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March

31st

Dear Diary (Drama: Vampire Style)

I should have mentioned it to them… all of them. I didn’t want Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper or Baylor to become angry with me, so I didn’t tell them of my plans to let Charlie know about what I’ve become.

Alice, Esme, Edward and, of course, Carlisle were the only ones I told.

After Edward called Carlisle to come help with Charlie and his fainting episode, Carlisle then called Esme at the Cullen house to let her know he would be late. He briefly explained what had happened to Charlie. Esme was on the home office phone thinking no one could hear her when she asked Carlisle, “Does Charlie know about Bella now?” Followed up by, “He fainted after she showed him her skin? Is he okay?”
Rosalie overheard the entire thing.

Great.

My return to the Cullen house after that was less welcoming than the very first time I had ever visited, as a human. As soon as Edward, Nessie and I walked through the door, I heard a low heinous growl. Alice glided over to us and whispered the words I was afraid of: “They know.”

I didn’t have a second to ask Alice any questions before Rosalie was face-to-face with me, her lips pulled over her perfect teeth. Edward and Alice crouched in front of me, Edward letting out a deep, threatening growl. It’s odd how they’re all so quick to forget that I’m technically stronger than any of them, because I am a newborn. No matter what, though, Edward will eternally feel protective of me.

Rosalie didn’t give me a second to explain before she started to interrogate me.
“What will you do when the Volturi find out, Bella?”
“Did you even think to run this past the rest if us?”

Then the last question, and this one hurt. “How could you risk your own daughters’ life like that?”

Edward’s voice echoed off the white walls as he lashed back at Rosalie. Somehow, this turned into a brawl between just the two of them. But I couldn’t let it be this way. This was my fault. I began a feeble attempt to explain myself, but Edward’s voice drowned mine out and Rosalie wouldn’t even look at me, anyway.

Jasper, Emmett and Baylor were completely siding with Rosalie, and even questioned my commitment to the family. Esme and Carlisle swiftly leaped down the stairs at this point, and Carlisle asked that we discuss this in a more “respectable manner.”

Rosalie kept going with the jabs and questions, though. She was unrelenting, to say the least. “Why should we respect Bella when she can’t follow a simple rule?” she hissed, her eyes refusing to leave my face as she spoke.

I tried and tried to reassure them all that Charlie wouldn’t tell a soul. I tried to explain how hard it was to have a living human family member who I had to lie to every single day; how hard it was to no longer be able to spend much time with Charlie, and to have no explanation for him when he simply asks me why.

I could see Emmett was beginning to moderately understand my points. He placed his arm around Rosalie, who was still giving me that cadaverous glare. Jasper was clearly enraged, too. Lucky for me, though, Alice was quick to rebuttal anything he said, in my defense. Alice was great at seeing both sides of everything.

Edward was half–arguing with people’s thoughts, and half arguing their actual spoken words, which got confusing.

At one point everyone was growling over each other, no one listening to one another, when Nessie slowly walked towards Rosalie and placed one hand on her cheek.
Rosalie’s face slowly relaxed, her eyes seeming less lethal, less threatening. Edward had already read Rosalie’s thoughts and mumbled three quick words out loud: “Nessie is scared.”

In what seemed like a fraction of a moment, Baylor hurried upstairs, Alice and Jasper went and sat in front of the television, Emmett and Rosalie stormed off into the garage, and Carlisle and Esme took Nessie into the backyard and called Jacob to come be with her.

Edward and I stood in the front lobby of the house, stunned, staring at each other. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t take it back. Charlie already knew.

In one instantaneous move, Edward placed his arm around me, holding me in his tight, protective grip. I placed my head on his shoulder and let him into my mind. I needed him to see how truly horrible I felt for any danger I’ve caused Cullen’s, and how regretful I was for posing any danger on our beautiful little Nessie. Our angel.

I just wish they could have seen and placed as much trust in Charlie as I did. I’d been back to Charlie’s house, and gave him the long version of our story – once he was sitting down, of course.

He wont tell a soul. I know he wont.

Another thing, too, is that Charlie’s line of work has required him to keep numerous secrets from the towns’ people on many occasions. He’s used to keeping secrets. Besides, he knows we could all get destroyed if word got out; Charlie would never do anything to cause that to happen. I’m his daughter, he wants to protect me.

Before I could finish my train of thought, Baylor almost silently flew down the stairs with the one small khaki colored bag he had brought with him, walked past Edward and I – without even glancing at us – and flew out the door.

Alice daintily walked back into the lobby from the T.V. room, her eyes focused, her body graceful, yet tense. I swiftly glanced at Edward, who was giving Alice a knowing stare. Alice was having a vision and I knew it wasn’t good.

Alice and Edward took me outside, where no one could hear us, and told me that Baylor was going to the Volturi.

To Be Continued…

-Bella

March

9th

Dear Diary (From Mother To Daughter)

Edward could see how much I’d been hurting over the past while over Charlie’s shooting. He could see every emotion flow through me, from confusion, to anger. He could also tell how hard I was trying to conceal those emotions, to keep them hidden from Nessie. I never want to make her worry.

Earlier today, Nessie showed Edward and I her thoughts. When she touched us we saw her, Charlie, Jacob, Edward and myself gathered in Charlie’s living room. Charlie looked healthy and happy. We were all laughing and having a good time. It was a simple thought, but it brought a smile to my face. To see Charlie back to his normal self, to see us all together like that, it felt good.

Edward was very grateful for the thought, too. When I hurt, he hurts. I wish it wasn’t like that. I wish he didn’t feel my pain, but that is all part of giving yourself to another person. I gave all of me to him and he gave all of himself to me.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Edward walk into the room with my old rocking chair. The one that used to sit in the corner of my bedroom at Charlie’s house.

It looked different.

He had the chair refinished, and the words, “From Mother To Daughter” carved into the back panel. It looked as if he used a machine to carve the words, but he had completely done the whole thing himself.

The writing was so perfect. So smooth. So… beautiful.

Edward didn’t take his eyes off me when he said, “From one angel, to another. I made this for you, Nessie. It was your Mother’s.”

My expression must have been animated, because Edward flashed that crooked grin at me and raised one eyebrow. He had a playful, yet curious expression on his face. I let him into my mind to show him how much this meant to me. He spoke again, in a voice that seemingly gets more musical with every word. “This chair brings back great memories of the nights I used to have to watch you in your sleep to get close to you, Bella. Though I am quite fine standing, I enjoyed sitting in this chair because it had your scent on it. I thought it would look great in Nessie’s room, and maybe –if Jacob can fit – he can sit in there and watch her, like I used to watch you.”

Nessie was already rocking in the chair, smiling and twisting her head back to examine the carved words on the back. She ran her little fingers over the words and smiled. This meant more to me than I could express. And, most importantly, it would hopefully distract Nessie from my roller coaster emotions for the time being.

I gave Edward three soft, slow kisses on his chin, then thanked him one more time before heading over to the hospital to visit with Charlie for the last time before he would be released.

Carlisle said Charlie’s infection was all cleared up, and his wounds were healing nicely. He had color back in his face, too. His arm was still a little bit numb from the bullet that hit him in the shoulder, but Carlisle said that, with time, the numbness would fade and he would regain full strength in that arm.

I will be picking Charlie up in the afternoon. I spent last night watching him sleep, and fighting the scorching hot knives that were stabbing my throat, or seemed to be. The scents that flow through the hospital are tortuous, but being by Charlie’s side was the most important thing to me. Besides, I always felt safe knowing I had Carlisle there to help me when temptation became too much.

I have to run now. Edward and I are going to go decorate Charlie’s house with a “Welcome Home” banner, balloons, cake and a new flat screen T.V. we bought for him. He will be resting up on the couch quite a bit, and his old flat screen wasn’t very big, plus it was becoming outdated. We want him to feel like he’s part of the baseball game when it’s on. I think he’s going to be happy.

Will write again soon.

-Bella Cullen.

 

March

1st

Dear Diary (Charlie Is Hurt)

The amount of anger I am experiencing at this moment is unexplainable. I can’t write for long, as I have a lot happening right now. This is the first time I have felt the full potential of my vampire-strength, the first time since being turned that I have considered killing a human.

Charlie was shot in the line of duty yesterday.

A group of punks made their way to Forks from Seattle in an attempt the run from the police there. They were involved in a shooting in Seattle, and killed two people.
Charlie was on duty and got a call regarding ‘suspicious behavior’ occurring about one kilometre from the diner. A witness stated that as soon as Charlie arrived on the scene, as soon as he stepped out of his cruiser, he was shot.

Three times.

Once in the lung. Once in the right shoulder, and once in his chest – so close to his heart that Carlisle said if it shifted at all, it could stop his heart.

The criminals are still out there, too. Edward has been trying to read peoples thoughts all day to find out where they are. He wants to turn them in. I, however, want to kill them. Edward keeps reminding me of what could happen if I did anything to harm the humans, but I just don’t know if I can stop myself. This desire to kill, this anger, is overwhelming. It’s eating away at me. I cannot let them get away with what they have done to my Father. For nearly taking his life.

I don’t know what I’m going to do once we track them down. I can’t trust myself.

In the meantime, I’m heading back to the hospital to speak to Carlisle about Charlies progress, and to be by Charlies side.  Nessie, Edward, Jacob, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme and Sue are there already. I came home for a few hours to gather myself… the smell of blood in the hospital became hard for me to handle. I’ll up date you on Charlie’s progress when I can.

I have some punks to go hunt down.

I hope we find them soon…

-Bella