Dear Diary (From Mother To Daughter)

Edward could see how much I’d been hurting over the past while over Charlie’s shooting. He could see every emotion flow through me, from confusion, to anger. He could also tell how hard I was trying to conceal those emotions, to keep them hidden from Nessie. I never want to make her worry.

Earlier today, Nessie showed Edward and I her thoughts. When she touched us we saw her, Charlie, Jacob, Edward and myself gathered in Charlie’s living room. Charlie looked healthy and happy. We were all laughing and having a good time. It was a simple thought, but it brought a smile to my face. To see Charlie back to his normal self, to see us all together like that, it felt good.

Edward was very grateful for the thought, too. When I hurt, he hurts. I wish it wasn’t like that. I wish he didn’t feel my pain, but that is all part of giving yourself to another person. I gave all of me to him and he gave all of himself to me.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Edward walk into the room with my old rocking chair. The one that used to sit in the corner of my bedroom at Charlie’s house.

It looked different.

He had the chair refinished, and the words, “From Mother To Daughter” carved into the back panel. It looked as if he used a machine to carve the words, but he had completely done the whole thing himself.

The writing was so perfect. So smooth. So… beautiful.

Edward didn’t take his eyes off me when he said, “From one angel, to another. I made this for you, Nessie. It was your Mother’s.”

My expression must have been animated, because Edward flashed that crooked grin at me and raised one eyebrow. He had a playful, yet curious expression on his face. I let him into my mind to show him how much this meant to me. He spoke again, in a voice that seemingly gets more musical with every word. “This chair brings back great memories of the nights I used to have to watch you in your sleep to get close to you, Bella. Though I am quite fine standing, I enjoyed sitting in this chair because it had your scent on it. I thought it would look great in Nessie’s room, and maybe –if Jacob can fit – he can sit in there and watch her, like I used to watch you.”

Nessie was already rocking in the chair, smiling and twisting her head back to examine the carved words on the back. She ran her little fingers over the words and smiled. This meant more to me than I could express. And, most importantly, it would hopefully distract Nessie from my roller coaster emotions for the time being.

I gave Edward three soft, slow kisses on his chin, then thanked him one more time before heading over to the hospital to visit with Charlie for the last time before he would be released.

Carlisle said Charlie’s infection was all cleared up, and his wounds were healing nicely. He had color back in his face, too. His arm was still a little bit numb from the bullet that hit him in the shoulder, but Carlisle said that, with time, the numbness would fade and he would regain full strength in that arm.

I will be picking Charlie up in the afternoon. I spent last night watching him sleep, and fighting the scorching hot knives that were stabbing my throat, or seemed to be. The scents that flow through the hospital are tortuous, but being by Charlie’s side was the most important thing to me. Besides, I always felt safe knowing I had Carlisle there to help me when temptation became too much.

I have to run now. Edward and I are going to go decorate Charlie’s house with a “Welcome Home” banner, balloons, cake and a new flat screen T.V. we bought for him. He will be resting up on the couch quite a bit, and his old flat screen wasn’t very big, plus it was becoming outdated. We want him to feel like he’s part of the baseball game when it’s on. I think he’s going to be happy.

Will write again soon.

-Bella Cullen.