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February

9th

‘Breaking Dawn’ Set Fan Report!

One of our awesome readers, Laci M., had the chance to visit Baton Rouge recently and met some of the Breaking Dawn cast including: Jamie Campbell Bower (aka Caius), Michael Sheen (aka Aro) and Sarah Clarke (aka Renee, Bella’s Mom). How lucky, right? Well she was so kind and generous to send us in some photos to share! Check them out:

JamieCampbellBower


From Laci:

“Recently, my friends and I went down to Baton Rouge from Oklahoma. Met a few cast members. Even got on set of Breaking Dawn!! We met Jamie Campbell Bower, Sarah Clarke, & Michael Sheen. Got a pic of Bill Condon, also. Not to mention the people we saw, but didn’t get to meet. We also got pics of the wardrobe.”

♥ Thanks so much for sending these in Laci!

February

5th

Dear Diary (Part 1: The Ending)

I can’t help but compare my life to the intricately written chapters of a book; chapters written to display the fatal attraction humans will forever have to the forbidden fruit. The attraction we have to the unknown.

To danger.

Humans like to play with fire sometimes – just to see if they’ll get burned.

I feel my story has ventured through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but one thing that’s stayed consistent – whether I was human, or a vampire – is my irrevocable love for Edward Cullen; my personal miracle. He was once the forbidden fruit, the danger, and now he’s the sweet apple that rests in the palm of my hands; no longer virulent, no longer fatal.

That’s how I see it.

Edward, on the other hand, still struggles with the thick, unrelenting, haunting thought that he’s robbed me of my soul. My purity. The truth is, if my soul was sacrificed for this immortal life, then I robbed myself of it. To live this way, to die in order to be conscience –frozen – forever with Edward, was my choice.

Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve been through, I’d so it all over again to stay with him for eternity, forever.  To have Renesmee. To be part of this family; to be a Cullen. I would do it all again.

The pain.

The burning.

The sacrifice; it was all worth it.

On Monday March 28th, Edward and I will be heading back to Dartmouth College, like we had planned. I’m worried, but I know I couldn’t hurt anyone. Though it’s my instinct – to hunt, to kill – I know that I couldn’t carry on, for eternity, with the reality that I’d killed someone; taken an innocent human’s life. I did hunt down and kill those criminals who almost robbed Charlie of his life, but I felt that was justified. They were the furthest thing from innocent.

I think about Jasper and how difficult it was for him to resist the sweet–smelling bouquet of human blood back when I had just moved to Forks; how he almost turned me into a snack at the Birthday party that Alice the Cullen’s threw for me. Yet, he attended Forks High School almost every day – except, of course, on those extremely rare days it was actually sunny. He fought his natural instincts to feed on the mass of humans who walked past him or sat near him every day. His face gave away his struggles, yes, but he didn’t kill. He knew he had something good with the Cullens.

A family.

I’ve naturally always had more control than Jasper, so I think I’ll be okay. Besides, I’ll have Edward close by. He’s my constant reminder to practice control, to never slip up. If I did, the Volturi wouldn’t waste a second on my destruction. Leaving this world, leaving Edward, Renesmee, Jake, Alice… everyone I love, could never be worth the satiation of my thirst. It’s what I’ve been telling myself since I was turned. Control is the most important thing if I want to be here, with everyone I love, for this forever of ours.

Charlie went to visit Sue just a few days ago. He wanted to go to Forks, to his old white house, to adjust the heating now that the temperatures have dropped even more. We winterized Charlie’s house already, but we hadn’t anticipated such cold weather and only barely left the heat on enough to prevent the plaster and pipes from freezing. He needed to turn it up slightly to accommodate the new plummeting temperatures.

That was his excuse, anyway.

He let us know he would be seeing Sue before he left Forks. Edward already knew. He told me that Sue had been dominating Charlie’s thoughts since he’d last seen her. He missed her. Charlie knew Sue was angry about what he’d become. She felt as though his decision to be turned stole away any chance they had to form a bond, even a friendship. Sue is, after all, the Mother of two wolves, while Charlie is the Father of one vampire Daughter and a Grandfather to a half–human, half–vampire Granddaughter.

Sue’s loyalty will forever be to Harry Clearwater, her late husband. But Sue’s children – Seth and Leah – are part of our family now, regardless of what they are. We’ve done the impossible: found a way to work together with our mortal enemies. There is no reason for Sue to see it differently. And she is warming up.

When Charlie arrived back in New Hampshire he seemed happier, more animated.

“How was your visit to Forks, Dad?” I asked, mirroring his light, contented expression.

His pale face lit up more. “It was great, Bells. I turned the heat up a bit more to keep the place from freezing over.”

“You see Sue?”

“I did. She’s doing well.” His lips pulled up slightly on both sides, traces of a smile breaking through. “She asked me to say ‘hi’ to you all.”

I smiled. “Dad, I think you should spend more time with Sue. It’s just that we’re all coupled up, you know? I have Edward, Jake has Renesmee, Alice has Jasper… you get the point. I–”

Charlie interrupted me. “I do plan on it Bells. Sue’s special to me and I don’t mind taking my time with her. She’s been through a lot, too, and I don’t want to come on too strong. She has every right to be afraid of me right now. She’s human, after all. You might know a little something about the dangers of human/vampire relationships, I’d assume?”

I rolled my eyes, but Charlie was right. Though he admitted that Sue’s blood wasn’t even remotely appealing to him, Charlie was still a threat. Vampires need blood to survive, and that will never change. Our kind have killed so many innocent humans that it’s hard to understand that, with enough control and willpower, we can be compassionate.

“I have a little experience, yes,” I muttered guiltily, glancing back down at the book I was working on. “And as long as you’re happy, Ch Dad. I’ll always feel guilty about you getting in the middle of this crazy world and becoming this” – I pointed my finger back and fourth between Charlie and I – “all for me. For my life.”

“Bells, you know I chose this. I wasn’t going to bury my Daughter. That’s not how life should be; your kids should be the ones to bury you, not the other way around. I chose this.”

I sucked in a breath and nodded. “Just Be happy, Dad. Always.”

He smiled. “I will, I will. You too. Eternity’s a long time to be anything but.”

Edward walked into the room, his sweet scent trickling through my nose. He just got in from outside where he was building a snow fort with Renesemee and Jacob. I looked out the window when they were about half way done and decided it looked more like a snow mansion. One of the perks of super–human speed and strength.

Charlie nodded. “Edward.”

“Nice to see you’re back, Charlie. I hope your time in Forks went well.”

“I’m sure you can hear all about it thanks to your lovely prying abilities,” Charlie joked.

Edward grinned and my eyes froze on his face. I would never get immune to that grin. “I try to stay away from your thoughts, Charlie, but I do catch them unintentionally at times.”

Charlie laughed, a loud booming laugh I didn’t think he was capable of. “It’s you I’m worried about. I must bore you to death with my fishing and sports thoughts. Really though, I like having a son-in-law around who can read people’s intentions. It’s helpful.”

Edward inched a little closer to me then sat down on the arm of my chair and slid his hand around my waist. I arched my back slightly from the contact. Edward still dazzled me; his presence, his beauty, was something I’d never get used to.

“I’m glad you see it that was Mr. Swan,” Edward said in that smooth, velvet voice.

Charlie’s smile retracted as his throat began to burn. “Well, I’ll leave you two be. I have to get some deer into me.” He rubbed his hand over his throat and cringed. “This burning throat is one thing I could do without,” he mumbled to himself as he left the room.

The phone rang just as Charlie reached the kitchen. “I’ll grab it,” he groaned through the fire in his throat.

“Hello?”

I could hear a male on the other end. His voice was choked, but it sounded like Phil. “Is Charlie Swan or Isabella Cullen there please?” he asked.

“This is Charlie, how can I help you?”

The man – I was almost certain it was Phil – cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry Mr. Swan. I– she’s… ” then nothing. He broke down, his voice unable to push the words through his lips.

“Who is this?” Charlie asked, his lips a straight line, his body stiff.

“It…It’s… Phil,” he managed to get out, barely.

Edward and I ran into the kitchen. Alice and Jasper were coming down the stairs while Rosalie and Emmett slipped in through the kitchen door. Esme came down from her room where she had been ironing everyone’s clothes. Carlisle rushed down the stairs from his study. I heard the front door open and didn’t need to turn around to know it was Jake and Renesmee.

Alice came to my side, her eyes narrowed in on me. “I’m so sorry Bella.”

“What!?” I shouted, moving myself into the comfort of denial. “What are you sorry about? He hasn’t said anything yet, he can’t get it out.”

I felt something in my stomach twist and I froze.

I felt hallow.

Numb.

Afraid.

Everyone was looking at me, their mouths turned down, like frowning statues. Edward was holding me tightly around the waist, his expression distraught, his liquid gold eyes saying more than words ever could.

I knew I’d have to deal with losing people I loved. I knew I’d have to say goodbye to every human I knew, every human I met, but I wasn’t ready.

It was too soon.

Charlie stood frozen, the receiver almost crushing in his hand.

I grabbed the phone. “Hello? Phil? It’s Bella. You there still?”

He took a deep breath that quivered through his throat. He sounded like he was gasping for air. “Hi Bella, it’s Phil. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry,” he cried into the receiver.

“WHAT, Phil?” My voice boomed louder than it ever had in my life. My eyes flickered to Renesmee who looked terrified. I mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’ at her, then lowered my voice. Jake took Renesmee in his arms and she buried her head in his chest.

“Phil, is my Mother okay? Please Phil, please tell me what happened.”

“She’s gone, Bella. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”

I didn’t hear anything else.

I saw faces, statues. Beautiful statues surrounding me. Their voices sounded like humming; beautiful, peaceful humming. I looked out the window in the kitchen door and saw the icy snow dripping from the branches of the trees. I could see each tiny droplet of ice melt and detach itself from the rest then glide to the ground where it was met by a blanket of sparkly, white snow.

More humming.

The statues were so beautiful. Everyone looked perfect. Their faces perfectly symmetrical. Their voices like velvet; smooth, soft velvet. One of the statues took the receiver from my hand and it made me mad for a second, then I looked at the most beautiful one, the statue  standing next to me – the one with the bronze hair – and my anger dissipated. Just like the snow on the branches, it trickled away.

My eyes darted to the faucet. Water was slowly dripping from the tap.

Drip.

Drip.

Why was everything in the distance so clear to me, so vibrant, but everything up close was confusing?

My lips pulled back over my teeth and my hands balled in to fists. From the corner of my eye I saw a girl, she was young and the most beautiful of all the female statues surrounding me. She help hands with a boy; he was different. Something was off about him. I blinked hard and his eyes widened.

He was afraid. Of little ol’ me?

His fear enticed me, though.

I had control.

Things weren’t out of my control because I had control nestled right in the palm of my hand.

He pushed the beautiful statuesque girl behind him, protecting her. I didn’t want to hurt the girl though.

I wanted him…

The statues hummed at me some more. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, though. Too many of them were talking at once and so fast… it wasn’t normal.

My eyes scanned everyone’s face once more then landed again on the boy, the one who seemed different from the rest. I froze in a crouch and let out a malicious hiss. Two hands grabbed me on either side of my cheeks and I was brought face–to–face with the beautiful statue with the bronze hair. I focused just on him. I watched his lips and tried to make out what he was saying. His buttery golden eyes soothed me.

“Bella, it’s okay. We’re all here for you. It’s okay. You’re angry, you’re hurt. This is your first loss and you have the strength to hurt people, so please Bella, stay with me. I love you.”

He paused, then said something through his teeth –that wasn’t directed at me – without removing his eyes from mine. “Jake, take Renesmee and run with her. As fast and as far as you can. GO!”

I heard the door slam. I felt angry. I felt like if I just used my energy, the strength that surged through my body, that I’d feel better. But the statue’s words began to echo through my head: “This is your first loss and you have the strength to hurt people, so please Bella, stay with me. I love you.”

They repeated: “This is your first loss and you have the strength to hurt people, so please Bella, stay with me. I love you.”

Then, just the ending: “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.”

My body loosened up. I stood straight up and opened up my fists. I didn’t remove my eyes from Edward’s.

Edward.

-Bella

…To Be Continued

EDIT: I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project. The first book in the Willow series will be up in the early portion of this year). For now, I’m so excited for you to check out the novella I’ve written:

You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ HERE. I can’t thank you all enough for your endless support, and I promise to run contests to give back as soon as my books get off the ground!

For those of you who’d like to follow the progress of my Willow series, please ‘LIKE’ it on Facebook here. You can also read a tiny preview if you click ‘info’.

Feel free to come hang out at my personal blog here, where I post songs, pictures and will soon be giving more previews from ‘Willow.’ Thank you all so much for reading and for the support and encouragement you’ve all given. You have no idea how important your encouragement and kind words has been.

XO Krystal XO

September

2nd

Billy Burke & Sarah Clarke plus ‘Eclipse’ filming update

Eclipse Movie, Renée Dwyer, Sarah Clarke, Billy Burke, Eclipse Cast, Charlie Swan, Twilight Saga Eclipse Movie, Renée Dwyer, Sarah Clarke, Billy Burke, Eclipse Cast, Charlie Swan, Twilight Saga

Billy Burke (Charlie Swan) & Sarah Clarke (Renée Dwyer) were spotted in Vancouver. Sarah Clarke was leaving Vancouver, while Billy Burke was going for a stroll with his family. As far as ‘Eclipse’ shooting goes, Lainey Gossip has this to say:

“My sources tell me exclusively that scenes include: “Bella” reading “Jacob’s” letter, Bella and Jacob and their angsty discussions, “Edward” telling Bella he’ll always love her and that she will always be “his” (ew), and Bella hanging out with “Angela” (played by Christian Serratos) and they talk about boys and Bella’s Edward/Jacob love triangle.”

August

31st

Untagged Pics Of Bella in the ‘Florida’ Eclipse scene!

Funny that they created a ‘Florida’ scene in Vancouver. My friends who live there are telling me they haven’t seen very many warm or sunny days in a long time! Love Renee’s robe. =) Edward must be hiding inside, to keep out of the sun.

via TwiFans

August

31st

Dear Diary (Closure)

Renee seems different. She’s always been a ‘different’ person in general – eccentric – but she seems to have deviated from the person she used to be. Her eyes no longer hold that curious, vibrant spark they once did. She’s unusually calm, too. Renee is suffering, and it hurts to watch. I can already tell that her split from Phil is going to have a larger impact on her than she knows. Alice had some visions already, too, and one of them came true when Renee came back for another visit – in an attempt to escape her imperfect home life.

Charlie braced himself for another couple of days of having to endure the flames that burst their way up through his throat – the raw, scorching temptation. Renee didn’t seem quite as blown away by Charlie’s newly polished exterior this time, though. She didn’t really seem interested in anything, actually.

Although my human life is very blurry to me, vague, I still somehow remember the hole that formed in my chest when my entire life walked away from me, and promised I would never see him again. I wish everyday that those memories would have died in the fire that burned through my body as I was being turned, becoming a vampire. They didn’t, though, and I guess it’s a good thing in a way, because now I can understand what Renee is going through. Why the life in her eyes is fogged over with an obvious sadness. Her divorce from Phil won’t be anything like when my entire life, Edward, left me  – to protect me – because Renee gets over things easier than I do. But it will be hard.

Sue decided to make a surprise visit while Renee was visiting. Charlie was sitting at the small dinner table pretending to eat something Renee had made for him when we all heard the soft knock at he door. Edward knew it was Sue and shot me a sharp glance to warn me. The door was opening and Charlie was welcoming Sue in before anyone had the chance to say anything.

Great.

It got even better when Renee introduced herself as, “Renee . . .  Charlie’s ex-wife. As in Bella’s Mother.” Her voice was somewhat pretentious. Sue smiled and told Renee she was a friend of Charlie’s, then asked to speak to him, alone.

Of course when Sue and charlie went outside, Renee drilled Edward and I with questions. She has a bit of a jealous streak, but Edward and I did a good job of  ensuring her that Sue was just a friend. The longer Charlie took outside, though, the more Renee questioned that. I couldn’t take the suspense anymore so I asked to speak with Edward alone, upstairs. I needed some clarity, to know what Renee, Charlie and Sue were thinking. Not being able to read minds is a frustrating thing sometimes.

Edward confirmed Renee’s jealousy. It wouldn’t have taken a genius, or a mind reader, to figure that out. What I wanted to know was why Sue came to visit, and why she was talking to Charlie for such a long time. Edward answered that, too. “Sue misses Charlie, a lot. She wanted to know if he was more adapted to his new lifestyle.” Edward paused and quickly ran his long fingers through his hair. “Last time they spoke, she told him she would stay away until he was more adjusted to what he is now. She explained that she has feelings for him that are on a level far beyond friendship. She asked about Renee, too. It seems as though Charlie really cares for Sue.”

I bit my lip, worried about Renee; how this would make her feel. I thought about how it made Charlie feel when Renee started dating Phil. He wasn’t thrilled – but this is all part of life. You separate, then you eventually find someone new.

“I think we should stay out of this, love,” Edward began. “Let their lives fall where they’re supposed to.” He half smiled, though it didn’t touch his eyes. I realized he was right. This has nothing to do with me, and although I don’t want to see Renee hurt, I do want to see Charlie happy, based on his own decisions.

When we came back downstairs, Renee was engrossed in what seemed to be some vampire TV show. The actors sported fangs, but otherwise looked quite normal, human. Renee noticed us out of the corner of her eye and jumped a little. “Hey Bella . . . Edward, check this out,” she said, half laughing. “These guys are vampires, and there’s a big love triangle going on.” She pointed to the screen at the actors with the ridiculous looking fangs and continued, excitement filling her eyes. “The blonde girl used to be a human, but she became a vampire so she could live forever with that really good-looking vampire on the right.”

Edward laughed under his breath and looked at me, his hypnotic eyes almost making me forget about the awkward conversation we were having. Thankfully Charlie and Sue walked in the door just then. Charlie’s eyes were a bright crimson red and he bolted up the stairs, obviously aware of the fact that his contacts had dissolved. Sue must have told him.

“Well, I have to get going now. It was nice to meet you Renee. See you soon Bella . . .  Edward.” Sue smiled and didn’t seem to care that Renee completely ignored her. “Bye, Charlie. I’ll see you again soon!” Sue yelled up the stairs before opening the door to slip outside. But Charlie was back down the stairs so fast it would have looked like a blur to any human. I gave him a look that said, “Can you at least try to be a little less obvious in front of Renee!”

His eyes were brown again. “Let me walk you to your car, Sue.” Charlie’s face was serious, as if he was offended that she was going to go without a proper goodbye. Renee’s head spun back to look at them, and it almost looked painful for her to hold her head in that position. Sue welcomed the invite to have Charlie walk her to her car and they stepped out together, again.

Renee turned the TV off and thudded up the stairs to what used to be my bedroom. Suddenly it felt like I was her Mother. I felt like I should have been consoling her, but I didn’t. She needs time, and I know it’s hard for her, but Charlie doesn’t owe Renee anything. Besides, her scent is too much for Charlie to handle. Her entire visit has been torture for him. I can see the scorching iron burning him, turning his throat to ashes. Sue doesn’t smell good to Charlie, at all, but that might be a good thing. Easier.

Alice was right, Renee did get hurt, but Charlie didn’t do anything intentionally. He had felt his share of hurt from their relationship already, and can’t undo the damage. I know Renee will be fine, and I know Charlie will find happiness, too. For now, I think Charlie got the closure he needed after all these years. And he might not be human, and he might not completely remember the pain he felt from his human life when Renee left, but he still craved closure.

After Renee left to go back to Phoenix and close the sale on her and Phil’s house, Charlie finally took down their wedding photo. I didn’t say anything to Charlie about it, but Edward, of course read his mind. He took it down because he finally realized what happened years ago between Renee and him wasn’t his fault. He kept the photo up out of guilt and unwillingness to fail at something. He thought he failed with Renee, but he didn’t. He knows that now, thankfully. And I’m sure Sue will do a great job at reminding him just how great he really is.

I’m sure Renee won’t want to come back to visit again anytime soon after that, so before school starts we’re going to get everything together and move. I’m scared, but I’m excited, too. We’re keeping  Charlie’s house and the huge white Cullen house in Forks, and of course we’re keeping the cottage in the woods. At least I’ll still feel like I have a home in Forks. If we ever want to come back, we can do so discreetly.

I decided to post another entry from Edward’s diary next time. You’re probably getting a little sick of me now anyway. I know you all love getting to see life through his eyes sometimes, too. For now, I’m going to go play baseball in the clearing one last time before we leave Forks. It’s thundering. Perfect.

-Bella

EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ here!

XO

August

31st

Lainey has pics up of Bella’s Florida scene…

Lainey Gossip has pics up of Bella’s Florida scene and has this to say:

“Shooting today – Kristen Stewart’s “Bella” with her mom played by Sarah Clarke who arrived yesterday in Vancouver shooting a scene that’s supposed to be “Florida” at a beach house while “Edward” hides inside from sun.

This cannot be the best wig they could find. The hairline is embarrassing. It’s like Jacob’s hairline from the first movie. Is this Jacob’s wig? Did they recycle? Come on now. Even Ken Paves can do better than this.”

See the pics here!

August

10th

Dear Diary (Still The Same)

Nothing has really changed in Charlie’s house since Rene left—years ago. Other than the new flat screen TV and, of course, the new purple color-scheme in my now ‘pretend’ room, everything is pretty much the same. It’s still the same small, two bedroom house with one bathroom at the top of the stairs. There is still a sequence of pictures of me getting older, and Charlie and Renee’s wedding picture above the small fireplace in the family room. The kitchen cabinets are the same bright yellow color that Renee had painted them years ago, before she left, in an attempt to bring some sunshine into the house.

I thought I saw Renee’s jaw drop for a second as she scanned the house, noticing how similar it was to before she left. Her eyes kept meeting back with the wedding photo of her and Charlie on top of the fireplace, and I knew she thought it carried some sort of significance. She was right, too. Edward has heard Charlie thinking about Renee and their past on more than one occasion. He has always felt as though he failed Rene—and me—for not keeping the family together. I’ve always known it wasn’t his fault, though.

Charlie was still out hunting when Renee got to the house. He figured he should go right before she arrived, just to be safe. I was the only one there to meet her. Edward planned to join me once Renee was settled in, but before Charlie got there. He wanted to be there when Renee saw Charlie for the first time since his change. We figured that because Charlie didn’t have a hard time dealing with the scent of human blood to the extent that most newborns do, that he would do well around Renee.

We figured wrong.

When Charlie stepped through the front door of the house, he instantaneously clasped one hand over his nose and mouth. His eyes were a deep brown, thanks to the contacts, and he squinted like someone would if they were looking directly into the sun. I knew immediately what was happening. I had a vague flashback to the first time Edward tried to restrain from killing me because my scent was too tempting to him. I knew that Renee’s scent was stronger and sweeter to Charlie—causing his throat to feel like a freshly fueled fire pit.

I jumped swiftly between Charlie and Renee, careful not to move inhumanly fast; we couldn’t risk sending Renee’s mind and suspicion into overdrive. Edward was reading Charlie’s thoughts and mouthed the words, ‘He’s not going to hurt her’ to me, and I relaxed, un-clenching my fists—which had rolled into balls without me noticing.

Charlie’s hand dropped from his face and he guardedly half-smiled at Renee, who’s face was now more rosy than it was before Charlie walked through the door. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes were almost double their normal size. She was clearly taken back by Charlie’s newly polished appearance, and I was hoping she wouldn’t make a big deal over it. However, she did.

Edward shot me a half-grin when Renee compared Charlie to a vampire. “You are so pale Charlie, looks like living in Forks brings out the vampire in everyone, the lack of sunshine and all, you know . . . ”

Renee held her arm out next to mine to make note of the difference in color between her perfectly tanned skin and my porcelain skin. Her skin brushed against mine and she made a disimpassioned comment about my skin feeling cold next to hers. Luckily she just told me to put a sweater on and then moved onto the next topic before I even had a chance to get a word out.

The look on Edward’s face was confusing me. It was a mix between disgust and discombobulation. I could tell he wanted to tell me something. I figured I’d find out sooner or later and ignored the unusual expression. I assumed that reading minds is not always a good thing from the look on Edward’s face, and half-laughed to myself.

Renee’s visit was an eventful one, to say the least. Lets just say the unexpected happened, and she will be returning to Forks for another visit very soon. I will let you all know what happened in detail in the next entry. For now, I can tell you that Edward’s expression was understandable. Once we were alone, he explained what thoughts were going through Renee’s head when she saw Charlie for the first time since he was turned.

I won’t go into detail, but she liked what she saw—causing her mind to wander. I laughed sympathetically when Edward told me, and apologized for my mother. His grin was more conspicuous than usual, curling up equally on both sides. He shook his head, obviously embarrassed, before pulling me closer to him, wrapping his perfect arms around me.

Like most days, it’s gloomy and rainy in Forks, so Alice is taking Renesmee and I shopping for clothes. Nessie goes through clothes so fast because she keeps growing out of everything. Wish me luck. We all know how Alice gets with shopping and clothes. Nessie and I will probably come back with more clothing than we have room for.

Bella

EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ here!

XO

August

3rd

Dear Diary (Hope & Fear)

I made sure Edward and I were not on the same team—competition can be healthy, after all. Alice, Charlie, Carlisle and I played  against Edward, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. We gave their team an extra member to make up for the fact that our team had two strong new vampires.

My team lost—by a long shot. We had fun, though. Charlie was strong, but Edward’s speed  is hard to beat. We regretted giving them an extra member about half way through, once we realized we weren’t going to win. To be honest, I wasn’t keeping track of the score—I was too fixated on Edward, watching him so flawlessly dart through the trees, his sanguine expression . . . he melts me.

I don’t know how I can be so dead, yet feel so alive. I always feel so alive around Edward. When he’s having fun, his smile beams. He can almost make me crumble, regardless of my newly acquired strength.

Jacob and Renesmee played in the soaking-wet outfield—mostly just watching in amazement as the ball flew over their heads and out of their sight—while the blurred images of vampires shot in and out of the trees. Nessie has the strength to keep up with us, and she’s actually grown so much. She’s actually taking after Edward height-wise, but she insisted on staying in the field with Jacob.

While we were playing, Edward overheard Jacob’s thoughts and for the first time ever, Jacob was envious of us. Of vampires. Edward heard him wondering what it would be like to be able to have the strength and abilities we have. He was also thinking about how seamless his relationship with Nessie would be if he were a vampire. I never thought Jacob would think this way. He always seems so happy with himself—he’s always been my own personal sun, so bright and happy. Even when Jacob felt rejected after I chose Edward over him, he still never thought about life as one of us. It’s odd, actually, how things can change. Opinions change, people change, life changes.

When I checked my email today there were three messages from Renee. All sent within a seven hour time frame. The first one outlined how everything in her life was going “okay,” and how she wanted to come to Forks soon to see everyone. The tone, though written, gave away her dreary mood.

The second was sent almost immediately after the first, just because she accidentally sent the first too fast, before mentioning that she was available to come this weekend. She sent the third about seven hours later, and it pretty much consisted of her questioning why I haven’t gotten back yet, and a few blurbs about how she’s worried and will call if she doesn’t hear back soon.

I responded right away.

Renee is good at worrying, and the last thing I want is for her to become suspicious of anything.

After talking it over with everyone, I told Renee she should come for a visit at the end of the week. We are going to stay at Charlie’s house, and everyone will visit, of course. Renee insisted on staying in a hotel, but I told her she should save her money and just take my room. It’s not like I’ll need it, after all.

As for Charlie’s eyes—although he’s not happy about it—we’ve gotten him what seems like a human’s lifetime supply of brown contact lenses. Charlie’s suggestion wasn’t the most clever: he thought we could get away with telling Renee that red contacts were the “new thing.” I assured him she would catch on once she realized no one else was wearing them. He tried.

I already know I’ll be a nervous wreck when Renee is visiting. She can’t find out what we are. Last time a family member found out, he ended up becoming one of us in order to stay alive. This is not the life I would want for Renee. I mean, she’s a little ‘out there,’ but this is too much. They would try to destroy me, too. If Renee ever found out, another battle would ensue. I refuse to let that happen. I could never do anything to put my perfect angel in danger, either.

Time flies when you’re an immortal, and I know Renee’s visit will be fast. She will only be here for two short days. I can handle that, I think. It’s odd, actually, that a group of vicious, talented, exceedingly-strong vampires don’t scare me as much as Renee, a human. Of course, I’m more worried about her than anything, but worried nonetheless.

I hope I have nothing but good news to write in my next entry. I will update you all on Renee’s visit. Here’s to hoping for the best and fearing the worst.

-Bella

EDIT: Looking for a new dark love story to read? I have written a novella called, ‘My Darrling.’ (This is not the Willow series I’ve been working on, rather it’s a small side project.). You can read a preview and purchase ‘My Darrling’ here!

XO