Renesmee’s Diary – Nicole

January 1st, 2011

Dear Diary,

“I was transformed at age eighteen when groupies were ‘groovy’ and drugs fit right in with the music and excessive beer chugging.” Nicole pleated her skirt, shutting her eyes to remember her past life.

Her mortal life.

“In every corner someone was having a hallucination, or a new song was being played. Woodstock was one getaway in ’69,” she chuckled, bitterly, opposing her reminiscing urge.

It was a humble Tuesday night and we were wrapping up the New Year’s Day celebrations with Nicole. Upon request, I ripped up the pages I wrote about Nicole during Christmas. Nicole is very cautious about what I write about her for some reason. I did mention, though, that my diary is strictly confidential and that there should be no concern. Nicole just shook her head and demanded I not share much about her life. I wonder why….

This entry is perfect because Nicole is finally budding from her shy character to an energetic, outgoing figure. She finally agreed to tell her story, the story of before her life turned into “one secret.”

“I lived with my twin sister and widowed mother. I don’t know what happened to my father . . . he’s just not in any of my human memories – so I’ve theorized that he left, or passed on when I was quite young,” She began.

Esme gingergly wrapped her arm around Nicole, sheltering her with love that Nicole had never been exposed to before. It seemed Nicole wished to shake off Esme’s affection, but instead she politely grinned.

There were some things about Nicole that I fathomed, and some things that I wished I didn’t know. I’m not referring to her history, or the way she dressed or talked, but her personality. Nicole was a very insecure individual, trapped in a fragile, frightened soul.

“I’m frozen forever at sixteen. I don’t know what happened that night-” She paused and her eyes searched for guidance and in no time Carlisle nodded, encouraging her to move on. “- I believe I was born in Connecticut, but I only remember living in upstate New York – especially in my teen years, and that one summer at Woodstock.”

Jacob crept into the room now and huddled by my side, relieved that his early morning patrol was completed.

“Did you do drugs?” Emmett asked, blind that his question was anything but mindful.

Before Rose was able to disdain Emmett’s innapropriate behavior, Nicole answered. This was not something I expected, since Nicole was typically shy and timid when it came to being personal. However, at the same time, she oddly didn’t seem ashamed of her answer, but proud that she finally let a strand of her “secret life” escape so she wouldn’t have to hold in the pain by herself.

Other’s could sympathize with her and understand. Nicole was beginning to sense this was not your average immortal/mortal family. And not because we consisted of four different species, but because we all loved and adored each other for who we were. We were all about protecting each other from harm because of love–insecurity is unnecesary because we’ve all had our faults here. 

“Well I’m going to be blunt here. Since you’re all from different times and most of you have lived through the 60s and 70s I’ll pardon my distrust. I trust that all of you understand that drugs were very popular, and like any young person, I did drugs. No, I’m not proud of doing them, but I never had anyone to tell me not to. My mom was a hippie, unconditionally devoted to drugs, booze, men, and music. In fact, I called her Charlotte, not Mom. She wasn’t Mom to me. She was Charlotte.”

I know my mother cringed at that one. She called her own father Charlie because she was never close enough to him to call him “Dad.” Nicole had a valid reason though, to refer to her mom as Charlotte. Not that I personally know Charlotte, but I can see that she was not a mother at all. Her focus was never directed towards her children, but her own selfish desires. Nicole shielded herself from seeping emotions in and out. It was understandable because she had no one to depend on, it seemed.

“I loved my sister very much and I could count on her… but she was like Charlotte, always becoming involved with the wrong people.” She braced herself for a second, almost as if she were going to bawl (if she could), then continued. “I don’t know where she is. All I know is that she became a very malicious, blood-thirsty monster. When me and her awoke from our transition from human to immortal, there was an eerie man watching us intently. He introduced us into the world of vampires and then that was it…..we never saw him again.” She shrugged, clearly devoid of words. She had just revealed her entire life story to us, something we all would remember, forever.

“Do you by any chance, recall what the man looked like?” My father asked. I knew there was something up his sleeve, as always.

“No, not really. Just dark brown hair and a navy T-shirt….that’s about it.” My dad’s face perplexed as he contemplated who the estranged vampire was. His face duplicated that of a lost child, which meant my father had no leads.

“It was probably just an ordinary vampire who saw the gathering at Woodstock and seized the oppurtunity to attack,” Carlisle offered, to provide some relief.

“Hey, is that Chanel?” Nicole was instantly intrigued with Alice’s sense of fashion. Even though I’m a bit bummed I’m losing a chance to accumulate a new friend, I’m glad Nicole will befriend Alice because it means I can finally dress myself. This way, Alice will be distracted by Nicole’s interest.

“No, I’m wearing Valentino,” Alice corrected, now seeing Nicole as a rookie.

“That’s what I thought, I never liked fashion, I just liked stealing everything,” Nicole laughed, stumbling then having to catch herself in the process. Maybe this girl was more down to earth than I thought.

“Come on, Ness—let’s help Esme clean up,” my mother urged. Even with all the vampires in the world, there would never be enough hands to help clean the damage hauled upon us from an entire pack of famished guests.

Just as I was on my way, I collided with Nicole. Images of me and…her projected in my head. We were chanting “Ring Around the Rosie” in pearl-white dresses, barefoot. She saw it too because she glared at me, astonished.

I don’t know how to explain what happened. All I know is that I have to assist Esme and my mom now.

With love (always),
-Renesmee  Cullen<3




Renesmee’s Diary – Approaching Solutions

Dear Diary,

I couldn’t quit contemplating over the events that had occurred at my party. They were all bottled up, anticipating an explosion of mixed responses from me.

First, the dress that had hypnotized me into believing I was a heiress unto the throne of beauty. Next, I was reunited with Billy and Zafrina, my “soon to be” friend. Even though my moment with Jake didn’t last as long as I’d wished, an old acquaintance stopped by.

Despite its eeriness, the glamour of the ocean blue-pearl sapphire necklace complimented me well. The reason this subject has not been able to escape my mind is due to the fact that I’m not sure if my family knows he came. After all, every party guest noticed the 20 carat sapphire plumped in between my collarbones. It was just assumed Alice had bought the extravagent gift.

“Excuse me miss,” a weary man interrupted my thoughts, reaching for corn flakes on the adjacent shelf. This was a wake-up call. I came here to grocery shop with Jacob, not ponder on and on about the party.

“Hey, do you know if this is any good?” the stranger asked, waving a box of some fruity cereal.

My shrug was enough of an answer as I pushed my cart torwards the meat aisle. Beef was on sale, which meant well for Jake and the pack. Chili, steak, meat loaf, beef stew, triple bacon cheeseburgers, pasta with meat sauce, and pot roast. All of their favorites under the culinary genius known as Esme, Bella, and moi.

I hoarded all the stocked beef, deploying it in my now miniscule cart. I certainly felt guilty, but so would I if I didn’t feed the boys, he he.

“Got anything, good?” Jacob appeared, tampering through my cart. I couldn’t quite compete with his carts, though. How did he do it?

“Nice, nice….I can almost smell the sizzling patties…this time with a kick of BBQ sauce and….onion rings!” He presented a box of frozen onion rings while I just rolled my eyes.

“And I suspect you’ll be wanting a cowboy hat, too?” I bit my lip to contain my arising laughter.

“Yee haw! Well I’m going to giddy on up to the bread aisle. Need anything?”

“No, I’m just going to grab some pie crust and cookie dough for later.” I winked, then headed torwards Jake’s favorite aisle, tiered with rows and rows of sugar.

“Hey, Renesmee. I didn’t think I’d see you, again.” This time it wasn’t a stranger, it was…

“Nahuel, I didn’t think so either. It truly is a small world, right?” I awkardly giggled, attempting to focus on which pie crust I should buy.

“I see you liked my present. You wore the necklace the rest of the entire night.”

“Yes, it was very thoughtful of you.” I cut short because thanking him for coming all the way to my party from who knows where was not appropriate. I still do not know if Alice invited him, even though I requested that all vampires that were risking their lives for me be there–which did include Nahuel.

“So it seems you enjoy life here in Vermont. I’m beginning to become aquainted myself,” he chuckled, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“Yes, the scenery is pleasing.” I grasped a bag of chocolate chips, still avoiding his eyes.

“Nessie, that’s your nickname, right?”

I nodded, still ignoring his presence.

“Can I be blunt, Nessie? I actually came here to talk to you. My sisters’ lives are in jeopardy.”


Dear Diary,

I don’t know why I was uncomfortable around Nahuel. I feel selfish, ashamed and even more guilty than if I were to deprive the grocery store of all its merchandise. Nahuel came to me to seek my help. Something only I could provide him with.

I offered Nahuel a ride to my house, which he declined because he could sense I was swamped with plenty of chores. Instead, I agreed to meet him the next day at a park to discuss everything.

“Hey, how’s the songwriting coming along?” Jacob peeked his head into the recording studio. I extended my arms, opening for a bear hug. There wasn’t a bear hug, but a tender one and he dived in for a kiss, which I graciously accepted.

This is exactly the relief I had been waiting for all day. I used my fingers to trace the contours of his eight pack and curled my legs around his waist so he could hold me. My lips searched beyond his lips, circling around his neck then moving onto his ears.
He returned the gesture with soft kisses and began caressing my cheeks.

Either Jake’s intense body heat transferred onto mine, or we had fueled the heat. I didn’t dare pull off any risky stunts like removing his shirt because he’d cease my efforts within seconds. However, I was satisfied, arrested against his buff body. If there’s no mystery then there’s no yearning for more.

He released me, scrutinizing my work. I have to admit, I went from elated to nervous in less than a second. I know Jake would never insult or rebuke any of my creations, but this song just happened to be about us. I have no experience in the writing field, except from what I’ve attained from writing in my diary.

“Well, I better start preparing the pot roast. It takes a few hours–,” I tried to excuse myself.

“Ness, wait. Is this about us?” he questioned, confused.

“Yes,” I mumbled, my cheeks returning to a red hue.

He grinned, then rewarded me with a warm kiss to my delight.


Following dinner, it was time. I had to reveal Nahuel’s arrival and our plotted meeting tomorrow.

“Everyone, please gather in the living room for a family meeting,” I announced, not having to raise my voice (one of the perks of living with vampires and having a werewolf boyfriend).

Everyone hustled down, except for Carlisle and Esme who arrived in a fashionable manner.

I clasped my hands, anxiously awaiting everyone’s response to my news. “Alice, did you invite, Nahuel to my party?” I asked, though more in a demanding tone.

Jacob glared at Alice, like she was his adversary. I didn’t pay attention to that, because Jacob would have to understand that Nahuel didn’t come here to deceive us. He aquired my help to approach solutions to questions he could not answer.

“Yes, Nahuel and Huilen, but I never heard back from them,” Alice answered, and my Father’s face tightened. Maybe all the party guests’ chatter  tuned me and Nahuel out, but it never dawned on me why my Father hadn’t mentioned anything to me. Maybe my thoughts were private?

“Nahuel did come to the party, he just never came in. He was the one who bought me the sapphire-pearl necklace. I’ve arranged a meeting with him tomorrow at the park. He delivered unfortunate news about his sisters. He doesn’t know what’s happened to them and he’s enlisting my help,” I explained, searching my mother’s reaction. She would comfort me and serve as my support if my plan with Nahuel went sour.

“Renesmee, you should have told me this immediately. We don’t know if his intentions are genuine,” My dad bashed, completely plundering my spirits. “You will have your meeting here tomorrow at the planned time with no exceptions,” he finished, while I tugged on my curls.

I loathed the moments when I disappointed my father. He was right, I should have told at least someone after the Nahuel incident. However, my less noble side disagreed. This was between me and Nahuel, not my family. I honestly cannot see how someone—finally someone—of the same species could hurt me in any way.

Bruised with dishonor, I crept to the kitchen to binge on cookie dough. Of course the cookie dough had been gorged already. I laughed to myself.

Well ciao for now, friends,

-Renesmee <3

P.S. At this moment I am planning my mother’s belated birthday party (she refuses to have one every year, but we still celebrate it).




Renesmee’s Diary Is Back!

This news post is for those of you who visit us to read the fan-fiction. I’m so excited to let you all know that Alexandra, the writer of Renesmee’s Diary, is back! She had left for some time due to her workload piling up, but missed stepping into Renesmee’s little shoes to write as her!

Alexandra will be writing as often as time allows her and appreciates all your patience!

Please click here to read Alexandra’s note to all her readers! Click here to read the newest entry if you haven’t already.

Welcome back to the Bella’s Diary team Alexandra/Renesmee!
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Renesmee’s Diary – Quiet Thoughts

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in you in awhile. I’ve been hoarded with massive mounds of work. Please forgive me, Diary.


It was pretty awkward mingling in a room filled with vampires, some who ate humans, and of course the vegetarians. Then there were the werewolves, who clearly chose not to mingle and avoided the vampires at all costs. The only humans here were Jake’s Dad, Billy and Sam’s fiancee, Emily. (Imagine how they must have felt being singled out.)

Of all things distracting, my dress was it. “Are you sure this isn’t too much?” I asked *Nicole, my new best friend, who we had discovered a few months ago. She is an ex-nomad, but desired to be a part of the vegetarian lifestyle and took under the guidance of my family.

“What??!? Are you crazy, you look gorgeous! Besides, Jacob can’t keep his eyes off you.” Nicole is definitely transforming into Alice, seriously. Which contradicted her appearance because from far away Nicole truly does look just like Rosalie. Nicole has long, shimmering blond hair and a model figure along with all the other vampire features.

I was celebrating my 16th Birthday Party (sixth technically) and I was almost going to forever be a young adult. I still have some more of developing to do, but in the mean time I consider myself a teenager – or in Alice’s words “a young lady.”

This wasn’t your average 16th Birthday Party because it wasn’t a “Sweet Sixteen.” This year I informed my family that it was strictly not what I wanted. I wished for a quiet family get-together, and possibly a chance to reunite the vampires and wolves that saved my family’s –and my own – life a long time ago against the Volturi. Even though I was fairly intelligent and able to learn and retain information, I could still never remember the names of all the family friends. Thankfully, my mother made a Vampire Index a while back with each coven listed alphabetically.

“There she is! The woman of the hour!” Alice announced, skipping towards me.
“Let me see, twirl in that dress!” She ordered as I spun. This dress did make me feel like a princess, though I’d never admit it (and don’t tell Alice, either). I was flaunting the “Tallulah Princess Dress” by Alice & Olivia paired with velvet Christian Louboutin pumps. I did feel like a supermodel, I confess. For all I knew, maybe Jake had been staring at me the whole evening… after all things had been going swell for us.

Following Alice’s perpetual fashion extolling, Nicole had fled to re-apply makeup.
“There she is, my wonderful Renesmee.” Billy wheeled up, opening for a hug. I adored his presence because he always treated me as family, always.

“Hey, Billy. Thanks for coming. I know it’s a hassle to endure an eight hour flight from Washington to Vermont.” I greeted him, returning his hug.

“Coming here for your mother’s stuffed mushrooms is always worth the flight.” He laughed heartily, though I often wondered how Billy managed to get to the stuffed mushrooms before the pack does. “Of course your mother keeps a special stash for me, along with everything else. Not even my son could resist gourmet delicacies enough to spare his father some.” We both grinned, because we knew it was true.

“Hey what happened to all the stuffed mushrooms?!” Seth interjected, clearly indicating he had been eavesdropping on our conversation.

“Let me guess, Jacob and Sam ate them all, and now you’re going to beg me for my stuffed mushrooms. I don’t think so, Seth,” Billy responded quickly then looked at me. “Pardon me, Nessie, but I have h’orderves to protect.” He laughed, but wheeled away like James Bond escaping a bomb explosion.

I was caught off-guard by the woman behind me, who dashed at vampire speed beside me.

“Nessie, child. I remember that angelic face and it hasn’t disappeared.” Of all the vampires that had obtained the risk to cease his own existance and fight in my honor, I recognized the dark olive brown skin and the charcoal haired woman. Her hair was fashioned in a braid and she was fitted in a cross leather and cheetah print dress. Zafrina, my friend to be.

We shall be great friends, my Nessie,” were the words she had mouthed six years ago. I was certain at this point this was my chance to befriend her. I didn’t know the next time she would visit me. Zafrina charmed me with her outgoing, eccentric personality.

Zafrina was the light to my tunnel during those nervewrecking days of preparing for the Volturi arrival. She amused me more than any other entertainer could by sharing witty jokes – or complimenting my beauty. Above the rest, I admired Zafrina’s gift to project an illusion in one’s mind. She transported me to places I wished to be – where I was content and distracted from the intimidation of the Volturi that was to come. For that, I am grateful.

“Zafrina, it’s wonderful to see you again. I am very thankful for the sacrifice you made for me that day, and thanks for coming out. I know the Amazon isn’t exactly in this neck of the woods.” I chuckled. It truly was a pleasure to see her again with all her wild features.

“Anything for a friend. How have you been since I left? It’s clear you can speak English perfecto now.”

“Yes, I’ve certainly grown since you’ve last seen me.” Zafrina scrutinized my beaming dress. I couldn’t help but imitate a model posture and add a crooked smile for good measure.

“My, yes you have developed. Well a Happy Sixteenth Birthday, friend. I’ll have to see you later. I believe you’ll enjoy being planted in the middle of a rain forest, again.” She winked, then vanished in the crowd.

I eyed Jacob soon after Zafrina had left. He was handsome as always, and it always seemed a mystery to me why at these parties I didn’t notice him ’till halfway through, which lead myself in an awing trance. It’s horrible, really. I spot him, then I stare, melting ’till one of us approaches the other. It seems impossible at the stage of our relationship, really. However, dating seems surreal to the both of us, and has since we began. Jacob has been my best friend for far too long for me to ever become used to feeling in love with him.

“You’re doing it again,” Nicole noted, waving her hands continuously a few inches in front of my eyes.

“I know, this time I realized it. I guess I’m making progress,” I chuckled.

“Why don’t you go over there and talk to him?” Nicole suggested, nudging me forward.

“You know what? I was just thinking that.”

I practically glided over to him, serenely and cool. Although he didn’t look, I knew he caught me coming. He was acquainted with a love seat, amused by the vampire girl who detected lies.

I grinned as I passed guests and made my way towards him. It was probably this dress that awarded confidence with the glam and sparkle of it. Not to mention everyone so far had sincerely complimented the way I looked. That is not an easy task to perform once crowded in a room with powerful vampires.

“Hey, stud,” I whispered in is ear. I couldn’t believe how drastically the dress changed me. I was beyond confident and….sexy in that dress. This was not like Nessie Cullen.

Jake smiled in response and said, “Excuse me, Maggie, and thanks for the chat.” Maggie seemed keen on him, which is quite odd as no immortal here besides my Mother, Carlisle, and Esme looked at Jacob that fondly.

Jake gingerly clasped my hand and led me outside to the front porch. Once we noticed we were alone, our lips met in perfect harmony. (This was definitely the highlight of my day.)
He caressed my cheek and I was glad it was too dark out for him to notice me blushing.

“Jacob!” Billy called from inside. I guess this was goodbye to a perfect night already.
Jake softened his face into an, “I’m sorry, but I have to go” expression, but of course my man didn’t leave me hanging.

“I love, you,” he whispered gently, before, to my dismay, he left.

I decided it was best to lounge out there awhile since the party left me feeling like a needle in a haystack. I’d never really appreciated how large my property was. The backyard alone was approximately an acre and I used to love sprinting across it (or chasing Jacob, he he).

However, there was a boundary I was not to cross, ever. Beyond the boundary laid the woods. I was not to step foot in the woods unless I was at least being guarded by one werewolf or vampire. I knew there was no possibility of me ever going through the forest on my own as my footsteps were heard and my every move was being watched. Even with this understanding, there was one time I permitted myself to think about what it would be like to rebel against the golden rule and explore nature at its best, on my own.

My Father had gone grocery shopping with Esme, so of course there was no one to peruse my thoughts. My thoughts were private, my own. I abused my Father’s absence to consider journeying into the unknown world of dangers. Imagine if I had attempted to cross the boundary line? I would have been caught speedier than a prowling cheetah.

Just as I was about to return to the party, my eyes hooked onto a shiny, glowing object. It was an array of pearl and sapphire.

“You like it?” a vaguely familiar voice asked. He was off somewhere in the distance, overshadowed by the darkness so I couldn’t see him.

“Well yes, it’s stunning. You’re lucky to have it,” I answered, even though I obviously do not believe this man wears the necklace himself.

“Since you like it so much, it’s yours. After all, it is your Birthday.” I guess you could say I was terrified then. I was, but even more-so, my curiousity became more augmented by the second. Who was this stranger? From what I gathered, it was obviously a vampire because his voice was too smooth, too flawless.

I hesitated to grasp the necklace, it seemed like an inapropriate gesture even though it was offered to me.

“Go ahead, take what is yours.” He handed me the necklace and in the porch light I could see who it was. His long black braid was slicked back and his rich, coffee brown skin was dressed in a business suit.

“What a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know you’d be here.” I honestly didn’t know if Alice had invited him. It would be rude of me to ask him, so I would have to avoid that question.

He flashed a grin and submitted his hand. His hand was, as expected, a mutual temperature.

“May I place the necklace on you? It would perfectly compliment your dress.” I nodded, lifting my curls while he secured the necklace.

“Thank you for the gift. If you don’t mind me asking, where did you come from?”

“I just went hunting. Do you hunt?”

The answer was no. I quit hunting a few years ago. As I became older, hunting interested me less and less. It was fun as a child, an activity I cherished with Jacob. After awhile, though, my human morals emerged. Despite the “vegetarian” lifestyle, I couldn’t allow myself to kill anything. I preferred Carlisle to just supply the blood for me, human blood that had been righteously donated. I seldom drank the blood, only when I really needed it, not wanted it. It’s not that I would ever turn my back on being a half-vampire, but I found it challenging to maintain vampire traditions while having to pretend to be human half the time.

Seeing him made me feel quesy, so I mentioned it was “Birthday present time” and dashed back to the party scene, that strangely made me more comfortable than the previous interaction I had with him.

I’ll write again when the party has ended. See you later!


Dear Diary,

What a spectacular party! Everyone, including the pack has left except for Jake. I can’t blame them, I am a bit woozy myself.

One of my favorite accents of a Birthday party? Presents! I’m actually using a gift as I write.

Daddy bought me an actual feather pen and ink, which has been used by Thomas Jefferson himself. This pen is the last thing I thought anyone would ever buy me, but my family are the Cullens, right?

Alice didn’t hesitate to go all out, refurbishing my walk-in closet with “new shoe organizers, golden hooks, new lighting, and a runway with a five-sided mirror.” Oh, and not to mention, new attire was apart of the “refurbishment.”

Rosalie went with a classic car. I couldn’t blame her after all, as she said,  “Renesmee, it’s still your ‘Sweet Sixteen’ and every girl deserves a car on her sixteenth birthday.” Although, I highly doubt Rose had been to a sixteenth Birthday party in about a century and I had clearly classified my party as an “Unsweet Sixteen.”

The car she did buy me was pleasing, however. It was a vintage Mustang convertible, which she spruced up and painted pink. Rosalie even included modern fixtures like a built-in GPS system and a screen that played movies. Not to mention the brand-new leather seats and the sound surround speaker system. I definitely wouldn’t mind making myself comfortable in that vehicle.

My mom, as always, presented me with a gift not as lavish. Nonetheless, it was just as extrodinary. My mom managed to piece together a photo album of me throughout the years from birth up till last week. There was even a picture of me dancing the cha cha with daddy when I appeared to be about 10 years old. Even Jake exploded with laughter on that one.

“Thanks, Mom. I love it. You always know how to rekindle fond memories.” I celebrated with a heart-to-heart hug because this was definitely something I could keep forever and share with everyone for a long time.

Alice seemed satisfied too, glowing with bursts of joy. “Yes, thank you Bella, this means Nessie won’t forget how many times I dressed her in Gucci, Vera Wang, Marc Jacobs, Alice and Olivia, Vers—”

“Alice, now it would be our pleasure to share Renesmee our gift,” Carlisle interrupted. It always dazed me how Carlisle could be so smooth and polite, even when he disagreed with something. This feature must be associated with his impeccable willpower to resist human blood. This time everyone sided with Carlisle because listening to Alice ramble on and on about fashion designers severly drained one’s mind. (Sorry, Alice!)

“We thought you could use this,” Esme unvieled what looked like a basket.

“Whoah! That’s a basket filled with cookie recipes, cookie molds, and sugar. You shouldn’t have!” Jacob roared while I lightly punched him. There was no purpose in attempting to punish him. My hand would be the one suffering the consequences if I punched too hard.

Even though Esme and Carlisle’s gift was sweet, he he, I was beaming with building hysteria. I couldn’t contain myself.

Jasper understood my passion for music like Alice’s passion for fashion, so he coordinated with Emmet to build me my very own recording studio.

“Where is it? WHERE?” I commanded, more than asked.

“Left of the basement,” Jasper chuckled. Before I made my descent, I hastily hugged Emmet and Jasper.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” And I bolted towards my “recording studio.” I couldn’t believe it.

This was all mine. To top it off, my guitar, as well as two other acoustics were hanging on the wall, anticipating my use. In addition, there was an original black Les Paul at the center (there was an authenticity tag on it). Besides my family would never settle for anything less than an original. The more original, the more pricey it is.

I am eager to experiment with cooking and with using my recording studio. But for now I think I’ll be heading up for bed.

With love,
-Renesmee <3





Renesmee’s Diary – What Do You Live for?

Dear Diary,

What do you live for? That is, of course, if you live at all. . . . 

“Have a holly jolly Christmas! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Here comes Santa Clause, here comes Santa Clause . . . ” Jacob rang through the living room helping me assemble all the ornaments on the tannenbaum tree.

I chuckled and he directed his eyes to me in a questioning tone.

“You sang three different Christmas songs. Oh, Jake,” I said as I collapsed to the floor, unable to manage the laughter. And on top of that, Jacob was far beyond off key which made me to laugh even greater.

“Come on Jakie, I’ll race you outside for another snowball fight!” And I dashed for my coat and my wool cap laced with a silk bow to prepare for the most jolly weather of all; a winter wonderland.

Winter has to be my favorite season of all because of all the holiday cheer that is distributed from all the different seasonal holidays. And no matter what religion, or beliefs one abides to, everyone gathers together for the ending of another year.

I also enjoy the typical holiday festivities which include Grandma Esme’s delectable cookies and baking several Bûche de Noël to appease the palate. Though I’m not inclined to join a group activity such as singing in a choir, I do sing Christmas carols for my family.

And who could forget the snowball fights with Jake? Over the years his excuses for losing against me have become more lame. Especially since now that I’m older and have an increase in my fighting chance of winning, he now excuses his losses with, “Esme’s homemade cookies and cocoa is giving me a stomachache.”

I hid behind a garbage can fortress that I constructed five years ago solely for the purpose of snowball fights. It was made of three garbage cans bonded together with rope. This made winning even more simpler than a breeze because I could stash pre–made snowballs inside the cans. And when I wished to shoot, I’d just aim at Jacob’s body and release the ball a million times to sweep the victory.

I immediately scooped a pile of snow then formed it into three snowballs at a time. Jacob threw a few balls at me, but of course missed each time.

“Awww c’mon, Ness!” He pleaded as I bombarded him with the snow.

It was difficult to grant him mercy when torturing him was endless fun. I couldn’t help but direct the snow at his face, it bothered him the most.

But after a while, I just ceased the process and collapsed in the sea of snow. Jake would lay beside me and watch with astonishment as I flapped my arms and legs to create snow angels in the snow. I think what surprises him the most is how gentle and serene I am; there are no surprise attacks like with the snowball fights… just me relaxing in my favorite weather, in the snow.

He did something different this time. Instead of gazing at me for the entire time, he molded his warm palm into mine. It didn’t matter who was watching or what was happening, but we both pressed our lips against each others for a bliss–filled moment under the snowflakes that danced around us.

Jacob lifted me up and cradled me in his arms as I inhaled his sweet breath. As always, he headed for the kitchen, hypnotized by Esme’s hearty lamb stew and hot cocoa with whipped cream.

Watching your werewolf boyfriend scarf down an entire pot of stew was not strange. But seeing him under the mistletoe dressed formally with Chanel Allure Homme Sport cologne was.

“Nice Santa suit… er… dress, Ness,” Jake said as he eyed me from head to toe. I was also sporting my high heel boots to complete the Santa look.

“Where’s Grandpa Charlie and Billy?” There was no sign of them as my pupils scoured the room. Carlisle and Esme had invited them like always, but they weren’t there.

“Charlie is down with the flu and Billy didn’t want to leave Charlie alone for Christmas,” Jacob answered.

Disappointment crushed my holiday cheer especially since I was I was going to sing my rendition of “Christmas Must be Something More” by Taylor Swift.

I slowed the song down a bit and incorporated different guitar chords.  And without my grandpa and Billy, I was more reluctant to perform.

My mother was busying herself with pleasing the wolf pack and their imprints with stuffed mushrooms and devilled eggs. My Dad was playing on the piano a song I recognized as “Silver Bells.” Alice was taking pictures of everyone, bouncing from person to person, highly giddy as usual. Rose and Emmett were huddled by the crackling fire, not needing to bathe in it like the humans in the room, but they enjoyed looking at it regardless.

In between our New Hampshire home’s two piece grand staircase, was a stage. My Father insisted that it be built for my performances that I did every–so–often for special events and even for simple home entertainment.

On the stage, however, was something rather peculiar even in the light of Christmas Eve. It was a ginormous present, about the size of a golf cart.

Jacob walked up to the present and whispered something into it. Yes, he whispered into the gift.

Instantly I could notice the top of the gift begin to rise and two men dressed as Santa popped out like Jack-in-the-box.

“Surprise, surprise!” they both cheered, as the taller Santa pushed the other Santa in a wheel chair. To my wretched heart, I couldn’t believe it. It was Grandpa Charlie and Billy – both dressed as Santa!! This had by far been the best Christmas surprise of all time!

“Ho, ho!” They cried as they allotted mini gifts to everyone. How they got in that present, especially behind my back, I’ll never know. The most important part of it was their presence and that they were going to celebrate Christmas with us. That’s all that mattered to me. I love the both of them, my Grandpa and my soon to be father-in-law.

After the distribution of their gifts, I replaced the opened gift box alongside my guitar.

Jasper seemed to find this humorous because he was chuckling and soon everyone else formed a harmony of laughter. It must have been an inside joke that I obviously wasn’t included in.

“Renesmee, look at the guitar you’re holding,” Uncle Jasper finally announced, which seemed to end the laughter.

And when I looked at the guitar I didn’t see my guitar but another one. It was a brand new, shining maple acoustic/electric from Fender.

“Thank you,” I chuckled at myself for not even realizing the new treasure I was holding.

“Well play it, dear. We know you’ve been eying this guitar for awhile,” Esme chimed in. It was true, I had been spotting this guitar months.

So I performed my song to the eager audience and I even added in “Jingle Bells” so everyone could sing-along. Jake’s flat voice stuck out from the rest, but nonetheless it was a joyous event.

Following my performance, the Christmas roast was served….five heaping pot roasts to be exact. All the immortals pretended to join in on the meal just to make the dining experience a little less awkward for the human guests. As for me, I devoured my occasional glass of blood for perfect measure to the already wonderful night.

For dessert, the typical Christmas cookies were served as well as figgy pudding and the Bûche de Noël. Seth enjoyed the idea of “ripping the gingerbread cookies” by munching on the arms and legs like a child. Sam jerked him on the shoulder, but I didn’t mind. It was Christmas where everyone gets to be a child again.

After all, weren’t we all going to dream of dancing sugar-plums and awake early to unravel our Christmas presents the next morning? We all had the same childish spirit inside us that crept out only on Christmas morning. We all lived for the priceless grin on our faces when the wrapping paper unveiled something we’d been yearning for for a long time.

Good night for now! I’ll write about Christmas tomorrow,


Dear Diary,

It was four a.m when I awoke. But in my house this is not a concern as I am the only one that sleeps.

With the rally of Christmas the whole month, I couldn’t abstain from the gifts.

My Dad folded the newspaper he had been reading and chuckled with delight over the fact that I still acted like a little girl on Christmas morning.

“I suppose it’s present time,” my father said and smiled the crooked smile in which I mirrored, to add effect.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” I said as everyone gathered in the living room.

“All right, who wants to go first?” I asked, though it was quite obvious I wished to open my presents first.

“Go ahead, Nessie. I think you’ll like mine,” Uncle Emmett chuckled while Rose punched him.

I opened the box to see a doll. I never played with dolls as a child, so I was surprised to see one.

“It’s you . . . a customized doll that’s you, see?” Emmett defended his gift, clearly proud of what he gave me.

As I looked deeper I could see the bronze, curly hair and chocolate brown eyes on the doll.

“Thanks, Emmett! I love it—she’s beautiful.”

Rose gave me a purple hanging chair for my room. I always admired hanging chairs, so it was perfect. I’d have my own swing in my room.

Alice and Jasper both bought me a purple butterfly diamond hair clip. Alice immediately attached the clip into my curls.

“Very bonita,” Alice commented, in awe of her present. Jasper’s expression was as dull as the statue of David by Michelangelo. He reached his hand in his pocket and grabbed a charm bracelet which featured purple leaves.

Carlisle and Esme were next to give me a tiny box which held a key. Of course it was for a car, but it wasn’t just any car. It was the exclusive 2011 E550 Mercedes-Benz Cabriolet in my favorite car color, an icy blue hue.

After thanking them graciously, I was anxious to see what my Father had in mind to give me this Christmas.

“I wasn’t quite sure what to get you this year,” he said then snatched his present, neatly wrapped in its box.

“I’m sure I’ll love it no matter what it is, Daddy,” I assured him, then flashed him my crooked grin which seemed to invite him to finally hand the gift over.

The box coveted a vintage hairbrush and comb. Both were made of metal and shined as if new. The brush had a heart shape on the backside, lined with rose and pearl. It was beautiful and I could ask for nothing more.

My Mother had presented me with another vintage item; ballet slippers. Though the slippers were bruised and beaten, they were still like new.

“I was never fond of dancing, but it seems to be your muse.”

And it was true. Though I do not write of it, I do actually dance ballet. It’s my favorite sport and I’ve been doing it since I was born.

Now it was my turn to pass out my gifts; first I began with my parents. For my Mother I had a portrait of us painted with water color assents.

My Father was given the shoes I wore when I was a newborn, only with bronze metal casting so that they could be preserved. My dad, without a heartbeat, fell in love with his Christmas gift; his little girl would never disappear, never.

As for Alice, I searched every online store for a purse that would please her. I found a leather and python printed fur purse to fit her quirky personality. She was delighted to know that the bag was over five hundred.

To reprise Jasper’s Birthday gift, I bought him a pair of leather cowboy boots this time. He removed his own Gucci shoes, and fitted into the cowboy boots that not only comforted his feet, but his heart as well.

Alice didn’t even puff in annoyance that the boots didn’t match his outfit; she just let him be merry with his new gift. After all, it wasn’t like everyday Jasper smiled or seemed content at the least. So for everyone this was a blissful moment, one not to be disturbed or forgotten.

I bought Rosalie some Jimmy Choo boots and Emmett a golden ax. I had no clue what to give Emmett, but I assumed he’d make use of the ax with his burly, muscular figure.

There was no way of repaying my Grandparents for the gift they’ve given me, but I did rack up a few items. For Esme, I managed to find a collection of Giorgio Armani cosmetics that accompanied every color and style. I didn’t buy Carlisle anything special, just a Calvin Klein sweater with argyle design (not that he’d ever actually use it; just for presentation during winter in front of the humans).


Following lunch, I was able to see Jacob; he had been patrolling during the early morning hours.

After a few hugs and kisses he granted me his “poorly wrapped gift.” It wasn’t the most dainty wrapped gift, but I ripped the wrapping off anyway, so the subject was dropped.

I knew that he would give me another one of his carvings, but this was incredible. It was a small figure in front of a giant heart.

“Renesmee Cullen, I don’t only love you, but I live for you.” And he kissed me passionately to prove his statement. I knew it was true, anyway.

So what do I live for? I live for the grace of my family, friends, and my love, Jacob Black. I live for the falling snowflakes that melt in our tongues and dance in the air. My heart only beats for the carols that yonder from the spirit of Jesus’ Birthday.

What do you live for?

-Renesmee <3




Renesmee’s Dairy – Escape: Part 2

Dear Diary,

“We have to give her a chance. Besides, Edward will be monitoring her thoughts. I’ve trained each and every one of you. Now it’s your turn to help, Nicole.” Of course only my dad was chuckling to Carlsile’s cordial invitation.

Everyone seemed to glare at him puzzled for less than a millisecond, then they receded their attention back to Carlisle. Jasper was calm and collected but there was a hunch to him. I wonder if that had anything to do with my dad?

Of course off all times, I was distracted by my top issue and concern; Jake. The growing debate over Nicole’s acceptance into the family might as well have been settled right away. It was clear she would be welcomed within the hour… Alice would see to that soon.

“Where’s Jacob?” I muttered without skipping a heartbeat. I needed to see him and they all knew that.

Esme with waves of worry, inched her way to my side. My mother immediately crept to my side, too, though stumbling for a bit with the same pitiful reaction. This meant that I, too, would be imitating their expressions when I heard what they were about to reveal, or rather what cards they wouldn’t lay on the table.

“Sweetie, now is not the time to visit, Jacob,” Esme murmured, patting my back as if that would cease all despair.

Maybe there was no shrill cry projecting from my mouth, but there certainly was from my heart. I was yearning for Jacob, my love, my core. He was the reason I felt whole and complete.

With nothing but pure hope, I waged for my last chance. I immediately grasped hold of my mothers cheeks. I wanted to show her how I felt; words would serve no justice to the intensity of angst in my mind right then.

“Honey, you know I want you to see Jake. But he is in critical condition. Carlisle advised everyone to let him rest for now,” my mom replied, keeping her eyes centered on the ongoing debate.

As anxious as I was, I directed my attention to Alice. Her quirkiness was sure to distract my heart-aching mood.

“Those are lovely boots you have there,” Aunt Alice pointed out, surveying every detail of Nicole’s boots.

Nicole’s boots were high heel black suede and lined with military buttons.

“Well thank you… I don’t exactly recall where I found thes–”

“You a natural blonde?” Rosalie interrupted, obviously acting snippy. She didn’t want anything to do with this family debate.

“Yes I am, what about you?” Nicole blushed, a bit nervous but still oblivious to Rosalie’s intentions.

“Yes, I was. So what brings you here?” Rosalie stabbed, keeping her eyes firm on Nicole. Rosalie was being a bit harsh, but deep down inside I’m positive Rosalie just doesn’t wish to invite more drama into our family. If Nicole is lying about her identity and thoughts, my family and the pack would have yet another battle to conquer.

“I was following my twin sister, Kate, to see where she was heading for. When she left Canada I became concerned and decided to just continue my travels with her. Although Kate and I are…were…identical twins, we didn’t share any identical qualities. She was the sinner and I was the angel. I never was fond of the idea of living off of human blood, but when I was transformed by my sister, I had no idea animal blood was even a choice.”

“You were transformed by your own, sister? Emmet retorted before Rose hushed him. Nicole just politely chuckled.

“Yes, she did. She did it so we could both be equal and live forever together. Anyway, we continued on until she tracked down the most tempting blood from any human…” Nicole eyed me for a moment, then continued.

My blood was the most tempting of all? How? Did I happen to carry my mother’s irresistible scent and blood? How would this affect my life?

“What do we need her here for?!?” A raspy voice filtered the room. So the pack has arrived and apparently so has Leah Clearwater, my supposed best friend. Maybe I had been wishing for too much regarding a friendship with Leah. Could Leah have actually ever changed? Or was that a beyond impractical idea?

Sam shortly followed Leah with a mere blow of the fist and bitter scowl.

Carlisle was quick to bounce back to business. He dashed for his office and returned with paper and ballpoint pens in the blink of an eye (human eye, anyway). He evenly distributed the supplies amongst the family and pack, clearly passing over me. It seems my input would not apply to this conversation.

“Alright, if everyone would please write his own opinion on the allotted paper. I’ll count out the . . . ” My attention was slipping away. I was slipping away, lured in by the pang of fret and the reality that my Jacob was hurt. He needed me, I could feel it. But what astounded me the most was that I needed him.

The difficulty was not escaping, but lurking away with the guilt of disobeying my mother and grandmother. But with selfish pleas from within, I scurried on, tip-toeing up the stairs past the cry of the ballot outcome.

If my my family truly understood my desperate need to see my soul mate, they would allow me that opportunity. It wasn’t as if  I was a mischievous child, snatching a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner. The fact of the matter was that I needed to see Jacob, and if no one could see that, then they were blind.

There he was, all bundled up like a mummy, excluding his face. At first feelings of confusion and shock seeped in. Then anguish struck; my Jacob, my love was in pain.

I sprinted to his side, caressing his hair, the only seemingly stable part of him. He was asleep now, resting peacefully beside me.

Sorry but I have to tend to Jake now,


Dear Diary,

It’s a miracle! Jacob is wide awake and he recognizes me.

“I can’t believe it . . . he remembers you and only you. At this stage of the healing process he shouldn’t be able to remember anything,” Carlisle rendered, filing through his medical records.“Well, this is a first,” he added, then recorded Jake’s statistics and glanced at me with an apprehensive grin.

“I believe it has something to do with the imprinting process. Perhaps it’s some sort of survival characteristic — he can never forgot who you are, Renesmee. This truly is remarkable. That has to be the only explanation or possible theory,” Carlisle noted, pleased with his insertion. My parents and Esme seemed to concur as they didn’t respond. They just stood there, wide-eyed.

“Nessie,” Jacob begged, as he tried to extend his casted arm out to me. There wasn’t a moment of hesitance; I was there right by his side, delicately brushing his free fingers.

“I love, you,” he whispered. Sure, there were four other beings in the room, but that didn’t matter at all. Tears sprang from my eyes as he shut his eyes for some rest.

With a sniffle and an “I love you,” I settled for rest, too. The hour was nine and the storming day had my energy drained.

Time to recharge,

-Nessie <3




Renesmee’s Diary: Escape (Part 1)

Dear Diary,

“Pssst, Nessie wake up!” Emily rushed to my side, involuntarily intruding my sleep. I knew this would be news my ears wouldn’t wish to hear.

“C’mon the pack is here,” she whispered loudly. It only took me a few moments to remember that today was Halloween.

Halloween was typically a very enjoyable holiday in my family. We loved the idea of seeing humans dressed as “mythical creatures.” But today, I wasn’t positive that our usual Halloween cheer would exist. Worst of all, Alice is probably “sobbing” because of her interrupted plans to decorate the entire property. She literally spent an average couple’s income on decor and exotic candy from all around the world.

“Finding the candy is not the problem,” Alice had mentioned while constructing a state-of-the-art security system on her closet. “The problem is keeping that mutt away from all the candy.” Alice obviously ignored my disappointed sigh and began discussing Halloween costumes with me.

“How about Little Red Riding Hood? Ooooh or Rapunzel?” Alice piped, bubbling with excessive enthusiasm.

“Alice, I’m picking my own costume whether you like it or not!” I gritted my teeth. I was going to let Alice at least do my hair and makeup, but her ‘mutt’ contribution indefinitely altered my considerations to her pleas.

Right now, though, Jacob’s safety was my top concern. When an eerie silence washed over the entire room and Jake’s absence was obvious, I just knew. I knew this was something I wanted to escape from and never return to. But this wasn’t some overrated teen girl novel, this was my life.

“Where’s Jacob?” I eyed Sam who bowed his head, almost as a symbol of respect.

Sam arose from his seat and trembled making his way to me. In fact, none of the pack had returned unscathed.

“He…he’s with Carlisle.” And with those last words, I immediately dashed for my house. I didn’t even bother to dress myself or slip into shoes in the crisp autumn cold because none of that mattered.

That’s when I saw her. She lay hidden beneath the bush, watching the withering of my determination and hopeful spirit. But the odd thing was was that she looked nothing like an evil empress of Lucifer, like in my visions. There was no devilicious smirk. There was no feeling of danger.

Maybe I should introduce myself? There would only be a matter of a few milliseconds before the pack came barging in and protecting me.

Then it occurred to me that maybe this vampire was playing tricks on me. She may have seemed friendly from this point, but how could I deny all the visions I’ve been having lately? And, how did she manage to escape my family’s attack? How could she harm and defy my mother’s shield?

The creature I recognized from my blurry visions now stumbled her step and plummented into the rocky earth. Now I was seeing things; first visions, then an incredibly beautiful immortal fall. Ha! The only immortal that remains clumsy is my own mother and even she hasn’t had a downfall in over a month. Was my mind playing tricks on me?

“Wait, please just a second,” she hissed then picked herself up in lightening speed that my feeble eyes couldn’t make out. I couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she was. Her stature was of a Greek Goddess and her skin was as flawless as her blonde curls.

So she finally smiled. But it wasn’t a trick, or anything evil. It was a genuine, friendly smile. My instincts weren’t ordering me to run which meant that this wasn’t a dangerous idea.

“Salutations! Please forgive me, I’m such a clutz sometimes.” She pleated her jeans while I was frozen like a statue gaping at her apology.

“The name is Nicole. My sister was passing through here. I believe she was looking for you…you are a vampire, are you not?” Nicole questioned, peering over my shoulder awkwardly searching for something.

“Yes, and we’ve found her,” a loud voice boomed. It was my dad who ascended to my side. So, maybe Nicole wasn’t the nomad, but her sister.

“I assume you destroyed her…” Nicole inserted, dumbly playing with the buttons on her coat.

“Yes, it was highly necessary. I am very sorry, but she had cruel intentions. My family and I tried our very best to negotiate with her, however she would not cooperate or come to an agreement.” Nicole just shook her head in acceptance of my fathers words, rather than anguish.

“I’ve heard of vampires like you. You feed on the blood of an animal rather than human blood. How do you do it? All the deer in the world don’t satisfy my craving for that rich taste.” Her eyes were filled with crimson color, yet they also contained sincerity, serenity, honesty, and friendliness. My dad was a bit more relaxed when he first arrived – meaning Nicole’s thoughts were probably pure and hopefully her soul, too.

“Yes, it is quite difficult and it always will be. It gets easier as you adjust to the mild taste. My entire family consists of  vegetarians, making the lifestyle more tolerable. Are you passing through like your sister?” My father asked calmly. Nicole was not yet aware of my father’s mind reading ability. It was a strategy he kept for all potential threats so that nothing would remain a secret from him.

“Well I was. But it seems that your family lives a lifestyle I would like to pursue myself. Are you willing to teach me?”

“Of course, I’d love to have you as an addition to my family. However, this is something I’d need to discuss with the head of the house, my father, Carlisle Cullen.”

That’s when I found myself in an open debate over whether Nicole should join the family. As much as I wish I could participate, I found this meeting to be of a distraction to where my heart and soul needed to be.

My mind had drifted back to Jacob. Where was he? Was he okay? What did Nicole’s sister do to him? Can Nicole be trusted? Or is she like her sister? Why is she so familiar, yet so peculiar?

I’ll write more later,

-Nessie <3




Renesmee’s Diary – Shadows

Dear Diary,

I didn’t understand how I could be lost in such a beautiful scene. How a voice so beautiful and as captivating could do quite the reverse of it’s purpose; haunt. It was almost as if I were dreaming, but I wasn’t. The visions in my head of the pale, blond-headed creature were so realistic, yet so distant. I could only picture her with a blurry watercolor aura.

She was moving swift, thrashing through every thick branch and leaf, itching for satisfaction. One whiff of my scent and she was pursuing me like no other mortal I’ve ever seen or heard of. She stalked me everywhere; like a shadow, she never let up. One moment she was there, then she disappeared in a flash.

I was curious of her and wished to see her in my visions, hoping I could decipher her whereabouts and her intentions. Was her motive to kill me? I understood she had something to do with me because her voice was mine.

Then a gruesome thought blossomed….could this girl possibly be me? Could the pursuer with the blonde curls and evil twinkle in her eye actually be me, Renesmee Cullen?

No, of course not I scolded myself, shaking off the unpleasant thought.

I managed to creep down the stairs into the Cullen kitchen hustling with activity. Instead of nibbling on my typical cornflakes, I devoured an entire glass of blood.

“Yeah, I was just going to have the same thing,” Jake said with sarcasm as he strolled in, obviously ready to munch on whatever breakfast delight appeased him.

But I wasn’t giggling like I should have, like I normally would have. There was nothing more awkward than having your werewolf boyfriend actually witness you drink human blood. And to add even more frustration, all these visions and a sense of unexplained fear had me thinking uncanny thoughts.

No, I couldn’t see the future. But I was certain I was having these visions for a reason. Perhaps they were to protect me? Maybe there is a buried message beneath each image of the blondie.

“You’re not laughing. Is everything ok, babe?” Jacob was now crunching on bacon, attempting to be serious admits the utmost distractions of breakfast treats.

“No, it’s not. Everyone is keeping a secret from me, and I intend to figure it out,” I spat out, throwing away all the exasperating thoughts in my mind. I knew I shouldn’t, but this sense of being in danger was biting at me.

There was only one person I could rely on to reveal the truth; Jacob. Why? Because of imprinting abilities, Jacob cannot turn down any request. Now before I’m called to Satan’s throne, I have reason to do this. If I am in possible danger, or someone is in turmoil, it is just that – as a member of the family – I should hear of it (especially if it involves me). If an immortal is plotting to kill me, I prefer to have it known, rather than unknown.

Jake just raised his brow, taken aback.

“Nessie, I assure you there’s nothi–”

“Tell me Jacob, now. I need to know what it is this family is buzzing about,” I ordered, not sparing him any sympathy, engulfing in my own selfishness.

“Alright, alright. On the night of the pack’s day off, your father and uncles picked up an unrecognizable scent. It’s just the occasional nomad passing through and your father just wanted to keep precautions with you.” He glared into my eyes,  uncontrollably spilling every detail.

I nodded, feeling the wave of guilt flood through my body.

“Thank you,” I returned with a genuine kiss. He deserved far more than a simple peck of the lips, but I needed to investigate my situation further. I skipped my way over to the massive living room – that now served as home to the 100-inch flat-screen T.V.

Could this nomad be the unforgiving creature in my visions? Was this “nomad” even a nomad “passing through?” Or was their more on her agenda then a few human bites? Was this all a coincidence? And most importantly, if my assumptions are correct – based on my visions – why is this hunter fishing for me? Particularly me?

These are questions that would never be answered because……

“Why did you tell her, mongrel? Now she’ll be worrying like there’s no tomorrow!” I’d never heard my Uncle Emmett so furious. But of all people, I’d rather have it be him angry than my own father. Is it too late to defend Jake’s relentless position?

“Emmett, please stop. I’m trying to accumulate a plan,” my dad hissed. He was endlessly rubbing his temples as if searching for peace. Should I offer the truth? I certainly didn’t want Jacob to suffer for something that wasn’t his own fault; something that was my fault.

“Leave him be. It’s not his fault, Emmett,” Esme chimed, placing an encouraging pat on Jake’s shoulder.

To my dismay, my father already began to unearth his plan. Jasper did the best of his abilities to wave peace amongst everyone.

“…….We’ll have to be aggressive. Alice senses from her visions that this nomad is not in a pure state of mind,” my father continued, addressing the entire family. My mom rushed to his side incapacitated with worry while Rosalie kept a firm stare on Jacob.

It was quite awkward though, however, that Carlisle presented no sign of resentment towards my father’s brutal strategies against this nomad. If a compassionate character such as Carlisle was agreeing to the plan, there was definitely something off about this nomad. Of course, the Cullens always take care of passing nomads cautiously, but this was obviously out of proportion.

Though I was in another room, they were all discussing the details at a volume high enough for my ears. I was left with nothing but curiosity. Why would my family let me hear the plans? Sure,  I know there is a nomad on the loose; but with Carlisle agreeing to such viscous ideals…. I just couldn’t tolerate how unusual this seemed. Carlisle must have had a reason to concur to my father’s proposals. This reason, I fear, deeply involves me.

Jake would have to rally the entire pack which added more exasperation to my concerns on this nomad matter. It was a simple formula: The Cullens + The Pack=Major Battle Trouble.


Dear Diary,

When Jacob sent me to Emily’s kitchen, I didn’t assume – I knew – exactly of the events that were about to occur. A struggle. A battle to cease the predator from hunting its victim, me. Jake didn’t mention much but to prepare overnight belongings for a “sleepover.” Alice had already jumped onto to that, despite my pleas to stay home. Having packed for me, Alice  included a Chanel skin care set, Victoria Secret sleepwear (I’d have to scold her later), and other “sleepover” necessities.

Jacob’s surface was calm with reassurance of how much fun staying at Emily’s would be for the night – and I played along with him. I did it, not for anyone, but Jake’s sake. He was the most sensitive to my safety—in equivalence to my father, but more prudent towards me. So I faked a dainty grin and attempted to bear what ever fate was to come.

“I won’t let you suffer on that couch,” Emily implied, sanitizing Embry’s bedroom for my use. It was true, the pack’s couch was one not worth sleeping on, let alone sitting on. It was a scraggly haven that had been beaten up by the forceful pressures of the wolves that abused it.

“Thank you, Emily… for being so generous and thoughtful.”

“We’re all in the same boat, aren’t we?” She replied, and I questioned her words immensely. Was she relating to the fact that we were forever “wolf girls?” Or did this have to do with the fact that everyone has a downfall? That, my misfortune affected everyone? I didn’t want to make false presumptions so I abandoned the absurd thoughts.

Emily and I occupied the time by painting each others nails and applying the Chanel face mask and scrub. Emily certainly got a kick out of her cherry red toes as she had “never had taste for it before I convinced her.” I wasn’t the least bit astonished, I seemed to have a way with luring people to do the unimaginable. It was also a bit overwhelming for the both of us because neither of us had adhered to the concept of “sleepovers” before.

But the beauty results of the moisturizers – that Alice packed – really cleared our pores and doubtful perspective on sleepovers. We did enjoy ourselves, so much in fact that it distracted me enough to not constantly think of the horror that must be happening with my family and the pack.

Before hopping into bed, Em’ and I decided to look through her photo album.

At first, photos of Em’ as a young child on the Makah Reservation were displayed.

“Very adorable, Emily. Who’s that?” I pointed to a distant figure wading in shallow water. Emily chuckled lightly, as if remembering an inside joke.

“That’s my father, Matthew Senior. He was very enchanting and captured even the most bitter audience. He was known in the tribe as the ‘storyteller,” she explained, smiling back at the priceless memories.

“My father is dead. So, he won’t be able to walk me down the aisle or tell those magical stories of his.” The room collapsed in a sorrowful silence.

But we kept going; the pages were turned and unfolded to display high school memories of prom and graduation. Everything a human should experience in his life lied there in those pages. Because of my growth, I would never be able to experience these adventures and challenges in life until my growth came to a complete halt.

“And this is where I am today,” Em’ stated, shutting the album.

“No, not quite yet,” I said and Emily formed a puzzled expression, trying to decode my message.

I swiftly grasped my cellphone and snapped a picture of the two of us. After all, we did have a marvelous “girl’s night,” didn’t we? I guess Em’ and I are officially “close friends” now. It seemed a bit odd having a friend that was the same sex. Jake was all I had ever had, but it appears a girlfriend is necessary, too.

It’s so simple to talk, gossip and even cook with Em’. She makes chores a breeze by educating me on the history of the Makah Tribe (it is just highly intriguing). Maybe this new friendship and well-seamed bond also added more reason as to why it was us of all the other single females on this planet who were selected as imprints. Was this destiny? Or just a pure coincidence? Believe what you wish to believe, but I support the destiny theory. Sure, it might make less sense, but isn’t that what my entire world is about? The whole “mythical creature world?” Does any of it actually make sense?

It was then after more chatter of Emily and Sam’s wedding plans that my eyelids had a massive weight gain. After a final farewell for the night, I raced for my bed. If I hadn’t been so exhausted from all the girly activities, I might have began fretting over the possible events in action from this struggle with the nomad.

On top of all the headaches the worrying was causing, Embry’s mattress was not cozy. Yes, my bed at home is made of some expensive materials specifically designed to enhance lushness, but that doesn’t mean I have no knowledge of a decent sleeping ground. Like the couch, the mattress suffered grave damage and the springs wouldn’t let up, either.

With one-hundred percent desperation, I gingerly tip-toed through the corridor to Jacob’s room. One might smell repulsing body odor and an untidy room, but I didn’t. To me, I smelled Jacob, my love. Putting into consideration the circumstances and strain curiosity has placed upon me, I grabbed a wrinkled T-shirt. I climbed onto his ginormous bed (which I’d been told was more than triple the size of his previous bed back in La Push), and held the shirt for comfort.

Entering someone’s room without permission was indeed impolite, especially when you clutch their clothing dearly to your heart. In my defense, I’m positive Jake wouldn’t have minded the least bit. It wasn’t like I was inspecting his room or anything. Just breathing through these elements led me to serenity and sweet dreams.

Time for shut eye,

-Nessie <3




Renesmee’s Diary – Forever and Always

Dear Diary,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written in you, sorry. My schedule was crammed with packing and unpacking. Yes, it’s true, we’ve left Melody Key. We arrived back at the Cullen mansion literally five minutes before my mom’s birthday, or so I was told (I was asleep). I insisted that someone awake me to be there in the moment, but of course my father ignored that simple request. Hmmmmph, like sleep is more important than my own mother’s birthday, please.

“Ness, we’re not celebrating her birthday until the afternoon. You’ll sleep until noon,” I denied that completely when my father spoke of it. But we both knew he was right before it happened, anyway. It was just me who slept through my mom’s birthday, but the entire pack and imprints, drained of their energy from the traveling and packing, too.

Mom was all I could think about. I worried because I know I shouldn’t have taken part in her “surprise birthday party.” It was her birthday and an acceptable present from me was just my attendance. But there wouldn’t be a party without presents and other goodies.

Alice insisted we keep the “Bella birthday tradition” since she declined it so much. Don’t get me wrong, these birthday parties aren’t to torture my mom, but to keep her “alive” Grandma Renee and Grandpa Charlie still live so we feel that we should keep her “human-ness” alive as long as my grandparents still live. (We also just enjoy my mom’s polite rejections: ‘Alice you shouldn’t have….’ ‘You really didn’t have to do this…’

Since I switched to the guitar from the piano, I can now write songs for my mother. Trust me, my mom’s wishes of priceless gifts are more difficult to come up with than prepare. And I’m not just referring to writing a song, but coming up with a priceless idea. Alice is the only one who disregards my mother’s wishes, but she is excused because of her personality. Everyone else just fishes for cheap, yet admirable items.

In my song I wanted to feature the highlights of my life with her (excluding my birth, hehe). I had to express my love and utmost appreciation for the woman who sacrificed her life for mine.

So as exasperated and as weary as I was….I strummed away on my guitar, exploring every lyric option to which ever tune struck my mind. There are no words to describe song writing, really. Or at least the way I write songs. My mind wanders of into adrift, an unexplainable sea of words that float. And which ever words fare better than the other in a particular order, they are written.

Divine images of me hugging my mother’s legs sprang into my thoughts…and then bursts of pleasant memorabilia. I infused all of this into my momma’s birthday piece, stretching it out to perfection. I had expressed everything I wanted to say, to let her know in this song. A simple “I love you” was not enough, at least not for me, especially since my momma deserved far more.

“Once a lovin’ is not enough for the heart

Especially when we descend in life on this part

Momma, I love you

forever and always

Just wanted you to hear that from me

Your daughter, Nessie

You’d hold me tight while Daddy was gone

You’d hold me with love ’till dawn

You thought I was the precious gift.”


Today Bella turned turned twenty-seven. She looked and acted the same. Even her dull, casual aura remained the same as it always was. But the fact was, nothing was the same. Alice was slyly preparing for the party, creeping in and out of rooms instead of her usual dance. My father had pushed my mother towards hunting so Alice could arrange the final touches to the “surprise birthday party.”

Alice decided to not go ”low-key” to spare my mother some unwanted attention.

“If the decor is dazzling, the attention will lay on my display, not Bella.” For once one of Alice’s…er ideas made sense and was very generous, for well Alice, anyway.

Rosalie assisted Alice every step of the way, catering to her every need (Although Alice did practically everything). Rosalie didn’t have the best relationship with my mother, but they were sister-in-laws. Aunt Rosalie had no problem helping out with special events, even for Bella’s Birthday.

My Aunt Rosalie was a misunderstood character, that’s all. People might see her as cold or harsh, but she’s not really. And if I went through Aunt Rose’s grim life experiences, I’d be just the same. Not to mention that Bella exchanged her mortality with choice, something my aunt deeply wishes she had. For Rose’s strong armor to put up with all that, I envy her.

“It’s time, it’s time! Everyone file around the fountain!” Alice ordered, pleating her lavender BCBG dress. The fountain wasn’t your average water fountain, but a chocolate fountain, trickling luscious milk chocolate galore for the humans. A three tier cake laid as the center piece in the middle of the dining room.

As much as I believe Jacob was anticipating my mother’s entrance, I couldn’t help but giggle at him gaping at the edibles, and then at me. Alice had allowed me to dress myself since it was my mom’s birthday and she knows my momma wouldn’t want it any other way. So I flaunted a floral sundress and put my cowgirl boots to use.

“Happy Birthday!” Everyone cheered. One would conclude that my mom was in a horror film rather then the enchanting scene with that aghast expression.

My father was the first to reach her, ushering her towards the crowd. He was whispering things in her ear, probably trying to comfort her from the shock and attention.

“Happy Birthday, mom!” I reached her next, giving a warm hug.

“I see you’re wearing my present,” she commented, eying the pearl beauty wrapped around my neck.

“Happy Birthday, Bells.” Jacob cut in, exchanging a bear hug with my mom (who could now handle them). “Time for presents! Everyone grab your presents.” Alice sang, snatching her own item. It seems Alice would be running the show.

The pack and imprints, excluding me and Jacob, made a homemade dreamcatcher necklace and a snowglobe that featured a howling wolf. My mother graciously accepted the gifts, shaking the snowglobe once for good measure.

Alice offered her’s next. My mother gingerly took the cherry red box laced with white ribbon. As much I craned my neck over the white tissue paper I couldn’t make out the gift. “Thanks, Alice, you really shouldn’t have….” My mom revealed a golden friendship bracelet loaded with charms. “I have mine, see!” Alice waved her wrist in the air. It was a corny, yet thoughtful gift. Alice truly was Bella’s best friend and the bracelet permanently depicted that. “Well wear it, silly!” Alice inisted, giggling to my mom’s unending modesty.

Jacob as usual racked up a carving he had made himself. Although, this one is unique. The carving was a represenation of my mother’s beloved 1958 Ford pick-up truck.”Thank you Jake, I guess I haven’t lost my truck after all,” she chuckled, this time giving him the bear hug.

Rosalie and Emmett somehow managed to get their hands on Jane Austen’s original “Sense and Sensibility” novel. Note to self: Ask mom if you could borrow that, hehe. Carlisle and Esme purchased a vintage armchair for my mother to “read in.” For a senior citizen piece of furniture it was in stable condition. Maybe I could test it out first?

Jasper contributed an authentic Teddy Bear from the early 1900′s. I guess the Teddy would perfectly accompany my mom’s oak bookshelves. My father had two parts to his gift. Part two I shall not say or that may result in major gagging or vomiting, hehe. Part one however, consisted of a weekend getaway to Forks to “bring back memories.” The getaway brought “part two.”

My birthday present was left for last on purpose. Alice had already grasped my guitar before my mother had thanked Jasper. I made sure to relax all the tension in my muscles before taking center stage.”I’ll be singing a song I wrote in honor of my mom.” And with those final worlds I began plucking through strings of the wooden instrument with pure pride.

A deep breath, and I sung the lyrics I had written. This was it, the moment of truth. Only the sound of the encouraging plaudits kept me going and I even finished with a crooked smile to my mom’s delight. I was already tearing up like an infant, wrecking my makeup…..I’d have to go have a visit to Alice later as she wouldn’t let this fashion faux paw go unhinged. Once again I embraced my mother with a heartfelt hug to calm the tears. “I love you, momma. Forever and always.”

Time to party (or wash my face),





Renesmee’s Diary – Irreplaceable

Dear Diary,

This morning was my birthday. I was more than ecstatic to celebrate the occasion at none other than Melody Key itself with the people I love.

It began with a simple, yet precious grin that almost too quickly bartered for a disheartened sigh. So I received the first birthday present from…Mother Nature.

“She’s awake now,” I heard my father’s echo from the corridor.

It was my parents who were to confront me of my…situation. “Nessie, can we come in?”

“Sure,” I squeaked, still shocked at the blood spattered before me, invading the cleanliness of the white crème sheets.

“Nessie, first of all, Happy Birthday, honey. Second, we’re going to have to discuss that…” My father kissed my forehead but swiftly jumped back away from the horror scene in front of him.

“We’ll just have to get you cleaned up, that’s all,” my mom offered, trying not to make things too awkward considering that there was a pool of blood seeping out from in between my legs. My mom remembers the most from being human – with female issues like a menstrual cycle – especially her first one, right?

“Hmmmph I guess Uncle Jasper won’t be able to see me for a couple of days. I’ve finally written a song….a marvelous one and Jazz won’t be around to hear it.” Alright, I know I’m mature, but I felt I had a right to pout. I was restricted from seeing my own uncle when I had written a song…something I’d been waiting to present to him for a long time. It was my birthday for Pete’s sake, and Mother Nature had to spoil my day.

The only Cullen that could abstain from killing me was of course Carlisle, but I needed a female for this “incident.” So, my mom was the brightest choice. As sharp as possible she helped me clean up and provided me with a stash of “feminine products.” Her face however, wasn’t so sharp. She was hiding something from me, and it wasn’t a birthday surprise….it was a frustrated and depressed expression. What did this mean? Should I be concerned?

“Alright go on into the kitchen for breakfast,” my mom concluded the drama that infested – what was supposed to be my day, my special day.  But in a way it was also my mom’s day, too. After all, she did give birth to me and she had to suffer a lot of pain. I know exactly what happened, too. I bit my way out of her. I wish I could blame myself, and I have at times, like my father does sometimes. I took the blame because it actually was my fault, although my parents don’t agree. Nor does anyone else for that matter. My mom just reminds me that what I did only led to her being what she’s always dreamed of being…immortal. It’s something she’d wanted for Edward, my father.

I knew how she felt. Wanting something for someone else, to be with someone else. Although she did want immortality for herself of course, but the point is I know what her intentions were in changing herself. It was for her and my dad’s irreplaceable love. So they would never have to be apart.

Sometimes I pushed myself hard to be the woman that would cater to every single of Jake’s needs. I cooked and cleaned for him. In fact, I even buy him new shirts every week because I know he’ll need them. When you love and care for someone deeply, you want to serve them. You want to make them happy.

“Happy Thirteenth Birthday, Nessie!” Everyone hollered as I entered the lofty kitchen filled with smiles. Unfortunately, Uncle Jasper couldn’t make the event as I expected.

The counter was piled with platters of junk food galore varying from Doritos to gummy worms. But my favorite treat of all time was laying in the center… ice cream. It wasn’t a container of ice cream, it was soft serve ice cream machine that was pink. How did Alice manage to eye a pink soft serve machine that provided three different flavors? Lined in front of the machine were crystal glass bowls of popular ice cream toppings that included: pink sprinkles… and pink sprinkles only. I’m pretty sure Jacob wouldn’t appreciate that, and neither would any other male.

“Happy Birthday, babe,” Jacob greeted, joining me for a intimate bear hug and a slight peck on the lips.

“Happy Birthday, Nessie.” Emily cut in with a warm hug. I actually have been trying to spend more time with the pack and the humans to avoid the problems my hickey causes. Over the past week it is merely the size of a bitty paper cut as it was never huge to begin with. I don’t even need foundation to cover it up anymore.

“Yes, I hope you have a wonderful birthday.” Kim and I too shared a hug. I wish I could get “Birthday Hugs” everyday. I wouldn’t mind.

“Nice socks,” Leah commented glaring at my striped knee high socks.

“Um, thanks.” I was searching for a compliment to say back to Leah, but she was wearing her usual tomboy gear with her hair cut short with the texture of straw.

“Helllooooo you think that’s the only present you get? Ha! The food doesn’t even count as a present! Open these,” the familiar high pitched fairy sang.

“Thanks, Alice….I love boxes with nothing in them,” I said taking note that Alice left me empty-handed, which didn’t sound like her.

“You’re already wearing it, silly,” Alice chimed, pointing to the assortment of bracelets wrapped around my wrist. Alice must have snuck them on while I was distracted.

There were three leather bracelets each embroidered with delicate rhinestones.

“Thank you, Alice!” I hugged her, embracing her sweet scent.

“That’s Auntie to you,” she corrected, dancing off somewhere.

And all of my presents were fantastic, I honestly couldn’t have asked for more. Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle granted me what is known to be “the most expensive guitar picks in the world.” They were custom designed and made of meteorite, yes meteorite. I will surely put them to use soon.

Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose presented me with a new Mac computer and some ridiculously expensive digital camera. I did like, however, how both gifts were in pink – my favorite color.

Next, my dad just had to buy me a car. A Volvo convertible in an icy blue shade that I adored. One might think this is my father’s gesture to encourage me to begin driving, but believe me it’s not. The last thing my father wants me to do is drive, although now that I think about it……..

My mom’s gift was something more cherishable. It was a vintage pearl necklace that she used of her own money to purchase for me. I have to say that I’m quite proud of my mom. She spent money on my gift, and she doesn’t agree with spending money on presents. This was by far the number one birthday of all birthdays I’ve had because my mom bought me a gift we both couldn’t argue with. It was vintage and flawless, a true beauty. Putting Rosalie and Jacob in mind though, having my mom here was enough of a birthday present.

Emily and Jacob were the only ones to remember to buy me a gift. I wasn’t furious at the pack or Kim for no presents, of course, because just having them here with me was enough.

Emily brought homemade earrings she’s prepared with some of Kim’s help. The earrings each carried a turquoise rock, making them beyond gorgeous. If you ask me though, I’d just let Emily keep them because they would look stunning on her.

Jacob displayed his fine craftsmanship with his carving. I was already expecting one of his beautiful carvings, but this one blew my mind. The carving illustrated a werewolf, Jacob, lying amongst the ground with me leaning my back onto him. We were gazing at the glorious moon. The moon was made of a silver ball that reflected off the carved figures. I loved it so much tears cascaded from my eyes as I mouthed “Thanks, I love you” to him. It had felt, and maybe appeared, like such a private moment despite the crowd’s direct attention upon us.

“Wait wait, you forgot Jazz’s present!” Alice darted for me, dropping another box.  As odd as it may sound I was “gift pooped out,” and ready to celebrate my birthday. But if this was all I could get of Jasper and honor him, I’d just have to open the box.

I didn’t pay much to the wrapping and tore it off bitter with curiosity.

It only took one chuckle to show how much I treasured this one. They were brown cowgirl boots laced with pink. It seems just yesterday I stuffed my petite feet into the cowboy boots that Uncle Jazz buries somewhere in his closet. I enjoyed flaunting them around acting like a cowgirl, or something, which always placed a sly grin on Jasper’s face. It was rare that you saw Uncle Jasper smile or laugh, so when I put on my “cowgirl act,” Alice made sure Jazz was there to see it.

Now I had my own cowgirl boots to put on a show. But no Jasper……But I could put on an actual show with my guitar and new picks. Even Alice’s bracelets fit the southern belle theme, so I didn’t remove them. Just to ensure that the boots fit well, I jogged around the house (probably working off the energy the candy gave).

When I was ready to go, I performed one of my own songs. I was surely disappointed by Uncle Jasper’s absence, but did not let that interfere with my performance. I sang as I’ve always done. “Gracefully,” as Jake describes.

When the herd of party goers hooted, clapped, and cheered I knew my musical dreams might come true. There was no replacing this birthday, not for the world.

Sorry but I have to go celebrate some more,



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