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March

19th

Dear Diary (Moody)

Emmett and Rosalie enjoyed their hunt with Baylor today. They all seem to get along great. Emmett loves the early spring, when the bears are coming out of hibernation and are more irritable than ever. Though not a challenge for him, Emmett likes to hunt grizzly when they’re more vicious, moody.

Once they were finished hunting, they all came back to the Cullen house, where I was, along with Renesmee, Edward and Jacob. I was a little hesitant about Baylor meeting Jacob, but – aside from one small ‘bloodsucker’ comment under his breath – Jacob was relatively welcoming. Well, as welcoming as Jacob could be after finding out there was yet one more vampire residing in Forks now.

To my surprise, Baylor was extremely comfortable around Jacob, aside from his nose crinkling once or twice. We can’t help being repulsed by the smell of werewolves; similar to how the werewolves find our smell pungent.

Although at first Jacob was unnecessarily protective of Nessie around Baylor, he did become more relaxed as they conversed. It was nice to see everyone getting along, though.
I have to admit, at first, I thought things would be really different with Baylor here, but really, it feels the same. He is almost like Edward’s replacement. Emmett likes to goof around with him a lot – they act like brothers already. The only issue between Emmett and Baylor is that Baylor loves grizzly, too. This could get competitive. Good thing Emmett likes a challenge.

Alice has already seen great things for Baylor. She had a vision of him finding love, even. For some reason this thought scares me – the thought of him potentially falling in love with a human. I wont worry about the future, though. For now, I want to enjoy each moment as it comes.I’ll leave the future to Alice to worry about.

Edward is a little bit moody today. Though he is trying to understand Jacob and Renesmee’s relationship, it’s still hard for him to watch Nessie grow closer and closer with Jacob. She is growing closer to Jacob than she is to Edward now, and naturally, this is making Edward become slightly unhinged. We’re both aware of the fact that the unavoidable is going to happen, eventually. Jacob will – one day soon – become Renesmee’s husband.

The funny thing is, I don’t think Edward would choose any other person in the world to take his daughter’s hand in marriage. It’s not Jacob that gets Edward upset. It’s just that he feels as though his daughter is slipping away, faster-and-faster as the days go on. Neither of us expected for her to grow up so fast. Her intelligence is astounding, her growth rate is shocking and her presence in our lives has been a blessing. Her presence will always be here, she will just be forever bonded with Jacob. Like Edward, I cannot think of another person who I would rather see my beautiful little angel with. I know Jacob will always keep her safe, keep her happy.

In order to ease Edward’s tension, I often remind him of the fact that Charlie had to watch me slip away from him and into Edward’s arms, indefinitely. Then, he had to deal with my suspicious, rather alarming appearance change.

“I know, Bella. You’re right. It’s just a different feeling from anything I’ve felt before. I’ve never been… a Dad. It takes some getting used to.” Edward leaned in towards me, his breath dancing on my lips, and softly pressed those perfectly sculpted lips of his to mine. Though cold, I felt like I was on fire, as I always do around Edward. He has a way of igniting a flame inside of me; different, of course, from the scorching flame in my throat that flames up when I’m near human blood.

For now I’m going to go spend time with Nessie, Jacob and my love, Edward.

Will write again soon.

-Bella

February

10th

Dear Diary (Plans)

The sun came out today. It doesn’t show its face too often here in Forks, and when it does, we become hermits. It’s okay though; when you have a family like mine you don’t mind being stuck inside all day with them.

We took Nessie to the meadow for a while today. Jacob came, of course. His jokes about vampires and glitter never seemed to end. Jake tends to forget that when he morphs back into human form that he’s naked – so Edward and myself have a few jokes up our sleeves to fire back at him. Besides, Edward thinks I’m ‘beautiful’ when I sparkle. He no longer sees it as ‘the skin of a killer,’ thankfully. Edward’s love for me is unconditional, as is my love for him.

Edward and I are planning to go to Isle Esme for a couple of days. I crave being there. So many life changing things happened at Isle Esme. My memories are all too vague, and I want to go back to try and relive the experience, but in the right way.

Edward and I are having a real honeymoon.

Vampire and vampire. He can’t hurt me now, so he wont have to spend his entire time stressed and unable to enjoy himself. Plus, it’s hardly fair that I don’t exactly remember my honeymoon. I remember parts of it, mostly just the pain at the end though, when Nessie started to grow rapidly inside of me.

We’re not going to Isle Esme until Saturday afternoon. I will update you on the whole thing once I return. I’m going to sign off now and go lay in Edward’s arms on the roof of our home and look up at the glittery sparkles in the sky, the stars.

Will write again soon.

-Bella Cullen

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February

2nd

Dear Diary (Human Emotions)

From time to time, human emotions encapsulate me. If it weren’t for Zafrina —my friend from the Amazonian Coven—I don’t know if I’d be able to show Edward those emotions. She helped me realize my capabilities, and taught me to use them to my full potential.

Edward loves it when I do let him in. Somehow, however, I think he’s quite happy not knowing everything. It’s foreign to him, exciting. I guess it keeps him wondering, which isn’t something Edward is used to. Mostly, I’ve used my ability to show Edward how deeply, truthfully, and overwhelmingly exultant I am to be a part of his world. A world that I, at one point, never understood. A world that is mine now, forever.

I brought Renesmee to see Zafrina as I had promised. Zafrina adores our little angel, almost as much as Jacob does. Zafrina gets a kick out of seeing Nessie’s thoughts, especially when she sees how prominent Jacob is in all of them. Although she will never completely understand Jacob’s imprinting on Renesmee,  she does see that, when those two are together, they make each other smile, they make each other laugh. Edward sees it as well, and he is so grateful for the protection Jacob offers his little nudger.

When Jacob isn’t visiting Nessie, he’s in La Push, back in Billy’s house. Billy is happy to have Jake back there, back home. Everything in Jacob’s life has changed drastically, too. I mean, becoming a werewolf, fighting off vampires to defend other vampires, imprinting on a half–vampire half–human, and finally being able to be present in the same room as Edward without wanting to tear the paint off the walls is a fair amount to deal with. 

Jake’s happy now, though.

Peaceful.

Most importantly, he still sees me as Bella. The same girl he used to make mud pies with when we were little. I still see myself the same way, too. I mean, apart from the speed, incredible strength, my shield, and, of course, immortality . . . but you get  the point.

I’m going to sign off for now. I will write again tomorrow. Edward told me today that he has a “big surprise” for me. He’s full of surprises. I will write all about it tomorrow. Wish me luck. . . .You know how weird I get when it comes to surprises.

-Bella 

 

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