Dear Diary (New Beginnings)

The house is impressive, but my enthusiasm stops there. The town itself is great, it just doesn’t feel like home. The rest of the Cullen’s, and even Charlie, are already somewhat settled in. Somehow, even though I loathed Forks when I first moved there, I loathed leaving even more.

Our new house is just outside of Hanover, New Hampshire in a a small community named Etna. With only 814 residents, Etna is smaller than Forks. Hanover is only a quick ten minute drive, and an even faster run from our house, though, which is where we go to school, at Dartmouth. Edward, ironically, found a place called Swan Lake Trail which is about a two hour drive from here. We plan on hunting there together tonight.

It is getting cold here already, which is a good thing for our kind. We get to cover up with jackets, hats and scarves, concealing our granite, bloodless skin. Although we don’t actually feel the cold, we have to pretend we do, of course. We have to pretend a lot of things.

Our moving trucks arrived at midnight like planned, and loading them up was almost as upsetting as packing was. Edward, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett helped the movers load everything while trying to look as human as possible. Emmett slipped up once, though, and lifted the entire couch himself, effortlessly, right in front the youngest of the two movers. I noticed Edward’s eyes dart over to the man, who had his eyes locked on Emmett, and I knew he was reading his thoughts to see if the mover suspected anything. Emmett dropped the couch after he realized what he did and started mumbling something under his breath about how heavy the couch was. When we went back into the house to make sure we didn’t miss anything, Edward told me exactly what the man thought. “He didn’t suspect anything. I heard him earlier, thinking about how tall and muscular he thought Emmett looked. When Emmett lifted the couch, the man was simply blown away because he didn’t realize he would be quite that strong.” Edward grinned, and my cold body started to melt, every ounce of my existence felt like it was dripping onto the floor like a melted ice sculpture.

The flight was painful, to say the least. A little boy who was sitting in a seat directly behind us cut his finger open on a toy before boarding the plane. The wound was fresh and the smell was… aromatic, causing us all to feel the burning lava in our throats. We help each other, though. Jasper created an overall sense of calmness, while Charlie put his gift to good use by making us all feel almost overwhelmingly guilty. No one on that flight became a meal, thankfully.

When we arrived at the new house, I was blown away. Set deeply in about four different types of trees and tucked tightly away from the road, the house beamed with originality and Victorian Flair. Much different from the large white house in Forks. The huge off white wraparound porch stood out from the dark, reddish brick that covered the entire house. The “gingerbread trim” was the same color as the porch creating a beautiful overall contrast. The windows were huge and some were covered in vines. The leaves in the front yard were all different colors, from bright yellow to orange, and they covered the grass almost entirely.

The inside of the house was immaculate. Again, much different from the house in Forks. The front foyer was spacious and flowed into the rest of the house without walls separating the rooms. The huge winding staircase has a gold and dark-red runner going up the center of the dark truffle colored hardwood steps. The Ornamental brass railing on one side is anomalous and fits perfectly with the feel of the house.

Aside from the walls being pure white, the rest of the house has a lot more dark qualities than the Cullen’s last house – it is still very bright inside, just more vibrant. The kitchen looked like any kitchen that would come with an overpriced home like this one. Jacob was more concerned with that part of the house than we were. We wouldn’t get any use out of thekitchen, of course.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I went downstairs and saw the private small home Carlisle promised  Edward and I. Esme had come down to New Hampshire earlier and completely recreated the raised basement to look like our cabin in Forks. Everything was the same. Identical. If it were possible for me to cry, tears would have been spilling out of my eyes and down my face. Edward already knew. Unfortunately when you can read minds, surprises lose all meaning. He was still blown away by how exact Esme managed to make everything and by the fact that she put so much thought into this for us.  I still don’t know how to thank her for everything. I will think of something, though.

Jacob fell in love with his small home in the backyard. It is his – something to call his own. Carlisle had a second room built in for Renesmee in Jacob’s small home. He figured she would be spending a lot of time there with Jacob. The inside of Jacob’s house is simple, the way he likes things. He has his own small kitchen, a bathroom, the two bedrooms and a stone fireplace – which I am assuming is for looks considering Jake is pretty much a heater himself.

Edward keeps telling me to give New Hampshire a chance. He thinks that with time I will grow to love it almost as much as Forks. It is hard for him to completely understand how significant Forks is to me, though. I haven’t lived very long, and for the short time I have lived, a lot of great things have happened. All of them took place in Forks. I am, however, more than happy that Esme recreated our cabin from Forks – sometimes I like to pretend we never left, that I am in our small home in Forks and that everything is back to normal.

In my next entry I will let you know how Edward’s and my hunting trip went, and of course let you know how our first day of school went. It was interesting – at least the looks people gave us were interesting.


EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ HERE.




Dear Diary (Goodbye Forks)

I took the beautiful, unique, oval ring from my left ring finger and without wanting to, I placed it on the pale, smooth ring finger on my right hand. Edward watched, his painful expression matching mine. This was about so much more than simply having to switch which hand my ring would be kept. This was the first step to a whole different life, a new identity. For someone who has never been good at lying, I was about to have to spend a lot of time doing it, or at least trying to.

Jacob is excited about our move to New Hampshire, oddly. Renesmee seems to be approaching the same maturity level as Jacob which has brought them closer together than ever. Once we, the Cullens… vampires, have left Forks, the wolves wont have to phase anymore, but Jake will be with us and continue to phase, which will allow him to stay with Nessie, always. This move is making him happy for more reasons than that, though. Jacob has always felt like he would be stuck in La Push forever, and he didn’t want that. I guess he sees this move to New Hampshire as a new beginning. I wish I could be so positive about it.

It’s fascinating, to see how used to this the rest of the Cullens are. They already have everything packed up and ready to go. No one sat around slowly packing boxes and reminiscing on old photos or souvenirs. It almost looked like routine. Their faces were expressionless, if not serene looking. I felt like I wanted to die inside. Everything I am, everything that means anything to me started in this town. I met Edward here. My life. Got reintroduced to Jacob, my best friend. I gave birth to my perfect angel in Forks and then so may things happened in between. I wanted to break down but everyone else was so calm, excited to start over.

I let Edward into my head in hopes that he could see how hard this is for me. I needed to talk about but, but I didn’t want to seem selfish. This is something that had to be done for our safety and all I could think was “I want to stay, forever.” Without even the slightest hesitation, Edward placed his smooth finger to my lips and in a low, silk like voice made it all better. “Bella, remember when you had a hard time leaving your Mother, in Phoenix? How you hated the thought of leaving behind everything you loved for this cold, gloomy town? It’s a normal reaction. You haven’t lived nearly as long as us, so this is all new to you. You’re not selfish, Bella. If anything we have been the selfish ones, for neglecting to take into consideration that this is all so new to you, and Charlie. I can promise you that once you’ve done this a number of times – you will get used to it. It will almost become second nature.” He half frowned, trying to match my mood.

I knew Edward was right, that my fear was a normal reaction that would pass with time. I had to stop and remind myself that he is the reason I’m here. I became what I am to be with Edward forever, and if that means moving all over the world, then that’s what I will do. Besides, I could be happy living in a tree as long as I had Edward and my family with me.

I have to admit, I am dreading school more than anyone could ever know. Not the school part so much, more so having to watch every single move I make to ensure I don’t slip up in any way that would let on that we are different. I’m not used to pretending. Not to this extreme, anyway. Carlisle told us to try to keep to ourselves as much as possible. It’s dangerous to make human friends for obvious reasons – but there’s so much more to it than that. We can’t make friends because even if we don’t slip up and have them as a meal, we could accidentally reveal that we are not human. It’s not hard to tell just by being near us for a few minutes as it is. There is simply no room for error.

In an attempt to remain discreet, we will be leaving in the middle of the night. Sometimes people in small towns can be nosy – so it’s better this way. The moving trucks will be here at midnight and we will all catch a flight shortly after. I haven’t seen the new  house yet, but Carlisle showed us pictures, and it is definitely impressive from what I could tell. Like I mentioned before, we are keeping the Cullen house, Charlie’s house and the cabin. We want everything to be the same for when we move back to Forks. After everyone has passed on. It’s sad to think about it that way. Almost eerie. Of course, we will come back to Forks for visits. Our cabin is always there when we need it.

I will let you know how everything worked out next week. I know that as long as I have Edward, everything will be okay. I hope.


EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ HERE.




More photos from the Eclipse set!!!!

edward cullen, eclipse movie Eclipse Movie Set, Edward Cullen Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, Eclipse Movie Carlilse Cullen, Eclipse Movie Peter Facinelli as Carlisle Cullen Carlisle in Eclipse Movie Emmett Cullen, Kellan Lutz, Eclipse Movie Set Emmett Cullen on Eclipse set, Eclipse the Movie

More great pics form the Eclipse set. You can see Robert Pattinson, Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz all in character!




Pictures of Robert, Peter and Ashley from Eclipse Movie Set!

Some pics of Robert Pattinson in character as Edward Cullen, Peter Facinelli in character as Carlisle Cullen & Ashley Greene not in character on the Eclipse Movie set! Enjoy!




Two *NEW* New Moon Movie Stills…

Bella Swan's Birthday, Edward's Crooked Smile, New Moon The Movie

Check out the gorgeous *new* New Moon Movie Stills! So vibrant and check out Edward’s crooked smile back there. Swoon.

Thanks to ROBsessed & RobPattzNews!



Peter Facinelli has a hard time with his lines…

This is just soooo sweet. I love Peter SOOOOO much for everything he does. I hope he can be an inspiration to other young actors to use their name for good.

This is what the poster wrote about this video:

“Peter was in Portland, OR on 8/29/09 for a meet and greet fundraiser to benefit Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. I won the chance to meet him beforehand with just a few others. This is him using my book to explain the Cullen Crest and him trying to do a vid for the radio station. He is the nicest guy ever! I am officially Team Carlisle now!”





Nikki Reed takes over Peter Facinelli’s Twitter to tell us something…

Anyone who follows  Peter Facinelli (who plays Carlisle Cullen) on Twitter knows that he has been trying to get the message out that there are loads of fake Twitter accounts. He tries to protect his co-stars by sending out the message via his own twitter that anyone saying they are Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Taylor Lautner, Kellan Lutz etc are not real. Some of these fakers start bad rumors, so it’s important to never listen to the Tweets of fakes.

To help Peter out, Nikki Reed took over his Twitter to tell everyone that SHE IS NOT ON TWITTER! All the Nikki Reed’s on Twitter are fakes! So form Nikki herself, “Don’t follow then.”



Video fo Peter Facinelli leaving the Eclipse graduation set!

Peter Facinelli waves as fans as he leaves the Eclipse graduation set in Vancouver.

via RobPattzNews



Peter Facinelli leaving graduation set!

Peter Facinelli was seen leaving the graduation scene and waving to fans on his way out.

See more photos at Twilight-Gossip!



Peter Facinelli Says ‘Thank You’… plus pics from meet and greet!

Yesterday Peter Facinelli Tweeted a ‘Thank You’ to everyone who attended the Red Cross Blood Drive! Also, a reader was sweet enough to send us some pictures from Peter’s visit to the the Pembroke Mall, Virginia Beach, VA Meet and Greet!

All these pics are incredible. What Peter does with his spare time (helping charities) is incredible, too! Peter, I think we all owe YOU a ‘thank you’ for using your name for good!

Thank you sooo much to Alice G. for the beautiful pictures! XO

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