news

May

14th

(Esme’s Diary) Chapter 7: Alone

I spent the next week either at my parents house or at Evies. I was trying to keep myself occupied so I didn’t feel the urge to walk to my tree. I walked around my parents farm a lot, but nothing compared to my little sanctuary.

Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was his face. I dare not say his name either. Saying his name conjurers up feelings that are dangerous. Charles’ family and friends are all around and I cannot even begin to comprehend what he would do to me if he found out I had feelings for someone else…. Oh my goodness, I have feelings for him.

Oh Dear.

It’s been a week now since I last went to my tree and met Johnathon. I’m hoping that he thought it was a one off, my being there that is. So today, after a particularly uneventful day I have decided to take a walk out to my tree. Luckily nobody was there.

I sat down, leaned against the rough trunk of my tree and closed my eyes, the bark of my tree digging itself into my back. I liked it though. I figured that it being uncomfortable was my punishment for my improper thoughts. I could feel myself relaxing as each second breezed by. The smell of the grass filled my nose, the birds chirped in the tree tops above, the lonely bumble bee collected necter from the flowers. I allowed myself to relax so much I could hear all this. I lost myself in the freedom of being there, digging my feet into the grass when I heard a crack. I looked up, my heart pounding as there he was, Johnathon. Smiling down at me.

“I thought you’d never come back,” he said, smiling at me. A look of relief on his face.

“I thought you would have given up by now. I thought I made myself clear Johnathon,” I said, my voice sounding harsh, not the way I had wanted to sound.

“May I sit with you Esme?” He asked,

I wanted to say no, I wanted to be left alone. I ended up just shrugging.

Johnathon sat down next to me and smiled. “I’ve been here every day waiting for you to return Esme. You kept me waiting a long time.”

“Johnathon, I thought I explained myself last time, this is not a good idea. My husband is serving in the war at the moment. His friends and family live close by and I am certain he wouldn’t be pleased with me for speaking to you.” My voice quivered as I spoke. I winced, remembering the abuse I had endured whilst Charles had been here. Johnathon must have noticed the wince, he sighed and mumbled something under his breath.

“Excuse me?” I asked, part of me wanting to know what he had mumbled and the other half afraid to know.

“Look, I’m sorry Esme, but I’m not stupid. You don’t know me but I have seen you around for years. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time and just as I had plucked up the courage to talk to you I heard you had gotten married. So I decided it was probably best not to bother you.”

“Johnathon? Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you just leave it once you knew I was married?” I asked, intrigued by his story.

“Well, like I said, I was going to. But then I saw you with him, and I knew right then and there that something wasn’t right…”

“How?” I was extremely intrigued now.

“The light had gone from your eyes, you looked scared… terrified actually. I knew then what he was doing but I wanted more proof. I didn’t see you for a while after that, then all of a sudden you were walking towards me on the street. You were looking down, trying to shield yourself from people looking at you, that’s when I noticed the bruise on the side of your face. It looked like it had faded. I knew then I had to help you. But I never saw you again, until that day at the tree. It was pure chance I saw you there. I was just taking a walk thinking about things and there you were, freezing. And then yesterday when you spoke about him you started shaking.”

“Oh, Johnathon… I ….err…. don’t really know what to say.” I was lost for words, for some reason I felt close to him and I could feel myself opening up to him.

“There isn’t much point in me denying it is there?”

“No, but you also don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to. I just want to see you happy again. Esme, I have feelings for you but I would rather you were just happy than put you in danger by perusing my feelings for you.”

I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say, no-one had ever been that nice to me.

“Esme, You don’t have to say anything. I know it is a lot to take in. I just want us to be friends. If that’s okay? I know we can’t be seen in public and I understand that. But I want the chance to make you happy, even if it is only being your friend.” He smiled at me, parting his lips slightly, showing off his perfectly straight teeth.

Still I was speechless. Suddenly all I could hear was my heart beating, so fast. The desire in me building up so much I was really struggling to control myself. My dream replaying itself over in my head.

“Johnathon, I’d like to be friends, what you’ve just said was so nice. But please understand we can only be friends.”

“That is all I am asking, for a chance to be your friend, and hopefully take away some of the hurt from your eyes.”

“Okay, well in that case ‘friend,’ can I ask you a question?” I smiled at him, enjoying the banter that already felt so comfortable.

“Of course,” he replied smiling back at me.

“Why aren’t you serving in the war? You must be, what early 20′s? Forgive me if I am being too nosy?”

“Yes I’m 22, and no it’s fine honestly. I was serving in the war, until 6 months ago. I was injured and returned home.” As he said this he lifted up his shirt to show an angry red scar on the right side of his stomach. I couldn’t help noticing that he had an extremely attractive physique.

“I want to go back, I feel like a fraud being here whilst all my friends are dying out there. But because of my injury I have been discharged.” A cloud of sorrow covered his eyes as he said this. I placed my hand on his, hoping that he wouldn’t take it the wrong way, I just wanted to comfort him… as a friend.

“Johnathon,” I started, trying to find the right words, “Even having the courage to fight for our country is a noble thing. The fact that you were injured is not your fault. You could have died.” He looked at me, the pain still in his eyes.

“Thank you Esme, for listening. I haven’t spoken to anyone about this. It’s nice to get it off my chest.” He intertwined his fingers around mine and pulled me down onto the grass. I didn’t know what to do about his hand. It felt nice, but at the same time I knew it was wrong. We lay on the grass not saying anything. I couldn’t tell you how long we laid there for, time seemed to stand still.

My mind kept drifting back to my dream. I wanted to lean over and kiss him, maybe just say something. But I’m married, I have to behave myself.

It was starting to get dark now. “I think we should head home,” Johnathon said standing up and pulling me to my feet. Our hands parted and we started to walk towards the village. Once we were on the outskirts of the village I stopped walking. Johnathon stopped to and turned to me.

“Is everything okay?” Johnathon asked

“Yes, it’s fine. I just don’t think we should be seen together. Please don’t be offended.”

“Esme, nothing you could ever do would offend me. I told you earlier, I don’t want to make things difficult for you. We’ve always got our tree.” He smiled at me, I could feel my heart beating so hard again.

Johnathon looked down at me, gazing into my eyes. He lifted his hand up and pushed a strand of hair away from my face, still gazing into my eyes. He placed his hand on my cheek and pushed another strand of hair away with his other hand. He took my face in his hands. I wanted to say something, to tell him to stop. But I couldn’t breathe let alone speak. Johnathon bent his head down towards my face. Thoughts were running through my head now, was he going to kiss me? I have to stop this. I can’t let this happen. He brushed his nose against my cheek and whispered in my ear.

“Esme, I’ve never felt like this with anyone else. I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“Johnathon, I….”

“Esme, you don’t have to say anything, I know.”

He pulled his face away slightly so our noses were touching.

I’ll continue again soon

Esme xxx

 

May

13th

(Esme’s Diary) Chapter 6: Johnathon

My heart was thumping so hard, I couldn’t breathe. My stomach did somersaults as he slowly kissed my neck, running his tongue softly along my jawline. Each touch sent shivers up my spine. This is how it is meant to be I thought. This is how Evie explained it.

“Are you okay?” Johnathon asked. “I’m not moving too fast am I?”

“Not at all,” I replied, silently begging him to carry on, pulling him towards me so I could feel his heart thumping against my bosom. He pulled me down to the blanket laid on the floor. He sat there gazing into my eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, a crease forming across his brow. He looked worried, the crease making him look older than his years.

“I’m positive. Please stop worrying,” I breathed, trying to stop my voice from quivering. I was nervous but excited all at the same time. I was actually looking forward to this.

He started to kiss me again, even slower this time and time itself seemed to stand still. I lifted my hands and placed them around his neck, twisting my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to me as my heart came close to jumping out of my chest.

He started unbuttoning my dress, kissing me where every button had been. This was perfect.

This was how I wanted it to be all the time.

He helped me out of my dress and undergarments as I undid the buttons on his shirt. Kissing him where every button had been. It had never been like this before so I wasn’t sure what I was doing exactly, but continued. His breathing became faster and heavier as I reached for his trousers. I undid the buttons and pulled them off of him and he then quickly removed his underwear.

“Lay down Esme,” he purred, his breathing faster still.

I did as he asked. He wasn’t being aggresive, he was being loving.

He placed himself on top of me, his elbows taking most of the weight, staring into my eyes with such care, such warmth.

“I love you Esme,” he whispered, then he kissed me with such passion I was sure my heart stopped beating for a second. I didn’t feel him enter me because he did it with such care, kissing me the whole time.

“I love you too,” I replied, and I meant it. This is what life should be like.

We moved in unison for what seemed like an eternity. Nothing else mattered. Once we had finished he held me, playing with my hair, twisting it around his finger and stroking my cheek. He gazed into my eyes, nuzzling into my neck, breathing in my scent.

And for now I only had eyes for him, my love, my Johnathon.

I woke with a start, sweating. I couldn’t believe it, it had seemed so real. I knew at that moment that I couldn’t risk seeing Johnathon again. He knew where my sanctuary was. I would have to stay away for a while. Hopefully he would get the message. I couldn’t risk Charles ever finding out. I would miss my special place. But this is how it had to be!

Esme xx

Attention: Below if a picture of how I envision Johnathon ;)



May

11th

Esme’s Diary (Chapter 5: Happier Times)

I am so much happier now.

It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Charles was drafted in to go to war. He left last night. Instead of giving me a kiss and telling me he loved me before leaving, he dragged me upstairs for one last humiliating time. I wondered why I expected anything different from him. He hadn’t been affectionate in the 6 months we had been married, unless we were in public, but even then you could tell it was disgusting him to be nice to me.

Is it wrong of me to be pleased that my husband is going to war? Not knowing whether he will come back again. If he does come back I only have one wish… and that is that he isn’t like he used to be. I really hope the war changes him.

Today has been a pleasant day. I haven’t been fearful of Charles coming home. I spent the day at home today. I made myself a small lunch and then decided to go for a walk. It was a nice warm day today for a change. I walked for ages, taking off my shoes so that I could feel the grass beneath my feet, the soft blades wrapping themselves between my toes with every step I took.

After what seemed like forever, I went and sat down under a tree. I sat there hugging my knees thinking about my life. How it had turned out. Wondering where it would go. What would happen to me if Charles ever came back. Before I knew it tears where splashing my knees, relief that the pain I had been enduring the last few months was over for now, maybe even forever.

Without thinking about it my mind wandered back to that day I broke my leg falling out of the tree. Meeting Dr. Cullen and falling in complete lust with him.

I wonder, what would have happened if I’d been a little older and we could have courted. I wondered if all men treat their wives the way Charles did? My mind kept jumping back to Dr. Cullen: Was he married now? Was he happy? Where was he? I knew I had to get a grip of myself. Dr. Cullen was long gone.

I decided to etch a mark into my tree, so that I could find it again. It soon became my sanctuary. I would walk there every afternoon after being at my parents farm helping them out. I would stroll across the fields without any shoes on feeling the grass beneath me.

I was happy.

I wasn’t scared anymore. I lived by my rules, not his.

It has been 6 weeks since Charles left for the war. I wondered what he was doing now, where he was. I was laying under my tree and it was freezing cold, but I didn’t care. I loved this place, it was my secret. I laid there for hours on this particular day, daydreaming about things. I can’t quite remember what…

“Excuse me?” The voice asked

I jumped up, startled. We were miles from any houses. I’d never seen anyone here before. And yet there was a man standing there staring down at me.

“Oh, hello,” I said. I looked up at the man standing before me, taken back by how beautiful he was. His jet black hair pushed away from his clean shaven face, his long dark eye lashes covering his brown eyes. He had to be close to my age. Why wasn’t he serving in the war?

He smiled at me. “Are you okay Miss?” he asked, with a look of genuine concern.

“Yes, thank you. I’m fine,” I replied, wondering what he was doing so far from the villiage.

“It’s just that it’s really cold miss, and you look… well, kind of blue.”

“Do I?” I hadn’t thought about how cold it was outside but now that he mentioned it, I realized I was freezing.

“I think maybe I should go home now,” I said through chattering teeth.

“Let me help you,” he replied. I tried to persuade him to believe I’d be okay, but he insisted saying it wouldn’t be ‘gentlemanly’ of him to leave me out there on my own.

We walked for about 15 minutes in silence before anyone spoke.

“My name is Johnathon,” he said, smiling over at me.

“Hello, Jonathon. I’m Esme,” I replied.

“That’s a beautiful name, for a beautiful woman,” he said, charmingly.

I blushed. “Urm, thank you Johnathon.”

We were nearing my house and I didn’t want to be spotted with a strange man. Charles would be very angry if he ever found out.

I thanked Johnathon and said goodbye.

“Will I see you again?” He asked, looking slightly worried.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you? My husband is serving in the war.” And with that I turned and walked towards my house, using all my strength not to turn around and look at him.

I shall write again soon

Esme xxxx

 

May

10th

Esme’s Diary (Chapter 4: Big Mistake)

Attention: I apologies for it being so short. Please be patient they will get longer.


Charles and I have been married for 6 months now. I can’t believe I let my parents persuade me to marry him. My life since getting married has been much the same as my wedding day; every night I am made to lie naked on the bed whilst Charles stares at me through those evil green eyes, while his normally slicked back dark blonde hair falls over his face.

As always he forces himself onto me, not caring if he hurts me. In fact, he seems to like it when he causes me pain, placing all of his weight on me so that I can barely breath. Almost like he’s trying to squeeze the life out of me.

By day I am expected to be up before him to make his breakfast: 1 sausage, browned (not burnt), 2 potatoes, chopped small (no skin) and slices of bread along with a pot of tea. Once he has eaten, I have to clean the house and dishes from breakfast. Then, because he doesn’t like me being alone, I am to go to my parents and assist on the farm there, returning home before Charles so that I am able to cook his dinner and that it’s ready for when he arrives back.

Charles doesn’t just hurt me in the bedroom, though. About 5 weeks after we married Charles hit me for the first time. He had just discovered that I hadn’t become pregnant. In his eyes I wasn’t a real woman unless I was able to bore him an heir. Personally I was grateful that I hadn’t become pregnant. This is not the kind of life to bring a child into. As soon as he found out he started shouting at me.

“WHAT KIND OF WOMAN ARE YOU IF YOU CANNOT EVEN PRODUCE AN HEIR?” he Screamed at me, turning bright red with anger.

“I’m sorry,” I cried, knowing that it was in my best interest to keep quiet and agree with him.

However, today he seemed to be nastier than usual and with that he grabbed my hair, pulling so hard that I could feel my hair separating away from my scalp. He dragged me up stairs, throwing me onto the bed and, well, continued much the same as the wedding. Although, he was a lot more aggressive this time, causing me immense pain.

Normally he liked it when he hurt me, but today he shouted at me to ‘SHUT UP,’ punching the side of my head. I laid there in shock until he had finished. Then grabbing me by the hair again, he dragged me off the bed, pulling me to the bath.

“Get yourself cleaned up and respectable. We are going to my parents for supper and I don’t want them thinking I married a tramp,” he spat at me.

I tried to scrub every last bit of him off of me, but I still felt dirty. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying. I tried my best to make myself look respectable but it obviously wasn’t good enough by the look on Charles’ face.

Esme x

 

Please ‘Like’ Esme’s Diary on Facebook here.

 

May

9th

Esme’s Diary (Chapter 3: Wedding Day)

ATTENTION: Before any of you read on I want to let you know that this chapter is explicit, and not suitable for those under 18… I have warned you, so please don’t shout at me if you do continue to read on. –Niki


Today is my wedding day and my mother is currently running around trying to finalize all the details. My father is wandering around the farm trying to stay out of my mothers way. Me? I’m sitting on my bed thinking.

I know I am doing the right thing and obeying my parents wishes, but a small part of me can’t help but think about Dr. Cullen. What he’s doing? Does he think about me at all? Probably not. I was just one of many patients that he had treated during his time at Columbus hospital.

“ESME!!!” My mother shouted, snapping me out of my thoughts and back into the real world. “Come on, we have to get you into your dress. You don’t want to be late for Charles now do you?” my mother asked….. (little does she know)

“Coming mother,” I said, dragging myself off of my bed and walking into my mothers room to get into my dress.

“Your father has the horse and cart ready,” mother assured me, rushing from one side of her room to the other, as if she were frantically looking for something, even though she didn’t actually pick anything up. She was flapping. Plain and Simple.

“Ok Mother! I’m nearly ready, stop flapping.”

I shall write about the wedding this evening.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Good Evening,

Well, I have done as my parents wished and become Mrs Esme Evenson. Charles looked smart at the alter. The service went without a problem. All too soon we were pronounced Man and Wife. We left the church together and then went onto the reception. Charles had explained to me that – as I was his Wife now – I was to be respectable and obedient. Therefore I was to stay by his side all evening.

Charles spent the evening celebrating with his friends and family and drinking quite a lot. I hadn’t noticed him drinking before, but we were celebrating I guess.

My father had surprised me by providing some champagne at the reception. I took a glass of champagne looking forward to my first taste of the bubbling liquid. As the fizzing liquid hit my lips Charles turned round and glared at me. I could see in his eyes that he obviously didn’t want me drinking, so I placed my glass down on the table and returned to his side.

That evening when Charles and I entered our new house I was slightly nervous. This would be the first time I would ever have ‘been’ with someone. I had heard about it from Evie and it sounded so romantic. Evie had said that it would hurt a little but to not worry as it does get better.

Whilst I was undressing and getting ready for bed, Charles entered the room. My heart started beating, not because I was excited though. I was nervous and scared. There was an air around Charles, my heart was telling me something wasn’t right. I wanted to run, I don’t know why but I did.

But I couldn’t move, my feet felt like bricks.

Charles walked towards me, an evil glare in his hazy eyes.

“As my wife Esme, you are to do as you are told, when you are told. Do you understand me?” Charles said rather aggressively.

“Yes Sir,” I mumbled.

I jumped as Charles’ fist hit the table. “Damn it woman, speak up when I am talking to you.”

“Yes Sir,” I said louder, fear flowing through my veins. This isn’t right, this isn’t right. This is not how Evie said it would be.

“Now, I want you to take all you clothes off and to lay on the bed,” Charles demanded, with that evil glint in his eye. He was smirking. I wasn’t laughing, I was scared.

I removed my wedding dress, stockings, shoes.

“Leave the veil on,” he ordered.

I Left the veil on and removed everything else, doing as he said so that I didn’t anger him any further.

Laying on the bed, I tried my hardest to cover myself with my hands, embarrassed that I was completely naked and he was still fully dressed.

He stood up and removed his clothes. He stood at the end of the bed and forced my legs apart. Climbing onto the bed, he removed my hands, covering my dignity, and forced them above my head.

“Charles, Please! It’s not meant to be like this,” I begged, longing for the loving, romantic encounter that Evie had explained.

“Just be quiet and enjoy it Esme,” Charles said, glaring at me again. As he said this he smirked, his eyes widened and then he pushed himself into me.

The pain was unbelievable. It felt like I was being split in half. I knew this wasn’t right. Evie would’ve said something. I started crying. My crying seemed to please him. It didn’t take long. Charles rolled off of me and told me to stop crying and go to sleep. I tried to muffle my sobs in the pillow and once I was sure he was asleep I went downstairs.

The tears flowed freely then. I sat down on the sofa, pulling my legs up under my chin. I choked out the sobs and winced at the pain between my legs. I hated this, hated what my life had become, and it had only been the first day. I was to spend the rest of my life with this… this monster. The thought of him made me cringe, made every inch of my skin crawl. But this was the life I had surrendered to. I had done as my parents wished, and now I had to live with that choice.

I had to tell you what had happened. I will write again soon.

Love Esme xxx

 

May

8th

(Esme’s Diary) Chapter 2: Charles Evenson

June 8th 1917

It’s been 6 years, 5 weeks and 1 day since I last wrote in here. Each time I have picked up my diary to write, I’ve noticed my last entry, well, my last comment: “Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the man of my dreams.”

He most certainly was the man of my dreams, for many years. Still is. Nobody has ever lived up to the feelings I felt when I met him. When I felt his ice cold hand on my leg. Maybe it’s me being overly-analytical, but I would personally rather wait until I feel that again. If I am ever lucky enough to feel that emotion again.

Unfortunately, my parents don’t feel the same way.

About a year ago I approached my parents, telling them that I would like to move somewhere out west to become a school teacher. I hadn’t decided on the exact location yet. I just wanted to get out on my own for a while. I was tired of being the only person my age unmarried.

My father, however, didn’t believe that it was respectable to be unmarried in a different area. My father had a different idea. A friend of the family, Charles Evenson, had been showing an interest in me recently. Personally, I’m indifferent to Charles. He seems nice enough, but I most definitely don’t feel with him the way I felt in the presence of Dr. Cullen.

My father insisted that Charles would be a suitable husband and refused to support a family and me. Begrudgingly I eventually agreed to marry Charles.

Our wedding is set to be on July the 8th this year. Only 1 month left! I’m not excited about marrying Charles, and I know this isn’t how I should be feeling. I should be so in love that my heart wants to jump out of my chest every time I see him. I should be so excited that I am getting married in a month.

But I’m not.

I know I’m a little on the older side of getting married. Evie and Harry have been married for 5 years now and have 3 children. Pearl and Edwin are also married and have been for 4 years. They have 2 children and Pearl is pregnant again. I always wanted to wait, but my father insists – and I must do what my parents want, so I will try. Hopefully I will learn to love Charles.

Now I know you want to know what my wedding dress is like so here goes. I only hope that my description does it justice:

My dress is beautiful, yet simple. The great thing about it is that it can be worn again. It has long lace sleeves with very delicate frills around the wrists. It’s ankle length with the same light frills around the bottom, and it is covered in the most beautiful lace. My Veil is made from the same lace that covers the dress, and reaches to the floor.

I shall write again soon…

Love, Esme. xxx

May

7th

Please Welcome Niki & Esme’s Diary!

Hey everyone! I’m writing this quick update for those of you who visit the website to read the diaries, and asking you to please welcome the writer of our brand new Esme’s Diary, Niki!

Niki was previously writing as Esme on her own, and throughout the past while we’ve been chatting back and forth when she mentioned she’d love to share her writing with a bit of a larger audience.

Since the writer of Renesmee’s Diary had to resign due to time constraints, and I’m not 100% sure what’s happening with Alice’s Diary yet and, of course, I’ve stopped writing Bella’s Diary, I figured I owed it to you all to bring on another writer. In emails, a lot of you have made it clear that you’d LOVE an Esme’s Diary, so this is for you!

Niki is a wonderful writer who  is able to capture the warmth and compassion that Esme encompasses.

If you have a minute, please ‘Like’ Esme’s Diary on Facebook HERE and drop her a warm ‘welcome’ on her wall. I’ve told her how great and supportive you all can be, so she’s very excited to interact with you. She’s super sweet and friendly!

Now, for those of you who are emailing in and asking why I haven’t added new writers yet to make up for the ones who resigned, or just stopped writing (like myself), it’s because I am very well aware of the fact that this is an extremely busy time for students in school right now. With homework, exams, extracurricular activities and prom to prepare for, writing just isn’t possible for many of you. And even those who have joined the website to write and thought they’d have the time to contribute diaries every-so-often have found it more difficult than it sounded to really find the time to brainstorm ideas, get them down, edit them, etc.

In short, we wont be seeking new writers now until around the beginning of summer break. This is only because I don’t want to add new writers and get you all excited, then have it turn out that they’re too busy/overwhelmed to write. I also fully understand how tough it can be to scrounge up the time to sit down to devote to writing and would rather be patient and get someone who has the time, then to rush into it and add a writer who bit off more than they could chew.

These writers are volunteers, and are doing this in their free time out of the love of the saga, their characters and making people (the readers) happy. Taking anytime at all out of their hectic schedules to write and contribute to the website always means the world to me, and I hope it does to all of you as well.

On another quick note, I want to thank those of you who have read the VERY short preview of my book and have left such wonderful feedback. It means the world to me and has encouraged me to finish editing it and to stop procrastinating. :lol:

For those of you who haven’t read the (tiny) preview I released, you can view it under the INFO tab on the fan page for the book HERE.

Thank you all so much!

xo

Krystal.

May

7th

(Esme’s Diary) Chapter 1: Dr Carlisle Cullen

May 3rd 1911

I have dreamt about him every night, every night since I met him for the first time. His beautiful pale skin, his eye’s like droplets of gold that I could get lost in forever! He is the man of my dreams and I only wish I were old enough to be courted by him. One day, though, I will find someone who will have that look of love and compassion in their eyes, like he did. His eyes also hid something, he had an air of mystery around him, like he was hiding something, or in pain.

I suppose I best start from the beginning and explain how I met… HIM. My parents have a farm on the outskirts of Columbus. Like we always did, my friends and I were sitting in a tree talking about life, boys and what we wanted to happen in our lives. You see, out of my friends, I am the only one not being courted. My best friend Evie is, it is rumored, about to get engaged to Harry. Pearl and Edwin had been dating the last 18 months and were well on their way to the alter also. Me? I was the odd one out. I had all this love inside me to give but the right person hadn’t come along yet.

We had been talking all afternoon and I knew it was about time we all started heading home. I started my descent first. Climbing down each branch as if by memory. I had done this hundreds of times, I felt I could do it with my eyes closed.

But I didn’t notice.

I didn’t notice the slight crack in the branch or hear the branch groan as I placed a small amount of my weight on it. As I placed my feet on the branch and let go of the branch above me, letting this branch take my full weight, it gave way and I was falling. It all happened so fast that I didn’t have time to think. One minute I was in the tree, the next I was flat on my back on the floor. I didn’t feel the pain at first, only once I tried sitting up did I feel the intense throbbing pain in my leg.

With the help of my friends we finally managed to get home. As soon as we got through the door my Mother could tell something was wrong, as Evie explained what happened I could hear my father groaning in the background. Probably upset he wasn’t going to get much help around the farm from me for a while. My fate was sealed when my mother informed me that the local doctor was away on vacation and we would have to travel to the local hospital in Columbus.

This is when I saw HIM for the first time. He walked into the waiting room, looked down at something he had in his hand and said, “Esme Platt?”

I looked up and gasped, my heart beating so hard and fast I thought it would jump out of my chest.

“Yes,” my mother answered, glancing at me, obviously wondering why I hadn’t spoke for myself, or why I was turning a soft beetroot color. We managed to get to a gurney when he turned to me and smiled.

Oh my that smile. If I had been standing I know my knees would’ve given way.

“So,” he began. “My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I’d like for you to tell me what happened please, Esme.”

I couldn’t speak; I was losing myself in his beautiful golden eyes. My mother nudged me, snapping me out of my daydream.

“Mmm, sorry sir?” I said a little sheepishly.

“How did you hurt your leg Esme?” Dr. Cullen repeated.

Oh, Now this was going to be embarrassing.

“Urm, well, I, Err, fell out of a tree, sir,” I mumbled, somewhat incoherently.

My mother chided me for mumbling.

“Don’t worry,” Dr. Cullen said. “So you fell out of a tree? Ok, let’s take a look then shall we?”

As his hand touched my leg I jumped. My mother chided me again. “Sit still Esme.”

“Sorry Mother, sorry Dr. Cullen,” I said, feeling myself blush, my heart still racing. His touch had sent a shock through me, not just out of lust, but because his hand was so cold, like ice.

I couldn’t understand it, it wasn’t that cold in the hospital. I put this to the back of my mind whilst Dr. Cullen examined my leg, confirming that it was broken. I lost myself again, gazing at him whilst he fixed me up. I was trying to memorise every feature on his beautiful face. All too soon he had finished, and then sent my parent and I on our way home again.

His face printed in my mind forever.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the man of my dreams.

Esme xx


Please feel free to join Esme’s Diary on Facebook HERE!

 

« Previous Page