Dear Diary (The Voice of Reason)

Date: March 22, 1951

It’s been two days since my last entry, as usual, a lot has happened. Right after I finished my entry Emmet returned and told me to throw out all my bags as they would only slow us down. I did as he asked but hid you under my dress.

We walked casually out of the town, I was painfully aware of the awful silence between us. I stopped and looked up at the stars feeling like my heart was breaking. I felt as if I were losing all those that I loved a second time and the pain seemed too much. I envied the humans who could cry, sleep, fall apart and die.

I was unaware that Emmet was watching me intensly until he suddenly swung me up onto his back and started to run. I hung on as tightly as I could and for the longest time neither of us spoke. I was mesmerized by the stars and unable to speak.

I begun to wonder if Emmett would ever speak to me again when thankfully, he stopped and half whispered with concern “Are you still suffering because of Royce’s past actions?”

I was quiet for a long minute and finally replied “yes.” Emmet murmered to me and it sounded like he was sad, understanding my pain and suffering. But I knew he couldn’t fully understand because he loved being a vampire. Loved all that immortality gave to him.

He told me I could vent my feelings and frustrations on him. So I told him everything the lady at my old house had told me. About meeting Henry. Patiently, Emmet listened until I had finished.

He smiled at me and said he had actually brought me here to New York in order for me to find closure. To direct me to the door so that I could close it myself and never look back. He said he didn’t think I’d break the rules that I, myself, had made. He thought I was stubborn enough to be strong enough. I smiled to myself, thinking, I was going to say I’m only human but then realized my mistake and told him I had a theory on that.

I told him that maybe I felt that I’d never recover from what Royce and his friends did to me. That when you are human you need time to heal from emotional pain and that they need a change like something new and exciting to do. “I am a vampire, and it’s true I do have time on my side, but there would be no new journey for me to take, nothing new and exciting to do,” I said. Emmet snorted, growled at me and said “huh, you’re full of it.” I stared at him hurt and puzzled.

He looked at me and said “what do you think we are doing now, isn’t it new and exciting? We’re starting out as husband and wife and starting our new life together.”

I smiled as I realized that Emmet was right. I felt happy to think that in time I would recover and heal from this. That Emmet would be my saviour and my guide.

It’s true – I will never stop wishing I was still human, I will want that for eternity, but I will move on and in time Royce will stop haunting me. He will be disgarded to my old memories and I will create new and better memories with my new husband Emmet.

I smiled and told Emmet he was right and leaned in to kiss him on the neck. He cheered up immediately, turned his head to show me his cheeky grin and he lowered me to the ground and tackled me. We made love in the field under the stars. There aren’t enough words to describe the pleasure and joy I felt as we laid in the field and watched the sunrise together, observing its beauty without speaking.

I smiled and welcomed the new day. Today was a significant day for me. Today was the day I put Royce behind me once and for all. I will never again dwell on the pain and suffering he caused me.

Our skin began to sparkle in the sunlight so we got up, dressed and ran to the cover of the woods and I spent the day in Emmet’s arms and we enjoyed the silence.

I need to go now, Emmet has decided that we should go home and cut our honeymoon short. I can’t really blame him, I ruined our honeymoon. I need to think of a way to make it up to him.

Rosalie Cullen

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Rosalie’s Diary is written by Martin Gubecka.

Edited by Marie Fleming



Dearest Diary (Beautiful Disaster: Eternal Beauty at much too high of a price)

Date: April 25th 1933

My life as I know it is over, and I am not being dramatic. In one evening the love of my life became my killer. My life was stolen & everything I dreamed of had been taken away from me.

After my visit to Vera, I left it and was dark in the streets, the lamps already on. I did not realize how late I was. I was so cold, too. It was so very cold considering it was April. I had decided to continue with the wedding and marry Royce. But now, I will never marry him. He condemned me to an eternal life of suffering.

I will make sure to exact my revenge on him, and his little friends too. I bet you are wondering what madness I am speaking of, what could make me loathe the man I claimed to have loved so very much.

As I said,it was cold for late April and already late. I was only a few streets from home when I heard loud laughing. I realized they were drunk as soon as I heard them. I immediately wished I called my father to escort me home, but the way home was so short. I thought it would be foolish. I jumped up in shock as I heard my name being called. Immediately after I heard it I felt fear and familiarity from the voice.

I realized that it was Royce and his friends. I had never seen Royce drunk before, he was a casual drinker yes, but to be this intoxicated… he was not the same man I loved. Royce began to prattle on incoherently, saying that I was late & he was cold and that I kept him and his company waiting for too long. I had made no arrangements to meet Royce or his company that evening.

He and his friends approached me, circled me. I felt so afraid. I remember,at the time, feeling like a fool for being afraid of my own fiance. Little did I know, that was my Human survival instincts telling me to run, to run home as fast as I could and lock the door..

Royce began to complement my beauty to one of Royce’s friends. A friend I had never met before, a man named John. This man had dark hair and he was tanned. The way he looked at me it frightened me. He examined me as if I was a horse he had interest in purchasing.

Royce grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me closer as if I was his property. The man made a comment about how difficult it was to see my beauty as I was clothed. I was shocked to see Royce laughing along with his friends. I was frightened when Royce ripped my jacket from my shoulder, it was a gift from him. He ordered me to show his friends what I looked like, and laughed about it as if this was a humorous situation.

He tore my hat out of my hair. The pins wrenched my hair from the roots as I cried out in pain. The men only seemed to like that more. As Royce’s friends held my arms, Royce, himself, tore off my dress.

I remember each and every one of their vulgar comments. Royce tossed me around like a child’s doll and when I screamed for help he slapped me and told me that I should know my place. I whimpered in pain as he forced himself on me. I begged for him to stop, I was in pain, what he did… it hurt so much as he tore into my flesh. I pleaded, but he didn’t  stop. He  continued as his friends watched, encouraging him.

After Royce did the unthinkable, forced himself on me, I thought it was all over. I was wrong. Royce insisted his friends “have their turn in making me a woman.” Those were the words he used.

I was in pain and shock, I tried to fight them off, but they held me down. They slapped me around and hurt me. The man known as John Slammed my head into the ground causing it to bleed. John finally finished with me, they all had their turn, then they left me on the streets.

I could hear them joke about having to find a new bride and Royce’s words: “I need to learn some patience first.” It was then for the first time I realized something. Royce had never loved me. I was nothing but a possession to him, something to own.

I waited in the road to die, it was cold and I was in a great deal of pain. It started to snow. I could feel the snowflakes drop on me as I looked into the starless sky. I wondered why wasn’t I dying…what would take death so long for him to come and claim me. What could be taking death so long.

Doctor Carlisle Cullen found me. I felt a little irritated as he worked, trying to save my life. I did not want to be saved, though, I wanted death to come and claim me. I wanted sweet oblivion to take me away from this existence. I did not want to feel anything at all.

I closed my eyes hoping that if I pretended to be dead, he would leave me alone to die in peace. After a few moments I thought I had finally died. I felt like I was floating, like I was flying. I, however, realized that I was still in pain and when I opened my eyes, I was in a bright room. It was so very warm. I was annoyed to still be alive, but my annoyance turned into gratitude because I was finally slipping away as the pain began too dull.

I eventually noticed something sharp was cutting my throat, my wrist & ankles. I screamed in shock thinking that Doctor Cullen brought me to this bright room to hurt me more, then the fire started to burn. I begged him to kill me, but he refused. Dr. Cullen had this smile on his face, and I begged him, and begged him. He sat there in silence as his wife and brother in-law returned.

When they came to investigate the screams I unleashed I begged them both to kill me too, but they did not. Carlisle sat with me the entire time. He held my hand and apologized. He promised that the pain would end. He told me everything, and sometimes, I would listen. He told me what he was, what I was becoming….a vampire.

I didn’t believe him. He apologized each time I screamed out in pain. Edward had called for him and I heard them argue over me. Edward was on my side, he wanted me dead. Through the few times I had encountered Edward, I could always see what he thought of me. The man had no tact. I was grateful just this once that we were on the same page. I wanted death just as much as he wanted me dead.

Esme of course sided with her husband in prolonging my torture and allowing me to suffer. After the argument Esme sat with me, throughout my transformation. While I was in one of my lucid moments she dressed me in one of her dresses and threw away the tattered clothing.

Edward challenged Carlisle’s authority again, asking what they would do with me. I could hear the argument so clearly. Carlisle suggested that I may want to go my own way. I was terrified at that suggestion. I knew my life was over, but I did not want to be alone. I thanked God many times as my pain slowly ended. Carlisle & Esme explained to me again what I was, while Edward leaned on the wall with his arms folded as he glared at me. This time I believed Carlisle & Esme. I felt the thirst, my flawless beautiful & hard skin. I caught the reflection of my brilliant blood red eyes in the glass.

I felt better when I saw my reflection, I was just as beautiful as the Cullens now, if not more beautiful, with the exception of my eyes.

I had decided to stay with the Cullens & the three agreed it would be best if we left soon, seeing as I am what they like to call a “newborn.” I was surprised when Edward asked to be alone with me. When he found me alone, he welcomed me into the family and he gave you, my diary, to me. He explained that he had snuck into my home to see if he could bring me anything to make the stress of this change less painful… and then he found you, my dearest diary.

I asked if he had read you and he swore he hadn’t. He asked for me to trust him. I found that hilarious and I realized that I would never trust another man as long as I lived. I must leave now. Edward, Carlisle & Esme are taking me hunting so my thirst doesn’t become overwhelming. I will tell you this before I leave… Royce & his friends, their days are numbered.

~Rosalie Hale

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My Dearest Diary (Cold Feet : Is this really true love?)

I have finally completed the wedding details. My life has still been chaotic. My mother has finished training me on how to manage the household, and moved onto teaching me how to keep my man satisfied…she told me so many things and they made me blush. My mother told me men like women that were wild and passionate and kept things interesting. I believe no daughter ever wants to have this sort of conversation with their mother.

This bothered me greatly, but there is something else I am worried about. Something more important. I am beginning to question Royce’s feelings for me. I love him more than anything, but I can’t help but wonder how much he really loves me. He is always busy; I understand he has many responsibilities at work, but regardless, we do not spend a great deal of time together.

When I bring up the subject of children, he completely changes it. I don’t think he wants children, but I do. I want to see fair-haired children playing on the huge lawn of our estate. I want to be there with those children, playing with them, reading them bedtime stories, and kissing their boo boos better. I want to be a mother so badly. I want the happy life. I want true love and I am starting to doubt that this, Royce, is what I really want.

Something else that bothers me about Royce is when he kisses me, I don’t feel passion…I thought I did, the night when he proposed he kissed me. I realize now it wasn’t Passion, but force. He forced his lips onto mine and as much as I tried to hold my own that night, as I do now, he wouldn’t let me…it’s like he wants ultimate control over me.

I want to speak to Royce about this, but I can’t. He is too busy “socializing” with his wealthy friends. They are sons of other rich men. This only validates my point – is this a true lover, or is he only lusting over me? How can he love me, when he would rather go “socializing” with his friends over spending time with his fiance.

I needed guidance and found none. I went to my mother to discuss my concerns, but she would not hear a word of it. She dismissed my concerns saying it was “Cold feet,” but I realize my mother did not care about my concerns, I think she wants this wedding more than I do. If I become Mrs. Royce King, then my mother becomes upper class by association.

I don’t know what to do, I need guidance…I can’t trust my mothers guidance. Not this time. I need to find someone who has nothing to gain from whether I marry Royce or not. I know just who to go to. I will go see my friend Vera. She will be able to help me and I will get to play with little Henry… he is such a beautiful boy. All smiles and dimples.

I need to make a choice before it’s too late. Do I love Royce, Does Royce love me?, Can we be happy together? I need these answers and I pray that before I make my next entry that I have the answer to these questions. Wish me Luck my dearest diary.

~Rosalie Hale

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Dearest Diary (The Ball: Royce is my King & I am his Queen)

Date: March 25th 1933

I am sorry that I have not had the time to write in you, it’s just my life has been so busy. I have been socializing with some of my mother’s friends and building useful “contacts,” as my mother calls them. My mother believes it is always useful to be friends with at least one gossip – you learn the news before it is published. But she also says it is a double edge sword. When around gossips, you must show no signs of weakness, or else they too will gossip about you. My mother is such a wise & insightful woman.

Mr.Royce King has been courting me continuously since my last entry, of course he is much too busy to come visit me often, so he sends me beautiful violets. He seems to think they match my eyes. This morning my mother and I prepared for the evening. Royce invited my parents and I to a lovely ball. It was a beautiful party. I was unsure of the purpose behind it at the time, not even my mother knew of the purpose, and she knows everything from her close circle of friends.

I enjoyed myself very much. I danced Royce the waltz – such a beautiful dance. The way he leads is amazing. I knew where I was going, and I felt safe in his arms.

I could have danced all night with Mr. Royce and still have asked for more. After the Waltz, Royce and I went to the court yard. We watched the stars & the beautiful full moon. The scent of the flowers had me nearly intoxicated… and then Royce did something I did not expect. He got down on one knee and opened a small black box to show a gold ring with a diamond on it. Oh his words were so romantic:

“Lady Rosalie Hale, you are the most beautiful women I have ever met, your beauty is like a breath of fresh air your soul so pure and innocent. Do me the honer of becoming my wife &  I shall love you for eternity as a man, nothing more, nothing less.”

I accepted Immediately. We returned to the ball and I learned that the reason for the ball was as an engagement party.

My mother was thrilled to hear the news, my father, however, was not surprised. On the way home I learned that my Fiance Royce had asked for father’s blessing. All my dreams are coming true. Soon I will be living as the lady of the household – I will manage Royce’s household and keep order while he goes to work to earn our living. Someday we may very well have children that will play on the beautiful estate. He will be the king & I, the Queen.

I wish to speak to Royce more about the wedding itself. He insisted as soon as possible, but I just don’t know. I want this completely, entirely, but the problem is there is this small bothersome part of me that cannot help but wonder if this was the right thing to do.

I should not complain, he is spoiling me, treating me the way I deserve to be treated and in order for that money to be spent, he must work. I should focus less on how much we spend time together & more on how much he can provide for me. Tomorrow my mother and I will begin organizing the wedding. As for now, I believe I must sleep, as the future Mrs. Royce King I must look good for my man, so I do not shame him.

~Rosalie Hale King.

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Dearest Diary (I think I have found my Prince Charming)

Date: January 15th 1933

I believe I found my prince charming. It has been 14 days since my last entry – I have been dreadfully busy I’m afraid, too busy to even confide in you. I shall inform you of my many exciting exploits. First of all I have found my fairytale prince in Mr. Royce King. Such a wonderful & noble gentleman. Every night since I went to the bank I received a fresh bouquet of violets. My mother told me today I have the scent of the Violets in me.

I spend my days continuing my lessons on how to be a noblewoman and bring honer to my partner & family. I learnt from my mother that one must treat the help exactly as they are – the help. She told me that those in lower class are poor because they are not motivated enough, and by being firm with them I am actually helping them become more motivated. It makes perfect sense to me, how wise my mother is. I aspire to be just like her only instead of having my husband working for the bank he will own the bank. I will not be in middle class for the rest of my life, like her.

I spend my evenings with Mr. Royce King, we walk downtown together & go to all the high society social events. I believe I am falling in love with Royce. I love his beautiful chocolate brown eyes and short wavy hair. He was a perfect specimen of a man and when beside me, I shined out even more. I love the attention, people must learn that I am the most beautiful women in the world. I love myself more than anyone and anything, because if I don’t love myself then how can I expect others to love me?

My dashing Royce spoke among the men, he has so many friends. I spoke to the wives of his friends and they loved me, naturally. There is no man woman or child who cannot help, but stop in awe of my beauty…..well there is one that Edward Masen man. I have met him twice since my last entry and let me just say he has no socializing skills at all. He kept glaring at me, it was as if he knew what I was thinking. I, however, would not lower my standards by associating with riffraff such as him.

This evening we had such a lovely meal. I had a salad & steak I even sipped on white wine, but of course I would never shame myself by getting intoxicated. My mother taught me better than that. I must go now, purple bags under my eyes & wrinkles is not an appealing look. Last thing I want to do is look like Mrs. Esme Cullen.

~Rosalie Hale

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Dearest Diary (Topic: The Arrival of the Cullens & Royce King)

You have heard Bella’s story, now it’s my turn…

Date: January 1st 1933

What an amazing day today. So much has happened to me. To think it all started in the usual way. My brothers off scampering about. My father had left for work & My mother is managing the house. I was in my room combing my long beautiful hair one thousand times on each side when my mother knocked on my door. She told me she forgot to send father to work with his lunch. I was very worried, father working on an empty stomach – what if he made a mistake. He would get fired and then who would buy me my beautiful dresses.

My mother strangely insisted that I wear my white Organza and roll up my hair. I was very displeased. I had just finished combing my hear. Honestly the poor people believe that it’s easy to look beautiful, but it’s not, it is hard work to look as beautiful as I do. My mother should have known better, but still I did as I was told and I wore the white organza & rolled up my hair. I inspected myself with great detail along with my mother’s help. I did not want to embarrass myself or my family. My mother had asked me to return right after I visit the bank. She made plans for us to go shopping, something that brightened my mood greatly.

As usual everyone that worked at the bank was watching me. I did not take much attention to all the common looking old perverts. I was much too busy with my own mission, drop the food off and go shopping a simple enough task. I did notice that there were a few men around Mr. King, my father’s boss. I delivered the meal to my father and kissed him on the cheek. When I returned home my mother and I had gone shopping and purchased some beautiful dresses. On the walk home, my mother pointed out the Cullens, who were straight ahead of us. My mother had met the Cullens the day before and I was surprised to see how beautiful they were. All of them. Their beauty was otherworldly. I felt Inferior and I did not like feeling that way, not one bit. My mother introduced me to the Cullens.

Doctor Carlisle Cullen – how can I put such beauty into words: He has pale skin, golden eyes & blond hair. He is around six feet tall, looking at him and comparing his beauty to my own made me shiver for a moment out of fury, to see someone more beautiful than myself is totally unacceptable. Then there was Esme Cullen, Carlisle’s wife, she is at least 5’6″, with caramel-colored hair. She also had gold eyes, pale skin and she was slender, but rounded. She had a heart shape face too she would have been perfect if not for the purple circles under her eyes. Well, I suppose that is what happens when you are a housewife with no hired help. You do the work yourself and you sleep less. Finally, there was Edward Masen, Esme Cullen’s Little brother. How I loathe… loathe is much too strong a word. I dislike him. Such a rude & uneducated young man such as himself. He has high cheek bones and his nose is straight with full lips. The hair was a messy bronze color, which I consider to be unattractive. How does he expect to court a lady when he is going around with messy hair? He is the same height as his brother in law, Doctor Carlisle Cullen. He has a slender body, something I found unforgivable. I placed my hand as to shake like a lady and instead of grabbing my hand to kiss it like a gentleman, he does nothing. Mr. Mason should be sent to reform school.

All in all I must say, I do not like this Cullen family much at all. They have the potential to be middle class, but the way they dress and act, now I do not think that will be happening.

Oh yes, before I forget, father returned home from work and shortly after his return there was a knock at the door. When mother answered, the delivery man had a bouquet of roses. My mother called me and when I came down she handed me the roses and a card that read:

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
Your eyes are amazing
and so are you

~Royce King

I was excited. I remembered how attractive Mr. King was the other day, and he is also very wealthy, too. My mother and father also seemed pleased. I must leave now, I am going to have dinner.

~Rosalie Hale

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