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July

31st

Hot Jackson Rathbone Outtakes!

Check out these gorgeous outtakes of Jackson Rathbone from from Jackson’s Inked and 100 Monkeys shoots! He is toooo cute for words! Love his style.

You can see more at Jackson-Rathbone.com

XO


July

18th

Dear Diary (Ruby Eyes)

Charlie’s eyes are still a startling crimson color. They haven’t faded, at all. Unusual. In fact, they seem to be becoming more bright with time. He only drinks the blood of animals, and hasn’t ever fed off a human, ever. Normally, only vampires who drink human blood – and, of course,  newborns – have such a frighteningly red eye color. Mine are now completely golden, and turn black when I’m extremely hungry.

Wearing contacts around all the time isn’t a realistic option for Charlie. He hates them. Sunglasses just look suspicious. It’s Forks after all. Always gloomy – no need for sunglasses. Although Charlie likes to joke that he’s “defected,” I’m actually worried. Unlike humans, our kind have not been studied so in depth. Even Carlise is uncertain as to why Charlie’s eyes are still the same burning shade of red they were the first day he became one of us, if not brighter.

We have to move, too. Carlisle doesn’t want to go to New Hampshire until we figure out what it is that’s keeping Charlie’s eyes from turning golden. He doesn’t see the point in causing suspicion about what we are in two different towns. If the good people of Hanover, New Hampshire were to somehow see Charlie’s eyes, we would have to leave immediately. We’re going to remain here, in Forks, until Carlisle can fully understand why Charlie is different from the rest of us.

As of right now, Carlise only has one theory. And so far, it’s nothing more than just a theory, either.  When Charlie was shot in the line of duty, Carlisle had to operate. Charlie was left with an infection in his chest, extremely close to his heart. Carlisle thinks that maybe – because part of Charlie’s heart was calloused from the wound – the venom couldn’t spread throughout his entire heart. Therefore Charlie could still have some blood flowing through his body. Not a lot, or enough to consider him “alive” – but enough to keep his eyes a flaming, almost liquid ruby color. Enough for him to still have a extraordinarily feeble heart beat.

Until Carlisle does some sort of test, we wont know for certain, though. It’s extremely confusing not only to Carlisle, but to all of us. Charlie only craves blood, and like any other vampire, he can’t stand the taste of food and describes it as tasting like “dirt” or “mud.” He’s strong, fast, cold-skinned and even has a gift. Everything else is the same, except his eyes.

I don’t mind that our move has been delayed. It wont be put off for too long, anyway. Carlisle will work fast to figure this out – and when he does, I’ll be sure to let you all know if his theory was indeed right – or if there’s some other hidden reason. Right now, I only care about Charlie’s safety. Carlisle is almost one hundred percent sure that Charlie is okay, but I know I’ll be a nervous wreck until I know for sure. Until something has been confirmed, proven.

In other news, Renee wants to come visit… without Phil. She called today and the tone of her voice was somewhat dreary. When I asked if everything was okay, she assured me that everything was “fine,” but I know Renee better than that. When I asked about Phil – and why he wasn’t coming – she danced around my questions and gave me quick, mindless responses.

I told her I would get back to her about a good time to visit. Told her I needed to talk to the family to make sure everyone agreed on a date. Really, I’m just buying some time to figure out how, exactly, we’re going to work her into a house full of vampires – and somehow keep it a secret, and keep her alive. We’ll probably have her visit at Charlie’s house in town, and just have Charlie, Edward, Renesmee and myself stay with her at the house, while Carlise, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice – and of course Jacob – stop in for a visit or two.

I know Renee will ask questions, and notice that we do things that normal humans don’t, but I’m prepared to handle anything she throws my way. I wont make the same mistake I did with Charlie, by telling him what we are. I wont risk our lives, or hers. She can suspect what she wants, but I’ll never admit to anything and will do whatever it takes to hide the truth. Anything. For her safety, and the safety of the rest of my family.

For now I’m going to go read the ending of my favorite book, Edward’s Diary. I’m almost completely through the second one. I have to say, if it were possible for me to cry – the pages of that diary would be nothing but wet, smeared ink. Sometimes I find myself re-reading certain lines that Edward wrote about me; trying to digest the emotion behind every word. Of course, I’ll eventually post more entries from Edward, too.

Will Write Again Soon,

-Bella Cullen

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July

13th

100 Monkeys Exclusive Interview With Starshine Magazine!

Starshine Magazine has this exclusive interview with Jackson Rathbone’s band, 100 Monkeys:

To feed the elephant in the room, Jackson, can you tease anything about “New Moon” for the yearning “Twilight” fans out there?

Jackson: It’s gonna be raging…action-packed, more steamy romance. You get to see a lot more crazy stuff happening. We went deeper into the world now, and it’s gonna be a fun thrill ride for everyone.

Also, filming recently wrapped in Pennsylvania for M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Last Airbender.” What was that experience like, Jackson?

Jackson: It’s been incredible, a great set. I really believe we’re making a film that’s going to be epic. It’s gonna move people. I think the movie’s gonna turn out beautiful.

The 100 Monkeys have performed with Rob Pattinson in the past. Any chance that’ll be a recurring collaboration?

Jackson: Well, I mean, Rob’s a busy guy…(laughs) We’ve had a few chances to play with him. He’s an awesome musician.

How has “Twilight” mania affected the band’s popularity?

Jackson: It’s definitely gotten us some attention, but I think the main thing is our lives shows. People get to –

Jared: – escape into a fun land. Enjoy good music.

Jackson: Yeah, we like to have a good time. That’s what we’re always trying to do – play music for as many people as possible.

Jared: Hopefully, they come in ready to rock out and have some fun. That’s all you can expect.

Ben G: If you scream loud enough, we’ll make up a song that you decide what it’s called. Things like guitar picks and sweat.

Jackson: We like to give things away a lot on stage.

Jared: Sometimes we bring monkeys and throw them into the crowd.

Jackson: By the way, Ben J. is an adamant whale enthusiast. I know that if he were here, he would want to mention something about preserving the humpback whale in particular. Just figured I’d throw that in there.

Read the entire interview here!

XO


July

3rd

Jackson Rathbone Photos!

New Moon super hottie Jackson Rathbone has a new photo shoot – and I have to say, he’s looking greeeeeeeat! After Robert Pattinson, Jackson is next on my list of hottest Twilight hunks! He’s just so cute :)

Via I felt Hope


XO

April

27th

Dear Diary (Rage. Anger. Fury.)

My jaw was locked, eyes frozen on the ground. For the first time since becoming a strong, almost indestructible vampire, I felt weak. Weaker than a human. My hands were rolled into balls, locked and unable to open. I couldn’t move. My feet felt fastened to the ground. Even if I wanted to crumble and fall, I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything.

His voice echoed in my ear, vaguely. The voice of an angel. It was calming, yet had a worried undertone to it. I couldn’t make out the words he was saying, though. In the distance I could almost hear an inhuman noise. It sounded like high pitched crying. It was constant, non stop. Within seconds the noise grew; doubled, then tripled.

The angels voice was being drowned out by the howls. Right . . . howls. I felt accomplished once I realized the inhuman noise was Jacob, and that he had at least two other wolves with him. I felt like a child, trying to understand the most basic sounds.

My normal drastically sharp vision was now dimmed. I could still see every texture on the twigs below me; I could see every tiny grain of dirt on the ground, but it was somehow dim. Only moments before everything seemed vibrant, bursting with texture and colors. Now, only dimness.

I was only half aware of the speed we were going, and that I was strapped tightly to Edward’s back listlessly. The trees that seemed so bright and vibrant when we were hunting were eerily lackluster. I don’t know how I ended up on Edward’s back. My hands were still balled into fists, my jaw was still locked.

I recognized the big white house. I even remembered who lives there. Things were beginning to make sense again. Almost. I could hear Edward’s voice more clearly now. It was velvety, flawless. Each word poured out so smoothly. He adjusted the tone of his voice with each word, making it melodic, harmonious.

“Carlisle, Renesmee is gone. She was sleeping . . .  then . . . I can’t explain now. We need to find her. Please, everyone, start searching all over. We’ll keep going until we find her. I don’t care how long it takes or how far we have to go.” Edward’s face somehow seemed more pale than normal, more pale than porcelain. A perfectly white canvas. His words, however, no longer seemed harmonious.

I looked up at Edward in disbelief. I couldn’t comprehend why he would say something like that to Carlisle. Was he trying to play some kind of sick joke on the rest of the Cullens? They looked scared, too. They were all gone, out the door, instantaneously.

I felt bad for them, and I was afraid of Edward. I gazed at him and I could feel that my facial expression was clouded with fear, fogged with confusion. He looked angry. Too angry to be joking. Maybe, he wasn’t playing a trick on the Cullens.

Edward’s words echoed in my head.

“It’s Nessie. Someone has her. She’s gone.” “It’s Nessie. Someone has her. She’s gone.” “It’s Nessie. Someone has her. She’s gone.”

“Someone has her.”

“Someone has her.”

“She’s gone.”

“She’s gone.”

“She’s gone.”

Everything flashed before my eyes. I saw Alice bringing Nessie back home to sleep, Edward and I reading Renesmee two stories while she dozed off, Jacob coming by to watch her sleep, Edward and I hunting. I even remembered Edward’s smooth glass lips pressed onto my head after we finished hunting. Then I remembered the almost deafening howls of Jacob. The last thing I remember hearing was, “It’s Nessie. Someone has her. She’s gone. . . ”

I was resurfacing now.

My comprehensibility was returning. I could hear the wolf howls perfectly in the distance. I even recognized who all three wolves were. Jacob, Seth and Leah.They all have distinct pitches which I’ve come to know off hand from spending so much time with them all when the Volturi were coming for Nessie.

The dimness lifted and everything seemed almost more bright than usual now. My feet no longer felt bolted to the ground. I could hear Edward’s voice crystal clear.

“Bella, are you okay. Bella. Please Bella, say something. Anything.”

I was about to say something for the first time when Alice uncharacteristically stomped into the house with a pained expression on her face and forced out the words that would make me go from being a stupid lamb to a sick, masochistic lion.

“It’s Baylor. We caught his scent behind the cabin. We followed it as far as we could through the woods. . .  but it disappeared. We’re going to split up and track him. Keep your phones on you, Bella–Edward.” It wasn’t even half a second before Alice was back out the door.

Rage. Anger. Fury. I was completely and irrevocably consumed by these emotions.

To be Continued . . .

 

April

25th

Dear Diary (She’s Gone)

My entire body was frozen, departed from my mind–which was moving a million miles an hour. The lifelessness in my body was battling with the outrage, placing me in a fog-like confusion. I stood still in my crouch, my lips stretched over my teeth for half a second before the outrage finally won. I didn’t have a chance to look at Edward, but I could hear his growls and sense his indignation.

•••

Renesmee, to my surprise, had a great time playing dress up with Alice. She loved trying on the dresses that were far too long for her, and heels that she could barely stand in. Although Nessie is shy, she really opens up around Alice. She laughs a lot and her voice becomes more animated than normal. Her eyes are always wide with curiosity as Alice explains the difference between real and knock-off designer labels, and other fashion-related topics.

I’m extremely grateful to have everyone around, to offer Renesmee the things I can’t. Alice is there for her if she ever needs fashion advice. It’s good to have Emmett because he can teach her how to play sports, or at least try to. Renesmee isn’t a huge sports fan. Rosalie can teach her how to fix cars, and Jasper likes to teach her about numerous history-related topics.

I can’t forget about Jacob, of course. He’s always there to keep Nessie protected and he makes her feel more loved than any almost two year old in the world, pretty much. I couldn’t ask for a better family to help Edward and I take care of our Nudger. She is very lucky . . . and so are we.

Alice had brought Renesmee back to our cabin after the dress up party. She was still wearing a black gown that was way too long for her, and a beautiful set of pearls on her almost translucent neck. Edward scooped Nessie up and brought her into her room to put on her favorite pj’s and get her ready for bed. After Alice left, I joined Edward in Nessie’s room to read her some stories before she dozed off.

Renesmee was already in a deep sleep by the time Jacob came by. He said he wanted to see Nessie before she went to sleep. He was too late, but asked if he could stay to watch her sleep anyway. This isn’t uncommon for Jacob. When he feels the need to see her he’ll stop by, anytime. He often comes by in the middle of the night just to watch her sleep. He sits by her bed, and sometimes we even catch him humming to her.

Edward and I hadn’t hunted in days, and we were feeling somewhat weak from our thirst. Since Jacob was already with Nessie, watching her sleep, we asked if he could stay a little longer to watch her while we went out to hunt. Of course he didn’t mind.

Our hunt was uneventful, like usual. Actually, it was a little too easy. The deers come out closer to the edge of the forest at night, so we didn’t even have to go that deep in. In fact, the edge of the forest was circled by glowing, round, beady eyes, all watching Edward and I, waiting for us to make our move. And we did.

I got my deer first. Edward has this thing with making me go first so he can watch me. He thinks it’s entertaining, still. I don’t think he’ll ever get used to seeing me attack and drain the blood from my prey. I don’t blame him, though, considering he once had to drag me to the nurses office in school when we were blood typing.

Once I was done, Edward attacked his deer so fast I almost missed it. He was thirsty.
The forest was quiet, peaceful. Edward walked quickly toward me then leaned over and pressed his beautiful smooth lips to the top of my head. I am still always completely blown away with his perfection. When he’s near me, I feel like I want him closer than what’s even possible. I want him completely pressed against my body, no space in between. Sometimes it feels like I can’t get close enough, like I want to drape him all over myself like a sheet and get lost in him. Like I want him to clasp me into his strong, solid arms and never let go. Never. I feel selfish, though. I get to spend eternity with this God-like, statuesque, beauty–yet I want more of him. I leaned up and kissed him back, pushing the selfish thoughts from my head.

I never thought this beautiful, serene moment would be followed by a living hell. Jacob’s high pitched howl was almost deafening. My body froze, departed from my mind–which was moving a million miles an hour.

The lifelessness of my body was battling with the mental outrage I felt, placing me in a fog-like confusion. I stood still in my crouch, my lips stretched over my teeth for half a second before the outrage finally won. I didn’t have a chance to look at Edward, but I could hear his growls and sense his indignation.

As soon as we were close enough to the cabin that Edward could read Jacob’s mind, he confirmed my deepest fear. “It’s Nessie.” His voice broke with her name. Jacob’s russet fur was standing on end, his teeth exposed and snapping so hard I thought his teeth would crack.

I broke free from my fog-like state long enough to demand that Edward tell me what Jacob was thinking. But I wanted him to suck the words back up and swallow them as soon as they came out. “It’s Nessie. Someone has her. She’s gone . . . . “

-Bella

 

April

22nd

Dear Diary (Clumsy)

I really thought my clumsiness would have disappeared along with the blood in my veins, and my beating heart. But it didn’t–not completely. I still stumble and trip, and I run into things a lot, too. I’m not perfect like him. Edward carries himself with the grace of an angel, while I am constantly on the verge of tripping over my own feet or smashing my stone-like body into a glass door. Yes, I did that.

Then there’s Alice. She carries herself with so much poise and grace that I often wonder if she’s floating. She’s so tiny, and her movements seem almost motionless. Alice, too, is very shocked that I haven’t become more breezy and poised since being turned. Poise and grace normally come with the change.

I have improved a great deal from my time as a human, of course, but I’m not as effortlessly graceful as the others. It’s all vague to me, but Edward tells me that as a human, I was so clumsy that he genuinely feared for my fragile life.

My outer appearance would suggest that I’m at least slightly graceful, but looks can be deceiving. In comparison to Alice’s elegant, harmonious movements, I’m pretty much a walking immortal accident waiting to happen–which is why Alice decided to devote the entire day to giving me a lesson–or ten–on how to be more ‘chic’, as she likes to call it.

In order to be the part, I had to dress the part. Alice’s words, not mine. For the lesson, Alice made me wear a silk, cream colored, floor-length, empire-waist gown with black lace trim. I didn’t like the dress, but I loved Edward’s reaction when he walked into the room. His sculpted jaw dropped slightly and his butterscotch eyes grew along with his bewildered expression.

Alice cleared up the confusion in a hurry, though. “No Edward, we’re not planning another wedding for you and Bella. You just had your first one not too long ago. I’ll wait a little longer before I start bugging for another wedding.”

Great.

Alice is unstoppable. I’m not fond of large celebrations, but having a second wedding with Edward doesn’t seem like the worst thing that could happen. Maybe one day. Probably soon, if Alice has any say.

Edward’s face retracted back to its perfect normal set, almost. His eyes remained larger than normal, and appeared to be glued to me. I thought he was trying to tell me he wanted to talk to me in private, but he assured me otherwise. “You’re beautiful, Bella. Perfect. And, for the record, I would marry you a hundred times. Alice, don’t change my perfect angel too much, please. I love her the way she is. Clumsiness and all.” He grinned then disappeared into the room with the white piano and started playing a beautiful melody.

Alice yelled after him. “Oh Edward, if immortality wasn’t enough to nix Bella’s clumsiness I’m sure I don’t stand a chance. It’s still fun trying, though.”

I suddenly felt like one of those dolls that comes with a number of different outfits. The ones that come with accessories like fancy pearls and numerous pairs of shoes. I need to make a mental note to pick a few of those dolls up for Alice. Maybe she will lay off me if she has a bunch of dress-up dolls to poke and prod at instead.

First lesson: Graceful Walking.

I have to admit, after a few pointers from Alice, I am actually lighter on my feet. It’s definitely been hard adjusting to my rock-like body. It feels harder and heavier than ever, plus my strength naturally makes me thud when I walk. Alice taught me to be more aware of each movement, to think of each step as walking on delicate, breakable ground. So far, it seems to be working. Emmett hasn’t been calling me “The Vampire Hulk” much lately.

After completing a number of lessons, we were finally on our last: How To Dress Elegantly For Your Body Type.

I didn’t know cold-hard-stone was a body type, but in the end I learned how to pair the right shoes with the proper jeans. Though I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing the heels Alice tried to convince me to wear, I now know that they supposedly elongate your legs, thinning them and adding height and grace to your appearance. Thanks, Alice.

After Alice was done with me, she thought she should get a head start on Renesmee. She’s terrified of Nessie becoming a ‘clumsy fashion faux pas’ once she’s fully grown. Again, her words, not mine. I felt bad for my little Nudger, but she loves being with Aunt Alice. Besides, once I get Alice those dress up dolls, Nessie will be saved. Hopefully.

Edward was back at the cabin by the time Alice finished with me, so I went back to be with him, still in my silk gown. By this time, Alice had put soft ringlets in my hair and a white flower in the crown she braided around my head.

Edward was more than pleased . . . .

Will write again soon.

-Bella.

 

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