Note: This entry is from Emily’s perspective.
“Are you nervous?” I ask Sam.
We are holding hands across the front seat of Sam’s car on our way to my parent’s house in Makah for a New Year’s get together. Sam’s mom, Allison, is asleep in the backseat. I had offered her the front seat but both she and Sam insisted I take shotgun.
“A little, ” Sam admits with an anxious chuckle.
“It’s okay, ” I tell him. “They’ll love you.”
I squeeze Sam’s hand and he lifts my fingers to his lips, kissing them gently.
“Who’s running tonight?”
“Nobody, but they’re each supposed to run a quick lap, every time they get a chance.”
I nod. “Things been pretty quiet lately?”
“Yeah, which is good, but also means Jacob probably won’t be phasing anytime soon.”
“You’re ready for him to take over?”
“More than ready. It’s okay being in charge, but it’s a lot of responsibility. I’d rather spend more time with you, ” Sam explains with a smile. He leans over and kisses my cheek, never taking his eyes from the road.
We slow down at the edge of town and I direct Sam through the streets to my family’s small house. The house isn’t really that small in comparison to the majority of homes in Makah, but it is compared to where I live now.
Allison yawns from the back seat and both Sam and I glance back to see her stretching, her eyes glazed over from her nap.
“This one here, ” I say to Sam, pointing to the yellow house.
He pulls up next to the curb and we climb from the car. Sam retrieves the soda we brought from the backseat and then joins me and Allison on the sidewalk. I let us into the house and we follow the noise to the kitchen.
“Emi!” My two year old niece cries, running towards me.
I let go of Sam’s hand and lift her into my arms.
“Hi, Claire!” I exclaim.
“How are you, Em?” My mom asks.
“Good, ” I say taking hold of Sam’s arm and smiling at him. “This is Sam, and his mother, Allison. And this is my mom, Christa, my dad, John, my brother, Luke, and his daughters Cally and Claire, ” I introduce everyone, pointing and gesturing to each person as I say their name.
They all say hello and greet each other and my mother leads Allison further into the kitchen, chatting up a storm. Sam strikes a conversation with my father, and they head outside leaving me with Luke and his girls.
“Where’s Amy?” I ask about Luke’s wife.
The last time I talked to Luke was just before Christmas and he and Amy were not having the best time. She was hardly ever home and when she was, she was sleeping, leaving Luke to take care of the girl’s, provide money to pay the bills, cook, and clean.
Luke shakes his head and a look of sadness crosses over Cally’s face. I make a mental note to ask later when the girls aren’t around.
Mom ushers me and Allison into the kitchen and the men go to the family room with Claire. Cally disappears outside, a notebook in her hand.
I join Mom in loading the dishwasher, our backs to Allison who begins wiping down the counters.
“We’re so glad you could make it,” Mom tells Allison. “You must have done well in raising your son to make Emily leave Makah for him.”
Allison nods, “Thanks for having me. He’s a good boy. I think he could make any girl fall for him.”
I frown, upset at her seeming disbelief in the reality of our love. Pretending to look at the clock, I sneak a glance back to see that Allison is yawning, forcing a break in her words.
“But he’s very lucky to have Emily. She’s a hard worker and not totally dependent on Sam like some of his girlfriends in the past have been.”
A glare forms on my face. The only other girlfriend Sam has ever had to my knowledge is Leah and I hate what she’s implied about her. As I reach for another dish, I find that we’ve finished.
“Anything else you need, Mom?” I ask.
“Nope, I think we’re set.”
I reluctantly leave the kitchen and head outside since through the window on the backdoor I can see Cally still in the yard. She’s sitting on a swing staring at the ground in deep thought. The notebook is on the grass a few feet away. I take the 2nd swing and sway lightly back and forth.
“How’s it going, Cal?”
She sighs. “I don’t know.”
“Life giving you some pretty sour lemons?” I ask.
“Yeah, I guess,” Cally hadn’t looked at me until now when she turns her head up and I see the wet streaks running from her eyes.
“If you ever need to just talk, call me. Or have your dad drive you up. I know how rough things can get sometimes. I can always come find you too. Okay?”
Cally sniffs, “M’kay.”
We are quiet for a moment and I am about to go find Sam when she speaks again.
“It’s just…I’m afraid my mom’s going to leave us, you know? I heard you and Dad talking when we were at your house just before Ann and I came back from the beach.”
Alarm crosses through my mind but I keep a neutral expression. “You did?”
“I’m sorry, Cally. It’s just…sometimes couples just can’t be happy together anymore. It might mean that things will get even better for you guys. Wouldn’t it be easier if you didn’t have to be rejected by your mom every time you want her to do something with you? She wouldn’t be around to ask, but what if your dad found someone else who stayed home with you and Claire all the time? Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Cally sniffs again and shrugs.
“You know Seth’s older sister Leah?” Cally nods and I continue, “Well she and I used to be best friends. We did everything together. We even made a pact that we would help each other plan our weddings. Then boys came along. She started dating Sam Uley—”
“Wait, ” she stops me. “Sam that came with you tonight?”
I nod, “I hadn’t been going to Leah’s as much after that since we were both more busy with our lives. I hadn’t even met Sam officially, only seen him from a distance and in pictures. One day, I went to visit and I got to where we were all eating before Leah did. Sam was already there. I suppose you could say it was love at first sight. Everything was different after that. And even though they loved each other, it just wasn’t meant to be. Sometimes it’s not.”
After a while, we all end up in the backyard, watching the display of sky fireworks set off by the town. It’s eleven-thirty and Claire has been asleep for a few hours inside on the couch. Cally insists on staying up until midnight but she yawns more and more as the time goes by.
I’ve hardly been with Sam all evening because he’s been busy talking and laughing with my family. He was the one who put Claire to sleep, rocking her and singing, since she wouldn’t let anyone else. That makes me look forward to our future; on those sleepless nights when our baby won’t stop crying, Sam will get up and gently rock them to sleep, allowing me a few much needed minutes of sleep.
“How’s it going, beautiful?” Sam’s familiar voice whispers warm into my ear.
I smile and turn to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“Good, except I’ve hardly seen you tonight, ” I say.
“Well you were right, they love me, ” Sam says with a smile.
“I knew they would.”
Sam doesn’t say anything and instead kisses my head. Luke comes to stand by us and Sam lets go of my so we can both face him. He keeps one arm wrapped tightly around my waist.
“So, Amy?” I ask Luke.
“She’s supposedly at a party for work. One that families weren’t invited to,” he explains. His face is worn and he looks much older than the last time I saw him, only weeks ago.
I draw my lips into a hard line. “You don’t think that’s where she really is?”
“No. What kind of workplace does that? And more importantly, what kind of mom abandons her family on a holiday to go to a work party?”
Sam and I don’t answer his questions.
“I’m sorry, Luke. That must be hard.”
He nods and his eyes travel to Cally who gets closer to sleeping every minute. She’s now moved to a lawn chair and her chin rests in her hand.
“I’m happy for you though, sis. You two seem perfect for each other.”
I smile and turn to see that Sam is too. He kisses my lips quickly just as my parents and Allison come to join our circle.
“Thanks,” Sam says to Luke and then turns to my parents. “You raised the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met.”
My parents smile and as happy as I am, the smile on my own face falters as Leah enters my mind.
“It’s time, it’s time!” Cally exclaims, looking at her watch. “Ten!”
I join in counting, as do the others, grateful for the distraction from my thoughts.
Later when it is time to leave, we say our goodbyes and climb in the car and head home.
We are all tired and I’ve lost my excitement for the new year, my thoughts focused on Luke and Amy, on Leah.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy Leah’s Diary! Join us on Facebook here! I love to hear from my readers.
So this is what Leah felt like when Sam first went missing, I think to myself. The thought makes me feel even worse after talking to her at the store. I haven’t seen or talked to Sam since that day in the forest. I feel so bad for the things that I said to him. Jared, Paul and now Embry all say they haven’t seen him. He hasn’t been home, and he hasn’t called.
The doorbell rings and I turn off the TV, since nothing good was on anyways, and open the door. Jared stands there with Paul beside him. I invite them in and offer them cookies, which they each take several of. I’ve learned to always make extra of everything, doubling or tripling the recipe since I know none of it will ever go to waste.
“Have you guys heard anything?” I ask when they are seated at the table munching down cookies.
Jared nods. “Actually yes.”
“What?” I ask excitedly. I miss Sam so much.
“He’s back. He’s . . . ,” Jared says.
“Having a hard time, ” Paul finishes, and Jared nods again
“He wanted us to be here when he came over—just in case.”
I sigh but my heartbeat quickens. “When is he coming?”
“He should be here anytime, ” Paul answers.
As if summoned by their words, the doorbells rings. I go to answer it and am quickly flanked by Jared and Paul. Jared takes the lead and opens the door. Sam stands there, looking handsome as ever, cleanly shaven.
“Sam,” I say and dive into his arms. Paul and Jared hesitate beside us, not knowing whether to intervene. Sam hesitates too, to wrap his arms around me but he does.
“I missed you so much, ” I tell him, and he lets go.
I take a step back to see him better. Paul and Jared hover nervously and Sam nods. His hand reaches toward me and stops. He drops it and then lifts it again, closer to my face this time.
“It’s okay, ” I say taking his other hand.
“I don’t . . . I don’t even know how to begin to tell you how sorry I am, Emily. If you never want to see me again, I understand. You should just tell me right now to . . . go jump off a cliff or take a bullet or something. I don’t know if I can live with this”—his hand grazes my scar—”knowing I hurt you —so your wish is my command. I wouldn’t ever do those things unless you told me to. I wouldn’t leave you . . . if not, ” Sam whispers, looking down and stuffing his hands into his pockets.
I shake my head and look away so he won’t see the tears filling my eyes when he looks up. I wipe them away.
“Stop. No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I didn’t mean it at all. You’re not like him—you’re so much better than that, Sam. I just feel so bad for Leah. I do want to see you. I’m just afraid you won’t want to see me . . . like this. And if you ever did, any of those things you just mentioned, I-I would have to, too. And then Leah probably would and then we’d raise the suicide rate in La Push by like, a ton, ” I finish off my words, laughing through my tears. Sam smiles.
His sad smile nearly breaks my heart, so I kiss him, wrapping my arms around him once more. I’d all but forgotten Jared and Paul were even there and they hover once more but back away when Sam pulls me even closer. We end our kiss and I rest my head against his chest with my eyes closed, both of us relaxed.
“I’m so sorry—” Sam begins again and I interrupt him.
“Stop. Are you hungry?”
“Starving, ” he answers and I take his hand, leading him inside.
He sits at the table while I heat up leftovers for all three of the men. While the food is heating, I grab plates and set the table.
“Gosh, I missed you, ” Sam says as I serve his food.
I laugh, “I’m sure. You don’t know how lonely it gets. Especially while I’m not working.”
Sam looks up, “Not working?”
“They gave me some time off. I go back after Christmas break, ” I explain while dishing food for the others. I’ve already eaten, so I sit in the empty chair at Sam’s side, pulling it closer to him.
He nods, “That makes sense. And that gives us like an extra week together right?”
Paul and Jared groan in unison and I giggle.
“It was bad enough when you were gone, ” Paul says. “Even with Embry’s help.”
“How is Embry? ” Sam asks them.
“Ehh, he’s okay. He’s got a lot of questions, that’s for sure, ” Jared says and Paul nods in agreement.
“Serves you guys right then, ” Sam retorts. “You two asked more questions than a classroom of four-year-olds. Is he running now?”
“Yeah, ” Paul says. “I’m supposed to go trade with him soon. You want me to send him in?”
Sam nods, “Yes, please.” He turns to me, “We can go out tomorrow if you want, Emi. I gotta take care of this tonight.”
“I understand,” I tell him. “I’m just glad that you’re finally back.”
I lean my head against his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me, the other guys making faces and pretending to gag. Paul leaves and a few minutes later, Embry comes in. He stands in the doorway awkwardly, not yet feeling welcome at my house like the rest of the pack does.
“Come on in,” I tell him. “Foods on the counter, plates in the cupboard. Help yourself.”
Embry nods and goes to the counter. Jared gets up and helps himself to seconds after Embry has his food, then they return to the table.
“Emily makes lots of food, ” Jared says to Embry. “And we eat it for her.”
I smile, “Isn’t that right? I guess that’s what comes from being the one and only imprint.” I lean over and kiss Sam’s cheek.
Embry nods but stays silent. Sam’s eyes are on him and I, too can tell Embry has a question.
“So, uh, ” Embry begins. “How does the whole imprinting thing work? I don’t really get it. I mean, You and Leah—”
Sam’s body tenses next to mine and I assume he wasn’t expecting this question.
“We don’t really know how or why it happens, just that it does. I think, ” Sam clears his throat. “That, uh, you imprint on the person that…How do I put this? That you, have the best chance of reproducing with. So that…the tribe will always have protection for our enemies when it’s needed.”
My cheeks grow warm and I know they must be bright pink. I look to Sam to see that his are too and then look away. Being the only imprint doesn’t really allow anyone to make many theories about imprinting.
“That makes sense I guess, ” Embry says. “So, like, how do you know?”
“You just do. The first time you see her, everything changes and she’s the only thing that matters anymore. You would do anything for her, ” Sam stops to kiss my cheek and I smile.
“Anything else?” Sam asks.
“Nah, I’ll let you know if I think-a somethin’.”
Embry continues to eat and Jared stands up to get more. Later we move into the living room and Jared leaves to relieve Paul. Sam answers more questions of Embry’s throughout the evening while I snuggle into his side, happy and content now that he is back.
Thanks for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed this entry and many more to come! Like Leah’s Diary on Facebook here or Follow on Twitter here! I love getting feedback and questions about my writing