss on my earlobe then pulled back to look at me, flashing that breathtaking, crooked grin of his.

I had completely lost myself in Edward, so the second knock startled me. I was much calmer now, though. I was partially in a trance-like state from Edward, and partially curious as to who was going to open the door and let Sue in. Everyone just stood there, looking at Charlie, almost as though they were waiting for his approval. I went and opened the door myself.

Sue was standing there, with a somewhat muddled expression. I could see a half smile trying to break through as she stepped inside the front door. Her eyes scanned the room expeditiously and froze once she saw Charlie. She gasped, then dropped her jaw. Without hesitation, Charlie smiled at her, then gracefully began to walk towards her, Emmett and Jasper close behind him . . . .

 

May

6th

Dear Diary (I. Love. You.)

The chaos didn’t last very long, actually. The Volturi and their guards froze, standing there with the most oddly twisted expressions on their faces. It looked as though they were battling between enmity and sympathy.

I, too, gave up the battle. I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted to see what they were thinking, or if the looks on their faces amused me. No one got destroyed. Felix, however, has a few chunks taken out of him and my bite marks, like Jasper’s, will remain. It took me longer than it should have to realize Charlie was causing the Volturi to feel sympathetic. They were literally unable to harm us–even though they wanted to.

Charlie is able to control exactly who is affected by his power. He’s practiced enough that he can just think of the person, his victim, and they will feel too much sympathy to hurt anything. If the Volturi had plans to hurt Nessie, Charlie’s gift could possibly have been the only thing that would have stopped them.

Aro was quick to realize what was going on. Charlie stood there, his eyes beaming brighter than theirs, his face focused, bitter. Every Volturi member in the room became more and more loving as the seconds passed. The ferocity vanished from their faces, slowly dripping off like molasses.

Aro, with an endearing grin on his delicate-looking face, kept his milky eyes on Charlie as he spoke. “I don’t believe I’ve ever felt this harmless in my life. I feel as though I truly love everyone.” His smiled slowly widened. “I can see you are a very gifted family. All I wanted was for you to join our coven, to help make us stronger. It would be so . . . convenient for you to join us. I’m sorry I have gone to such great lengths in my attempt to have you join us.”

Carlisle, the most reasonable one of us–and the one who has known Aro the longest–began to speak, holding his hand just slightly in front of himself. “Aro, I hope you know that I certainly didn’t create my family in hopes that we would be more powerful than your coven. That was never my intention. However, we do live a completely different lifestyle than you do. It would be going against everything we believe and everything we’ve worked hard for to join your coven. I hope you’ll understand.” He paused momentarily, giving Aro a chance to digest everything he said, then continued. ” I want you to know that if you ever need our help, we will be there. Not as part of your coven, but if you asked for our help, we would be there. We, too, do not want our kind to be exposed. So, if you ever need help making sure that never happens, we will be more than happy to help . . . as long as you return the girl, safe and unharmed.”

Aro jolted a little, as if Carlisle had just reminded him that they had Renesmee. He motioned for one of his guards to come over to him, then asked that she bring Nessie back out. I gnawed at my lower lip nervously, hoping that Charlie could keep his special gift working. At this rate, we could get anything we wanted from them. I only had one thing on my mind, though. I needed my angel back in my arms, safe.

The guard left the room, and was back before I even had a chance to look away from where she was standing. My beautiful Nessie was in her arms. I was frustrated, though. I wanted her in my arms. I wanted her to be home with Edward and I. I wanted to watch Edward sing her to sleep, his angelic voice soothing her, making her drift off with a tiny grin on her face.

Aro and the guard conversed for a moment. Edward was listening to what they were saying, and the look on his face slowly lit up with each thought that crossed Aro’s mind.

I looked at Edward, widening my eyes, raising one eyebrow curiously. He got the hint and mumbled a quick summary under his breath. “Aro wants to return Nessie to us. He just has one condition.” He stopped talking before he told me the condition. Thanks, Edward.

I flickered my eyes between Aro and Edward, growing anxious, hoping Edward would fill me in on the rest. He didn’t. I didn’t push it any further, though, once I saw that he was blowing a kiss to Nessie. He looked so perfect. So loving.

I waited, impatiently, for Aro to speak, growing more hopeful every second that the beautiful mini angel in the guard’s arms would be free to come home with us. Alice stood to one side of me, holding onto my arm, also becoming more antsy with each second that whisked by.

We were all mostly afraid that Charlie might not be able to keep his power working. He’s never had to keep it going for this long, and he looked as though he was starting to get a headache. Either that, or he was getting agitated. Either way, we had to hurry this along, just in case.

I grunted loudly, getting Aro’s attention. He raised his head to see where the noise came from, a smile tugging at one side of his mouth as he finally spoke.

“I apologize for the wait my dear friends.” He motioned for the guard to bring Nessie towards us and began again. “I want you to know that I truly mean no harm. I guess I got a little selfish, and for that I apologize. I will give the girl back at once, under one condition.” I was afraid to hear the condition, especially since it was notably absent in Edward’s brief summary.

“I will give the girl back as long as you agree to help us if we ever require your assistance, your special gifts. You see, with your gifts, we would be much more successful at keeping our kind concealed. If you will agree to that, then the girl will be handed over.” His cloudy red eyes moved slowly this time, back and fourth between Nessie and Carlisle.

We all looked at each other and Edward read everyone’s thoughts, except mine. But he already knew my answer. I would do anything to have Renesmee back. Everyone else agreed, too.

Edward whispered something brief to Carlisle, who then passed the message back to Aro. “Like I said earlier, we will absolutely help you out when you need us. We never intended to become the enemy.” Carlisle’s voice was curt and contradicted his smile.

Before he could say anything else, Aro warned him of the consequences of the agreement. “You do know, my dear Carlisle and friends, that you could lose a family member in your attempts to help us. It does come with the territory.” He shot his milky eyes down at the ground with feigned concern.

“We understand, Aro.” Edward’s voice was like velvet. I could see that this was coming to an end, and Edward’s short response was a clear indication that he, too, was becoming impatient, anxious.

I was confused when Edward looked back at Charlie and asked him to release his power. Charlie was confused, too, but complied. I assumed Edward felt safer now that the agreement was made, and he wanted to make sure they would stick to their word. It would be pointless to have them agree to something while under Charlie’s power, only to have them go back on it as soon as he released it.

Everyone’s face hardened as soon as Charlie stopped controlling them. I even heard a few hisses. Aro’s face was still joyous-looking, though, and he asked the guard to place Nessie in my arms. I was careful not to hold her too tight, although it was hard not to. We all crowded around her, taking turns holding her. I kissed the top of her head more times than I can count. Edward scooped her out of my arms and told her which songs he was going to sing to her once they got back home. She smiled, her eyes lighting up with each word. Esme held onto Renesmee while Edward and I stepped forward to thank Aro, begrudgingly. He was baffled by the love we all poured out to Renesmee, by the humanity he saw in all of us. After he said goodbye to each of us, he asked Jane and Alec to escort us back out.

Alec tried to make small talk with Charlie along the way. “That’s quite the gift you have there. I actually felt as though I would be unable to harm a human, no matter how thirsty.” Charlie wasn’t up for talking. He flashed a half smile that didn’t meet his eyes and choked out an almost painfully sarcastic, “Mhm.” I laughed. One thing you can never accuse Charlie of is being fake. You always know what he’s thinking.

We were welcomed back home by Jacob curled up on the floor beside Nessie’s bed, weeping. He looked too big to be curled up in such a vulnerable position. When he saw that Nessie was with us he shot up and I could have sworn her wiped a small puddle of tears from the side of his face.

Nessie was in his arms in an instant, laughing with her tiny hand placed gently on his cheek. She was showing him everything that happened through her thoughts. His face was like watching a movie in fast forward, and the expressions went up and down as he processed everything she showed him. Nessie removed her hand from his cheek, looked up at his russet face and said, “I love you,” before yawning and laying her head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, Nessie.” Jacob’s face was warm and full of relief.

-Bella

 

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